Famous Quotations - Serious And Funny! Options

[stevensfo]

I just discovered an old collection of quotations I must have started years ago. Thought you might like them. Needless to say the funnies are all from Groucho!

Steve

Copy/paste.....


Serious ones:

"It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on his not understanding it."
-Upton Sinclair

"A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain."
-??

"People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf."
-George Orwell

"In our age there is no such thing as 'keeping out of politics'. All issues are political issues."
- George Orwell

"If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear."
--George Orwell

"Speaking the Truth in times of universal deceit is a revolutionary act."
--George Orwell

"All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others."
--George Orwell

“All the war-propaganda, all the screaming and lies and hatred, comes invariably from people who are not fighting.” --George Orwell

“Early in life I had noticed that no event is ever correctly reported in a newspaper”
--George Orwell

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the wrong remedies.”
-- ??


The funny ones:

"A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five."
--Groucho Marx

"From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. "
--Groucho Marx

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book"
--Groucho Marx

"I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER"
--Groucho Marx

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
--Groucho Marx

"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others."
--Groucho Marx

[enharmonic]

I like the Monster Raving Loony Party's election slogan:

"Vote Loony - you know it makes sense".

Does that party still exist? Will they be fielding candidates at the next election?

I never found Charlie Chaplin that funny, but then I suppose humour dates - though my husband adores P.G.Woodhouse's novels and those were written some time back.

[Digby]

I like the Monster Raving Loony Party's election slogan:

"Vote Loony - you know it makes sense".

Does that party still exist? Will they be fielding candidates at the next election?

I never found Charlie Chaplin that funny, but then I suppose humour dates - though my husband adores P.G.Woodhouse's novels and those were written some time back.

I followed a car at the time the liberal party merged with the social democratic party.

They had 2 bumber stickers in the back window the first read SDP LIBERAL ALLIANCE
the second advertising their local am dram production. MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING