Paying children to practice Options

[lorraineliyanage]

I have a 7 year old student that is perfectly able to play the piano but, according to his granny, would rather play Club Penguin and Moshi Monsters on the computer, so she pays him a QUID each time he practices. A seven year old being paid to play the piano!

He hadn't made any progress with his piece this week, so I said to the granny that she should take her pound back as it wasn't money well spent. I do think this system is going to end up costing her a fortune, as well as giving him completely the wrong message. I suppose it's not my place to say anything about it but it does make me rather mad!

[barry-clari]

I have a 7 year old student that is perfectly able to play the piano but, according to his granny, would rather play Club Penguin and Moshi Monsters on the computer, so she pays him a QUID each time he practices. A seven year old being paid to play the piano!

He hadn't made any progress with his piece this week, so I said to the granny that she should take her pound back as it wasn't money well spent. I do think this system is going to end up costing her a fortune, as well as giving him completely the wrong message. I suppose it's not my place to say anything about it but it does make me rather mad!

If anything is guaranteed to sew into this child's mind that 'piano practice = chore', then this is...

[Chris H]

If my son had been paid a pound every time he practised from the age of eight until now he'd have a few thousand pounds to his name. It seems like a silly idea to me. My mother pays my sons money for getting good marks in school exams, and I don't agree with that either.

[KTViola]

Well, even if it's a bit misguided, at least someone's supporting the idea of practice!

Etched into my mind forever is the day (back in the day when I worked every hour God sent for a music service in a rather down at heel area) when a child opened her violin case to reveal a little pile of coins clanking around with the fiddle...

'What's all this money doing in here? You going shopping later?', I quipped.

'Nah - Dad gave me that to make me stop practising. He told me to shut up with that bl***y racket while he was trying to watch TV'

At that point, I really understood that my world & priorities were not the same as my pupils'!

[lorraineliyanage]

I am not sure if it is my place to say anything as it is commenting on parenting skills and that isn't really part of my remit. Obviously this kind of plan has no useful purpose in the long-term as bribery only works for a limited period of time.

[Scooby Doo]

I don?t think it is a teacher?s place to comment on parenting matters in general, but when it impacts on learning the instrument, then surely there is a case for saying something, albeit tactfully and respectfully. Granny needs to understand that practice is something that brings it?s own rewards - the child sees the improvement they have made. If she really insists on this way forward, at least set some tangible goals rather than just ?has done some practice? or ?practised for 15 minutes today? - give the kid the pound if he manages to play the first phrase of his piece without mistakes 3 times in a row, for instance.
I suppose payment for practice might start him off with some good habits, but at some point the payment has to be withdrawn. Not a sensible scheme, really - a sticker chart is so much better - kids love stickers, and they are cheap, easy and attractive.

[maggiemay]

..... Obviously this kind of plan has no useful purpose in the long-term as bribery only works for a limited period of time.

I think this hits the nail on the head - eventually it fails to work, and then you are further down the road with no decent practising approach in place.

I am seeing something very similar (I think) with one of mine, who delighted in telling me all through last term that he'd been promised a computer game if he scored a distinction in his grade 2 (March 11).

I had uneasy feelings about this - although it's probably pretty common, I suppose - because it was clearly becoming the main objective, and I didn't really expect that kind of mark anyway.

In the event he scored a high pass - and was visibly disappointed. And we have achieved very little since - in fact I feel I'm struggling a bit to get him back on track.

Completely the wrong message, and I think the OP's comment about asking for the money back was spot on!

[Banjogirl]

And can't she just stop the child playing on the computer? Say 'no'? Or am i completely old fashioned?!

[ma non troppo]

And can't she just stop the child playing on the computer? Say 'no'? Or am i completely old fashioned?!

*Rapturous Applause* (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

[tonedeafmum]

I like the sticker chart idea - and if Granny wants to provide an added incentive she could offer a treat or outing as a reward for a given number of stickers earned. Maybe you could make a chart yourself and stick it in the back of his practice journal - then you're not saying what the family are doing is wrong - just offering an alternative? And you should be the one to give the stickers (when you see evidence of real practice). Kids have a wonderful way of bamboozling nonmusical parents and grandparents into thinking that 10 minutes of random notes and a clatter through a couple of last term's old chestnuts qualifies as practice. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/mad.gif)

As for people who offer large rewards for high grades .... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/mad.gif) squared.

