How Do You Cope With Frustration? Options

[Markey78]

After recently starting to learn violin, I find it really rewarding, and frustrating in equal measures!

The theory side of it (at the start that is) I find easy, but playing is not going at the same rate (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)
I sometimes get that frustrated that i want to give up, but i stick with it and when i finally get it right, I play the piece for hours and really enjoy it.

Is there a more constuctive way to deal with it? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wacko.gif)

ABRSMs tips are helpfull, but when you work full time you can only practice when your tired! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

[anacrusis]

I know the feeling of frustration only too well, and the only thing I can think of is: don't expect too much of yourself. The mere fact that you can get things to go right means that whatever you're trying to do will happen for you at some stage, just with music more than almost any other discipline, it's never an overnight phenomenon. Being able to persist with often very small sections of music can reap dividends - it's boring at times, but as you play, try to listen to what you're doing (not easy, there's enough multi-tasking going on already (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)), and if you hear something where the tuning doesn't sound right, or transition from note to note isn't neat, or your timing is uneven, especially if it seems to happen like that every time you try to play it, then stop, and work on the tuning of one or two notes, or transitions for a very few, or the rhythms, whatever it is that didn't go right. Playing something right through helps you to get an idea of the shape of your piece and where it's going, what its mood is etc: doing the itsy bitsy work gets the technical side up and running, and will benefit the next piece you try out too.

I hope the rewards build up for you: I know they did for me (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif).

[primrose]

If you only started recently, and yet you can play some pieces well enough to really enjoy them, you are doing better than most of us! Everyone who ever learned the violin as an adult has got frustrated and thought of giving up, especially in the early stages. Your solution (sticking with it and enjoying what progress you do make) is the only one that works. I have tried not practising for a few days, but that doesn't seem to help at all ...

[Alicia Ocean]

My guitar teacher reminds me every lesson that it's a "long term project" - about 12 years to get good, he says. He's filling this time with pin steps - tiny increases in my technical ability. (Last lesson we spent half the time rotating my thumb in an eliptical manner while strumming random bass notes.) Focusing on a tiny technical aspect and working slowly to get it perfect is such a valuable pathway, and one that's often neglected in the rush to play more advanced pieces. I keep inspired by my struggle to play very simple pieces as beautifully as possible. As adults we have the advantage of being able to see the sense in this.

Is there a more constuctive way to deal with it?

I'd recommend More technical work. More scales, played slowly and beautifully works on guitar, I don't know about your instrument.

[Lizzy violin]

I get very impatient learning the violin.

I find that every now and then I just end up crying!

No, it's not constructive but it is a release just like screaming or whatever.

Then I think it just starts building up again. But I think generally I am realy quite an impatient and frustrated person which isn't exactly ideal when lerning an instrument.

I've just taken up a second instrument and I'm finding switching between them is quite good. If I get wound up by one I play the other for a bit. Seems to work.

So I'm finding it's best to do something different for a bit if something frustrates me too much as you can't really learn very well in such a state.

[Arundodonuts]

A couple of things I definitely agree with here

Focusing on a tiny technical aspect and working slowly to get it perfect is such a valuable pathway, and one that's often neglected in the rush to play more advanced pieces. I keep inspired by my struggle to play very simple pieces as beautifully as possible.

I'd recommend More technical work. More scales, played slowly and beautifully works on guitar, I don't know about your instrument.

I play oboe and I'm sure the same applies. If you are getting frustrated it's because you are finding something very (too?) hard. So go back to something simpler and try to play it more beautifully than ever. Concentrate on tone, articulation or dynamics. It will make you feel good to be producing a nice sound and it's never wasted effort even on the simplest piece or study.

If you really must get that problem piece nailed, break it down. Look at the problems, not the whole piece and concentrate on getting those bits sorted out. Slow it down - right down. No, slower than that. OK, now build it up again.

If all else fails, I sometimes just move on (back) to some area of technique which I know is still lacking and work on that for a bit (getting a really smooth legato between a couple of tricky notes in a scale for instance is very satisfying).

