Family support, Are your family supportive or not? Options

[Minstrel]

Family are a mixed bunch here .....

.... but if I had a penny for everytime someone who thinks adults participating in music is weird starting a conversation about the latest reality television/soap/series I would be able to afford a far better violin than i have now (IMG:style_emoticons/default/huh.gif)

[Tenor Viol]

Family are a mixed bunch here .....

.... but if I had a penny for everytime someone who thinks adults participating in music is weird starting a conversation about the latest reality television/soap/series I would be able to afford a far better violin than i have now (IMG:style_emoticons/default/huh.gif)

I get this at work. IT is a generally male domain (about 80%). Almost all of my colleagues are graduates, some with Ph.Ds. Some of them are musicians - in bands playing guitar etc. Never been able to get any to support a concert of any description, even when it's on their doorstep.

[corenfa]

When I think about it, I'm actually OK with not receiving any overt support (from family or otherwise) as long as I don't get any flak about it. There are so many bits of pop culture that I just don't participate in already, I gave up feeling anything about that long ago. I simply choose not to talk about it now unless someone asks directly. Anyone who wishes to think I am a snob for liking and participating in classical music is welcome to do so, I simply could not care less. That probably does make me a snob (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

[Tenor Viol]

To be fair, they tend not to be against, but they are generally sports focused - either season ticket holders for pig-bladder kickers, or some golfers, or serious cyclists. A few have horses - so they're always 'showing' or at show jumping competitions (kids and adults in a couple of cases). There's a few cricketers and the odd sailor with a dinghie. One bass guitarist in a rock band and another guitarist without a permanent band, but has regular lessons - he's older than me (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blink.gif)

[schraeubchen]

When I think about it, I'm actually OK with not receiving any overt support (from family or otherwise) as long as I don't get any flak about it. There are so many bits of pop culture that I just don't participate in already, I gave up feeling anything about that long ago. I simply choose not to talk about it now unless someone asks directly. Anyone who wishes to think I am a snob for liking and participating in classical music is welcome to do so, I simply could not care less. That probably does make me a snob (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

I think, then I am a snob too.

(IMG:http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmthudNuFx1qjnw0co1_500.jpg)

[cestrian]

You might not agree with me (!) but one of the things I have noticed about music and being a late starter (mainly thanks to parents laughing uncontrollably when I started scratching violin many moons ago) I've seen both sides, is how exclusive it is. Listening to music is one thing but making it, especially in a group, is something you can only appreciate when you're on the inside. Those on the outside, whether it is because they do something else for kicks or whether because their 'get up and go' has 'got up and gone' will simply never understand. I didn't realise how great the threshold was before I joined the club. You need to have gone quite a way before you can 'join in'. And with ignorance, comes fear....!!! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ph34r.gif)

In my experience the only thing which comes close is chemistry. I have noticed many times over the years that chemists talk in their own language (long chain alkyls, Friedel-Kraft reactions, ect) and if you can't speak it, well you're not part of the clique...

[Yoshifumu]

You might not agree with me (!) but one of the things I have noticed about music and being a late starter (mainly thanks to parents laughing uncontrollably when I started scratching violin many moons ago) I've seen both sides, is how exclusive it is. Listening to music is one thing but making it, especially in a group, is something you can only appreciate when you're on the inside. Those on the outside, whether it is because they do something else for kicks or whether because their 'get up and go' has 'got up and gone' will simply never understand. I didn't realise how great the threshold was before I joined the club. You need to have gone quite a way before you can 'join in'. And with ignorance, comes fear....!!! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ph34r.gif)

In my experience the only thing which comes close is chemistry. I have noticed many times over the years that chemists talk in their own language (long chain alkyls, Friedel-Kraft reactions, ect) and if you can't speak it, well you're not part of the clique...

You should see my neuroscience lab. I don't understand what the people a few doors down are talking about!

[gwyntdi-enw]

It would be nice to have family support: my birth family still regard me as being "too stupid" to learn anything, never mind a musical instrument (or two) and my OH neither knows nor cares of my grade 8 success and considers there is no difference between a barely reaching grade 3 cellist and an almost ready for grade 8 cellist, or between a pre-grade 1 pianist and a grade 6 pianist. Whatever roles you play (parent, paid worker etc etc) you are still an individual and free to make your own choices and decisions. There are far too many people happy to spent too much time criticising how others choose to use their own time. If you want to learn 1 instrument or 10, climb Everest, or volunteer for a charity, GO FOR IT!

