Nerve Options

[wannabegood]

Morning, often read the messages, but have only just decided to join. I am currently waiting, not so patiently for my grade 5 theory results and also my grade 3 piano which I took last Saturday. I was just wondering if anyone has any tips for controlling my nerves. Have always suffered during my exams (I am grade 5 Sax and Clarinet) and was recommended the Bach remedy. But after taking what must have amounted to half a bottle in my cup of tea and also sprays on the tongue, I walked into the examination room and completely went to pieces...although well prepared and I ended up as a quivering wreck and came out in tears, not good for a 40 year old women! Help needed please, am seriously thinking of giving up on the lessons.

[BerkshireMum]

Please don't give up on the lessons simply because of exam nerves! There's so much more to learning piano than passing exams, and I assure you that unless you are intending to play solo for the pleasure of others, nerves aren't a problem in other situations.

It's really common for adults to be terribly nervous before an examiner. I learnt some piano up to the age of 10, by which time I'd passed grades 1 and 2, as far as I can remember, with no nerves. As a young adult I had more lessons, and the teacher suggested I try grade 6 - I was so nervous that my hands shook constantly throughout the scales and the first two pieces! By the time I'd got control of them, the exam was more than half over. Yet I've not been nearly so nervous playing as an accompanist - it's only when I play solo that I suddenly realise that the only sound is what I'm making, at which point I tend to fall apart.

If exams upset you so much, I'd suggest forgetting them for now. Just enjoy learning piano for a few years, and trust your teacher to cover the ground without actually entering you for exams. When you feel you'd like to try another exam, go for it, but be aware that you are likely to be nervous because it's a strange environment and a strange instrument, and you'll only have one bite at the cherry of each piece. Half the problem is caused by worrying about messing up, so imagine yourself doing that and convince yourself that it doesn't really matter - because it doesn't! After all, it's not like passing a driving test, which is essential if you're to be allowed out on your own - it's simply an independent assessment of your progress, and even if you fail dismally, it won't mean that you can't play the piano.

I wouldn't be surprised if you've done really well in your grade 3, but even if you haven't, the 15 minutes you spent in that exam room is not a good reason for deciding to give up piano lessons. If you're enjoying learning, more power to your elbow! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

[Hils]

I ended up as a quivering wreck and came out in tears, not good for a 40 year old women! Help needed please, am seriously thinking of giving up on the lessons.

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/welcome.gif) to the forums. Our reactions can surprise us, can't they! I now know to expect quite a big low whenever I finish performing. It is still unpleasant but I know it is normal-for-me so I sort of wait it out. Don't let this sort of thing sap your confidence or put you off playing though - as Berkshire Mum has said, its the music that matters, not the exam. : (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)

[sbhoa]

Don't let the exam experience put you off learning.
You may want to use exans as landmarks in which case you need to work with your teacher on how to manage (Something I'm working on) but exams are not the main thing that music is about. You can choose not to do them and progress equally well..... or even better without the added stess and exam preparation time.
If you want to seek out opportunities to play to others (I don't find this half as stressful as an exam) have a look at the Events board. The Adult learner and forum concerts are more like a friendly get together where we play to one another and it really doesn't matter if things don't go perfectly.

[wannabegood]

Many thanks for your kind and helpful comments. I think it's the fustration of feeling that I've let myself down that's getting to me as I know I can do it. It was actually grade 4 piano that I sat, (a typo in my previous post) and as I said before I am grade 5 sax and clarinet so should be used to the pressure. I think the problem is, is that I am currently training to be a music teacher and therefore not taking any more exams is not an option. I suppose next time I will try having a bacardi!

[Blackbird77]

Hi and welcome to the forums. As someone who is badly affected by exam nerves (and who is also nervously awaiting exam results) I can completely empathise with how you feel. I did two exams, one was an utter disaster and to be honest I am hoping against hope for a pass. The other exam was an utter eye opener as it was the first time ever my nerves left me - so it can and does happen (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

For me, one of the main reasons my nerves disappeared was the examiner - they just had this magical ability to put me at ease and I completely forgot I was nervous.

However, I would thoroughly recommend going to forum events - they are a wonderful way to gain valuable experience of playing in front of people in an atmosphere which is non judgemental, supportive, encouraging and great fun. Another suggestion I've been given is to consider Performance Assessments as an alternative/rehearsal opportunity to the exams.

Good luck for your exam results.

[anacrusis]

You're by no means alone to find yourself doing the jelly-wreck thing in a performance exam (IMG:style_emoticons/default/thereThere.gif) - it's important to remember that an exam is only a measuring stick, and a very imperfect one at that. The syllabus will give you an idea of the repertoire you're capable of tackling - sitting the exam gives you a sense of focus and a set of criteria by which you can judge how it's going, but should never be more than a guide. Everyone can have an off day, for one thing, and for another - the real thing the exam result tells you is how well you sat the exam, on that day. Normal music making doesn't have to have such conditions attached (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif).

