Preparing to perform, What goes through your mind? Options

[liseypeasy]

One of the things which struck me about the piano category final for Young Musician of the Year, was how many said their aim was to enjoy themselves, which I think is a pretty sensible thought. Unfortunately, I tend to forget about the having fun bit!

My thoughts:-
"Which bit will I screw up this time?"
"What happens if I grind to a halt?"
"What if that top (any high note) doesn't come out?" (only applies to flute)
"What have I let myself in for?"
"Why do I do this?"

Sadly, I never ever think about having fun. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ill.gif)

But do you usually end up having fun? My thought prior to playing is usually - oh blimey - people, staring. From an early age (not that I've particularly performed much) I've always been alarmed at how fierce an audience can look, probably when they don't even mean to. I've also found that having confident thoughts beforehand is counter-beneficial, so contrarily feel more relaxed with that sickly feeling.

[Misterioso]

[quote name='liseypeasy' date='Apr 16 2012, 09:46 PM' post='1142704']
Sadly, I never ever think about having fun. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ill.gif)
[/quote]

But do you usually end up having fun? My thought prior to playing is usually - oh blimey - people, staring. From an early age (not that I've particularly performed much) I've always been alarmed at how fierce an audience can look, probably when they don't even mean to. I've also found that having confident thoughts beforehand is counter-beneficial, so contrarily feel more relaxed with that sickly feeling.
[/quote]
Actually, no, I don't usually end up having fun. Just occasionally (as in my G6 flute exam last year) I did have a kind of euphoric feeling during one of my pieces, because the flute and piano together sounded really good (at least, I thought so!) But it only lasted a fleeting few seconds, quickly replaced by "this is the tricky bit coming up; I mustn't screw up".

I know what you mean about an audience looking fierce. When I stand up to deliver a sermon at church (as a Lay Reader) looking at the audience is always alarming at the beginning, until I get into my stride and remember that most of the people there are "on my side", and won't judge me. It took me a very long time to get past the stage of feeling sheer dread as we drove to church, to the stage where instead I feel very nervous anticipation. (Long time in this case meant about 5 years!)

I play in a flute group with a few other flautists, and sometimes get to the point of enjoying it, but fairly often feel stressed by trying to keep up with them, since they are all more advanced than me. When I inevitably screw up, I feel that I am letting them down, and although they are very understanding, and just glad to have me there to (mostly) complete the harmony in a quartet, it doesn't dispel the feelings of inadequacy and incompetence.

[corenfa]

...
But do you usually end up having fun? My thought prior to playing is usually - oh blimey - people, staring. From an early age (not that I've particularly performed much) I've always been alarmed at how fierce an audience can look, probably when they don't even mean to. I've also found that having confident thoughts beforehand is counter-beneficial, so contrarily feel more relaxed with that sickly feeling.

I do usually end up having fun - I used to feel that way about the people staring and fierce audience, but I know now that most people in an audience are sympathetic to the performer and if I happened to meet a nasty audience member it would likely be because they are a random nutter.

The fun comes from being able to deliver my own interpretation of a piece, and if I am playing with someone else (eg. accompanying) knowing that I have been able to support them in delivering their own interpretation of it. Err, I hope.

[Lemontree]

Funnily, though, I never have the feeling "I can't do it". But I am afraid, of making a mistake at the weakest point in the piece (which never happens since I obviously focus all my attention to getting that point right). What happens, however, is, that I never seem to be able to remember the melody of the piece I am about to play, even though I have practiced it for months, and I am desperatly trying to remember it just before I start. And when I finally see the notes and realized how the first notes will have to sound, I just start, and then, everything is music and giving my best.