Random Thoughts Or Comments, when you don't know where else to post Options

[Misti]

I recieved several small gifts from my partner's family this year. It rather caught me by suprise (my extended family has a general rule that you don't give gifts unless you're in the same room on Christmas Day!) and its driving me scatty that I've not been able to send thanks, because I don't have contact details for any of these various elderly aunts and grandmothers. I have to be honest, I would be hard placed to put faces to all the names on the labels: So far though, I've only met these people at large family gatherings, where I'm introduced to so many that I loose track!

Of course, it doesn't help that at these family gatherings I have learnt to avoid being cornered by anyone female and eldery because of the dreaded conversation that tends to crop up:

"So... how long have you and *boyfriendone* been together now?"

"Erm... 5 years..."

"Oh! Oh... So, have you thought about getting engaged?"

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/ohmy.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ohmy.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ohmy.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ohmy.gif)

And now they're all sending me gifts. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ph34r.gif)

[corenfa]

Misti - I am an old hand at answering such questions, my answers range over:

"No."

"Maybe when I feel like it."

"I'm holding out for a rich husband"

(I do however usually get asked only by people I know relatively well, so I can take the ____ a bit...)

Good luck (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

[CJB]

I recieved several small gifts from my partner's family this year. It rather caught me by suprise (my extended family has a general rule that you don't give gifts unless you're in the same room on Christmas Day!) and its driving me scatty that I've not been able to send thanks, because I don't have contact details for any of these various elderly aunts and grandmothers. I have to be honest, I would be hard placed to put faces to all the names on the labels: So far though, I've only met these people at large family gatherings, where I'm introduced to so many that I loose track!

Of course, it doesn't help that at these family gatherings I have learnt to avoid being cornered by anyone female and eldery because of the dreaded conversation that tends to crop up:

"So... how long have you and *boyfriendone* been together now?"

"Erm... 5 years..."

"Oh! Oh... So, have you thought about getting engaged?"

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/ohmy.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ohmy.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ohmy.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ohmy.gif) U

And now they're all sending me gifts. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ph34r.gif)

Don't worry it'll only be a year or so before they change to asking about kids instead.

[dave brum]

Ed Miliband is a nauseating little chode. he hasn't a clue how to 'oppose' anything. But Ed Balls is a hundred times worse.

[Misti]

Don't worry it'll only be a year or so before they change to asking about kids instead.

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/huh.gif)

*faints clean away*

To be honest, I have an evil alternative to some of Corenfa's suggestions. Boyfriend-one has a cousin who is a couple of years older than us, and has a girlfriend who endures similar conversations. I have been known to say things like:

"Oh, I think *cousin* and *cousin's girlfriend* will get their first..."

Which usually sends the elderly relation flouncing off to interrogate the cousin's girlfriend! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/whistling.gif)

I am utterly convinced that some members of the family are running a sweepstake as to who will actually get their first!

If I'm feeling really mean, I say: "Mmm, I think you need to ask *boyfriend-one* about that!" For some reason I haven't quite sussed out, none of them seem to dare do this!

By contrast, my own family are reasonably good. My parents have only mentioned that its a leap year this year once.

[dave brum]

I cannot possibly do any piano practise today as it's far too cold in the piano room even with the heating on. My hands are blue with cold also.

[corenfa]

..
By contrast, my own family are reasonably good. My parents have only mentioned that its a leap year this year once.

My mother wins the award for that. Around the time of leap day 2008, I lost my job. I phoned home to share this news. There was a brief silence on the phone and then she asked: "It's February 29 soon, are you going to get married?"

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/ph34r.gif)

I actually think that since she wasn't expecting to hear this, her mouth just sprang into action and filled in the blank with the first words that the brain thought up.

[mel2]

I am utterly convinced that some members of the family are running a sweepstake as to who will actually get their first!



By contrast, my own family are reasonably good. My parents have only mentioned that its a leap year this year once.

Get their first what? Child?

I will not be dictated to as to my conversation. I was very restrained and forbore to mention the M word when son and girlfriend were around for a couple of days recently. But why should I be gagged when he freely says things like : "..you're getting to the age now when you just don't notice things like cobwebs and dead things under the sofa cushions".

This from the arch teen-slob of a few years ago.

[Misti]

:S I keep typing their instead of there at the moment. Its so irritating!

My mother probably feels the same way as you, Mel. On the other hand I am allergic to dust, and I've noticed that I have to dose up on anti-hystamines before visiting my parents! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

[corenfa]

I could deal with the questions if they were asked in the same spirit as asking "what car do you drive" or "what do you do on weekends" or "how is your job going" - a general "I am interested in your life and you as a person, so I am asking after your welfare", but at least with my relatives (them being Asian) there is always the subtext of "it is time for you to settle down because that's what people do". Sometimes it isn't even subtext, it's explicitly said.

I don't like being made to feel that I am wanting for not conforming to expectations - so I decided that I wasn't going to feel that way any more, and I just give silly answers now.

[mel2]

I don't like being made to feel that I am wanting for not conforming to expectations - so I decided that I wasn't going to feel that way any more, and I just give silly answers now.

I assumed you were married!. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ph34r.gif) You havementioned a 'Mr Corenfa' in previous posts. Which brings us back to a conversation somewhere on the forum recently about who takes who's name after the wedding......

[corenfa]

I don't like being made to feel that I am wanting for not conforming to expectations - so I decided that I wasn't going to feel that way any more, and I just give silly answers now.

I assumed you were married!. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ph34r.gif) You havementioned a 'Mr Corenfa' in previous posts. Which brings us back to a conversation somewhere on the forum recently about who takes who's name after the wedding......

Hehe, I have mentioned mr C, but it's just a way of indicating the relationship. I don't like saying OH or DH and "boyfriend" makes me feel like I ought to be fifteen and hiding behind bike sheds.

Edit - I'm not at all bothered if people assume I'm married, I only mind if I say I'm not and get asked why not! Similar to how some of my more religious friends ask me why I'm not Christian.

[Misti]

I don't like the phrase boyfriend either: Its doesn't very accurately reflect the status of a 5 year relationship: And makes me feel like I'm still a tween.

I used to use partner, but then I discovered that somehow this led to people assuming I had a female partner, which has been awkward at times! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

My grandparents feel I'm slightly improper for having lived with boyfriend-one outside marriage, but I think they're used to the idea by now! I guess they can't quite get over their strict catholic upbringing. The rest of my family are just curious: I don't feel any questions are driven by the need to drop hints.

One of my friends has recently returned to China as her work visa had expired. She had a long term partner in the UK, but they didn't feel ready to marry. Her mother was livid. "If he cared about you, he'd have married you so you could stay" etc. Her mother had therefore lined up a shortlist of potential suitors for when she got home, and was emailing photographs and career details through to her daughter. We tried to laugh about it, but my friend was really worried about how much the pressure would be on once she got home. I think my friend was planning to try and maintain her relationship in the UK, just as an excuse to fend off her mother's plotting!

[Babybird2]

Families can be complete nightmares. Hubby and me got asked so many times "When are you getting married?".

Now that we are married it's "When are you having children?"... Surprisingly, I'm not overly concerned about my mother in law's ticking biological clock (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

[Czerny]

What has five letters and is not a diary, a blog, a psychiatrist, a confessional or real life? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/unsure.gif)