Choices for maturer musicians include not sitting exams, just having tuition: that one is good for those who can find enough motivation and focus from within themselves, but is not so good for those who need goals to aim for. Alternatively one can formally practise exam technique, which includes exposure to performance stress by means of taking part in concerts - and yes, the forums concerts provide a safe and gentle platform as a very good starting point for this. Other options include finding a group of like-minded and like-skilled musicians locally and joining forces with them, or performing in local competition festivals in adult classes, depending on whether your ultimate aim is to play for your pleasure, or to include others in that in some way (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif). It can take some time to pluck up courage to ask others, but it is well worth keeping your ear to the ground for news of other musicians who might join you.

Good luck, and do enjoy the music (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif).

[A.U.K]

Hello and welcome..

Forgive me but I am going to go out on a limb here but I strongly suspect that there are other stresses and strains in your life that are compounding themselves when it comes to perfomance or exam nerves..its all building up and whoosh out it comes when you took the exam..I could be wrong but it is a very common situation, more common than you imagine. Being totally prepared always helps as we know we can get through whatever happens so any doubts we have as to our level of competency can add to the worry..dont take an exam until you are way past that level and working on much harder repetoire, then it should be a lot easier..

Our basic brain operates on a fight or flight response when we had to leg it a bit smartish when being stalked by predators in early or pre history.. This particular part of the brain which is still present in our modern brains cannot seperate the difference between actual threat (Charging mammoth) and social threat (i.e. Performing nerves) and kicks a huge amount of adrenalin into our system..This in turn prepares us for a quick getaway and we start to sweat, get pannicky as the muscles tense and our mind becomes clouded with panic..our fingers go numb and everything seems to go Hairpins over Bustle..As a calming measure we take deep breaths in an attempt to calm oursleves, this is the worst thing we can do as we can hyperventilate as we overload the brain with oxygen..the best thing to do is exhale and hold the breath out to starve the system of excess oxygen which in turn will slow the flight or fight section of the brain down considerably and help us to remain calmer..Also by accepting that we are nervous that helps a lot rather than fighting it..I dont reccomend imagining the examiner naked..that could put you either right off or into a fit of giggles..

More performing will help so get out there and play for people so taking an exam will just be another performance..

I dealt with serious professional stage fright many many years ago and it does eventually pass but you will need to work through it and keep going..

Best of luck, don't beat yourself up, everyone can have a touch of nerves..and lord knows I've cried lots of times..

Andrew

[stetenorve]

Hello and welcome to the forums! I just don't suffer from nerves when singing - whether as part of a choir, or a soloist. I have led multi-million pound project teams, commanded rifle companies, met Royalty etc etc. BUT - sit me on that piano stool in an exam, and my fingers simply don't behave!

But so what? I enjoy learning the piano and making music. Long may it continue. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/piano.gif)

[Sunrise]

Hello and welcome to the forums! I just don't suffer from nerves when singing - whether as part of a choir, or a soloist. I have led multi-million pound project teams, commanded rifle companies, met Royalty etc etc. BUT - sit me on that piano stool in an exam, and my fingers simply don't behave!

But so what? I enjoy learning the piano and making music. Long may it continue. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/piano.gif)

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

[wannabegood]

Hello and welcome..

Forgive me but I am going to go out on a limb here but I strongly suspect that there are other stresses and strains in your life that are compounding themselves when it comes to perfomance or exam nerves..its all building up and whoosh out it comes when you took the exam..I could be wrong but it is a very common situation, more common than you imagine. Being totally prepared always helps as we know we can get through whatever happens so any doubts we have as to our level of competency can add to the worry..dont take an exam until you are way past that level and working on much harder repetoire, then it should be a lot easier..

Our basic brain operates on a fight or flight response when we had to leg it a bit smartish when being stalked by predators in early or pre history.. This particular part of the brain which is still present in our modern brains cannot seperate the difference between actual threat (Charging mammoth) and social threat (i.e. Performing nerves) and kicks a huge amount of adrenalin into our system..This in turn prepares us for a quick getaway and we start to sweat, get pannicky as the muscles tense and our mind becomes clouded with panic..our fingers go numb and everything seems to go Hairpins over Bustle..As a calming measure we take deep breaths in an attempt to calm oursleves, this is the worst thing we can do as we can hyperventilate as we overload the brain with oxygen..the best thing to do is exhale and hold the breath out to starve the system of excess oxygen which in turn will slow the flight or fight section of the brain down considerably and help us to remain calmer..Also by accepting that we are nervous that helps a lot rather than fighting it..I dont reccomend imagining the examiner naked..that could put you either right off or into a fit of giggles..

More performing will help so get out there and play for people so taking an exam will just be another performance..

I dealt with serious professional stage fright many many years ago and it does eventually pass but you will need to work through it and keep going..

