Teaching At Home Options

[jacobvaneyck]

I know this has been discussed somewhere on here before, but it's worth getting some views on it now. As a member of the MU, their advice states that when teaching a child in your own house you should ensure another adult is around, either a member of the house or their parent. I know this is for a reason, and I have made sure this is the case so far. How strictly do others go by this?

Inevitably different people will be out at different times. Equally I would hate to insist on parents waiting in except the very first lesson, though I would certainly never refuse if they wanted to. Obviously some children simply prefer not to have parents listening the whole lesson either. If that made them uncomfortable I wouldn't be happy with that either. I have an enhanced disclosure for the schools I work in, but people tend not to ask anyway.

It's all a minefield these days, but what do people do with this? Comply only if possible, or simply refuse to teach without others around. It's probably a really silly question, but it's quite new to me.

[stevensfo]

Yes, the hysteria of the tabloid press and chattering classes affects us all.

Can't you simply explain this to the parent and ask him/her what they think? As a parent and related to (too many?) teachers, I can really sympathise.

Assuming the teacher's 'known' and respected, I'd have no problem about leaving my child. I suspect that most parents feel the same. We're not talking about a man in a dirty raincoat at the side of the road. You have an address, a name, a reputation etc. i.e. We know where you live!

Just don't advertise 'Clarinet Teacher - of no fixed abode' (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

Steve

[JohnS]

No parent = no lesson. It's a basic rule for me. I tell parents that there are no exceptions. After the child has been coming for years, they still stay in. I have always done it like that.

There are so many good reasons why a parent should be in with the pupil. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

[jacobvaneyck]

No parent = no lesson. It's a basic rule for me. I tell parents that there are no exceptions. After the child has been coming for years, they still stay in. I have always done it like that.

There are so many good reasons why a parent should be in with the pupil. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

If that's your feeling then of course do it that way, but that's the kind of thing I want to avoid imposing on everyone. Certainly my current and only pupil gave the impression she would prefer not having her mum next door listening. We'll see what happens in future. I always invite them to stay, but if they choose not to it's their choice as far as I'm concerned.

I agree we don't want to get too paranoid about the whole thing. One of the primaries I taught in this week had two people come on their own, lesson in basically a large cupboard. The teacher even said I could close the door, but decided not to. In the other, it's in the assembly hall, classrooms all around, people walk through etc.

Thanks for your thoughts everyone.

[july]

No parent = no lesson. It's a basic rule for me. I tell parents that there are no exceptions. After the child has been coming for years, they still stay in. I have always done it like that.

There are so many good reasons why a parent should be in with the pupil. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

Neither of my parents has ever stayed in a single lesson with me. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blink.gif)
I was 13 when I started, which may be older than the pupils you teach, but still I would have thought it very strange and awkward if they had. My parents are very busy and always made it clear that they couldn't sit around for an hour, but that never bothered me. The only thing I insist on to this day is that they come to my concerts. This may be a cultural difference. I don't think it is at all usual for parents to stay in lessons in Germany.

Sorry for going off on a tangent!

[maggiemay]

I'm afraid I don't bother. Quite often there is someone else in the house, but it has not occurred to me to feel "under suspicion " if there isn't . Parents stay if they want to, mostly not .

Perhaps being female helps - although of course there are pervs of both sexes. Perhaps the fact that I've been teaching for quite a long time helps too - but doesn't prove anything of course.
(oooh fancy - she 's been getting away with ????? for years!! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ph34r.gif) )

My teaching room is overlooked from the road by a large window, which may help a bit. I refuse to get paranoid about this - sorry if that doesn't help much ! I do appreciate it may be a bit different for a guy - I have kids of my own which helps me feel regarded as "normal" but again doesn't prove a thing.

[stevensfo]

Perhaps being female helps - although of course there are pervs of both sexes. Perhaps the fact that I've been teaching for quite a long time helps too - but doesn't prove anything of course.

Oh for heaven's sake. Stop reading those stupid tabloids! Someone pointed out years ago that a child is far more likely to be run over by a car than ever come into contact with a 'perv'. But that sort of common sense approach doesn't exactly help to sell the Daily Mail, does it?

Ask yourself: When in the last thousand years did you hear of of a piano teacher 'doing something' to a child?

