Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

> Forums Rules

A shortened version of the Forums Rules is given below. The full version can be found here.

By maintaining a user account and by posting to these forums, you hereby agree to abide by these rules.

FORUMS RULES - A SNAPSHOT
- Stay safe - protect your privacy and respect the privacy of others
- No abusive, offensive or aggressive postings
- No insults or personal attacks
- No foul language
- No trolling
- No inappropriate or illegal material
- No advertising (including "For Sale" or "Wanted" adverts)
- No crossposting
- No forum spamming
- No defamatory comments
- Avoid using jargon, abbreviations or "text talk"

2 Pages V  1 2 >  
 Reply to this topicStart new topic
> Jokes About Musicians, Jokes about Drummers Viola Players Sopranos
tonyteech
post May 23 2006, 10:55 AM
Post #1


Unregistered

I am aware of the unflattering jokes about drummers - unrepeatable ones about sopranos and obscene ones about tenors - rude ones about viola players

Are there any other jokes out there about French Horn players perhaps

Definition of a gentleman - one who can play the banjo but doesn'nt
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
cheeble
post May 23 2006, 01:42 PM
Post #2


Unregistered
I know a French horn joke, but its a bit too rude to post on here!
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Firebird
post May 23 2006, 04:25 PM
Post #3


Unregistered
It's not the seamstress/trills one, is it? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

Horn jokes:

How do you get your viola section to sound like the horn section?
Have them miss every other note.

How can you make a trombone sound like a french horn?
Stick your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

What is the difference between a french horn section and a '57 Chevy?
You can tune a '57 Chevy.

Why is the French horn a divine instrument?
Because a man blows in it, but only God knows what comes out.

What do you do with a horn player that can't play?
Give him two sticks, put him in the back, and call him a percussionist.

What do you do if he can't do that?
Take away one of the sticks, put him up front, and call him a conductor.

There must be some more good ones somewhere...I'll let you know when I find them.
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
tonyteech
post May 23 2006, 06:52 PM
Post #4


Unregistered

Yes it is the frills one

Conductor joke with punchline "bucks up the feet" involving Odour Eaters

Definition of an optimist - viola player with a mobile
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
maggiemay
post May 23 2006, 06:57 PM
Post #5


Unregistered
and the one about the difference between a bull and an orchestra

(the bull has the horns at the front and the ### at the back ...!)
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
bobifier
post May 23 2006, 07:00 PM
Post #6


Unregistered
http://www.mit.edu/~jcb/jokes/viola.html
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Boo Radley
post May 23 2006, 09:48 PM
Post #7


Unregistered
QUOTE(bobifier @ May 23 2006, 08:00 PM) *

http://www.mit.edu/~jcb/jokes/viola.html

Wonderful, (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif) except why is the viola the only instrument with it's own page? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/mad.gif) I liked the violin ones more.

Eg. Why are viola jokes so short?
So violinists can understand them. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/cool.gif)
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
ianfiat
post May 24 2006, 05:50 AM
Post #8


Unregistered
John Lennon was once asked if Ringo Starr was the best drummer in the world. He replied that he wasn't even the best drummer in the Beatles.
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
barry-clari
post May 24 2006, 07:44 AM
Post #9


Unregistered
I've always wondered why it is that the poor viola player has more jokes written about them than any other instrument.....

My favourite musical joke is still this one (which I know I've posted here before...)

How many clarinettists does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but they need to go through the whole box to find just the right one!

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) (laughing at my own joke, dreadful!......)
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
janexxx
post May 24 2006, 08:04 AM
Post #10


Unregistered
QUOTE(cheeble @ May 23 2006, 02:42 PM) *

I know a French horn joke, but its a bit too rude to post on here!


Me too, mine involves embouchures and dating!

How many second violinists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they can't get high enough!
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
pianist_1210
post May 24 2006, 08:08 AM
Post #11


Unregistered
QUOTE(Boo Radley @ May 23 2006, 09:48 PM) *



Eg. Why are viola jokes so short?
So violinists can understand them. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/cool.gif)

Oh my goodness, that's so racist to violist!! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/mad.gif)
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Helen
post May 24 2006, 08:28 AM
Post #12


Unregistered
QUOTE(pianist_1210 @ May 24 2006, 09:08 AM) *

QUOTE(Boo Radley @ May 23 2006, 09:48 PM) *



Eg. Why are viola jokes so short?
So violinists can understand them. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/cool.gif)

Oh my goodness, that's so racist to violist!! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/mad.gif)

How's it racist? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blink.gif) The joke doesn't refer to any race of viola or violin players.... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blink.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blink.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blink.gif)
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
izzy
post May 24 2006, 09:12 AM
Post #13


Unregistered
why are jokes about violinsits so short?

so percussionists can remember them.

whats that difference between violinists and dogs??

a dog knows when to stop scratching.
to be honest all instrumentalists think their instrument is superior....................!!!!!!!!!!!
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
pianist_1210
post May 24 2006, 09:24 AM
Post #14


Unregistered
QUOTE(Helen @ May 24 2006, 08:28 AM) *

QUOTE(pianist_1210 @ May 24 2006, 09:08 AM) *

QUOTE(Boo Radley @ May 23 2006, 09:48 PM) *



Eg. Why are viola jokes so short?
So violinists can understand them. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/cool.gif)

Oh my goodness, that's so racist to violist!! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/mad.gif)

How's it racist? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blink.gif) The joke doesn't refer to any race of viola or violin players.... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blink.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blink.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blink.gif)

well...I mean....*gosh...can't think of a word.....*
anyway, you know what I mean... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
janexxx
post May 24 2006, 09:27 AM
Post #15


Unregistered
QUOTE(pianist_1210 @ May 24 2006, 10:24 AM) *

QUOTE(Helen @ May 24 2006, 08:28 AM) *

QUOTE(pianist_1210 @ May 24 2006, 09:08 AM) *

QUOTE(Boo Radley @ May 23 2006, 09:48 PM) *



Eg. Why are viola jokes so short?
So violinists can understand them. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/cool.gif)

Oh my goodness, that's so racist to violist!! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/mad.gif)

How's it racist? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blink.gif) The joke doesn't refer to any race of viola or violin players.... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blink.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blink.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blink.gif)

well...I mean....*gosh...can't think of a word.....*
anyway, you know what I mean... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)


Denigrating??

I think that's the point of the joke. It's Violists getting their own back on violinists for all the viola jokes (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

Like this one:
Why are violas bigger than violins?

They're not, it's an optical illusion caused by violinist's heads being bigger!
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
« Next Oldest · Forums Cafe · Next Newest »
 

2 Pages V  1 2 >
Reply to this topicStart new topic

 

Display Mode: Standard · Switch to: Linear+ · Switch to: Outline

Track this topic · Email this topic · Print this topic · Subscribe to this forum

Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 20th June 2013 - 06:49 AM