How do you manage to fit it all in? Options

[Impressionist]

For the last week or so I've not been able to do any constructive practice. I am a little frustrated. :-(

To give an example, at the moment I am burning CDs for my early years music classes, plus printing off CD inserts and labels. I have baked four trays of shortbread as one of my children has a fund raising day at school, I have to see child 2's teacher after school about maths, then parents evening at child 1's school tonight. In between this I also have to sort out the washing, meals, general tidying (and I would say my house generally resembles the site of a small, but pretty nasty nuclear explosion) and keeping things ticking over at home.

I have lesson plans for next year to sort out, confirmations for the new term to send out, banking and other financial stuff to finalise as well as the dreaded tax return for January!

On top of that I've got two fairly large commissions for music production for other early years groups of which one is needed end of year/early next year and the other by March.

And I've not even thought about Christmas shopping yet.

How do you get any practice done? I need to spend around 2 hours a day to achieve my goal of grade 8 by the summer, or at least by the end of next year (which I really want to do so that I can change career direction away from the under five classes and return to private teaching). I just can't see it happening. Or perhaps it's just a difficult time of year?

[Maizie]

How do you get any practice done? I need to spend around 2 hours a day to achieve my goal of grade 8 by the summer, or at least by the end of next year (which I really want to do so that I can change career direction away from the under five classes and return to private teaching). I just can't see it happening. Or perhaps it's just a difficult time of year?

Well, it is a difficult time of the year, especially for anyone who is involved in teaching and end of term concerts and all that stuff on top of the general manic-ness that is Christmas. Other jobs also have end of year pressures - every single year we start getting pressure now to get stuff done by the end of year shutdown, not because it is desperate, but so that someone can put it down as having achieved that goal they were set in 2011 (very annoying, especially when you have to spend January 2012 putting things right, because you weren't allowed the time to do them right in the first place!) So, I do think that for an awfully large proportion of the population, this is a bad time of year.

I think one of the things that is really important though is not to set yourself 'I must do two hours'. For me, this would be an instant route to no practice! Not because I wouldn't want to, but because of finding two hours! I think you have to make use of your available time, and if that is only ten minutes today, then it is only ten minutes. Firstly, it's better than nothing; and secondly, you may find that other things can give once you make a start, and that ten minutes can be a little bit longer.

I have the advantage of saying this as someone without children, although the 'small but pretty nasty nuclear explosion' sums up my house really (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

[katemorrisviolin]

Hi there, I think I know where you are coming from and have lived through similar. It is very frustrating, if you want to be a good a parent, yet also have your own hopes and dreams as well; but the immediate needs of kids and household and job always seem to trump your long term goals when it comes to the allocation of time and energy. It can make your heart sink when you are tired and frustrated. It will get easier....maybe not for a long time, but it will. I agree with Maisie; play every day, but don't set yourself up for dissapointment by trying to find a two hour window, because for most working parents they don't exist unless you are an insomniac!
Ignore the housework as much as possible; just do the loos and kitchen worksurfaces, and buy loads of kids clothes so you can last a fortnight without doing any washing. Shop online. Don't be ashamed to ask for help, either. No-one looks back on their childhood and says to themselves, "I wish my parents had cleaned the kitchen floor more often...." . But they will remember the shortbread and the help with schoolwork. It sounds like you are doing a super job.

[TSax]

I guess I'm the opposite of Maizie. I do set myself "I must do at least X hours" tonight, and then do it. Usually it's at least an hour for at least 3 out of 5 week nights then 1-2 hours on Sunday (Saturday I do 2-3 hours of other playing). Recently I've been preparing for gigs with a good standard big band and it's gone up to at least 1.5 hours any weeknight I'm not rehearsing and 2-3 hours on Sunday. It's worked - I did myself justice in the big band and I've taken a step-up in my playing with all the extra practice. I find it's a bit like exercise, if I only do it when I feel like it then it doesn't get done. If I make the effort and start even when I don't feel like it I'm usually enjoying it after 20 minutes.

I do work full time, leave the house about 8am, get back about 7pm BUT I don't have a family to take care of, so my priority after work can be music, and if there's no food in the fridge, clean clothes to wear or the floor is vanishing under assorted stuff then it's only me who has to put up with it.

[corenfa]

It's definitely a busy time of year for people with families.

My less-flippant-than-it-sounds solution is that often, piles of dry washing stay unfolded for longer than they have to, and piles of other stuff just stay as piles. I honestly would rather play the piano than do non-essential (by which I mean non-essential to keep things hygenic) housework. Anyone's welcome to judge me for that, but I do live alone, and I have no children, and I can tolerate clutter so I am answerable only to myself. Obviously if I did have housemates or a live-in partner, this wouldn't be possible.

