Cambridge Options

[BBTOTW]

Some of you might know that I applied to Cambridge last week because my parents bullied me into it. I thought that if I applied and did get offered a place, I could always reject it so it wasn't such a huge deal. But now I'm worried about the interviews because I'll have grade 8 flute on the same week... I don't want to do the interview half-heartedly, but to me my flute exam is far more important because I don't really want to go to Cambridge anyway. I know that you have to do a lot of background reading etc in preparation for the interviews, but I simply don't have the time while doing all the other things I had planned to do before I decided to apply. I realise that I can't do both without dying of stress, but I don't know how to comprimise (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sad.gif) I also have grade 8 Speech and Drama the week before... I could easily withdraw my application, and I have thought about it, but if I do that my parents will have a go at me and I don't want to cause unnecessary trouble...
I'm really sorry for being so miserable, but I can't really talk to my parents about this because all they want is for me to get into Cambridge... Does anyone have any ideas on what to do?

[benson]

why is it that your parents want you to go to cambridge above wherever you want to go? you've probably heard this before, but, ultimately, it is your life and future that is being decided. if your flute is very important to you (duh... that was a silly "if") then you will be happier afterwards if you do your best in that rather than compromise it. life is also too short to aspire to much other than happiness, so what would make you happy? if you don't really want to go to cambridge then giving everything up for that interview will perhaps leave you feeling fulfilled, but not in the area you want to be. why don't you want to go to cambridge?

[cheeble]

Why not do the interview anyway? It'll keep your parents happy... and if, as you say, you don't actually care about getting into Cambridge, then you have no reason to get stressed about the interview. If you really don't want to go, then don't bother doing the background reading. Why would you if you're not bothered?!

In any case, Cambridge fellows are usually quite good at spotting whether or not somebody actually wants to go to Cambridge or not. They're also good at spotting whether said person would enjoy/fit in with Cambridge life. If you don't show a passion in your interview for your subject and/or the Cambridge course, then it's unlikely you'll be offered a place. All the people I know here are completely nutty about their subjects (even the physicists! in fact, ESPECIALLY the physicists!!)

If you think the interview will stress you out, or if (like me) you're one of those people who can't bear the idea of a rejection, then withdraw your application. But to be honest, I think you've got nothing to lose from going to it. It'll be good practice for interviews for other places too.

[Sorry if this sounds touchy. Being at Cambridge myself I tend to get rather protective of it... it's worse when there are Oxford types around! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) ]

[BBTOTW]

The reason I don't want to go to Cambrdge is that I don't think I'd like the competitive atmosphere. Up till now I've always been one of the cleverer ones at school, and I've worked hard to keep it that way. But I think that if I suddenly was average or below, I wouldn't try because I'll know I won't be able to be the top however hard I try... Also I don't think I'm mature enough to be leaving home yet, I know that sounds really pathetic but I'm not sure if I'll cope with being away from home as well as working incredibly hard...

[cheeble]

University is ALWAYS a competitive atmosphere. It doesn't matter where you go, there will always be some element of competition, and there will always be someone cleverer than you wherever you are. (I know, how would I know? Well, my dad's an academic and I've experienced quite a lot of other places... and I do have friends at other unis too!!)

Cambridge, as with all universities, is what you make it. True, there are times here when I've felt disillusioned (I was always one of the cleverer ones at school too, and now I'm in the bottom ten people in my year in my faculty). However, Cambridge is especially good for getting people to realise what else they are good at.

For instance, I discovered when I came here that I am absolutely brilliant at: making tea, organising football practice, conducting rubbish choirs (haven't been allowed a chance at the good ones yet!! lol), irritating my supervisors, sucking up to people in major companies persuading them to give the boat club money, being nice to first-years, filling out forms and getting ill. I've also discovered that I am mediocre at most aspects of academic music, but I'm still passionate about it. I've discovered that I'm really bad at: football, dancing, singing quietly, "composing in a late 19th century tonal idiom", musical analysis, handing work in on time, cooking, washing up. However, I still really enjoy them all! Hurrah!

