Communicating with Teachers, How? Options

[notmusimum]

I think communicating with childs music teachers is essential. I don't know where I would be if I wasn't able to talk to them about progress, instruments and music.

I also try and tell them if there are any significant things happening or if daughter is bogged down with GCSE coursework.

We are really lucky that all our current teachers are easy to deal with. It's not always been like that.

We use all the obvious methods face to face, email, text and telephone.

How do other people communicate with their teacher? Is the consensus that it is vital or do some people not mind?

[Seer_Green]

From a teacher's point of view, I try to encourage as much communication as I can - as well as written reports, I also offer parents the opportunity call in for a chat during the last lesson of each term. Sadly, the reality is only a small number, if any take me up on this offer... Occasionally some might call in at the end of a lesson, but this is rare, and most children are dropped off on the other side of the road, and at the end of the lesson, the parent is sitting ready in the getaway car... I'd always be willing to answer parents' questions (so long as they don't become too frequent as I think that then we're getting to a point where they don't actually trust me to do my job), though they rarely have any! I can only encourage those who seek to play an active and supportive role in their child's music education!

[SueHM]

the getaway car...

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/rofl.gif) ...racing away from the scene of the musical crimes?

I teach from home, and I find the majority of the parents will come to the door for a few words either at the beginning or end of the lesson, and this is a good way to keep communication going. However, I don't always want to discuss things in front of the child (I don't want them to think I am making a big thing of whatever it is, just because I am speaking to Mum or Dad, but a quick word is often all that is needed to correct a misunderstanding or whatever). I sometimes follow up with an email, and find that works best for some of the parents who prefer to wait in the car.

Also, I often find that I start writing in the notebook, and then get distracted by what is going on in the lesson, so I sometimes worry that my instructions are too brief or vague, so will sometimes email to clarify a point.

I tend to prefer email enquiries from parents, because this gives me time to check things and give a considered response, rather than rattling off a hasty reply on the hoof. A few write little notes in the practice notebook, which I find helpful eg x found this difficult or we have worked hard on y this week. I sometimes do the same for my children's teachers.

[Dulciana]

As a teacher - I ring and text, and am happy for parents to ring and text me whenever they want to. If I'm busy or teaching I'll get back to them. I don't use email to communicate; text messages will be seen faster, as most people carry their mobiles all the time. I also try to encourage use of the notebooks as much as possible. Quite often I'll text just to say "See notebook", because as well as them seeing the important message they'll also see my other comments and instructions, and are more likely to make sure the child is doing what it's supposed to. I have no parents who come to the door; I'd rather send the child out when I'm ready rather than have the door knock when Junior's half way through the last line. If it's a pupil at the door they'll come in quickly and wait quietly, and Junior knows to keep going, but a parent tends to mean 'stop', because either they make conversation with me or else Junior has books in bag by the time I come back from the door. So I tell them that I'll just send the child out when the lesson's over as long as I see them out there in the car. As well as this, a chatting parent between lessons can hold the next pupil's lesson up.

So, in short, I'm happy for parents to communicate at any time, but not between lessons unless it's urgent. As both a teacher and a parent I agree with notmusimum that communication is vital - even with parents of older teenagers.

[Clari Nicki1]

Some of my parents have my mobile number- as text is good! These parents are the ones whose children I have been teaching for a long time!
Some use email.... some ring me up- but if I'm teaching that's a rubbish way of communicating as I don't answer!

I give most of my school based pupils my home number and email. One prep school I teach in I find very odd, as all the admin is done from school, so I don't have any contact with the parents at all- apart from I write termly reports. I don't like it One did write me a note in the practice book and I gave him my phone number but he didn't reply!

I contact DD2's violin teacher by text! She's a friend so I do occasionally see her! DD2's piano teacher is a friend and I see her in a school I teach. Don't have any contact with DD1's teachers- she boards- but she is in 6th form so that's ok... she listens and knows her own mind!

[SueHM]

I'd like to be able to leave my front door open and have pupils come in and wait, but after two walk-in burglaries in recent years, I can't do that. One fine day, I shall have my conservatory rebuilt, and then they can wait in there (adjacent to my teaching room). I think I must have my parents pretty well trained - lessons are rarely interrupted, and I tend to open the door once - one in, one out, and there is usually time for a brief word if necessary while children are packing up/unpacking.

[ViolaMum]

DS' lessons are at school and completely organised by the Music Trust. We don't get to hear much from them or the school, just a list on the music board regarding day/time of lessons. We tend not to find out if teacher is sick etc until DS or his friends go to the lesson and Teacher isn't there!!! I find this very frustrating, although when I have contacted the trust they have been very helpful. I did mention it to Teacher once and he now tries to let me know directly, which I appreciate.