I think the key is variety.

[jinxi]

I get frustrated too. Only this morning, I heard a song being played in a shop and thought 'oh when will I be able to play something like that, oh it's not worth it, it will be so long etc etc...'

Every time those kinds of thoughts creep in, I just try to block them. I think about what I have achieved since I started back (am returner to the piano) 18 months ago and try to focus on that instead.

Some people think I am mad taking exams as an adult (have taken four in the last 18 months) but it gives me something to focus on, a little, achievable hurdle to jump over! Obviously if you're starting out, exams can't always be goals, but with my jazz piano (I'm a complete beginner with that) I set myself goals like being able to play that song by next month or five standards by Christmas, that kind of thing.

[miss sooky]

Another vote for the slow it all down approach. When I want to scream with frustration, I slow down not only my bowing, scales, pieces etc but also consciously slow down my breathing and relax myself physically. It generally works - I also keep a journal which helps me see all individual episodes and practice sessions in context of a whole. I have evidence of good days, bad days, pride and frustration often in a single week and know that this too shall pass!

[sarah123]

Have you tried shouting at your violin and throwing things? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ph34r.gif)

If that doesn't work, break the thing you're trying to learn into small chunks and learn each bit separately and as slow as it takes.

[katyjay]

Have you tried shouting at your violin and throwing things? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ph34r.gif)

If that doesn't work, break the thing you're trying to learn into small chunks and learn each bit separately and as slow as it takes.

For one horrible moment I misread that to mean "break the violin into small chunks...." (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ph34r.gif)

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)



But as you actually meant one section of the music at a time, that's ok then....

[sarah123]

Have you tried shouting at your violin and throwing things? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ph34r.gif)

If that doesn't work, break the thing you're trying to learn into small chunks and learn each bit separately and as slow as it takes.

For one horrible moment I misread that to mean "break the violin into small chunks...." (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ph34r.gif)

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)



But as you actually meant one section of the music at a time, that's ok then....

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) Well, that would probably help with frustration too...possibly slightly on the drastic side though!

[anacrusis]

It'd also be a nuisance to have to fix everything again before your next attempt at playing (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif).
Sounds like you have so far got a vote for little at a time and slowly from pretty much everyone. The difficulty can be, when you know where you're aiming for with a piece, to stop yourself trying to do that all in one go - oddly enough though, the frustration can and does ease with a few attempts at such patient little-at-a-time work, just because you can see it working. As soon as it's feasible, have a few bits and pieces handy which you can play to your reasonable satisfaction - so that you can go back and remind yourself that you can learn when a piece is being just too much of a pain (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif).

[lottie]

I get very impatient learning the violin.

I find that every now and then I just end up crying!

No, it's not constructive but it is a release just like screaming or whatever.

Then I think it just starts building up again. But I think generally I am realy quite an impatient and frustrated person which isn't exactly ideal when lerning an instrument.

I've just taken up a second instrument and I'm finding switching between them is quite good. If I get wound up by one I play the other for a bit. Seems to work.

So I'm finding it's best to do something different for a bit if something frustrates me too much as you can't really learn very well in such a state.

I agree with Lizzy - I have been reduced to tears with frustration!!! But I am a perfectionist (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blush.gif)

I put it down and walk away and calm down. But I usually go back within ten minutes (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

Breaking everything down into small pieces works wonders.. and so does going back to something you had played a while ago because it lets you see how much you have improved.

[Gorf]

Hello from a fellow adult learner of about six months

If I have problems with my violin I sing and if you could hear me sing you would know how good my violin playing has become (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wub.gif)

[Solari]

ABRSMs tips are helpfull, but when you work full time you can only practice when your tired! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

I know the feeling! I have to cram load of practice in at the end of the day and at weekends (if I'm not working) which gets a bit heavy - but I don't want to feel like I'm wasting my teacher's time so have no choice if I want to get things done (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)