Why Won't Teacher Enter Child For Exam? Options

[shimmer]

Don't forget to take into consideration what your step-daughter thinks. Does she really enjoy playing? How well do she get on with you? She may feel hurt or angry if you take charge of her music. Don't end up ignoring what her needs are.

[rosemariem]

At the risk of sounding crass mentioning money, it might be helpful to know what you consider the price for 'a good student instrument' and what the teacher wants you to pay.

We decided when my daughter started that it was imperative that the cello had a decent sound - we wanted her to realise what a beautiful instrument it can be, and our ears not to have to suffer! We rented a very good half size for £26 per month but quickly realised that this was no investment, so bought it for £700 (it would have been £850 new). I've just put in the paper for £499. We've saved money over renting and it should hold its value for the next purchaser.

We've now bought a second hand three quarter size for £1250 (extra for bow) which is a hugh amount of money, but we should be able to sell it for a similar amount, or trade it in, when she outgrows it. The beauty of the tone has inspired my daughter. She got so attached to her first cello I was worried she would grieve when it came to move on, but from the first bow stroke of the new one, 'Sparkle' was never played again. I don't know what your price expectations are but the point is that if you buy carefully second-hand, the cello should not lose value.

My daughter's cello teacher recommended various shops for the three quarter size and made us promise not to buy one without her seeing it first. They will usually let you have it for a week or so on trial. Her teacher is helping us sell the half size with no question of any commission - she wouldn't dream of it.

I hope this is helpful.

[frumpybabes]

what is the make of your daughters cello? My son will need a new cello soon. His teacher has also said it must be a very good cello, not student anymore !!! so out go those cheap ones. He has suggested that I loan one from Benslow Music.

[rosemariem]

I've emailed you frumpybabes, but would say it makes sense to buy rather than rent as with a second hand cello you should be able to sell it on after a couple of years for what you paid for it.

[sarah-flute]

I think the kind of instruments the loan out at Benslow are beyond the reach of most people to actually buy!

[stevensfo]

Jenny,

I just read your question and don't have time to read all the replies - though knowing the people who post- they no doubt contain excellent advice.

The ABRSM exams are open to everyone. You are not obliged to go via your music teacher.

We're not talking nuclear physics here. It's not quadratic equations. If the girl can play the set pieces, can cope with the theory and WANTS to do it, just enter her.

Steve

[jennysimsveale]

Hi there,

I thought I should post to let you know the outcome of the original enquiry. my stepdaughter passed her grade 2 Cello exam with 117 points (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) We are all very pleased and think this may give her the motivation to continue and encourage a little more enthusiasm, but we will see.

I am still very disspointed in her teacher who told he for months before the exam she should be doing grade 3 and would get a distinction. The end result was a result of a lot of hard practice on her part, 117 did not come easily.

We will be holding fire on the new cello the teacher suggested she needs to see how she gets on in the near future. Upwards of £500 is a lot to spend on a child who is still not enthusiastic or confident? enough to pick up a book and try new fun (grade 1 - 2 standard) pieces without encouragement and who needs reminding before she practices.


Jenny

[AnotherPianist]

Well done to her and thanks for letting us know the outcome (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif).

[chopsticks]

I am glad things worked out but can I just say one thing, I think it is very dodgy stepmothers or stepfathers doing the negotiation. I am separated myself and have a good relationship with my ex with regards to the children but am not at all sure how I would react to a his new partner being involved with our children. I would be affronted to say the least, incandescent springs to mind. As although great if she has a good relationship with the kids she is not my children's mother full stop. Dad setting things up or involving the children great, dad at parent/teacher meetings wonderful. But policy decisions, or discussions with teachers... that is original parents territory...I am afraid the idea of Stepmum elbowing in, and I am sorry if this seems intolerant, I would not be happy bunny......

Advice offered fine, probably would ask for her help if she is an expert...fine. Dad going to teacher to check progress fine, stepmum being involved without invitation and I would find unacceptable. By invitation I mean by both parents. Stepmother approaching children's teacher behind back... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, father going on his own fine his perogative. All of ex's girlfriends have always been pleasant people but the idea of them being involved in policy ....

It is terribly important to have a good working relationship when you separate for the kids and it is important to recognize territory.

[jod]

Hi there,

I thought I should post to let you know the outcome of the original enquiry. my stepdaughter passed her grade 2 Cello exam with 117 points (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) We are all very pleased and think this may give her the motivation to continue and encourage a little more enthusiasm, but we will see.

I am still very disspointed in her teacher who told he for months before the exam she should be doing grade 3 and would get a distinction. The end result was a result of a lot of hard practice on her part, 117 did not come easily.

We will be holding fire on the new cello the teacher suggested she needs to see how she gets on in the near future. Upwards of £500 is a lot to spend on a child who is still not enthusiastic or confident? enough to pick up a book and try new fun (grade 1 - 2 standard) pieces without encouragement and who needs reminding before she practices.


Jenny

I wouldn't be too hard on the teacher. 117 at Grade two for a first exam is a good result. Unfortunately musical instruments are expensive, but it is important to get it right, it will be much more satisfying for your stepdaughter.

The decision over when and which examination to enter pupils for is a difficult one. As some one who scraped her Grade3 Piano with 100, and failed Grade 6 at the first attempt, I do not let my students go on an examination treadmill. They are entered for the exam that is right for them at the right time, and not before. However, this decision is always made with all the parties involved, which may be difficult in a step-relationship. As the daughter of divorced parents, I know just how awkward this can be.

Just be happy for your step daughter, this will help your relationship with her immensly. But it sounds like you are the type of caring stepmother who is doing this already