2 Weeks To Go..., pupil meltdown Options

[pianosingkimbo]

I have a problem on my hands. I've entered a lad of 12 for his Grade 1 Jazz Piano. I explained to him that even though we asked for the first week of December, this time will not be concrete, and spoke to his mum saying theres a chance that this week will be full so his exam will be earlier. Alas the typical thing happened, his exam is in 3 weeks time, and I fear he is going to worry about this, which will have an effect on the outcome of the exam.
I've had incidences before with this pupil, where, if he doesn't get something right first time he starts crying and the rest of the lesson pretty much doesn't happen. Generally a real natural with rhythms and improv, I feel he shows a really good jazz spark that will be evident to the examiner. However, there is tidying up to do in some parts of his pieces, and when I tell him he needs to practice these ie 'play much quieter in the solo section,' 'try not to start off so fast,' he takes this as criticism and clams up. I'm sure you're all familiar with the pupil who gets one bit right and will only practice that section.
I've explained to his mum that he needs to practice for this exam, perhaps more so now that we've the added pressure of the exam being closer than anticipated, and of course, I would never have made an entry if he would not have been ready by the earliest week.
I've got 2 more half hour lessons with him this Friday and next, with the possibility of extending these to an hour (if the mum is preapred to pay). What would you do?

[Jane S]

Is it practical to reschedule the exam? Extra lessons will certainly help, but they can be more like practise sessions, but that is clearly what is needed. Talk to the mother, the fact that at 12 he is rather emotionally fragile is a concern. Ask the mother's opinion about whether he has issues which you are unaware of. The 12 year olds I teach are a bit tougher than that, and it may just be how he is, but needs tactfully checking out.

If you really feel that the lad is heading for a bad experience, it is essential that the mother is on your side, and will support a decision to withdraw him from the exam, so he can take it in March. Be positive about what you can do to help, and realistic about what can be achieved. And keep the Mum on your side too!!

[SueHM]

Bear in mind for the future that the jazz exams have a much smaller date band and tend to be towards the beginning of the exam session - I think you can find the dates somewhere on the AB website.

It sounds as though he is more or less ready for this exam, and should pass with a following wind. At 12, I would expect most kids to take the odd criticism or wrong note etc in their stride without having a complete meltdown. Having said that, going ahead with an exam with a psychologically fragile pupil is always a bit of a gamble. Overall, I would favour having a go, but having had a chat with Mum so that she is aware of the situation.

Hopefully, a pass will boost his confidence...

[pianosingkimbo]

Have just had a lesson with said pupil, he absolutely aced the aural and quick studies, he seemed to really enjoy them and he did really well.
Pieces need tidying up and I've set out clearly in his practice note book what he should practice in the last week, but my mind is now 100% at rest.
Thanks for the advice!

[stevensfo]

I'm sure you're all familiar with the pupil who gets one bit right and will only practice that section.

Our youngest used to drive us all crazy with this. How many times I explained to him about practising the difficult bits, but no, they were no fun! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/mad.gif)

Kids vary so much. A friend's son is twelve and I heard that he too sometimes bursts into tears when things go wrong. Perhaps it's better this way than keeping it inside. Our son is extremely sensitive but tends to bottle it all up. The best way I find is to start off with something that goes well, then give lots of praise. The effect of this is often quite dramatic.

Steve

[RoseRodent]

I think that once you are looking down the barrel of the exam for this particular child rather than pick over the tiny bits that you would like to see improved so he can walk out with a better mark that might be counterproductive. We all take things differently, and some people see this kind of constructive criticism as an opportunity to concentrate on something concrete that will help pick up more marks. Others think OMG if the teacher can still tell me so many bits I need to improve I must be awful! They haven't quite mastered that there will always be something else you could have done better. The name of the game at this stage is that he understands that what he is doing is good enough, not so he will sit back and be complacent but that he can relax. Remind him he can play the pieces in any order and get started with what will put him at his ease. Is he actually at risk of failing the exam or are these extra comments about adding on additional marks? If he's at a standard that will pass I'd make sure he understands that.

Have you tried the 3/1 method, for every 1 thing you'd like to criticise can you think of 3 things you can tell him he's doing well? When our brains are in "pass test" mode we are even more likely than usual to just pick at the things that can be improved, and we forget to tell kids what was the best bit. We think they know they can play that bit really well, but it doesn't hurt to keep telling them. Remind him that he couldn't play the "easy" bit before either, and he stuck at it and learned it, so the "hard" bit is no different, it just needs doing.

After the exam is over you can go into all the bits and bobs you'd love to improve and work on them with new repertoire, but I reckon he sounds like he's had a total crisis of confidence that he's doing anything right, and it's time to build him up and inspire him with belief that he can do this.

[jenny]

Have you tried the 3/1 method, for every 1 thing you'd like to criticise can you think of 3 things you can tell him he's doing well? When our brains are in "pass test" mode we are even more likely than usual to just pick at the things that can be improved, and we forget to tell kids what was the best bit. We think they know they can play that bit really well, but it doesn't hurt to keep telling them. Remind him that he couldn't play the "easy" bit before either, and he stuck at it and learned it, so the "hard" bit is no different, it just needs doing.

You're so right!
I have a 15 year-old boy taking Grade 3 in 2 weeks and I have been very hard on him lately, mainly because he's way too 'laid back' and doesn't seem to take much notice of what I tell him. But your words made me realise that I haven't been praising him much for the improvements that he has made. I know I've been comparing him to another 15 year-old who is taking the same exam and who shows really good progress week after week.
Thank you for the timely reminder!! 3/1 it is at the next lesson. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

[stevensfo]

Have you tried the 3/1 method, for every 1 thing you'd like to criticise can you think of 3 things you can tell him he's doing well? When our brains are in "pass test" mode we are even more likely than usual to just pick at the things that can be improved, and we forget to tell kids what was the best bit.

Excellent advice! I had a good example last week when picking our son up after his piano lesson. His teacher started her usual grumbling - this time about his scales. I realised that because I planned to listen to the Aural training CD on the way home, the last thing I needed was a surly uncooperative 13 yr old, so I gave her a quick warning glance and asked about the rest of the exam prep. (She knows us very well!)

She then said how brilliant he was in all his pieces and how he'd improved so much on his sight-reading.

We had a brilliant 30 minutes in the car! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)


Steve