As to being away from home, it's scary for a lot of people. My two neighbours come from an awfully long way away and they're coping fine. I didn't really want to leave home either, but I'm so glad I did: it makes one appreciate home more, and also makes one glad to be away from the kind of pressure that parents can put on you!

But anyway it's your decision. Good luck.

[Barry Thain]

If I was your dad I'd say this.

"Stop worrying about the Cambridge interview immediately. Go there and be yourself. They're not interested in anyone you can pretend to be for a few hours and not so stupid as to be incapable of seeing through it. After all, you won't be able to maintain the pretence for three years.

"Go there and be yourself. If you are who they want, that's fine. If you're not it doesn't make you a bad person. It just means they're lookiing for someone else, in which case find the university that's looking for you."

But I'd also say, if I was your dad.

"If I've bullied you into this, I'm sorry. Don't go because of me and, if you don't want to, don't go at all."

barry

Some of you might know that I applied to Cambridge last week because my parents bullied me into it. I thought that if I applied and did get offered a place, I could always reject it so it wasn't such a huge deal. But now I'm worried about the interviews because I'll have grade 8 flute on the same week... I don't want to do the interview half-heartedly, but to me my flute exam is far more important because I don't really want to go to Cambridge anyway. I know that you have to do a lot of background reading etc in preparation for the interviews, but I simply don't have the time while doing all the other things I had planned to do before I decided to apply. I realise that I can't do both without dying of stress, but I don't know how to comprimise (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sad.gif) I also have grade 8 Speech and Drama the week before... I could easily withdraw my application, and I have thought about it, but if I do that my parents will have a go at me and I don't want to cause unnecessary trouble...
I'm really sorry for being so miserable, but I can't really talk to my parents about this because all they want is for me to get into Cambridge... Does anyone have any ideas on what to do?

[BerkshireMum]

Looking at your list of universities, I think you are going to find them all competitive. Many people don't apply to Oxbridge on principle, and then end up at places like Imperial or Warwick, both of which have a fantastic reputation for Maths. What these universities don't have is the chance to spend every year of your course in uni accommodation with cheap catered food close at hand. If you're worried about coping away from home, Cambridge is going to be much easier than other unis. It's really easy to make friends in a college environment, and the pastoral care is excellent.

However, if you really don't want to go to Cambridge, I'd say pull out now and make the odds slightly better for the 1000+ other mathematicians who're keen to get in. It has to be your choice, not your parents'.

[chocolatedog]

The reason I don't want to go to Cambrdge is that I don't think I'd like the competitive atmosphere. Up till now I've always been one of the cleverer ones at school, and I've worked hard to keep it that way. But I think that if I suddenly was average or below, I wouldn't try because I'll know I won't be able to be the top however hard I try... Also I don't think I'm mature enough to be leaving home yet, I know that sounds really pathetic but I'm not sure if I'll cope with being away from home as well as working incredibly hard...

I was always the top in my class in primary school. Then when I got to secondary, I wasn't so I worked harder and from 3rd year up I was again in the top 3 in the class and got straight As at O and A level.......then when I got to Cambridge, I wasn't brilliant again......so I worked hard, and yes, it was a bit disheartening at first, but I had to learn a slightly different approach, and by the 3rd year, although I didn't get a 1st, I was viva'd for one (and just missed) but I did get one of the university music prizes.........but I enjoyed it, and that was the main thing - not whether or not I was the best......what I'm saying is that you needn't curl up in a corner just because you find there are those who might be better than you at your subject.......you can still enjoy the work and the social life and just the atmosphere of the university generally. I loved the sense of history of the place - walking through buildings that thousands of scholars had walked through for the past hundreds of years........


But it's your choice in the end. I'm not trying to sway you either way, just throwing in my own experiences. And in any case, if you do music, you can to some extent choose which lecture courses you attend on the music history side of things (I always went for the early music options) - so you're not really competing against the whole year as other people choose different options anyway....(cheebie correct me if I'm wrong!) but I seem to remember a few history options.......

[nicki_flute]

I was in the same situation!

Cambridge interview - 4th December, grade 8 - 8th December!

