Can I Accompany My Daughter For Her Singing Exam?, Teacher wants me to use accompanist. Options

[musicposy]

Hi there, I have a big dilemma which I would really appreciate views on.

I am a piano teacher with two daughters, one of whom takes singing lessons. She is taking a singing exam at the end of April. Money is extremely tight - hubby is not a high earner, and the piano teaching, though relatively lucrative, just pays our mortgage and not much else. The girls also dance a lot and ice skate. Recently I've been thinking that something has got to give - hubby and I spend virtually nothing on ourselves and we never take holidays abroad etc. but we are still amassing debts.

Over the last month or two I have spent over £200 on exam fees alone - they've both done piano exams (I teach them so that's one expense less), daughter's singing, also doing ballet, tap and music theory all in the space of three months. So things are looking very tight.

Now singing teacher wants me to phone the accompanist at £20 for a run through and £25 for the exam. I said I would do it myself (I am more than capable!). She said no, it wasn't ethical for me to do it and her accompanist is very good (she is, I've heard her with other pupils) and experienced at accompanying exams which I'm not. But the bottom line is, I can't afford to pay out that sort of money for something I can easily do myself for free. Daughter loves the singing lessons but I am finding it such a struggle to finance them and this has a bit of a "last straw" kind of feeling for me.

I could insist but I suspect I am going to fall out with singing teacher. Daughter seems happy either way. She says she thinks she might be more nervous with me, but on the other hand we can have lots of run throughs instead of just one.

Any advice or opinions welcomed! I don't care if you disagree with me - I would just like to know what others think.

[Rosemary7391]

I think that if you can't afford it then there isn't much choice really.. I would always go for accompaniment from someone I know well and can have lots of rehearsals with than some accompanist who I don't know and with only one short rehearsal. Why wouldn't it be ethical for you to accompany your daughter? I can't see it taking anything away from this other accompanist apart from your fee, which you can't afford anyway. I also don't see why the singing teacher would fall out with you over this.

[katyjay]

I don't see anything unethical in you accompanying your daughter.

I see it as a very practical solution.


Best of luck to both of you.

[margaret]

Hi musicposy (Nice name)

I have accompanied both my children in all their cello and violin exams up to and including grade 8 and diploma. Although I always feel more nervous than when I accompany other pupils it has one huge advantage (well two if you count the financial savings) we can practise together whenever we want. It is also a really nice family thing to do. My children both learned violin and cello with other teachers who used regular accompanists but it was never a problem for them.

This really should not be a problem for your singing teacher - as you say you are more than capable! If I were you I would insist.

My children have also accompanied me when I took my cello exams and one acted as my "soloist" when I took my accompanying diploma! It all adds to the family memories. I say go for it!!!

[boogiecat]

I don't see how ethics come in to this at all. The best possible scenario with an accompanist is for it to be someone you can have lots of rehearsal with, get on with and are comfortable with, course this will be mum!

[Dulciana]

If you suggest a run-through during your daughter's lesson, that that would dispel any fears her teacher might have about whether you're up to it. If things go well, and she still objects, then the only possible explanation that I can think of is that her singing teacher gets some sort of commission for referring people to the accompanist!

[Clari Nicki1]

My father accompanied ALL my clarinet exams as a child (and recorder exams). He accompanied all of my daughter's flute exams until he died in August (he accompanied her Gr 4 flute in June). Her flute teacher has an accompanist she uses, but I said I wanted to use my Dad. He had to come to a lesson before. The flute teacher was very impressed with him and said the arrangement was better as my dad could accompany her more at home!!!! My Dad was a very fine pianist (he was a concert pianist in his 20's).
This session, I still didn't use the teacher's accompanist... I used a friend who is a piano teacher (she's actually my pupils' accompanist). She had to come to 2 lessons... but the teacher still said it's a better arrangement as they practised more outside of lessons.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with accompanying your daughter. I really appreciated him accompanying me as a child. He practised with me at home. It was lovely going into an exam with him with me. He was an excellent pianist and used to accompany my friends too. I have quite fond memories of doing exams with him. He never appeared nervous (for me or him). He was always calm and sensible. If you aren't worried about playing, insist.... There is nothing unethical about it...it is a lovely thing to do.

[musicposy]

If you suggest a run-through during your daughter's lesson, that that would dispel any fears her teacher might have about whether you're up to it. If things go well, and she still objects, then the only possible explanation that I can think of is that her singing teacher gets some sort of commission for referring people to the accompanist!

Well, I think you might be getting to the crux of it here. I knew this teacher in a professional capacity before my daughter started singing with her and she did let slip to me that the £25 fee on the day is split between her and the accompanist, so that she gets reimbursement for being there for the day too. She doesn't let this on to the parents, just says it's £25 for the accompanist (they pay her, not the accompanist). I think this is a bit much - I always accompany my pupils to exams and I have never once charged for it.

Also I think the accompanist is there for the whole day anyway - sort of organised by the singing teacher - and will be twiddling her thumbs while dd does her exam if I accompany.

I don't know if any of this sheds further light on the situation!

I think what others have said about family memories is nice, and I think I will suggest that we run through next lesson and see what happens.

[Lucid]

Not that I'm wanting to cause a conflict here but £25 just for the exam sounds like a lot to me. Which grade is it and would the accompanist be travelling a long way to get to it? Is the accompanist already going to be there accompanying some of the teacher's other students? For grade 1 I charge £26 which covers a 1 hour rehearsal and attending the exam - my hourly rate is £20.50. The amount of time the accompanist is in the exams is very short.