I'm not suggesting that anyone else adopt this approach, mind. Viewed slightly less flippantly it is a matter of priorities - I don't know what if any from your schedule could be let slip because it all looks "meaningful", but the way I do it (aside from ignoring the clutter) is not to do anything social that I am not 100% sure I want to go to. But then, I've always been an antisocial so-and-so. again I am not advocating being an antisocial so-and-so..... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ph34r.gif)

[Maizie]

I find it's a bit like exercise, if I only do it when I feel like it then it doesn't get done. If I make the effort and start even when I don't feel like it I'm usually enjoying it after 20 minutes.

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/agree.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/agree.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/agree.gif)
That's the reason why I think using 10 minutes free spaces can be good, because they can stretch out in to much longer sessions when you find it's not so terrible after all!
Just realised I didn't explain it - my problem is that if I was thinking "must do two hours" but could only find one hour, I'd end up saying "well I can't do two hours like I said I would, so I won't even try", lazy so-and-so that I am (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

[Tixylix]

10 minute spaces are easier to find than 2 hour slots. I don't have kids but I have a partner who works and I'm a student/house-person so the washing etc. is all my job and sometimes it can be tough to fit in everything, especially when essay deadlines are looming (I should really be writing one right now (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ph34r.gif)). 10 minutes here and there adds up and it also motivates you to be more focused. Print all the stuff off in a batch and then have 10mins to practice while it prints (or an hour and a half if you have a rubbish printer like mine). After my washing load finishes I spin it before I put it in the tumble dryer, spin cycle takes about 10mins. Does ironing happen in your house? If so, will some things be okay if they're just hung up - kids school clothes probably depends on what they have to wear but jumpers and polo shirts are generally fine so sayeth my mum. Do you have to write entirely new lesson plans or is it possible to re-use some bits from previous ones? Could you enlist the kids to help with doing the CD inserts and labels, Christmas cards etc. if they are old enough/can be trusted to do this? Apologies if you're already doing a lot of this, just some ideas off the top of my head.

The Open University website has some advice on time management which consists of the 4 Ds - Do it, Dump it, Delegate it or Do it less well. Christmas is a difficult time because everything is supposed to be so perfect and wonderful so you feel under pressure to make everything perfect. Do shopping online - some of my friends and relatives have Amazon.co.uk wish lists so I don't have to spend time figuring out what they might want, and Amazon and some other online shopping sites do gift-wrapping and labelling for you and you can even have it posted straight to them if that makes more sense logistically. It's not lazy, it's efficient. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

[BerkshireMum]

Ignore the housework as much as possible; just do the loos and kitchen worksurfaces, and buy loads of kids clothes so you can last a fortnight without doing any washing. Shop online. Don't be ashamed to ask for help, either. No-one looks back on their childhood and says to themselves, "I wish my parents had cleaned the kitchen floor more often...." . But they will remember the shortbread and the help with schoolwork. It sounds like you are doing a super job.

What a true and very comforting remark! They will also look back and remember you practising. My Goddaughter A sadly lost her musical mum to cancer this year, and at the memorial service there were many musical items. The thing that made A choke up was the sound of the oboeist tuning up - her mum was a keen oboeist and A said that was the sound which ran through her childhood and reminded her most of her mum.

Let's hear it for music practice and less than perfect houses! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

[Pixie*Porsche]

I don't have children but I do have 2 different businesses, music and cars to look after. Plus reading for my new course as well to do.

Everything I do gets done in 1/2hour-1hour slots as I really can't cope with doing something for very long BUT I have to see one job through before I go onto the next. This drives my partner round the bend and it's quite obvious why I can't cope with a conventional job. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ph34r.gif)

I practise piano daily, saxophone about 4 times per week, clarinet is played often but not really learning anything new or any proper practise, flute is almost never got out. Theory and composition are also taking up time.

Housework? Whats that ... Seriously, my partner and I spend a little time (about 1-2 hours) on it every week on a Sunday. In the summer we often have things to do on four cars as well.

Many hands make light work of chores. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

[Sunrise]

Let's hear it for music practice and less than perfect houses! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

Agreed!! I have got my housework down to the jobs that can be done in a few minutes before the kids leave for school..ironing monday morning, .bathroom clean one day, washing out the next, floor sweep every other day. Anything else gets done on a Sat or Sun morning and everyone mucks in.
My kids don't care about the house, they far prefer me to sit down in the evening and watch whatever with them, or help them with homework/practice. And it's right, it's those things they will remember when I'm gone, not that the floor needed mopping more regularly.... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

[Impressionist]

I did manage to get around 45 minutes of playing yesterday - although not until after 9 o'clock! Like you've all suggested I do sneak in short bursts, rather than 2 hours all at once, but find sometimes that I'm just getting to grips with something when I have to abandon it and go off to do something else.