I loathe the 'no prizes for second place' mentality. Daughter has a friend whose parents give her ?25 for a distinction, ?10 for a merit and nothing at all for a pass! Child messed up in her exam last term (she'd worked hard but she got flustered on the day) and teacher was delighted at the end of it when she got 107. Parents haven't even been in to collect the certificate. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sad.gif)

I'm afraid I'm with old fashioned Banjogirl about the computer though - I used to have a rule that gadgets don't go on in my house until practice and homework is done. I found it led to skimping sometimes so now both kids just have a certain amount of 'gadget time' in the week - and when it's gone it's gone. I must be a very scary mother because it wouldn't occur to either of my children that they had any choice but to practice when I tell them to. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/muahaha.gif)

[Seer_Green]

I suppose my very old fashioned and unfashionable view is that children shouldn't need to be bribed to practise at all. All the books on practising say quite clearly that rewarding practise through money or presents gives completely the wrong message.

[lorraineliyanage]

He already has a sticker chart - 10 stickers for a little prize from the treasure box. For most students, that is enough! I made a point of not giving him a sticker yesterday. I also feel like a complete MUG for having given him a medal at our recent Summer Concert for daily practice as if I'd known it was bribery-based practice, then I'd not have been so keen on rewarding that.

Granny doesn't live with them, she is around the corner, so she can't really supervise everything that goes on at home. It is a tough one as the gran is quite musical, so she is best placed to help out with the practice, but I think the parents don't really supervise him much and fob off a lot of the educational duties to granny. I would like to suggest that the computer is only offered as an option once the homework and piano practice is done, but again, it just doesn't feel like my place to get involved with planning his schedule.

I am probably not well placed to be commenting on the parenting issues as earlier today I just bribed my toddler with a sweetie to use the toilet! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ill.gif)

[MusicalNitWit]

Well as I rule with a rod of iron (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif) I don't need to bribe yet but I am not against it in principal, after all that's how adults survive on a daily basis by working for their money.

If we can afford to, I intend to put aside all scholarship money for my kids - assuming they keep up their end of the bargain - as it is their talent and continual hard work that has gained them the scholarship.

I haven't bribed my boys but at times I will say to them that I acknowledge the effort they are putting in and I will get them an X when they finish their exams but I always say the present is for the effort not the result so if they refuse to practice one evening then it's going to take them longer to get that present. Seems to work and I am skint! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif) One example is that I am sending geek boy off to France for three weeks which is quite a big deal for a 12 year old. He hasn't complained (he's logical enough to know it will be good for him) but it does require him to be brave so after he agreed to go I said I would buy him an iPod for being so grown up. I didn't tell him before about the iPod though. Baboon boy, on the other hand, would ak me what he's getting for going! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif)

[jod]

quite simple. Who gives the child access to Club Penguin and Moshi Monsters? Surely at age 7 a parent can control the off button on a PC ... or they are storing up big problems down the line.

Practise does not equal money it equates to time on favourite activity which has to be earnt.

No practise no Computer time and stick to it with grounding so there is no chance that "little brat" "darling child" has any chance to access it elsewhere.

A couple of days cold-turkey will work.

It is amazing how even parent that recognise how important music is in their children's lives do not realise that computer games need to be rationed and controlled. They will do it with TV, but not IT. It is causing untold damage with our children. All that is needed is control of the off button.

No wonder parenting classes are popular, and as a mother who has been on a couple of these courses, the need is obviously very great.

[lorraineliyanage]

No practise no Computer time and stick to it with grounding so there is no chance that "little brat" "darling child" has any chance to access it elsewhere.

Little brat - heh heh!

It would seem quite reasonable that the parents turn the computer off until he has done all the required bits and pieces for the day. Maybe I should suggest a strategy where he practises in the morning as this is usually the most productive time of the day for kids his age. Hopefully they don't let him go on the computer in the morning - but you never know!