Old Ladies' Traditional Values Association Options

[The Old Lady]

Tell you what Dilly, do nuts won't be the only thing laying heavy on you, so will the hand cuffs and chains they attach when they arrest you for diamond snuffling (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blink.gif) It isn't worth it for a piece of cheese, you want a whole lot more than that. Trust me, I'm from a gangsters family, where do you think Hudson has gorn???????? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/unsure.gif)
S'pose we could get a boat and come back to a quiet beach and do it, but not on the ferry or the plane, no way, Believe me I've been there and got the knickers (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)
BTW, Hans Van Der Bigone is very generous, and I am so looking forward to New Yorkers, maybe we could go to San Franciscob too, with flowers in our hair??
Great Aunt May.

[petrat]

Ay Liddy, do you think that there is any chance at all of those two being home and dry by Saturday? I very much doubt it. If they do I hope that they bring some very large and very sparkly bits and pieces with them for their old pals. Those Prada mice were nice while they lasted, which wasn't very long really Lidd, but not the real thing. I know that I did well with my lottery itch card win but by the time we'd had our grand tour and I'd set up the pension funds for Dobbin and for myself there wasn't much left at all for fine jewelry and I have always wanted a really big diamond on my paw. Ah well. Some things are not to be.
Shall we have one final run through my solo Lidd? No? Well you may well be right. We cannot improve on perfection after all dear. Those forumites and their friends are going to be so thrilled when they hear us perform. No need for banananananas for us!
I feel rather sorry for that brother of May's though. In jail for ten years for something or other. It's a long time and no mistake. Well, probably there was a mistake and he was caught out because of it, but you know what I mean Lidd.
Let's tell Daft Dilly and Great May that the venue has been moved to the Purcell room or somewhere like that and then they won't bother us! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)
Are you all set for the trip to the big apple? I wonder why they call it that. I expect we'll just find lots of pips and a big fat maggot when we get there. Did you know that we are to appear on the Ned Sullivan show there? It seems that our reputation has gone ahead of us. Fancy a panad and a welsh cake Lidd? Here, shove old Dobbin out of the way and pull up a chair.

[diapason]

OOOOOOOOOOOOh - me head!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Av you seen 't'time??

"My Old Man (hic) said Follow the Van Hagenbloomen".....whatever

I keep 'earin this chinking sound from me nether garments......and sumthin's chafin'. I'll check when and bloomin IF I get back t't 'otel. Which street is it - all these red lights are makin' me dizzy?

Ooh that looks like a nice little room - I wonder if she'd mind sharing? Looks as though she's ready for bed in any case.

(shouts throu't winder) I say, luv. Sproken zee Lancashire - or cockney (depends 'ow much gin I've supped) Can ya find room for one more? Eeee........them's pretty knicks - did ya buy 'em at my party?

Ooooooooh, sorry luvvie, didn't see ya husband there - bit young in't 'e??

Alright, alright, stroppy cow, I'm going!!!!!

Boo hoo, sob sob, I want to go home to me own bed.....I'm lost (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sad.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sad.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sad.gif)

[musicmanNZ]

Help!! this thread is TOTALLY scary !!!! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blink.gif)

To think that some of your actually CHARGE people to teach them an instrument.

Do they know you are all crackers ??????

Quick send for the men with white coats (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ohmy.gif)

[petrat]

Addy lives with a man in a white coat deary! Nothing wrong with her. She's as sane as the next musician. It is petrat who charges people for lessons so I would worry about her if I were you. Here, have a glitter mouse. I bet that you haven't actually read the whole novel thread sunshine!

[petrat]

A triumph Dears, an absolute triumph and no mistake. Under your exceptional musical direction we gave a splendid performance in Chester Lidd. Your mastery of the triangle was masterfull! No other word for it Lidd. And what about that Great Aunt Sally on the piano then? Great and no mistake! She could go far if she sticks with us. Your hat went down a bomb too. That Zoda fellow loved it didn't he? Do you think that we should start our own fashion house Lidd? Add and Lidd Designs!
I can still do my top notes as well as ever too. We made the Chester Chronicle and Classic FM. What next Liddy? A prom concert maybe? We'll be able to buy our own limo at this rate dear. Off to bed now. I'll talk again tomorrow. I really need my beauty sleep now. Shove old Dobbin to one side, he's taking all the heat from the fire.

[barry-clari]

I love this thread! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

Are you wonderful people going to Leeds?

I must bring my autograph book! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

[Malone]

do i qualify as Old???? I'm already entering my 3rd decade!!

[skylark]

Are you wonderful people going to Leeds?

They're talking about going to Singapore as well .... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ph34r.gif)



(IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

[diapason]

Are you wonderful people going to Leeds?

They're talking about going to Singapore as well .... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ph34r.gif)



(IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

Singapore??? I've got to get out of Rotter-amster-maas-edam-gouda by the sea "detention centre" first.........thank you very much!!! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sad.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/mad.gif)

Dilly in the Sky with Diamonds!!!! Got caught at Skip Hole Hairpot with Dimonds in me drawers. All them bells and sireens goin' orf and these men wearing uniforms and dutch caps grabs me and starts friskying me round me polders...........that wert good bit............then they carts me orf to this ere Descension Centre I ere I been ever since. Never did get to that restaurant for a good slap and a meal wot this bloomin' COUNT promised me. He only wanted wot I got in me drawers - and them 'ave been confisticated.

