I am looking for a bit of advice really.

Last October I started teaching a 4 year old girl the recorder. At the time I didn't realise quite how young a four-year-old she was; she'd only turned 4 in August! I was contacted about the lessons by the child's Nanny and everything started well. She's a very sweet child and seems musical - she's happy to sing me the songs she learns at school and seems enthusiastic about her lessons with me. We do lots of singing and playing nursery rhymes, conducting each other, improvising rhythms and 3-note tunes and occasionally dip into Red Hot Recorder to play with a backing CD. She has a range of 5 notes on the recorder and can read colour-coded music and knows the difference between crotchets, minims and semibreves. I think that this a brilliant achievement for such a young child and she always seems pleased to see me (a good sign at that age!). Nanny has sat in lessons a couple of times but as there is a younger child also they don't come in every week.

The problem is that the nanny (I've only ever met the mother once) seems to think that she isn't learning enough with me and has started being very rude to me over the last few months and ever more so in the last two weeks. When the first incident arose (the child mentioned to me that nanny had told her I wasn't teaching her enough) I immediately rang the parents to check that they were happy with the lessons. I spoke to Dad who told me that the girl seemed to love the lessons, was always singing and playing her recorder at home and 'don't listen to nanny, she doesn't make the decisions'. I was reassured by this and lessons carried on as normal.
Now last week I delivered child back to nanny in the car as normal and was just saying what a good lesson we'd had and how well child had concentrated, and the nanny was really deliberately trying to shut the car door on me (this has happened before). I carried on talking to finish my sentence and she really couldn't get rid of me quick enough. She then said abruptly that child would be doing piano soon and they would let me know when they'd found a teacher. I said that I teach piano also (although I wouldn't usually start a child this young on piano, but I kind of wanted to make the point!) and she said (again trying to close the door on me) that they'd be looking for someone else.
Again I left a message on the mother's phone asking if there was anything I could do to help or if they were happy with the lessons she was receiving from me and mother didn't even bother to reply but got nanny to email me saying they would carry on recorder until July, and if I had any problems I should not bother the parents but speak to her.

They are coming again this afternoon and if the nanny is rude again I think I will think about terminating lessons as it is really getting to me and I don't need the hassle! I really feel that the mother should've taken the time to reply to me, as they are paying the bill surely it is my responsibility to make sure they are happy with the service I am providing?!

Do you think I've been teaching her enough (I'm racking my brains to see if I've missed something vital!)? In my opinion music lessons at this age should be about enjoyment rather than learning lots of theory and notes etc. I teach other 4/5 year olds, although they're in small groups, and they've made nowhere near as much progress as she has!

Reassurance needed mainly, and some confidence to move on with this rather rude nanny!

Hope that didn't drag on too long, thanks in advance! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

Is the nanny musical? Perhaps try asking her where she thinks the child should be and then giving her reasons why she is not. After all you are the professional music teacher here not the Nanny. It also seems as if the Father is more happy to talk about the child's music than the mother, perhaps getting in touch with him might be a good idea to see if its the nanny's own view or an inherited view.

At the end of the day however you are providing a service, and really if the nanny is constantly rude to you, nobody should have to put up with that so you can terminate lessons. Perhaps if you have T+C's that you give out, (as I know some do), you can word it in there (I think doctors and health practises do it well, but i cant remember the language used).

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

I teach a two 5 year olds (have had them since they were 4) together in one 30 minute session - we don't do recorder but use ocarina and tuned percussion. After a year's worth of lesson the children can reliably recognise note values, some simple things on the stave - ie they can tell you what a treble or bass clef is, rest values etc and about 5 notes which is all we have covered on the ocarina. They can echo note and rhythm patterns by voice and on the chime bars and we've started on part singing and playing in round/canon form. I sometimes pick exercises from the ABRSM aural books for grades 1 and 2 and they are very good at these. We also compose our own music and improvise on short passages of familiar tunes. I'd say they were at a similar level to your student and the parents are very happy with their progress.

Not sure what to do if the nanny is rude and the mother unresponsive except perhaps, as SaxLad has said, try to speak to the father. If you don't get anywhere and the nanny is still rude to you then I'd terminate the lessons, especially as they are intending to move on in any event.

I found your account of the activities you do with this chid very interesting and think you have got it right. She has done really well to respond to individual lessons at a very young age and to
be able to do the things you describe. It would be a great shame to lose her but on the other hand I don't see why you should put up with rudeness from the nanny.

I can't help wondering if the parents really got your message - is it possible that the nnany decided to reply of her own accord. Has she, I wonder, got some issue with the parents? Do the parents really not want to be bothered? If that's the case you are probably on a loser but I'd be inclined to contact the parents by letter, not phone or email.

It all depends on what you want to say to them but I don't think I could cope with a nanny. I would probably say that it is not my policy to deal with anyone other than the parents of my pupils over matters directly concerned with the curriculum I use.

Best of luck.

Are we talking about a "nanny" as in grandma here, or an employee of the family?

The real warning bell for me in your post is that the parents aren't even in agreement about who's in charge. You've already tried speaking to mother, father and nanny and you are getting contradictory responses from them. My advice would be: don't get caught up in the tangle - terminate the lessons.

I'd ask the Nanny outright what was troubling her as you have noticed a change in her attitude and you'd like to clear up any issue she may have!
I'm afraid I couldn't just tolerate that, I'd need answers!