DS has a practice diary which I make a point of writing in weekly and Teacher does the same. He usually speaks to DS about my comments! He also gave me his Mobile number and email address. I tend to email him as I think that this is less intrusive, although sometimes he is very forthcoming and other times not. Again frustrating! I hope that he doesn't think we don't trust him to do his job (as Seer_Green says) but we do like to be involved and know what's going on, and I do try to keep it to a minimum, as he has a life too! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/happy.gif) And we really do think that he is a good teacher - he seems to suit our DS anyway.

Anyone with DSs out there will probably understand the lack of information that comes back with them - "How was your lesson?" - "OK", "What did Teacher tell you to do?" - "Don't remember, can I watch TV now?" (IMG:style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif)

[Halka]

We've been incredibly lucky with daughter's out of school teachers. She started cello at 5, and every lesson for almost 9 years I sat and waited for her in her teacher's sitting room, so was always able to have a quick word at the beginning or end of lesson. Current clarinet teacher comes to us (and has done for the last 3.5 years) so again it is straightforward to talk to him when he arrives, and I always sit in the last 5 minutes of the lesson in case it has occurred to him to say anything to me. Recorder teacher - 6 years - is my teacher too (since 2000), and a friend by now, so it is easy to have a quick chat at the end of daughter's lesson which is usually the last of her day. We communicate by email (mostly and phone too).

I am sure that the easy communication with these teachers is part of the reason why we have had a long and successful relationship with them. I certainly very much appreciate being able to talk about any minor molehills before I have worried them into mountains. Of course, when the teacher has something nice to say it's good to be around so they can say it to me as well as my daughter!!

It's not the whole story though, as my daughter has had long and productive relationships with instrumental/singing teachers at school too, even though it has been generally very difficult for me to communicate with them at all. I may have spent more time worrying privately about certain aspects of these lessons but clearly good communication between me and teacher has not been a prerequisite for daughter's success.

In all this time we've only ever fallen out with one teacher who was very determined to have as little to do with me as possible (Wise lady, perhaps). I did write in daughter's note book from time to time, but never got any response. The consequence was that what began as an assortment of minor niggles ultimately became (what she perceived to be) major bones of contention by the time we eventually met up. She thought I was querying her professionalism and gave us the boot! As a professional myself, in a very different field, I wish I had the luxury of being able to fire any pesky client who dares to ask me why I choose to do something as I do..... Anyway, this experience certainly made me appreciate the potential advantages of frequent interaction with teachers.

[Seer_Green]

I did write in daughter's note book from time to time, but never got any response. The consequence was that what began as an assortment of minor niggles ultimately became (what she perceived to be) major bones of contention by the time we eventually met up. She thought I was querying her professionalism and gave us the boot! As a professional myself, in a very different field, I wish I had the luxury of being able to fire any pesky client who dares to ask me why I choose to do something as I do..... Anyway, this experience certainly made me appreciate the potential advantages of frequent interaction with teachers.

In fairness, if a parent wished to ask me something or discuss something about their child's musical education, I wouldn't personally find it acceptable for this to be done by handwritten note in a notebook. These things are much better discussed face to face or by telephone. Would you expect your clients to communicate with you in this way?

[Clari Nicki1]

I did write in daughter's note book from time to time, but never got any response. The consequence was that what began as an assortment of minor niggles ultimately became (what she perceived to be) major bones of contention by the time we eventually met up. She thought I was querying her professionalism and gave us the boot! As a professional myself, in a very different field, I wish I had the luxury of being able to fire any pesky client who dares to ask me why I choose to do something as I do..... Anyway, this experience certainly made me appreciate the potential advantages of frequent interaction with teachers.

In fairness, if a parent wished to ask me something or discuss something about their child's musical education, I wouldn't personally find it acceptable for this to be done by handwritten note in a notebook. These things are much better discussed face to face or by telephone. Would you expect your clients to communicate with you in this way?

If parents write notes in the book, I nearly always write back- I quite appreciate the comments! It's how low key communication is carried out with teachers and parents about reading- through the reading record. It seems an obvious way to communicate- especially when the parent doesn't have my contact details because the school manages the lessons! Parents often write "XXXX has been unwell this week, so very little practise'- it tells me what I need to know, in a v quick way! To b quite honest, ringing me in the evenings isn't better as I'm either teaching or with my family then!!!!

[Halka]

I did write in daughter's note book from time to time, but never got any response. The consequence was that what began as an assortment of minor niggles ultimately became (what she perceived to be) major bones of contention by the time we eventually met up. She thought I was querying her professionalism and gave us the boot! As a professional myself, in a very different field, I wish I had the luxury of being able to fire any pesky client who dares to ask me why I choose to do something as I do..... Anyway, this experience certainly made me appreciate the potential advantages of frequent interaction with teachers.