And to dutch cap it all, it turns out they were cheap crystal wot you can buy from H. Samuel or B & QVC

If I'm not given hard slave labour in one o' them work 'ouses in Hamsterjam, I'm gettin' on the first plane back to Blackpool Interdemoninational Airport, and tell all me pupils that I'm teachin' again......all this 'as bin too much for old Dilys.

Until then

I'M A CALAMITY - GET ME OUT OF HERE

[petrat]

So sorry to hear about your plight Dilly. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif) We're bound for the big donut aardvark with the male voice choir very soon so we can't help you yet. Do you think that New York is ready for us yet Dilly? It seems to me though that all you need is a good lawyer. If those rocks were nothing more than fakes what is the problem? We met a good lawer in Chester yesterday. If you play the recorder nicely to him he will love you forever and help with your case. Don't sing though Dear. After hearing me he will be spoilt for any other singers for ever. Off to the Purple Camel with my pal Lidd now. We'll send you a postcard from NY. Maybe!

[The Old Lady]

Just a quiet word for the lawer from Chester. Don't help with her case. You don't know what's in it and I do. A big box of Buzzing Badgers. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/huh.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/huh.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/huh.gif) Quick Dilly, let's get out of here, and go back to my cottage, and then decide what to do from there. Woo, I am so sad to be leavin' Hans Van der Bigone , still, some things have to be left behind. In my case they are all behind (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blink.gif)
Great Aunt May, who wishes so much she was at Chester to hear Addy and Liddy do their stuff. Maybe I could have done, "My Old Man Says Follow The Van", but then Dilly couldn't have dallied could she??

[Charlies Aunt]

'Ello me darlin's!! Stand by ya beds. Old Liddys back in tahn!! Cor that was a long walk 'ome from Chester! Just got in and am soakin' me feet in a nice 'ot bowl of water. I guess I shoulda taken the washin' up out the bowl first, but wen a gels gotta soak 'er feet, she's gotta soak 'er feet! Ain't that right ladies!

Well, Add, wot a fine old time we 'ad ay darlin'! You and me went dahn a storm diddun we? I could see all the ladies were mighty jellus of our fine attire. Specially me 'at on me 'ead! You looked stunnin' darlin' ya reelly did. A fine night shirt and no mistake. Wot a lotta clever peeple swee'eart! All playin' or singin' summink. Wot about old Lavvy back from beyond the grave (or is she from the back of beyond then?) playin' a toon on 'er Cabby Net fingy. Wot a looker that George fella is an' all!! 'E was singin' a song to Apple Blossom. I fought she was inside? 'As she gone, is she 'ere, there or everywhere? I dunno. It puts me 'ead in a spin to fink about it. Some funny old foters goin' about in't there?? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

Ooo- ta everso for drivin' me round ya village on Sundy darlin'. Quaint aint it? If I could just say though, you drive fine on the roads but then ya 'ad one of ya turns and decided to drive on the field! What d'ya do that for then, hen? The wheels on the bus went round and round but we woz goin' nowhere! Bloomin' mud flyin' everywhere. And your language darlin'! Not very appropriate for a Sundy mornin' if ya don't mind me sayin' so sweet. 'Ere- I did laff at them sheep though!! He he!! First they runs up the field. Then they runs dahn the field. Then they stands starin' at us like we were daft or summink. Mind you, that little one come over and I fought it woz gonna try and push us out! I s'ppose we should say "fank ewe!!" (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif) Wot a laff we 'ad though darlin'. Mind ya, the trek back to ya 'ouse neerly did fer me. I woz 'uffin' and puffin' so's I nearly blew ya 'ouse dahn!

Ah well, back to the reel werld now. S'ppos I better go. Berts goin' on about wantin' a dinner plate out the bowl. I'll fro it at 'im if 'e ain't careful. Oo would ya look at that!! I gotta fork stuck in me big toe! Still, no sense no feelin'. That's wot they say innit?

Take care of yaself Add. See ya in that Leeds place I s'ppose.

Cheerio swee'eart
Liddy xxxxxxxx

[petrat]

Watcha Lidd. Glad you got home safely. Yes, that was rather an amazing performance that we gave in Chester. That Katyjay said that she had never heard anything quite like it in her life so it must have been special! I'll see you well before Leeds though Lidd 'cause we are going to New York very soon with the male voice choir. I am packing my case as we speak. I've lent old Dobbin to the local huntmaster to ride when he takes his doggies out for a walk and the hens are booked into the local cattery. How's your Bert going to manage when you go away Lidd? Are you going to trust him staying in your place again? I suppose that he could babysit your Tiddles. We need some stunning dresses for our next concert. Do you think we should hire a dressmaker or shall we just hit Oxfam again? We got some great dresses for Chester there Liddy. And that hat of yours was stylish beyond belief. Heard anything from Great May or Daft Dilly recently? It's that Hudson fellow that I feel a bit sorry for. The other two can look after themselves but he was too dopey to do much. Off now for a wild dinner with a mystery date. X Addy

[The Old Lady]

Hello Liddy and Addy,
Well we managed to get away from the Dutch, and what's more , we are coming to the USA at the same time as you two (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif) Bet you are really pleased Addy (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)
Dilly and I have auditioned for the remake of the musical "Don't put your daughter on the stage Mrs Farthington", and we'll be doing our music hall style stuff for a week on Broadway. Ohhhhh, the lights, the make-up, the music, the men, the wine............... Wonderful. My fans have had far too long without me (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)
So, Dilly and I are off to Harrods to get some clobber, and we'll be seeing you soon. Come on Dilly, what size shoes are you dear, a 10!!!!!!!! Cor blimey. Don't know if they do those red stilletos in a 10 (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blink.gif)
Great Aunt May.