Music Jokes......, What's your favourite? Options

[fsharpminor]

More Viola Jokes on:-

http://www.mit.edu/~jcb/jokes/viola.html

[all ears]

Viohazard liked the violist's clef in your link.

His comment:

Take three bars of music written on a single staff and put them in front of a composer, a singer, a violist and a guitarist.

The composer sees it in 4D, with harmonies and descants invisible to the naked eye. The singer sees dynamics where none are written. The violist sees mostly mystery...and the guitarist says:

"Funniest damn TAB I've ever seen..."

[fsharpminor]

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)
In fact the site I mentioned above can be 'modifed' by changing viola to any instrument.

[katica]

This made me laugh today: (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

(IMG:http://euge.ca/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Interruption.png)

EDIT:

When you've worked it out, go and enjoy freda_bloogs' post again here, which I only just found.

[ansatz496]

This made me laugh today: (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

(IMG:http://euge.ca/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Interruption.png)

EDIT:

When you've worked it out, go and enjoy freda_bloogs' post again here, which I only just found.

I saw that cartoon on Facebook just a few hours ago (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

[pianoeater]

Beethoven has died, and been buried. Several months later, people start to hear strange sounds coming from his grave.
Concerned, they consult the priest, who goes to see for himself. Standing by the grave, he realises that what he's hearing is Beethoven's 9th played backwards. The next week he returns, only to realise that now, he's hearing Beethoven's 8th, again played backwards. Puzzled, he returns on the third week, and now he hears the 6th, again backwards.
He calls for a public meeting. The worried populace file in, sit down, and await his verdict.
This is nothing to worry about, he tells them. It's just Beethoven decomposing.

SORRY (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wacko.gif)

Pahahahaha. You really should be aye (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

[principal4]

How many flautists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one - she holds it, and the world revolves around her!

They also tell that one about sopranos...

[principal4]

Q. What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
>
>
A. A flat minor

-And one for the organists on board-

Q. What do you call a short headmaster?
>
>
A. A 4-foot principal (IMG:style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif)

Like it! Was just wondering where the organ and organist jokes were.

P4 (who's not a headmaster)

[fsharpminor]

Maybe this is worth another airing, its a true story, but probably been on here before.

There is a story, quite possibly apocryphal, of the cathedral organist who had to go and check out a cipher after the service, leaving his assistant at the console. While the assistant is waiting for instructions, a little old lady from the congregation wanders over, and starts asking questions.

' What do all these knobs do? Why is this one called an tuba?' etc. Assistant patiently gives a little demonstration.

'And this one - the Vox Humana? What's that one like?'
'It's supposed to sound like the human voice..' ( gives a short twiddle, of the type that might generate a swift short slap from Edwardo's son's teacher)

Disembodied voice from somewhere up among the organ pipes: 'What the f*$!!&*'s going on?'

Little old lady 'My word! That's very realistic!'

[mcm]

cribbed from another site.... apparently true:

A certain choir was rehearsing one of Stanford's stickier pieces when the choir director noiced a kerfuffle in the organ loft. He called up, "Mr. Y, is there a problem?" Came the peeved reply, "Yes! My pedal light is out!" Silence followed for a moment, then- "Mr. Y, Bach never had a pedal light!"

To which Mr. Y retorted, "Bach never had to play Stanford in G!"

---

I also like this:

Organists' Biographies - What They Really Mean

"A rising star" = About to disappear out of orbit and never be seen or heard of again.

"Highly sought after" = Wanted by the Inland Revenue for not declaring earnings from recitals.

"Featured on Radio 3's Choral Evensong" = Played a chord at the start of the choir's unaccompanied anthem.

"Has played at Westminster Abbey" = An organist there gave him ten minutes at the console after the building closed one evening.

"International recitalist" = Once went on a day trip to Paris and visited Notre-Dame, where he played a few notes on the chamade reeds.

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

[VH2]

It has probably been told already, but my favourite is:

Q: What do you call sopmeone that hangs around with musicians
A: A drummer

[saxophile]

Not jokes, exactly, but some great quotations:

"Brass bands are all very well in their place - outdoors and several miles away" (Sir Thomas Beecham)

"Are you producing as much sound as possible from that quaint and antique drainage system which you are applying to your face?" (Sir Thomas Beecham to a trombonist)


Richard Strauss (conducting): "Tuba, too loud again!"

Violinist: "Maestro, he's not here today"

Strauss: "Well, you tell him, once he's back!"


(IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

[Roseau]

Richard Strauss (conducting): "Tuba, too loud again!"

Violinist: "Maestro, he's not here today"

Strauss: "Well, you tell him, once he's back!"


(IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)
This is how I think one of my conductors feels about the oboe (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ph34r.gif)

[stopperman]

Q. What is perfect pitch?

A. The ability to lob your set of bagpipes into a skip without it touching the sides.

Q. What is relative perfect pitch ?

A. Your mother chucks it in, but with the same degree of accuracy.


Q. What is a true gentleman ?

A. A man who can play the bagpipes - but doesn't.



When the organist plays the last verse on flutes-chorus and Bourdon, you can be sure that he thinks there's another verse to come, if only because of the way he's eyeing up the stop jambs while he plays the last bar.

CB - Durham UK

[Aeolienne]

"Brass bands are all very well in their place - outdoors and several miles away" (Sir Thomas Beecham)

Q. How do you make a bandstand?

A.Take all their chairs away.