Oh and quite agree that housework is one of things that can slide and often does. I can always find something better to do than mop the floors (but do manage to clean the bathroom at least once a week). Fortunately my husband does take on his fair share of the chores but he's got a new job and is frequently away which means the burden has shifted a little. It also means I have to help with the 12 year old's maths homework too which is not my forte (I can manage the 9 year old's!).

Roll on the end of term and Christmas and then hopefully things will ease up in the New Year.

And, yes, let's hear it for music practice and less than perfect houses!

[jod]

I don't manage to fit it all in.

When I try the one person who misses out is me and when that happens for any length of time I get sick.

So I have to prioritise and make sure I don't get lost in the process.
Then it is time to delegate and despite the protestations and complaints let the other members of the household realise that 'Mother' is not a synonym' for general-slave and dogs-body, complete dumping ground and mug.

Neither does 'I go out and earn the majority of the money we live on' coming from any 'father' equate to 'you've got it easy wifey, why complain, there's only another three baskets of Ironing after that one -and where's my dinner!'

(At this point the 'little woman at home' can probably picture herself in some nice office away from stinking bathrooms and yelling kids who yell, "I hate you" at least three times a day (this is when she is not running their taxi service) preparing reports, using her brain - or the bit that has not been turned into mush, and talking to decent people on the telephone rather than people trying to flog her double-glazing, or one or her her little dahrling's schools stating they've been pulverised in the playground...again!)

Be nice to yourself. Nobody else will be. Would your children rather have a perfect house and a mum who is falling to pieces, or have to do a few household chores and have a mum with a smile on her face? I know which mine would rather have!

[Impressionist]

So I have to prioritise and make sure I don't get lost in the process.
Then it is time to delegate and despite the protestations and complaints let the other members of the household realise that 'Mother' is not a synonym' for general-slave and dogs-body, complete dumping ground and mug.

Ah well, although I am not a "Mummy Mug" I still feel a certain amount of guilt about not doing it all - product of my upbringing where my mother did do it all (but went ever so slightly doolally in the process I fear). The kids are great, are easy and not demanding, do their share of tidying up and so on (with a bit of prompting) and husband when he is about is supportive. Some of the guilt issue comes with the fact that I enjoy practising - it's not a chore and I'd spend all day on the piano if I could - so it's like "umm, shouldn't be doing this because it's fun, and there's all sorts of other stuff which could probably be sorted out and is glaring balefully at me from a corner of the room".

I used to have 'proper' job - when I came to the UK I didn't want to continue working as a peri flute teacher so got a job in a law firm in London. I spent years commuting to the City and being grown up. Once I had the children I thought I'd return to teaching but chose to work with pre-schoolers (it fitted rather better with having little ones of my own). To be honest, I think working in London was SO easy compared with the other things I've done - you could switch off once you left the office and then there were all those lovely long hours in the evening... happy days.

[flautando]

My children are grown up now so I'm no longer rushing around taking them here and there, but I still find it difficult fitting everything in. I think as I'm getting older the days are getting shorter (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blink.gif)
I decided to make myself a timetable, to try and start getting into a routine to fit in enough practice time during the day. Up to now it is working very well and I'm getting more done than I did before.

[Lemontree]

Although I have no children, I do work 2 or so jobs. In addition to housework, financials, redecorating my home, - I wish I could buy xmas presents, but since I want a new very expensive flute, I have to make all xmas presents myself, which takes a lot of time! I am preparing to become a flute teacher one day, already teaching two flute students myself, plus studying music theory, whenever I can, and I lead a full social life (friends, family, chess club, tap dance class). I restore furniture along the way, or built it myself, do art works in preparation for exhibitions, sew the better part of my clothes myself. BUT I do practice 2 hours each day.

The only thing this is possible, that I really carefully plan my day and what to achieve. I hava a FIXED two hour window for practice. No emergencies, no appointments, no distractions. In case friends or my parents give me a call: Sorry, I am practicing, I'll call you back! This is MY time. And whatever else I need to do gets done before or after, but at precisely 10 am, I start playing. And I finally stop when the church bells outside chimes noon.

I guess, the secret is to get nothing, absolutely nothing at all, into the way for the time fixed for practice, and second to be very well organized. The latter of which I really worked hard for. I am a very chaotic person, or at least used to be.