'scared' To Play A List Piece Due To ?low Confidence, can this actually 'happen' and how do you solve it? Options

[jojo]

Hello teachers out there (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

I am not a teacher, I am posting here to see if you experienced teachers have any thoughts/suggestions...

I have been entered for my grade 5 violin exam by my teacher.
I was not sure I was ready, but my teacher does not enter people if he's not sure, so I trust him that he is right, after all his students get distinctions.....

Now, I was not set on what pieces to prepare, but over the past year have been trying to learn 2 pieces from A list, both of which I felt I was not progressing well enough with, first one 'Tambourine' we abandoned, then we stuck to A5 'Giga', thought maybe this could be achievable, but the more I play it the more I think I will never get it as good as I'd like to get it....so 3 lessons ago when my teacher entered me for the exam I said to him that during the Christmas break I have started learning a new A piece, A3 Bagatelle and that I think I am doing much better at this after 2 weeks of learning it than on the Giga after one year of 'trying to get it there'.

He did not like the fact I switch and jump from one piece to another and said I should stick with the Giga, I told him I lack confidence with the Giga, that I really think I will not be able to get it up to a good standard. He thinks I should do this one....

I thought as I've told him I lack confidence in it and I think I will not be able to polish it, that if he makes me stick to it is because he thinks I can, and he probably thinks that even if I don't get it to the standard 'I' would like, it will still be good enough....

I trust him so I am sticking with it, but deep down in myself I feel really depressed about this piece, I keep practicing it every day but I REALLY feel it is not any better than 5 months ago!

I had a break from it to see if this would help and did not look at it for 3 weeks over Christmas break, that did no good.
It is a baroque piece, essentially looks 'easy' but to be played at speed and make it sound nice it's actually hard work!
I don't like it anymore, I DREAD it, I never look forward to play it and I have brought myself to believe I will never (not until I am much more experienced anyway) play it well!

But I keep thinking 'it's all in my head', that I have 'beaten myself' so much over this that I have learnt to believe I will not get it polished, convinced myself so much that I am actually stopping myself from improving unconsciounsly, almost to prove myself 'I was right'

Yet I seem NOT to be able to stop this negative mental status I have put myself in!

Have you had any experiences like this yourselves or with students? Have you found anything which helped quickly and effectively? (the exam is in 2 months, maybe even less, don't have a date yet!)

I have even thought of going to a couple of hypnosis sessions over this, no jokes!

thank you in advance for your thoughts

Jo

[Rosie91]

I'm not a teacher, but here are some thoughts that might help from my experiences of learning violin...

I found this piece in a collection I have (incidentally, there are loads of other great pieces in it you must try! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) ) and had a go this afternoon. I really like it! Completely out of any exam context, it seems like it will give you a good grounding in the technique you'll need for things like Handel sonatas and Baroque concertos you'll be learning in the not-too-distant future, so that may well be why your teacher's keen for you to learn it.

during the Christmas break I have started learning a new A piece, A3 Bagatelle and that I think I am doing much better at this after 2 weeks of learning it than on the Giga after one year of 'trying to get it there'.

An anecdote that might help you see a positive side to the Giga: in December I did grade 8 violin. The first list piece I learnt was the B piece, which I first tried in August 08. Overall I'd say I 'learnt' this piece and then to some extent unlearnt it by dropping it, three times before the exam. The C piece I started a few months later, and the A piece was the last, I started work on in just after Easter. Technically it seemed the easiest, a bit of a gift for grade 8 and I was just as confident with it as with the other two and indeed 7-ish months is a perfectly decent amount of time to prepare a grade 8 piece. But in the exam my marks were in direct proportion to the amount of time I'd been learning the pieces. I think the B piece was technically the hardest, and until at least October I was expecting it to be disastrous in the exam, but I really think working on a piece over a long period of time gives you an edge when nerves could otherwise get the better of you in an exam situation. For what it's worth, at the point in time before the exam equivalent to where you are now, I thought the whole thing was going to be a disaster, but I more or less just kept doing what I was doing and in the end came out with a distinction. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

As others have said, dropping the piece and coming back to it will help. For two days, a week, even 2 weeks, it won't do you any harm to just concentrate on the other things you have to learn and this piece will be the better for it.

the notes in themselves in the piece are easy, it's just that its supposed to be played relatively 'speedy' (its at 'presto' tempo) and when I gain the speed the notes don't sound clear enough, intonation at times suffers and bow does not create the good tone all the time, the quick string crossing found 3 times in the piece (over a few bars) also does not sound as clean as I would like it to be, I keep hitting the neighbouring string every slightly now and again

This blog by Clayton Haslop on violinist.com might give you some ideas about your string-crossing troubles. Other than that, has your teacher ever talked to you about a practice technique involving singing the tune out loud while fingering the left hand only? among other things, it can work wonders on the clarity problems you describe. If not, I'll explain it in more detail - it's just a bit complicated to get down in writing!


Best of luck anyway.
Rosie.