[Tenor Viol]

You might not agree with me (!) but one of the things I have noticed about music and being a late starter (mainly thanks to parents laughing uncontrollably when I started scratching violin many moons ago) I've seen both sides, is how exclusive it is. Listening to music is one thing but making it, especially in a group, is something you can only appreciate when you're on the inside. Those on the outside, whether it is because they do something else for kicks or whether because their 'get up and go' has 'got up and gone' will simply never understand. I didn't realise how great the threshold was before I joined the club. You need to have gone quite a way before you can 'join in'. And with ignorance, comes fear....!!! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ph34r.gif)

In my experience the only thing which comes close is chemistry. I have noticed many times over the years that chemists talk in their own language (long chain alkyls, Friedel-Kraft reactions, ect) and if you can't speak it, well you're not part of the clique...

It's the same with any specialist subject... they all have technical vocabularies

[cestrian]

It's the same with any specialist subject... they all have technical vocabularies
[/quote]

I don't think it is, that's my point. I'm an inveterate self-improver with 101 hobbies under my belt but none prompted the kind of reaction I got when I started to learn to play an instrument. I learnt to fly and people said, "Wow! That must be fun!"; I teach martial arts "Gosh! I bet that keeps you fit!"; I arranged for my first cello lesson...."Why are you doing that? Aren't you too old??"

[Tenor Viol]

How odd. I've not had that experience with music, but I have had it with one of my other interests - astronomy - were people just think you're weird.

[Yoshifumu]

I don't think it is, that's my point. I'm an inveterate self-improver with 101 hobbies under my belt but none prompted the kind of reaction I got when I started to learn to play an instrument. I learnt to fly and people said, "Wow! That must be fun!"; I teach martial arts "Gosh! I bet that keeps you fit!"; I arranged for my first cello lesson...."Why are you doing that? Aren't you too old??"

I think Cestrian was talking about the language used by subjects, not the reaction to it. In which case I would agree (hence my comment above). In any scientific field there is a certain language that has to be learnt. But this applies for all of these pursuits such as engineering. I'd imagine even a professor of English would have a vocabulary filled with words that most of us would never use or know (although we probably should)

How odd. I've not had that experience with music, but I have had it with one of my other interests - astronomy - were people just think you're weird.

I can half understand why people would find astronomy weird. Although personally I would love to own a telescope and have a go. London doesn't really allow for that sort of thing though.

I was going to say though, this thread is a bit of a complaint about why people regard adult musicians in a certain way. But I'm sure everyone here has some kind of hobby that they wouldn't understand, or think odd.



I would probably have nothing but respect (and worry) for the 50 year old who started gymnastics.
But I'm not sure what I would think of someone who started a stamp collection that late for example.

[viola-mad]

It's really sad when family members don't support you in your pursuits. Unfortunately my partner is at best disinterested in my music - and he's a musician himself! I've resigned myself to practising when he's out, but it's really frustrating. Sometimes I find myself wishing he would go out, so I can do what I want to do!

My parents are supportive non-musicians, and they are always asking about what I'm doing. They don't ever ask me to play for them though - that's something only my grandparents ever did.

LearnerFlute, you say your husband and children are supportive, which is the important thing, if you share a home! As for your parents, maybe they are worried that you won't have so much time for them if you take up another instrument?

Possibly a degree of jealousy that you've the drive ...

Yes! I have personal experience of this one. Most memorably, I spent my teens wondering why one particular classmate was so vile to me, when I'd never knowingly upset her. It took me until I was about 30 to realise that envy (of my drive and enthusiasm, I think) was probably at the heart of it.

It's the same with any specialist subject... they all have technical vocabularies

Indeed! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) Have you listened to Wordaholics on Radio 4?

[Deborah]

It's the same with any specialist subject... they all have technical vocabularies

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/agree.gif) This could also be a new thread in itself - "Name your favourite specialist word from one of your non-music interests". I offer tumblehome (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

And to the OP, my husband was very supportive when I resumed piano lessons (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

[Tenor Viol]

It's the same with any specialist subject... they all have technical vocabularies

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/agree.gif) This could also be a new thread in itself - "Name your favourite specialist word from one of your non-music interests". I offer tumblehome (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

And to the OP, my husband was very supportive when I resumed piano lessons (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

Sounds like a good idea - I'll start one!