Um. I'm sorry, I seem to have lost my words, I can't think what to say.

Random thoughts:
* Go where you want to - it is key that you are happy
* Do speak to your parents about pressure
* I didn't really do any background reading for my Cambridge interview, I guess it depends what form it takes. Which college?

[BBTOTW]

I was in the same situation!

Cambridge interview - 4th December, grade 8 - 8th December!

Um. I'm sorry, I seem to have lost my words, I can't think what to say.

Random thoughts:
* Go where you want to - it is key that you are happy
* Do speak to your parents about pressure
* I didn't really do any background reading for my Cambridge interview, I guess it depends what form it takes. Which college?

It's Robinson College (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) I rang them up today and they said that I could have a date that suited me best in the 2 weeks, but it's still the same really...
There's 3 interviews and a test, so I don't wantto be totally unprepared but don't really have the time for much extra stuff (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sad.gif)

[sarah-flute]

In any case, Cambridge fellows are usually quite good at spotting whether or not somebody actually wants to go to Cambridge or not. They're also good at spotting whether said person would enjoy/fit in with Cambridge life.

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/agree.gif)

I was thoroughly disillusioned, by the time I got to the interview, about Cambridge/the college I had applied to/the people who were applying for the same course (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wacko.gif). And it showed. And they didn't give me a place. BUT it was a good experience and I also came away knowing it wasn't "for me" which means I've never thought "if only" or "I wonder if..." So for me, at least, it was very much a good thing that I went to interview.

(The thing that put me off most was the people who said stuff like "suppose they offered you a place at one of the all-girls' colleges, you'd have to accept because it's, like, Cambridge!" - to which my natural response was "erm, no..." (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif))

If you're willing to go and see, and just see what happens, then go for it, it's an experience, and it'll certainly give you a good picture of whether you actually want to go - and will lay to rest any nagging "what if?" doubts in the future.

But your flute exam is clearly more important to you, so spend as much time as you need preparing for that. If you have time over, once flute practice is beyond the critical mass stage (ie you're not going to manage any more that day, so you have time to spare, as it were) then spend some of that time prepping. But don't neglect your flute for an interview you don't think you care about, that would be a shame.

[parent_l]

You should never do something you absolutely don't want, but nor should you dismiss something that might be wonderful. Give Cambridge a chance.

You only really have one shot at Cambridge interviews - you can do your flute exam next term (or any term) . Is it worth postponing it so that you can enjoy and make the most of both things ?

[BBTOTW]

It's not really an option to postpone - I've already been entered, and doing the same pieces for another term would just kill them. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sad.gif)
Thank you everyone for your replies. I have 2 weeks' half term from next week so hopefully I'll catch up with everything and do extra things during the holiday...
(IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

[Wobby]

As has already been said, there's no harm in giving it a go anyway. You could just focus your time on flute, not put much preparation into the interview, and take it - if you don't get an offer, you never wanted one anyway, whilst getting decent training for other interviews; if you do, you can take time to contemplate whether you may change your mind to accept the place. Are you preparing for interviews at other Universities anyway? If so, you can get a bit of a head start - if you are applying now, the offers are going to be coming in soon anyway. If not, you wouldn't really be doing the interview 'half-heartedly' - you'd be doing exactly the same as your other interviews.


Besides, I think that they look for potential rather than the most well taught - i.e. you can expect people coming from certain schools offering Maths, Further Maths, Further Further Maths and Further Further Further Maths - but really that's not important. What's more important is probably to be able to grasp new concepts and how to apply them, and your levels of logic, etc. Of course, a bit of extra curricular reading around your subject never goes amiss, but it's not completely necessary if you really are particularly suited to your course. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

~Wobby~

[LooneyTunes]

It's worth giving Cambridge a go - you might regret it later if you don't. Robinson has a reputation as one of the friendlier colleges with a better all-round mix of people.

If you don't want to detract from your grade 8 studies, I'd go as you are and be yourself. You may find that being relaxed about whether or not you get in counts in your favour and allows you to be more spontaneous in your replies. Besides, interview practice is always useful. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)