Absolutely Furious, snooping pupils Options

[Cyrilla]

Just trying to build up the courage to suggest she keeps the other sibling with her as they have abused my trust.

Tasha

Yes - I think you're absolutely right to put it like this. Just be very calm and professional about it.

Best of luck!

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

[Dulciana]

If these children are inclined to be dishonest, it's possible that they'll say "We didn't!" to their mum, in which case she might just be defensive when she speaks to you again. Just something to think about and be prepard for! Rather than simply say, "Yes, they did," which could be a conversation-stopper, it might be worth having your response ready, just in case!

[Susie]

If these children are inclined to be dishonest, it's possible that they'll say "We didn't!" to their mum, in which case she might just be defensive when she speaks to you again. Just something to think about and be prepard for! Rather than simply say, "Yes, they did," which could be a conversation-stopper, it might be worth having your response ready, just in case!

Yes, I would agree with this.

I obviously haven't had this precise situation, but I was really surprised one day when I was speaking to a child after his lesson, with mother present, and I light-heartedly (but with some seriousness in my voice) suggested that he needed to apply himself to his scales more. She was really quick off the mark to his defence, and I really felt that I had been speaking out of turn to suggest that he needed to work harder. [I had previously had most dealings with father, who seemed to be able to see that his son needed to work a bit harder] So do think of an appropriate response and be prepared to stand your ground.

[notmusimum]

And pray tell just who thought that suitably filled loo a suitable toy for a young lady? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

I could tell you a very funny story about that fake stuff but don't want to hijack the thread (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

If these children are inclined to be dishonest, it's possible that they'll say "We didn't!" to their mum, in which case she might just be defensive when she speaks to you again. Just something to think about and be prepard for! Rather than simply say, "Yes, they did," which could be a conversation-stopper, it might be worth having your response ready, just in case!

That's what I was trying to illustrate with my story. sometimes even when the parent knows that the child has been dishonest, caught wiht the missing item, they don't take responsibility.

[tasha.t]

And pray tell just who thought that suitably filled loo a suitable toy for a young lady? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

I could tell you a very funny story about that fake stuff but don't want to hijack the thread (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

If these children are inclined to be dishonest, it's possible that they'll say "We didn't!" to their mum, in which case she might just be defensive when she speaks to you again. Just something to think about and be prepard for! Rather than simply say, "Yes, they did," which could be a conversation-stopper, it might be worth having your response ready, just in case!

That's what I was trying to illustrate with my story. sometimes even when the parent knows that the child has been dishonest, caught wiht the missing item, they don't take responsibility.

good point thanks - I have two days to think up a response then.

[jenny]

I once had a student who took home a brand new eraser from my piano room - I knew he must have taken it because it was on the table near the piano during his lesson and wasn't there after he'd left. I phoned his mum and asked if he'd taken it home 'by mistake'. She said she would ask him and ten minutes later they were both at my door with the eraser and mum stood by while son apologised. It could have been an embarassing situation, but the mum's response was spot on, I felt.

[Dulciana]

I once had a student who took home a brand new eraser from my piano room - I knew he must have taken it because it was on the table near the piano during his lesson and wasn't there after he'd left. I phoned his mum and asked if he'd taken it home 'by mistake'. She said she would ask him and ten minutes later they were both at my door with the eraser and mum stood by while son apologised. It could have been an embarassing situation, but the mum's response was spot on, I felt.

I quite often accidentally pinch my pupils' pencils and things. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blush.gif) My own children raid the piano room when they need a pencil or something, so I end up with none left and have to ask the pupils to borrow theirs, and end up forgetting to give them back. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif) One mum, whose child kept losing his pencils to me (and ultimately to my kids...) gave me a bundle of pencils, pens, a sharpener and a rubber last Christmas, all wrapped up in red ribbon, and stays for a while every few weeks to sharpen them all for me. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blush.gif)

[ad_libitum]

I once had a student who took home a brand new eraser from my piano room - I knew he must have taken it because it was on the table near the piano during his lesson and wasn't there after he'd left. I phoned his mum and asked if he'd taken it home 'by mistake'. She said she would ask him and ten minutes later they were both at my door with the eraser and mum stood by while son apologised. It could have been an embarassing situation, but the mum's response was spot on, I felt.

I quite often accidentally pinch my pupils' pencils and things. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blush.gif) My own children raid the piano room when they need a pencil or something, so I end up with none left and have to ask the pupils to borrow theirs, and end up forgetting to give them back. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif) One mum, whose child kept losing his pencils to me (and ultimately to my kids...) gave me a bundle of pencils, pens, a sharpener and a rubber last Christmas, all wrapped up in red ribbon, and stays for a while every few weeks to sharpen them all for me. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blush.gif)

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) Yes my family pinch pens as well. I wouldn't be too concerned about a pupil going home with something like that, as at the end of the lesson it can easily happen that things they have been using for theory get swept into their folder.