Best of luck, don't beat yourself up, everyone can have a touch of nerves..and lord knows I've cried lots of times..

Andrew

Hello and welcome..

Forgive me but I am going to go out on a limb here but I strongly suspect that there are other stresses and strains in your life that are compounding themselves when it comes to perfomance or exam nerves..its all building up and whoosh out it comes when you took the exam..I could be wrong but it is a very common situation, more common than you imagine. Being totally prepared always helps as we know we can get through whatever happens so any doubts we have as to our level of competency can add to the worry..dont take an exam until you are way past that level and working on much harder repetoire, then it should be a lot easier..

Our basic brain operates on a fight or flight response when we had to leg it a bit smartish when being stalked by predators in early or pre history.. This particular part of the brain which is still present in our modern brains cannot seperate the difference between actual threat (Charging mammoth) and social threat (i.e. Performing nerves) and kicks a huge amount of adrenalin into our system..This in turn prepares us for a quick getaway and we start to sweat, get pannicky as the muscles tense and our mind becomes clouded with panic..our fingers go numb and everything seems to go Hairpins over Bustle..As a calming measure we take deep breaths in an attempt to calm oursleves, this is the worst thing we can do as we can hyperventilate as we overload the brain with oxygen..the best thing to do is exhale and hold the breath out to starve the system of excess oxygen which in turn will slow the flight or fight section of the brain down considerably and help us to remain calmer..Also by accepting that we are nervous that helps a lot rather than fighting it..I dont reccomend imagining the examiner naked..that could put you either right off or into a fit of giggles..

More performing will help so get out there and play for people so taking an exam will just be another performance..

I dealt with serious professional stage fright many many years ago and it does eventually pass but you will need to work through it and keep going..

Best of luck, don't beat yourself up, everyone can have a touch of nerves..and lord knows I've cried lots of times..

Andrew

[wannabegood]

So sorry seemed to have messed up on how to post to the forum....just another hash up that I've made this week!!!
Anyway had my first lesson yesterday after sitting the dreaded exam and after talking it all through, my teacher assures me that maybe it didn't go as bad as I thought it did...will have to wait and see.
Without the usual sob stories (I hate it went people use those as excuses) but the nail was hit on the head so to speak. Andrew suggested that there may have been other issues that caused me all the anxiety, in hindsight he's probably right; at the moment my mum is battling against emphasema and indeed was in hospital last week after suffering another 'crisis', so I was busy with visits etc, have also been stressed with end of term projects etc so maybe my stress levels were at a premium without realising it.

However, thanks again for all your kind thoughts and suggestions. Next time, I'll play to anyone and everyone who comes through my door. I'll let you know when the results come.
(IMG:style_emoticons/default/eek.gif)

[delicato]

So sorry seemed to have messed up on how to post to the forum....just another hash up that I've made this week!!!
Anyway had my first lesson yesterday after sitting the dreaded exam and after talking it all through, my teacher assures me that maybe it didn't go as bad as I thought it did...will have to wait and see.
Without the usual sob stories (I hate it went people use those as excuses) but the nail was hit on the head so to speak. Andrew suggested that there may have been other issues that caused me all the anxiety, in hindsight he's probably right; at the moment my mum is battling against emphasema and indeed was in hospital last week after suffering another 'crisis', so I was busy with visits etc, have also been stressed with end of term projects etc so maybe my stress levels were at a premium without realising it.

However, thanks again for all your kind thoughts and suggestions. Next time, I'll play to anyone and everyone who comes through my door. I'll let you know when the results come.
(IMG:style_emoticons/default/eek.gif)

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/welcome.gif)
Hi wannabegood - a lovely name!
I'm on my grade 3 piano, and i also suffer with nerves.
So same problem really.
The bach remedies do not work for me or deep breathing. So am currently investigating further! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)
Hopefully will be cured one day! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)
Shame about your mum. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sad.gif)
Do hope you find a suitable cure soon for nerves.

[jazzycat]

Hypnotherapy...hypnotherapy...hypnotherapy
(IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

[dolce@piano]

Hello wannabegood.

Although I might get shot down in flames, as a teacher, I know LOTS of people who've tried LOTS of different anti-nerves/anti-stress medicines and techniques.

And overall I don;t think they work and the reason is, I reckon, that people EXPECT them to work and expect not to feel nervous so when they do feel nervous they panic. And it's even worse than in the first place.

I think you have to embrace the nerves i.e. I WILL feel nervous. stressed, nauseous, whatever, it's 100% normal. everyone else does. And, then, bit by bit, in my experience, without really noticing it, you feel less and less nervous.

(NB There was a big world-wide study on pain in child-birth where first-time mothers-to-be rated how painful they expected childbirth to be and compared it with the level of painkillers finally needed. Dutch women expected childbirth to be the most painful AND ended up needing the lowest level of painkillers).