Steve

[maggiemay]

Perhaps being female helps - although of course there are pervs of both sexes. Perhaps the fact that I've been teaching for quite a long time helps too - but doesn't prove anything of course.

Oh for heaven's sake. Stop reading those stupid tabloids! (quote)

I'm sorry ?? I don't see how this suggest I read tabloids, to be honest.

In fact, I don't.

I did say in another part of my post that I "didn't bother"

?

[jo.clarinet]

Well, I really don't like having parents observing my lessons - I don't like the thought of their beady eyes watching me and their ears stretched for every throwaway comment I might make! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ph34r.gif)

I allow them to stay for the first few lessons if they want to, and then I make it quite clear that I prefer to teach the child on my own, and there has never been the slightest problem with this.

I used to love my own music lessons partly because it WAS just me and the teacher, and would have absolutely hated to have a parent in there. I think pupils need some independence - after all, parents don't go and sit in the classroom with their child at school!

Sometimes there is another person in the house when I'm teaching, but as the music-room door is usually kept shut it doesn't make much difference to us.....

[stevensfo]

Hi Maggie,

Sorry, I didn't read it properly. Apologies! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sad.gif) The post caught me at my bad mood time... ie in between bringing the 2 'horrors' home and pouring myself a well deserved tipple.

Yes, it's a crazy world. The only hope is for us to stand up and refuse to go along with these silly ideas.

Steve

[Rosemary7391]

It has never occured to my parents to sit in on lessons with me, as I started at school. There are usually a few people wandering about, my teachers children usually, and the next person usually comes a few minutes early and listens to the end of my lesson while she sets up. To be honest I think that it would be rather awkward to have my parents sat in on my music lessons, my dad would be forever disagreeing with her and my mom would need an explanation of everything for it to make sense. The cat would be pleased though.

[Lone Ranger]

When I started teaching a few pupils part time about 7 or 8 years ago, I made a point of showing the parents the room where I would be teaching, ensuring that they understood it was adjacent to our family room, through glass panelled doors. My wife and two daughters would be there or thereabouts. Sometimes my teaching will be disturbed by the laughter as they watched television, though for the most part neither party disturbed the other at all. It was and is ideal. As has been said, there were times when nobody was in the house etc. None of my parents ever opt top stay, but I have made it clear from the outset that they may do if they wish.

I was initially loath to mention that the family room was adjoining my teaching room as it looked as though I was on the defensive and I suppose I was somewhat paranoid about putting silly ideas in parents' heads, but then I remembered the sort of world we're living in. Here in N. Ireland the community is very tight and close and generally speaking one's reputation will have gone before and as a middle aged man I hope I am reasonably well known as a grammar school teacher of 30 years standing who teachers piano part-time.

However, let's face it. The world is going to become more "perv-obsessed" not less, not least because some people see it as an opportunity to make a quick and easy winning in court by alleging dear knows what against an innocent person if they are desperate enough for the money or have an axe to grind of any sort. So I'd say let's not get paranoid, but let's not sweep the problem under the carpet either...

LR

[jacobvaneyck]

Well I've just had said pupil round for her lesson, and mother was quite happy to leave her. My dad and sister were around but not exactly in earshot, and apart from looking petrified when I mentioned singing (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sad.gif) , we had a really good lesson. Same age as most people in the school I see, but much more advanced technically and musically.

I don't agree that being male or female makes any diference to how safe you are or are not. As Steve said, there is everything of both genders out there.

[sbhoa]

Even in these wary times most parents do tend to trust the teacher. With private teaching they will have met you anyway and decided that you are fit to teach their child.
I've had a couple of sessions this week with a girl I will be accompanying in her sax exam and the father has waited outside in the car. I'd never met them before and I am the substitute accompanist so it's sort of a second hand thing too.

[maggiemay]

Hi Maggie,

Sorry, I didn't read it properly. Apologies! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sad.gif) The post caught me at my bad mood time... ie in between bringing the 2 'horrors' home and pouring myself a well deserved tipple.

Yes, it's a crazy world. The only hope is for us to stand up and refuse to go along with these silly ideas.

Steve

Thanks Steve - I'd thought we were roughly batting for the same side - just wondered if I'd been a bit oblique!
(IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)