One of my grade 1 pupils accidentally put the grade 8 sightreading book into her bag one day. You know those AB purple ones that all look the same?! I must have had it sitting on the table for someone else.

To her credit she brought it back the following week but had obviously been studying with fascination and had worked out a couple of bars here and there (IMG:style_emoticons/default/party1.gif)

[Violinia]

Most likely she would have hung up the phone, ran upstairs, dragged us down by the arm/hair, marched us round to the teacher's house to apologise and quite possibily not let us go back to lessons at all (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ph34r.gif)

Yes, and I think that mine would have done the same (not that I was like that at all (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ph34r.gif)) It's a bit like swearing - seems so commonplace these days and no one raises an eyebrow - I swore once when I was young, got my mouth soaped out, and never ever did it again!

David

What - you've only sworn once in your entire life???

[Rosemary7391]

Why is that surprising? Just because it seems to be commonplace now doesn't mean there are some people who won't swear for whatever reason.

Pencils/pens are fair game at my school. Kids are forever walking off with any pen a teacher lends to them...

[Violinia]

I once had a student who took home a brand new eraser from my piano room - I knew he must have taken it because it was on the table near the piano during his lesson and wasn't there after he'd left. I phoned his mum and asked if he'd taken it home 'by mistake'. She said she would ask him and ten minutes later they were both at my door with the eraser and mum stood by while son apologised. It could have been an embarassing situation, but the mum's response was spot on, I felt.

I quite often accidentally pinch my pupils' pencils and things. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blush.gif) My own children raid the piano room when they need a pencil or something, so I end up with none left and have to ask the pupils to borrow theirs, and end up forgetting to give them back. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif) One mum, whose child kept losing his pencils to me (and ultimately to my kids...) gave me a bundle of pencils, pens, a sharpener and a rubber last Christmas, all wrapped up in red ribbon, and stays for a while every few weeks to sharpen them all for me. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blush.gif)

Don't you think this the original post was a bit of an overreaction? Children twiddle and fiddle when they're bored; it doesn't mean they're thieves! And unless they're brought up by parents who blatantly lie, cheat and steal themselves and make no attempt to hide it from their children, most children have an innate sense of honesty and fairness. The fact that the children attempted to hide what they took down the sofa later on shows they felt guilty about doing it and were trying to put it right.

The best thing is just not to put that kind of temptation in their way; I'm quite certain that almost any child would have start peering into those drawers out of boredom/twiddliness/curiosity. Children are naturally curious after all and so they should be.

I came home with a pencil from one of my schools the other day; I'll put it back next time I go there but the fact is, I absent-mindedly picked it up when one of mine wasn't immediately to hand, probably because one of my students had probably absent-mindedly put my pencil in his pencil case and gone off with it! Then the school pencil ended up in my pencil case and so it goes on.

Anyway - solution: remove the temptation by putting locks on the drawers, or tell the mum you'd rather the kids didn't hang around there any more. But show a bit of understanding - twiddling and fiddling is what most kids do when they're bored.

[Violinia]

Why is that surprising? Just because it seems to be commonplace now doesn't mean there are some people who won't swear for whatever reason.

It's surprising because it's a natural instinct to utter expletives when things go wrong. Some people say 'sugar', which is a euphenism for a particular swear word. My mother used to say a 'b' word when things went wrong, and still does even though she was very well brought up and is now 88.

I do agree that if we can manage not to swear in front of children we can manage to curb ourselves the rest of the time, but perhaps it can also be a healthy release of tension?

I was at the house of a two teenage pupils and their parents the other night for a social occasion; the kids are 14 and 16 and unbelievably delightful, both of them undoubtedly destined for great things. The father swore as a matter of course on several occasions; the kids didn't bat an eyelid yet they rarely swear. He's a great, very involved dad who disusses anything and everything under the sun with his children.

I don't believe occasional swearing has anything to do with character - you could be an occasional swearer and also be a very good person; you could be someone who never swears yet be a secret serial killer! In the end it's down to personal choice but I instinctively react against people who in my view are overly intolerant of swearing.

Or perhaps I'm just a hopeless degenerate!

[Rosemary7391]

I don't swear as a matter of choice, it is possible! But I've learnt to ignore people around me swearing, unless every other word has 4 letters, which kind of negates the point of swearing. I guess it is better than locking up the frustration, but it shouldn't be routine, I don't think.

[Cyrilla]

Or perhaps I'm just a hopeless degenerate!

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(IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

[Violinia]

Or perhaps I'm just a hopeless degenerate!

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/agree.gif)

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

Takes one to know one, perhaps? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)