Absolutely Furious, snooping pupils Options

[Cyrilla]

Darn!

And there was me, thinking I'd kept that hidden all these years...

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif)

[Violinia]

Most likely she would have hung up the phone, ran upstairs, dragged us down by the arm/hair, marched us round to the teacher's house to apologise and quite possibily not let us go back to lessons at all (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ph34r.gif)

Yes, and I think that mine would have done the same (not that I was like that at all (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ph34r.gif)) It's a bit like swearing - seems so commonplace these days and no one raises an eyebrow - I swore once when I was young, got my mouth soaped out, and never ever did it again!

What - you've only sworn once in your entire life???

Well, let's say that my swearing is extremely mild to what I hear these days.

Well lets say I'm glad you're human after all. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

[Rosemary7391]

And I'm not!? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

[maggiemay]

Don't you think this the original post was a bit of an overreaction? Children twiddle and fiddle when they're bored; it doesn't mean they're thieves! And unless they're brought up by parents who blatantly lie, cheat and steal themselves and make no attempt to hide it from their children, most children have an innate sense of honesty and fairness. The fact that the children attempted to hide what they took down the sofa later on shows they felt guilty about doing it and were trying to put it right.

No I don't think it's an overreaction at all. Things like this seem small and insignificant now, but grow into bigger things later. If it's not stamped on now, what kind of message does that give to the children?

I agree - it seemed a bit different from accidentally walking off with someone else's pencil.
And also - if my impression is correct - had been taking place over several weeks?

[tasha.t]

Don't you think this the original post was a bit of an overreaction? Children twiddle and fiddle when they're bored; it doesn't mean they're thieves! And unless they're brought up by parents who blatantly lie, cheat and steal themselves and make no attempt to hide it from their children, most children have an innate sense of honesty and fairness. The fact that the children attempted to hide what they took down the sofa later on shows they felt guilty about doing it and were trying to put it right.

No I don't think it's an overreaction at all. Things like this seem small and insignificant now, but grow into bigger things later. If it's not stamped on now, what kind of message does that give to the children?

I agree - it seemed a bit different from accidentally walking off with someone else's pencil.
And also - if my impression is correct - had been taking place over several weeks?

Thank you maggie and dcmbarton, I don't think I have over-reacted but I don't want things to get worse. I don't let my children rifle through other people's things but if I found out that they did they would be made to return the items immediately and write a letter of apology at the very least. Yes maggiemay, it has been going on a little while now and I should have nipped it in the bud sooner but last week was the first time I could be really sure. I am sure they felt guilty which is why the items were 'found'. It is not the cost or even the items themselves which has upset me, it is the principle that I am trying to help the family by having the siblings together and this is what happens. I now have to put locks on my desk and remember to remove other items before their lesson each week now.

thaks for your support,

Tasha

[Ayshah]

Don't you think this the original post was a bit of an overreaction? Children twiddle and fiddle when they're bored; it doesn't mean they're thieves! And unless they're brought up by parents who blatantly lie, cheat and steal themselves and make no attempt to hide it from their children, most children have an innate sense of honesty and fairness. The fact that the children attempted to hide what they took down the sofa later on shows they felt guilty about doing it and were trying to put it right.

No I don't think it's an overreaction at all. Things like this seem small and insignificant now, but grow into bigger things later. If it's not stamped on now, what kind of message does that give to the children?

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/agree.gif)

Being curious is fine. Actually picking up and taking away something that does not belong to you (and you have not asked for it) is just plain wrong.

As to Pens!

For some peculiar reason my son could only write comfortably with a fountain pen. For five years at Secondary School he was plagued by constant theft of his pens! He would have a hysterical fit (Aspergers) if he had to write with a biro or pencil. The staff never took it seriously, by Year 11 they felt he should have learnt to write with a wretched biro. The kids (boys only school) continued to pinch his fountain pens. It was a guaranteed way to create a distraction in class. It was very very difficult for our son to understand why they were stealing his pens and why they were not getting into trouble for doing so, when we were working hard at home to explain to him that taking without permission is wrong.

[ad_libitum]

Yes I wouldn't mind about the odd pencil being taken as a mistake, but rifling through other peoples' drawers is a different matter... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/dry.gif)

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif)

[jenny]

Being curious is fine. Actually picking up and taking away something that does not belong to you (and you have not asked for it) is just plain wrong.

I agree. The boy I mentioned earlier, who took a new eraser from my table, had not been using it for theory - he obviously just took a fancy to it. I didn't know him well enough to know if he'd done this kind of thing before, but if I'd just let it go, wouldn't that have encouraged him to think he could do that kind of thing again? I was very pleased with his mum's response and felt that it was a good lesson for him.