In fairness, if a parent wished to ask me something or discuss something about their child's musical education, I wouldn't personally find it acceptable for this to be done by handwritten note in a notebook. These things are much better discussed face to face or by telephone. Would you expect your clients to communicate with you in this way?

No, but I am always at the end of a phone if a client phones and I cannot, and would not, refuse to speak to them. If they ask for a meeting then one will be arranged as soon as possible. I would have loved to have an early face to face meeting or phone call with this person, but had to resort to the notebook as this was my only option...

When I wrote in the notebook it was generally to convey information - eg about daughter's commitments to exams in other instruments, and was occasionally accompanied by a request that the teacher phone me, which she never did. This was a teacher in school. I did not have her phone number or email address. I could have sent a note via the music department, but to my mind that is not much better than, or different from writing in the note book.

Teachers on this forum often urge parents to communicate by notebook for all sorts of very good reasons.

Seems I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't though..

[Seer_Green]

Of course, I'm speaking from a private teacher's perspective, and I can see it's harder with school teachers/peris.

[Czerny]

I did write in daughter's note book from time to time, but never got any response. The consequence was that what began as an assortment of minor niggles ultimately became (what she perceived to be) major bones of contention by the time we eventually met up. She thought I was querying her professionalism and gave us the boot! As a professional myself, in a very different field, I wish I had the luxury of being able to fire any pesky client who dares to ask me why I choose to do something as I do..... Anyway, this experience certainly made me appreciate the potential advantages of frequent interaction with teachers.

In fairness, if a parent wished to ask me something or discuss something about their child's musical education, I wouldn't personally find it acceptable for this to be done by handwritten note in a notebook. These things are much better discussed face to face or by telephone. Would you expect your clients to communicate with you in this way?

Why would you not find this method of communication acceptable? Perhaps it's not suitable for a significant or sensitive issue, but it seems perfectly adequate to me for day-to-day queries. I've certainly come across several "official" notebooks designed by schools or music services which have sections specifically intended to be used for correspondence between parent and teacher.

Although we don't know all the background to the case Halka has described, I find this sacking of pupils business to be a bit prima donna-ish. The act of questioning a teacher does not of course necessarily mean the teacher is in the wrong, but nor does it mean they're automatically in the right!

[tonedeafmum]

I think communicating with a school peri is possibly the hardest thing of all.

B1's piano teacher comes to the house and has a cup of tea and a biscuit and if he has time we'll talk for a few minutes after the lesson - he's a good forward planner and is very aware of B1's other commitments (violin and dancing, both of which he has accompanied before).

B2's piano teacher is a private teacher who happens to teach in school. We already knew her before he started lessons because she had been B1's exam accompanist in dim and distant Grade 2 days and have her home phone number (which I have never used) and her mobile, which I text, mostly about practical things like rescheduling lessons on non pupil days and buying new books etc. We also use the notebook - especially for feedback on general progress and things that crop up during practice.

B1's violin teacher is a Music Services peri. She's a great teacher and a very kind and helpful lady but she isn't her own boss the same way that the others are and, especially in the early days, she was manacled by school and council procedures. For the first 18 months the only contact we had was a list of pieces in a notebook and a termly report where she had to tick a box per lesson for good, satisfactory or unsatisfactory! It was only when a personal crisis arose in her life that we had to get together to reschedule lessons outside school hours in my own home and I got to know her. We now text when we need to and no longer communicate through the school - but I am aware that this is actually not considered 'best practice' by the powers that be. It's a pity that the barriers that the schools and Music Services place between teachers and parents, although they are there for teachers' protection, actually hamper them and their students.

[Dulciana]

I did write in daughter's note book from time to time, but never got any response. The consequence was that what began as an assortment of minor niggles ultimately became (what she perceived to be) major bones of contention by the time we eventually met up. She thought I was querying her professionalism and gave us the boot! As a professional myself, in a very different field, I wish I had the luxury of being able to fire any pesky client who dares to ask me why I choose to do something as I do..... Anyway, this experience certainly made me appreciate the potential advantages of frequent interaction with teachers.

In fairness, if a parent wished to ask me something or discuss something about their child's musical education, I wouldn't personally find it acceptable for this to be done by handwritten note in a notebook. These things are much better discussed face to face or by telephone. Would you expect your clients to communicate with you in this way?

I am very grateful for notes in the notebook. Maybe a parent doesn't want to bother the teacher by ringing outside of lesson time, and is sending a message that will be read in lesson time? If it seems significant enough, the ball has been put in our court (as the teacher) to either respond with a quick note or ring, as appropriate. The parent may not be sure whether it's appropriate to ring.