'scared' To Play A List Piece Due To ?low Confidence, can this actually 'happen' and how do you solve it? Options

[jojo]

Hello teachers out there (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

I am not a teacher, I am posting here to see if you experienced teachers have any thoughts/suggestions...

I have been entered for my grade 5 violin exam by my teacher.
I was not sure I was ready, but my teacher does not enter people if he's not sure, so I trust him that he is right, after all his students get distinctions.....

Now, I was not set on what pieces to prepare, but over the past year have been trying to learn 2 pieces from A list, both of which I felt I was not progressing well enough with, first one 'Tambourine' we abandoned, then we stuck to A5 'Giga', thought maybe this could be achievable, but the more I play it the more I think I will never get it as good as I'd like to get it....so 3 lessons ago when my teacher entered me for the exam I said to him that during the Christmas break I have started learning a new A piece, A3 Bagatelle and that I think I am doing much better at this after 2 weeks of learning it than on the Giga after one year of 'trying to get it there'.

He did not like the fact I switch and jump from one piece to another and said I should stick with the Giga, I told him I lack confidence with the Giga, that I really think I will not be able to get it up to a good standard. He thinks I should do this one....

I thought as I've told him I lack confidence in it and I think I will not be able to polish it, that if he makes me stick to it is because he thinks I can, and he probably thinks that even if I don't get it to the standard 'I' would like, it will still be good enough....

I trust him so I am sticking with it, but deep down in myself I feel really depressed about this piece, I keep practicing it every day but I REALLY feel it is not any better than 5 months ago!

I had a break from it to see if this would help and did not look at it for 3 weeks over Christmas break, that did no good.
It is a baroque piece, essentially looks 'easy' but to be played at speed and make it sound nice it's actually hard work!
I don't like it anymore, I DREAD it, I never look forward to play it and I have brought myself to believe I will never (not until I am much more experienced anyway) play it well!

But I keep thinking 'it's all in my head', that I have 'beaten myself' so much over this that I have learnt to believe I will not get it polished, convinced myself so much that I am actually stopping myself from improving unconsciounsly, almost to prove myself 'I was right'

Yet I seem NOT to be able to stop this negative mental status I have put myself in!

Have you had any experiences like this yourselves or with students? Have you found anything which helped quickly and effectively? (the exam is in 2 months, maybe even less, don't have a date yet!)

I have even thought of going to a couple of hypnosis sessions over this, no jokes!

thank you in advance for your thoughts

Jo

[saxgirl]

I've recently read a great book about the psychology of music; 'the inner game of music' it's FAB! and has LOOOOOOOADS of great advice and tips for those of us who have this inner battle going on!

I sometimes ask my pupils to play it really badly on purpose! If you ALLOW yourself to make mistakes, you will usually start to relax and ease the pressure off, and remarkably play better!

Well worth a look (the book I mentioned)


I'm still working on confidence issues and I regularly perform solo and with an ensemble who do regular paid concerts, so don't beat yourself up too much (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)