Would You Teach Your Neighbour's Child? Options

[barbara]

T (IMG:style_emoticons/default/dry.gif) he neighbours on either side of my house each have a 6 and a half year old child.
They have both mentioned that when the children are 7 they would like me to give them piano lesson.
We are very friendly with one of the neighbours and the child calls me auntie d and on the other side we are quite friendly and so far the child doesn't call me anything because they are relatively new neighbours.I have always felt it would be better to keep social and professional separate as it could cause problems if the lessons don't work out on either mine or the child's side.
Does anyone have any thoughts on this?

[Babybird2]

Can't give any advice but a friend of mine used to have lessons from her piano teacher who lived next door. She constantly got told off because her teacher could hear that she hadn't practised (IMG:style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif)

They moved the piano to the other side of the room (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

[sbhoa]

As long as you begin by making the business side of the relationship clear then I'd give it a go.
Let them know your terms and conditions and if you feel it would help then you could say that you'd like to go for a trial period to make sure that the children do see your role as teacher in maybe a different way to a neighbour and family friend.
For many teachers this is the way they start off.

[SueHM]

I teach several near neighbours, and it has been fine so far. As others have said, treat as any other teacher-pupil relationship, but be very clear about expectations from the outset. It could work out extremely well - it has for me so far. My pupils all come to me for lessons, but it is easy to pop round to neighbours for the occasional change of scene.

Just a word of warning - start as you mean to go on with the business side of things (perhaps easier as there are 2 who will be starting at the same time) and don't let the fact that they are neighbours lead to yo being taken advantage of - use the same T + Cs as for your other pupils etc.

[Violinia]

I wouldn't worry about it too much. I've taught loads of friends' and neighbours' children; sometimes it has worked out and sometimes it hasn't but when it hasn't, the friendship with the parents and/or the child hasn't altered at all.

There can be some embarrassment on the part of the child who has decided to give up, and they may try and avoid you for a while because they feel awkward or guilty but if this happens the onus is on you the teacher to make it 100% clear that it won't affect your connection or friendship with them at all. If you go out of your way to treat them exactly the same and show that there aren't any 'hard feelings' whatsoever, the child can then relax and be the same with you as they were before.

I've heard several stories from children I've taught that peris who used to teach them started blanking them when they gave up; I find this quite shocking - after all it's the child's choice and it's incredibly immature of the peris to show resentment. Only today I saw a child in a school who gave up last year, and made a big point of saying 'hi C*****!' so she'd know everything was fine. She said 'hi' and gave me a big smile back which is how it should be, and so it should be with neighbour ex-students.

[A.U.K]

Whilst in principal I fully agree with the others that it should be fine there is a lot to be said for keeping a slight distance nd retaining a professional relationship...Now that was how it was when I was a child in the dark ages when everything was far more formal...did it work well yes it did...was it overly friendly...no not in the least...I don't have happy memories of my first teacher (piano) she was ghastly and she felt precisely the same about me I suppose...

Today everything seems more relaxed and it seems that pupils call teachers by their first name in some instances which seems alien to me but thats the way of the world.

I would urge a word of caution...some parents can be very silly and heaven forbid that their little treasure should be admonished for not practicing or trying even, and being neighbours this could cause problems if they feel that you have been a tad firm. Get some realistic ideas of what they expect from the lessons and see how it goes and don't hold back from telling them that practice is essential and that the child has to work if not for hours a day at least regularly to see improvement. Once they have that instilled in their heads and accept that even Mozart had to practice to get where he did...and that their beloved child HAS to practice.

Get a sample lesson and see how they fayre...they may hate it..however if they wish to continue get your normal terms and conditions and contract signed and take it from there...don't do mates rates...its bound to suffer and undermine your posistion as a serious professional keep it business and you won't go far wrong..

Good luck

Andrew

[PianoDoodler]

I have taught neighbours' children without this causing difficulties.

Treat the kids kindly and there will be no long-term difficulties if lessons do not suit the child. Short-term embarrassment is easily overcome by a bright, "Hello, how are you these days" when you meet a 'failure'. Basically, kids just want to be loved.

Like the rest of us, really.

[Violinia]

I have taught neighbours' children without this causing difficulties.

Treat the kids kindly and there will be no long-term difficulties if lessons do not suit the child. Short-term embarrassment is easily overcome by a bright, "Hello, how are you these days" when you meet a 'failure'. Basically, kids just want to be loved.

Like the rest of us, really.

It's funny you should say that. Many years ago I used to be afraid of kids - weird, huh? I thought they could see clearly into the evil that was me - so I kept my distance from them and of course they thought I was weird and unapproachable - why wouldn't they?

Then (to my amazement)I had a baby and slowly I began to realise that all kids want is to be - well, liked. And bit by bit I began to 'get' kids more and more as I was surrounded by them on a daily basis all of a sudden, at mother-and-baby groups, toddler groups, playgroups, then school, then all over my house - then finally I started teaching them violin, first at home and now in schools. And now I can honestly say I adore kids - pretty much all of them - of all ages right up to stroppy, chaotic teenagers. And you know what - they all have one thing in common - they pretty much all just want you to be genuinely interested in them and they all just want to be liked for themselves. If you think back to when you were a kid, who are the adults, family and otherwise - who stood out? The ones who took a genuine interest, were kind, and liked you for yourself - it really is as simple as that.

I also remember the adults I didn't like - and they were the ones who didn't seem to like kids that much, or never really looked at you properly or took any interest in you. Unfortunately back in the 50s a lot of English adults were like that - children were still pretty much 'seen and not heard', so no wonder so many kids grew up alienated from their families and from older people in general. Things have changed a lot and though some of the 'respect' has gone out the window, I think it was largely based on fear and wasn't always deserved in any case. Why should an adult be worthy of respect just because they're older and for no other reason?

I also think calling instrumental teachers by their first names is all to the good - long may it continue. I always called my violin teacher by her first name but then she was Hungarian. Before her I had one piano teacher and two violin teachers (all very short-lived). They were all English and all wanted to be called by their titles and surnames. Weird!

For the record my first violin teacher (a Mr. ?) said my fingers would have to bleed before I could become a good violinist, and the piano teacher (a Mr Fenton) threatened to burst all my party balloons (it was my birthday) if I played a wrong note. Wonderful! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif)

[Dulciana]

My first pupil was a neighbour, and the next few after that were all people that I knew. I never had any problems except for the odd time, when the mum was out, the dad forgot to send them over for the lesson!

[pikkoloflautist]

For the record my first violin teacher (a Mr. ?) said my fingers would have to bleed before I could become a good violinist, and the piano teacher (a Mr Fenton) threatened to burst all my party balloons (it was my birthday) if I played a wrong note. Wonderful! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif)

Wow, my flute teacher used to clothes-peg my nose to stop me breathing through it and managed to chip one of my front teeth when she pushed the instrument up (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ph34r.gif)

[Crotchetymum]

My first piano teacher, when I was about 7, lived a few doors down from us. She was my teacher until I went to secondary school, so it must have been alright for both of us (and she lived just far enough away not to hear whether I was practising or not).

[barbara]

Thank you all for your positive replies. Perhaps I will now re-think things when the time comes.
Barbara

[4tissimo]

Thank you all for your positive replies. Perhaps I will now re-think things when the time comes.
Barbara

It is also worth considering what you will do if they don't pay! I used to teach a neighbours child and payment was always late but when she gave up they still owed me ?40. This was three years ago and despite regular letters and reminders it has never been forthcoming. Now the mother blanks me whenever she sees me. Very awkward with a close neighbour. I decided after that that I would not do it again.

[miffy]

I have also taught many children of friends and neighbours without any extra problems than usual. As others have said, be clear about your T&C.
At least you know they won't complain about your teaching/practice next door (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

[Minstrel]

I live and run a busy teaching practice in a rural area where I know the families of many of my pupils, both past and present through other areas of our lives and families. I keep the professional side of my life as businesslike as possible (including Ts&Cs, invoicing, newsletters, parents' evenings, reports etc) and also make a conscious effort to keep my social contacts alive and flourishing. In our area, if I only taught families I don't know I would have a much smaller teaching practice!