[Dulciana]

Yes I wouldn't mind about the odd pencil being taken as a mistake, but rifling through other peoples' drawers is a different matter... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/dry.gif)

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif)

I'd agree with this. If something's sitting on the piano then it's fair game for 'accidental removal', but actually opening closed drawers is an invasion of privacy. Quite possibly, they didn't mean much harm, but what if they'd found something in there that would have caused the the teacher great embarrassment? Closed drawers are closed drawers and other people, children or otherwise, should be made to understand that it's not acceptable to be nosy!

[Violinia]

And I'm not!? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

Well you did describe swearing as possibly better than locking up the frustration so you're definitely human!

[Morgan's Munchkin]

Pencils/pens are fair game at my school. Kids are forever walking off with any pen a teacher lends to them...

At our school (particularly in the music department), it's the other way round!! I've already said that at the end of term I'm going in with a big box to claim back all my stolen stuff!

[Violinia]

Thank you maggie and dcmbarton, I don't think I have over-reacted but I don't want things to get worse. I don't let my children rifle through other people's things but if I found out that they did they would be made to return the items immediately and write a letter of apology at the very least. Yes maggiemay, it has been going on a little while now and I should have nipped it in the bud sooner but last week was the first time I could be really sure. I am sure they felt guilty which is why the items were 'found'. It is not the cost or even the items themselves which has upset me, it is the principle that I am trying to help the family by having the siblings together and this is what happens. I now have to put locks on my desk and remember to remove other items before their lesson each week now.

thaks for your support,

Tasha

Oh they definitely shouldn't have done it, but kids do have a propensity to fiddle with other people's stuff given half the chance. Well brought up children know it's wrong and will tend to put things back, but what you don't want to do is fill them with shame because that can make them feel they're 'bad' so they might as well carry on being bad because that's what the grown-ups think they are anyway....

In other words, it's the action you want to condemn, not the child.

On the other hand, children who have a serious stealing problem generally suffer from psychological problems - isn't it usually something to do with needing and not getting unconditional love? Unconditional love being 'something for nothing' and the stealing is a (crazy and misguided) attempt to replicate that?

I sometimes give stickers out in my primary schools, and one of the children often tries to take extra stickers. I've been told she has serious emotional problems and a very tricky home life - it figures. Not that this means I let her get away with taking extra stickers: I say 'hey! you've taken too many stickers, come on I said two each and it's not fair if you take more - please put it back.' And she puts it back. But what I don't to do is fill her with shame - because in the long run that wouldn't help her at all.

So what I was trying to say was: don't amplify it into a massive thing but remove the temptation. I certainly wouldn't put a load of tempting things within reach of children who may or not be compulsive fiddlers or (possibly psychologically motivated) pilferers and expect nothing to happen.......

Sadly, these days there seem to be an awful lot of restless and/or complicated children around...

[Rosemary7391]

And I'm not!? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

Well you did describe swearing as possibly better than locking up the frustration so you're definitely human!

Wow! It makes a change, someone thinks I'm human (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) !

Pencils/pens are fair game at my school. Kids are forever walking off with any pen a teacher lends to them...

At our school (particularly in the music department), it's the other way round!! I've already said that at the end of term I'm going in with a big box to claim back all my stolen stuff!

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) I keep a pile of theory books and stuff in the music block. Now including an electronics book! That stuff is fair game for any teacher who wants to borrow it (Useful as most people 'forget' their harmony book, so they use mine thats conveniently on the shelf)
I don't think I've ever seen a pupil lend a teacher something. It just doesn't happen here.....

[musicmanNZ]

Reading this has brought back a memory - many many years ago as about a 4yr old my Mum, after a trip to Woolworths together found me clutching a sweet in my hot little hand, taken from those gloriously colourful big 'pick and mix' bins that used to be on display.

Back to the shop I was taken to confront the sales assistant and declare " I'm sorry I stole this sweet" I have no idea what winking and collusion was going on between my Mum and her but to this day I can remember the cold shiver of fright that ran through me when she said " now can you give me one reason why I don't call the police"

Tough - maybe but hey, to this day, I don't think I've ever knowingly taken another thing!! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blush.gif)

musicman's mum

[Robodoc]

I would be quite mad in your position. To be honest, I don't think I'd actually want them in the house again.

David

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/agree.gif)
Thieves are thieves and, if caught, should pay the consequences. Then they will have learned something (besides music). If they go unpunished they will learn that they can get away with it. If the culprit is really contrite they can always find another teacher. Somehow, I doubt it.