Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

> Forums Rules

A shortened version of the Forums Rules is given below. The full version can be found here.

By maintaining a user account and by posting to these forums, you hereby agree to abide by these rules.

FORUMS RULES - A SNAPSHOT
- Stay safe - protect your privacy and respect the privacy of others
- No abusive, offensive or aggressive postings
- No insults or personal attacks
- No foul language
- No trolling
- No inappropriate or illegal material
- No advertising (including "For Sale" or "Wanted" adverts)
- No crossposting
- No forum spamming
- No defamatory comments
- Avoid using jargon, abbreviations or "text talk"

2 Pages V  1 2 >  
Reply to this topicStart new topic
> Musical Jokes, Does anyone have any?
DString
post Dec 21 2007, 07:46 PM
Post #1


Advanced Member
***

Group: Members
Posts: 455
Joined: 4-September 06
From: Lincoln
Member No.: 7593



Anyone have any good Musical Jokes?
I've got one......

Mozart Beyond the Grave

When Mozart passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Mozart was buried.

Terrified, the drunk ran and got the town magistrate to come and listen to it.



When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Mozart's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."



He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."



So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."



Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Mozart decomposing."

(Its abit long)

Daisy xxx

User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
ad_libitum
post Dec 21 2007, 08:14 PM
Post #2


Virtuoso
*****

Group: Members
Posts: 2438
Joined: 17-December 06
From: N.Ireland
Member No.: 8699



(IMG:http://members.tripod.com/playitagaindamon/_borders/Schro_animation.gif)

If this has worked the cartoon should play (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
superpyroman
post Dec 21 2007, 08:25 PM
Post #3


Prodigy
****

Group: Members
Posts: 1713
Joined: 28-October 05
From: the land where the bong trees grow
Member No.: 5120



What's the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
The Tradge
post Dec 21 2007, 08:58 PM
Post #4


Advanced Member
***

Group: Members
Posts: 254
Joined: 18-January 07
Member No.: 9107



QUOTE(superpyroman @ Dec 21 2007, 08:25 PM) *

What's the difference between a viola and a trampoline?


You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline


Q: Whats the difference between a viola and an onion?
A: Nobody cries when you chop up a viola (IMG:style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif)
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
barry-clari
post Dec 21 2007, 10:28 PM
Post #5


Maestro
******

Group: Members
Posts: 40577
Joined: 10-January 06
From: South East London
Member No.: 5804



Can I tell you all my clarinet/lightbulb joke again?

Please, please, please?

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Car Expert
post Dec 21 2007, 10:30 PM
Post #6


Maestro
******

Group: Members
Posts: 30699
Joined: 15-May 05
From: UK - rural North Norfolk\East Anglia. Lincoln 104 miles. Ipswich 66 miles. Oxford 193 miles. Lewes 199 miles.
Member No.: 3680



QUOTE(barry-clari @ Dec 21 2007, 10:28 PM) *
Can I tell you all my clarinet/lightbulb joke again?

Please, please, please?

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)
Go on then... I don't even know what it is anyway (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

Car Expert
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
barry-clari
post Dec 21 2007, 10:32 PM
Post #7


Maestro
******

Group: Members
Posts: 40577
Joined: 10-January 06
From: South East London
Member No.: 5804



QUOTE(Car Expert @ Dec 21 2007, 10:30 PM) *

QUOTE(barry-clari @ Dec 21 2007, 10:28 PM) *
Can I tell you all my clarinet/lightbulb joke again?

Please, please, please?

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)
Go on then... I don't even know what it is anyway (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

Car Expert


(IMG:style_emoticons/default/yay.gif)

How many clarinettists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just the one, but they have to go through the whole box to find just the right one.

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
The Old Lady
post Dec 21 2007, 10:37 PM
Post #8


Unregistered









QUOTE(barry-clari @ Dec 21 2007, 10:32 PM) *

QUOTE(Car Expert @ Dec 21 2007, 10:30 PM) *

QUOTE(barry-clari @ Dec 21 2007, 10:28 PM) *
Can I tell you all my clarinet/lightbulb joke again?

Please, please, please?

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)
Go on then... I don't even know what it is anyway (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

Car Expert


(IMG:style_emoticons/default/yay.gif)

How many clarinettists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just the one, but they have to go through the whole box to find just the right one.

