Piano crisis, play or not to play? Options

[boysmum]

DS started piano at 3.5 and has passed Grade 3 with distinction this May at age 6.5. And now he just started to learn Sonatinas. However he has never really enjoyed piano practising, it has been such a struggle to practise 20~30 minutes everyday for the Grade 3 exam.

He does enjoying playing at the concerts and doesn't mind playing at music festivals either. However the piano practising is never easy, he runs away after playing just one time, sometimes half of the piece. Whenever he made a mistake, he threw the music book away.... Otherwise he is a very pleased and well behaved boy.

It just felt so wrong so I decided I had enough of dragging him to the piano stove, for the past two days I have left him watching TV all evening.

However I am so frustrated, should I just give up? I am tone deaf, totally non-musical, so I feel so hopeless. Everyone said he is talented, I am not sure what I should do to look after the talent. I questioned myself if I has built too much expectation on him.

Any wise suggestions please, thank you!

[sbhoa]

Can his teacher find something he'd enjoy playing more.
Sonatinas might be a little hard going for a 6 year old however talented.
Let him enjoy playing.

[DaisyChain]

Well done to your son for getting this far in only three years. I have a student (older than your son) who can get away with minimal practice, and still got distinction at Grade 1. Mum said he threatened to stop playing altogether the more she nagged him to practice. She leaves him to his own devices, and he practises now that the pressure is off.

Your son is very young still. Allow him to have a break every so often without getting too worried. Rely on the judgement of the people who say he is talented. He obviously is to be doing so well already.

Agree that the Sonatinas might be too hard for him, or maybe he just doesn't enjoy them. As sbhoa says, have a word with his teacher.

[Susie]

Well done to your son. He is obviously a really talented boy with good piano skills. However, he is still only 6 and a half. Does your son's teacher allow him to play light-hearted pieces between grades?

There are quite a few books on the market that have good tunes that appeal to boys. Some of them will be really easy for your son, but I'm sure he would enjoy playing them and his friends will think he is wonderful - eg:

http://www.fabermusicstore.com/Just-For-Ki...0571528589.aspx

This is only about grade 1 standard, but has fun pieces. There will be others in your local book shop - maybe he likes tunes from Disney films - that would be a good starting place.

Then he could start work on his Sonatinas in a gentle way, - you could use the fun pieces as bribery!

However, it would also be good to discuss this with your son's teacher and explain how you have had to be so firm to get your son to practise. S/he needs to realise that there is a challenge here in getting him to work on his skills with music that he finds attractive, otherwise there is a danger that he will be switched off.

[violinlove]

Your son sounds like he has real ability to play the piano and has progressed very fast. He has obviously put in a lot of work to achieve grade 3 distinction and unfortunately a lot of this nitty gritty work is not fun. Maybe he just sees the piano practice as hard slog and he is rebelling against it. Perhaps he doesn't like the sonatinas or maybe they are just a little bit too difficult for him.

I would suggest having a chat with his teacher - perhaps take the pressure off for a while by learning a lot of fun pieces of about grade 2 to 3 standard. I like the Microjazz books from Christopher Norton - especially the duet books. Is there another child he could play duets with? The book that Susie suggested looks great too.
Some of my pupils enjoying regularly revisiting Dozen-a-day exercises and transposing them into different keys. They choose a key from those they have learned so far, play the scale and then have a go at the transposition.

You could also provide him with some music paper and he could compose his own pieces and practise them. I have a 6 year old violinist who had a wobble a couple of months ago and through composition his enthusiasm has come back. He loves thinking of a title and decorating the page as well as making the piece as complicated as possible before setting off to practise it!

[boysmum]

Thanks everyone for your ideas. I have ordered the books, will also consider the composition idea. many thanks for all the support.

[RobRoy]

Thanks everyone for your ideas. I have ordered the books, will also consider the composition idea. many thanks for all the support.

I know that investing time and money in lessons, scores and instruments means it can be frustrating when they don't practise but pushing can be such a turn off for the child as well. My 11 yr old had a phase about 2 or 3 years ago when he wouldn't touch a piano between lessons. He still loved his lessons but he just wouldn't approach it in a structured way with practice in the build up to exams - and who can blame him. That sort of 'adult' view of it all must be totally alien to most children. We thought about making an issue of it and decided just to leave it. He is still little better. He now practises for about 5 minutes a day and plays for fun for about another 15 and it doesn't seem to be hurting as he's on to grade 8 and his lessons are the highlight of his week. I think if we had more of it then by now he'd probably have rebelled and given it all up.

I do agree about composition though. One of the things that made us feel better about his lack of structured time at the keyboard was the fact that he always kept his hand in at composing. He's now a far better composer than he is a pianist. Good luck and hope you find the right balance.