Anyway if you want to accompany your daughter then you should be able to with the teacher's support. You are the one paying the money and your daughter would probably prefer you to play for her too. You can rehearse as much as you want at home and build up a really good relationship in the performance. I would be inclined to go against the teacher's wishes and accompany - you'd hope she wouldn't fall out with you over it.

Good luck. Lucid (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

EDIT: After seeing musicposy's post below.

Well, I think you might be getting to the crux of it here. I knew this teacher in a professional capacity before my daughter started singing with her and she did let slip to me that the £25 fee on the day is split between her and the accompanist, so that she gets reimbursement for being there for the day too. She doesn't let this on to the parents, just says it's £25 for the accompanist (they pay her, not the accompanist). I think this is a bit much - I always accompany my pupils to exams and I have never once charged for it.

Also I think the accompanist is there for the whole day anyway - sort of organised by the singing teacher - and will be twiddling her thumbs while dd does her exam if I accompany.

I don't know if any of this sheds further light on the situation!

I think what others have said about family memories is nice, and I think I will suggest that we run through next lesson and see what happens.

I think that is absolutely unfair of the teacher to charge for her being there. It's nice for teachers to be there for support but I've never heard anything like charging for the service. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ohmy.gif) If she feels that she can't afford to be there without being paid then I feel that she shouldn't go along. £12.50 for sitting in the waiting room while someone does a 15 minute exam is ludicrous! Sorry - I'm really not trying to cause trouble for your teacher but I really don't agree with it.

If it was me I would be brave and say that I will be accompanying my daughter and it's very nice for her (the teacher) to be attending the exam but I don't feel it's necessary so won't be requiring her service - therefore not paying for it. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif)

I don't think I'm alone in saying that whenever it's my own students I don't charge them and as I accompany them I'm always at the exam anyway. But if I wasn't accompanying them and their exam fell at a time when I would be working, I wouldn't be able to go. Even when it's not my own students I wait until they finish the exam so that I can see how they do - but I don't charge any extra for this.

Lucid (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

[soccermom]

[/quote]


Also I think the accompanist is there for the whole day anyway - sort of organised by the singing teacher - and will be twiddling her thumbs while dd does her exam if I accompany.

[/quote]

At the music school where my chidren have lessons (and exams) an accompanist is booked for as much of the day as is needed, and paid by the school. Most children use the accompanist, including my older daughter for violin exams, but my younger daughter's cello teacher accompanies her own pupils up to Grade 5. and others are acoompanied by teachers, parents, friends etc. There is no compulsion.

Those who don't need her (either because they they have their own or because they're playing the piano or other instrument that doesn't need on) either go first thing in the morning, or when the accompanist has gone. I do think if there is an accompanist booked for the whole session, it is reasonable to be flexible on the timing of your daughter's exam - so that the accompanist's time isn't wasted. )

I agree that £25 sounds like a lot - though obviously it would depend on the grade. I can't remember how much I normally pay, as I pay it at the same time as the exam entry fee, but I think it starts at £6 for grade 1. That doesn't include a run-through in advance of the exam, except for just before the exam (while the candidate before is doing scales, sight-reading & aural etc)

[JohnS]

As everyone else has said: insist that you play for your daughter. My son hasn't done any exams yet (he's only seven), but when he does I'll make sure that I play for him -he won't be so comfortable with a stranger and exams can be a little nerve wracking anyway.

I've played for lots of exams and sometimes it's been for a friend. Often I spot an accompanist sitting around while I go in with one of a teacher's pupils and he might do all the others. No problem! It could be in the near future that people start asking you to accompany them for exams.

It sounds unethical for your teacher to take a cut in the accompanying fee to me. Perhaps she is more interested in the money than your daughter's welfare?

There is no option. It's not just about saving money, it's about enjoying life together. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

[hello_cello]

I bet she gets commission from the accompanist, so thats why she probably wants you to do it.

Don't pay for someone if you can do it just as well.

[AnnC]

Our accompanist charges £25 regardless of grade, which covers the rehearsal and the exam. He makes two journeys of a round trip of 52 miles to do this. All the students/parents think this is reasonnable, especially as they say he makes them feel so relaxed and supported. However, if anyone wanted to supply their own accompanist, neither he nor I would object, unless, of course, the pianist were so bad that it would jeopardise the outcome of the exam.
I have to cancel stdents on the day of the rehearsal, and the day of the exam as I have a special visit, so the fee loss runs to over £200, but I don't charge exam candidates for this time. All part of the service.
I think you should insist on accompanying your daughter. I don't see how ethics come into it.

[violincjj]

One thing you might need to consider here is if the teacher has entered several candidates and your daughter's exam falls in the middle, if the accompanist is not required then they would still expect to be paid as they still have to be there. Obviously if the accompanist has to accompany candidates either side of your daughter, then they are still going to require payment so the teacher has to cover it in some way. I don't think there is anything unethical about you accompanying, but I can see the predicament if there are other candidates.

David

But whoever enters the candidates can change the order they have their exams and let the steward know on the day, so the OP's daughter can be placed at the beginning or end of the block of exams.

I <do> charge my students a lesson fee to attend and accompany them in exams. No-one objects! They are getting a bargain since an accompanist alone would cost more than that.

I accompany my own kids for exams too sometimes and that's fun. I don't if the music is too hard for me!

[StuMac]

My teacher accompanied her son doing grade 8 violin - I think she found it more nerve wracking than doing the exam herself!