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)


Sorry Barry, I don't get that. Can you explain please??
Bev xx
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
ben_walker446
post Dec 21 2007, 10:39 PM
Post #9


Virtuoso
*****

Group: Members
Posts: 4860
Joined: 10-December 05
From: Stoke-on-trent
Member No.: 5524



QUOTE(The Old Lady @ Dec 21 2007, 10:37 PM) *

QUOTE(barry-clari @ Dec 21 2007, 10:32 PM) *

QUOTE(Car Expert @ Dec 21 2007, 10:30 PM) *

QUOTE(barry-clari @ Dec 21 2007, 10:28 PM) *
Can I tell you all my clarinet/lightbulb joke again?

Please, please, please?

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)
Go on then... I don't even know what it is anyway (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

Car Expert


(IMG:style_emoticons/default/yay.gif)

How many clarinettists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just the one, but they have to go through the whole box to find just the right one.

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)


Sorry Barry, I don't get that. Can you explain please??
Bev xx

I thought you said Sorry babe then (IMG:style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif)

and I guess it's a reed joke?

User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
barry-clari
post Dec 21 2007, 10:41 PM
Post #10


Maestro
******

Group: Members
Posts: 40577
Joined: 10-January 06
From: South East London
Member No.: 5804



QUOTE(ben_walker446 @ Dec 21 2007, 10:39 PM) *

QUOTE(The Old Lady @ Dec 21 2007, 10:37 PM) *

QUOTE(barry-clari @ Dec 21 2007, 10:32 PM) *

QUOTE(Car Expert @ Dec 21 2007, 10:30 PM) *

QUOTE(barry-clari @ Dec 21 2007, 10:28 PM) *
Can I tell you all my clarinet/lightbulb joke again?

Please, please, please?

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)
Go on then... I don't even know what it is anyway (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

Car Expert


(IMG:style_emoticons/default/yay.gif)

How many clarinettists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just the one, but they have to go through the whole box to find just the right one.

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)


Sorry Barry, I don't get that. Can you explain please??
Bev xx

I thought you said Sorry babe then (IMG:style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif)

and I guess it's a reed joke?


Yep! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
The Old Lady
post Dec 21 2007, 10:42 PM
Post #11


Unregistered









So clarinettists have trouble finding their fave reeds then??
Bev (IMG:style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif)
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
ben_walker446
post Dec 21 2007, 10:44 PM
Post #12


Virtuoso
*****

Group: Members
Posts: 4860
Joined: 10-December 05
From: Stoke-on-trent
Member No.: 5524



QUOTE(The Old Lady @ Dec 21 2007, 10:42 PM) *

So clarinettists have trouble finding their fave reeds then??
Bev (IMG:style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif)

Generally in a box of 10 reeds there will be 2 or 3 which one regards as good!

How many altos does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10, 1 to screw it in and 9 to say how they can't get that high!
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
lizbun
post Dec 22 2007, 08:56 AM
Post #13


Virtuoso
*****

Group: Members
Posts: 4772
Joined: 11-July 06
From: somewhere
Member No.: 7250



Haha (IMG:style_emoticons/default/rofl.gif)
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Miss Ross
post Dec 22 2007, 09:36 AM
Post #14


Unregistered









QUOTE(barry-clari @ Dec 21 2007, 10:32 PM) *
How many clarinettists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just the one, but they have to go through the whole box to find just the right one.

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)
I genuinely don't want to offend anyone, and hope you've heard these before! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

How many 2nd violins does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

There's no point in even asking them - they can't get that high anyway.


How many flautists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, and the world revolves around her.


Why is it a crime to roll a car with a cello in it off a cliff?

You could easily fit 2 cellos in.

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/ph34r.gif)
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
The Tradge
post Dec 22 2007, 10:21 AM
Post #15


Advanced Member
***

Group: Members
Posts: 254
Joined: 18-January 07
Member No.: 9107



*gasps* How very dare you, please! Cellos own your @ss! =P
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
« Next Oldest · Forums Cafe · Next Newest »
 

2 Pages V  1 2 >
Reply to this topicStart new topic

 



Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 25th May 2013 - 07:43 AM