Famous Quotations - Serious And Funny! Options

[stevensfo]

I just discovered an old collection of quotations I must have started years ago. Thought you might like them. Needless to say the funnies are all from Groucho!

Steve

Copy/paste.....


Serious ones:

"It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on his not understanding it."
-Upton Sinclair

"A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain."
-??

"People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf."
-George Orwell

"In our age there is no such thing as 'keeping out of politics'. All issues are political issues."
- George Orwell

"If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear."
--George Orwell

"Speaking the Truth in times of universal deceit is a revolutionary act."
--George Orwell

"All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others."
--George Orwell

“All the war-propaganda, all the screaming and lies and hatred, comes invariably from people who are not fighting.” --George Orwell

“Early in life I had noticed that no event is ever correctly reported in a newspaper”
--George Orwell

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the wrong remedies.”
-- ??


The funny ones:

"A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five."
--Groucho Marx

"From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. "
--Groucho Marx

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book"
--Groucho Marx

"I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER"
--Groucho Marx

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
--Groucho Marx

"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others."
--Groucho Marx

[AmandaL]

Not famous at all, but amusing none the less.

Seen attached to a front gate I walked passed recently:

NO COLD CALLERS PLEASE
(violators will be shot, survivors will be shot again)


Another I read recently, but unattributed:

....success is not magical or mysterious. Success is a result of the consistent application of basic fundamentals to the task in hand.

[Solari]

NO COLD CALLERS PLEASE
(violators will be shot, survivors will be shot again)

I'm surprised the police haven't been round there wanting to search the place for firearms what with the completely barmy times we seem to be living in... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif)