Please Can You Help Me Work This Out? Options

[Soph15]

All through my school life, I have had problems with bullys and friendships etc. It has come to points where I have walked out of class and refusing to go in. It got worse in secondary school. I used to have confidence, but now I dont seem to have any and always put myself down. Could these bad experiences be the reason for my loss in confidence? If so how can I solve it? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/unsure.gif)

[mrbouffant]

My advice is forget about it. Get your head down, do your work and over time through not drawing attention to yourself continually the situation will ease. You will find sixth form easier than the years before that. Good luck.

[Oddball]

I'll second that.

It worked for me.

[Rosemary7391]

People seem to grow up a bit in 6th form, nowhere near as much nastiness etc.

[mrbouffant]

People seem to grow up a bit in 6th form, nowhere near as much nastiness etc.

In my day, the wasters and ne'er do wells left school at or before 'O' level so 6th form was much improved. Of course these days everyone is forced through A levels and onto uni even if they would have been hairdresser or mechanic fodder in the past, so perhaps the situation is not as clear cut...

[Oddball]

It's still a huge difference. I've moved to another school in a larger town, and everyone is really friendly. There are no wasters, and even if they were they'd leave because of the style of the work. 6th form isn't for everyone - which isn't a bad thing.

[Soph15]

By year 11 you would have thought that they would have stopped but it just seems to get worse (IMG:style_emoticons/default/unsure.gif)

I dont even know why with some of them because at one point we got on fine (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sad.gif)

[mrbouffant]

So are you going to take the advice you requested, Soph?

[Oddball]

No, year 11 is ridiculous. Give it 'til after year 11, it'll be fine.

[JudithJ]

My advice is forget about it. Get your head down, do your work and over time through not drawing attention to yourself continually the situation will ease. You will find sixth form easier than the years before that. Good luck.

Alternatively, you could do the very opposite. Find someone who can help you to find out why these people are treating you this way, and why they treat anyone this way. Find someone to help you learn that you are better than they make you feel, that you are of value, and have every right to be treated well. Then hold your head high. My guess is that if you don't sort this out now then it will follow you around for years to come.

I suggest that you don't fall between these two extremes. Choose the one that suits you best.

Have you spoken to your parents, friendly teachers, or any other sympathetic adult?

[Soph15]

So are you going to take the advice you requested, Soph?

Yes, but I have done that and dont know why they do it, the only reason they could have is that I am fat. If I wasnt they wouldnt do it would they?

[JudithJ]

Yes, but I have done that and dont know why they do it, the only reason they could have is that I am fat. If I wasnt they wouldnt do it would they?

It is more likely that being overweight is a symptom rather than a cause.

[mrbouffant]

Yes, but I have done that and dont know why they do it, the only reason they could have is that I am fat. If I wasnt they wouldnt do it would they?

It is more likely that being overweight is a symptom rather than a cause.

Or it may have absolutely nothing to do with it.

[Soph15]

Yes, but I have done that and dont know why they do it, the only reason they could have is that I am fat. If I wasnt they wouldnt do it would they?

It is more likely that being overweight is a symptom rather than a cause.

Or it may have absolutely nothing to do with it.

What is the other reason, why is it always me? If anyone in the class ever gets trouble off them it is me I dont get why they cant leave me alone and they know it bothers me.

[Rosemary7391]

Yes, but I have done that and dont know why they do it, the only reason they could have is that I am fat. If I wasnt they wouldnt do it would they?

It is more likely that being overweight is a symptom rather than a cause.

Or it may have absolutely nothing to do with it.

What is the other reason, why is it always me?

They could be jealous of you! You have probably already acheived a lot more than they ever will, and they won't like that, so they try to put you down for it. I get a fair bit of that, but the thing to do is ignore the idiots and get on with life. Don't let them get you down!