Famous Quotations - Serious And Funny! Options

[stevensfo]

I just discovered an old collection of quotations I must have started years ago. Thought you might like them. Needless to say the funnies are all from Groucho!

Steve

Copy/paste.....


Serious ones:

"It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on his not understanding it."
-Upton Sinclair

"A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain."
-??

"People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf."
-George Orwell

"In our age there is no such thing as 'keeping out of politics'. All issues are political issues."
- George Orwell

"If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear."
--George Orwell

"Speaking the Truth in times of universal deceit is a revolutionary act."
--George Orwell

"All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others."
--George Orwell

“All the war-propaganda, all the screaming and lies and hatred, comes invariably from people who are not fighting.” --George Orwell

“Early in life I had noticed that no event is ever correctly reported in a newspaper”
--George Orwell

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the wrong remedies.”
-- ??


The funny ones:

"A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five."
--Groucho Marx

"From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. "
--Groucho Marx

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book"
--Groucho Marx

"I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER"
--Groucho Marx

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
--Groucho Marx

"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others."
--Groucho Marx

[Solari]

"Unfortunately no, I don't. I find his films about as funny as getting an arrow through the neck, and then discovering there's a gas bill tied to it."

Blackadder

[Arundodonuts]

"Unfortunately no, I don't. I find his films about as funny as getting an arrow through the neck, and then discovering there's a gas bill tied to it."

Blackadder

Of Chaplin yes? I tend to agree.

[stevensfo]

"Unfortunately no, I don't. I find his films about as funny as getting an arrow through the neck, and then discovering there's a gas bill tied to it."

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

Some of the Blackadder lines are hilarious:

“You wouldn't know a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on top of a harpsichord singing 'Subtle Plans Are Here Again.'”

"I'm as poor as a church mouse, that's just had an enormous tax bill on the very day his wife ran off with another mouse, taking all the cheese."

"A man may fight for many things. His country, his friends, his principles, the glistening tear on the cheek of a golden child. But personally, I'd mud-wrestle my own mother for a ton of cash, an amusing clock and a sack of French porn."


Steve

[Solari]

"Unfortunately no, I don't. I find his films about as funny as getting an arrow through the neck, and then discovering there's a gas bill tied to it."

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

Some of the Blackadder lines are hilarious:

"You wouldn't know a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on top of a harpsichord singing 'Subtle Plans Are Here Again."

Steve

Hahaha... I was going to post more but resisted the urge. I'll admit that Blackadder is my hero, I aspire to reach his dizzy heights of sarcastic wit (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

*Goes off to formulate a cunning plan that's cunning as a fox that's professor of cunning at Oxford University*