Brothers Or Sisters, Should they sit in? Options

[Debbie]

I put this in the Adult learners forum by mistake and don't know how to move it here. I'll try and remember what I put....

Basicly, does anyone have advice about letting brothers or sisters sit in on each others lesson. I expect you'll say it depends on the children. If you're instinct told you it wouldn't work because the oldest one was too bossy, how would you put that to the Mother (also very bossy)?

I've re-worded a bit.

[maggiemay]

well yes, it does sometimes depend on the children
:)
but it also depends on what the reasons for sitting in are.

If it is just convenience for the parent to leave both rather than just one, I'd feel that I'm not a babysitting service and would have to find a polite way to put that across ( not easy ).

If it's essential for them to sit in they absolutely must not interrupt the lesson, and they may need to be told - nicely - that you can't teach effectively with interruptions and that the pupil learning won't get a really good lesson.

I have a fairly new family who have been doing a bit of sitting in, and I haven't made a big thing of it yet, but am gradually going to suggest that it's not ideal; the children are getting to know me now and will be less self-conscious without someone else there.

I tend to welcome a parent (and so if necessary a younger child too) in for the first couple of lessons as a confidence building measure - so they can see how I work and that I have a safe teaching area, that sort of thing.

Good luck - let us know how you get on!

Maggie

[Debbie]

Thankyou Maggie

Yes it is just for convenience sake. I'm glad you feel it's not unreasonable to say "no" on this ground.

I suppose I also feel a bit taken for granted as they just announced that the younger sister was going to start lessons and assumed I had a place. I would have to re-arrange others to be able to accommodate the sister on same night. I think I'll just offer a time on different day and if they don't want it, then that will be that.

Thanks again

[maggiemay]

No it is absolutely not unreasonable (I think that says what I want it to say !!) :lol:

If it is just for the parents' convenience it's not a good enough reason.

I once had a child dropped off 20 minutes early because mum wanted to go shopping. I had just started the previous lesson so felt justified in asking them to wait in the car. But it was not well received. Too bad - you get used to it. ;)

If you need a reason, blame it on your "policy", knowing what is best for the pupil, etc etc. I 've sometimes had to make the point that I didn't have a supervised waiting area and prefer not to have another child in the same teaching room (especially a bossy one!!). A quiet one who will get lost in a book is not such a problem - even so, I resist it except in certain circumstances.

QUOTE

they just announced that the younger sister was going to start lessons and assumed I had a place. I would have to re-arrange others to be able to accommodate the sister on same night. I think I'll just offer a time on different day and if they don't want it, then that will be that.

I had the same thing (almost) happen last week; the family know that I have no spaces so didn't assume I could take a younger one without a wait, but did assume I could fit them in both on the same night. I had to point out that this was most unlikely - at least to begin with.
I think offering a time on a different day is fair enough - and it's good for your reputation for parents to realise that you don't have spaces waiting to be filled!

Good luck - stick nicely to your guns!

Maggie

[maggiemay]

One other thing occurs to me - if you teach them next to each other it will be less easy to insist that you have only one at a time. The parents will possibly assume it's ok to drop both and pick them both up an hour (or whatever) later.

Another reason to fit them in on different days maybe.

M

[sbhoa]

There is no way I would have an unaccompanied sibling sitting in.
If the parent stays for the lesson and has the other child with them and they both sit quitely that is not so bad.
At one stage I was teaching father, mother and son (not quite the same) and the 2 waiting always had books to read (or game boy to play).
The parents were all you could wish for as silent observers... they never inerfered even when I occasionally had to 'have words' with the child (as sometime is needed with a 9 year old ;) ).

[oboist]

I never allow a relation (or friend) to "sit in" on another lesson, unless invited for a special "concert" performance of a piece etc - which happens occasionally.

I do have several sets of siblings and a couple of parents/children who come in consecutive lesson slots. Where children are concerned I insist the one waiting has enough self-discipline and plenty to occupy themselves whilst they wait. If the pupil waiting cannot do this, then either the parent has to wait too or they come at separate times. (I keep a corner in my kitchen with table and chair available for such purposes. Pupils are not allowed in the lounge or elsewhere the family might want to relax whilst I'm teaching. They are, of course, allowed access to the downstairs cloakroom.)

I have also experienced parents cheerfully assuming I'll take a sibling without question, whether or not my lists are full. You do have to be very firm with people sometimes. I have an adult pupil who comes to me at 8.15 pm and insisted his 7-year old could have a slot after him at 8.45 pm because he (the child) doesn't go to bed until about 10.00 pm and so would be fine! I'm afraid I had very different views on the subject, not least because I keep my evening slots for adults/"A" level students etc. It took quite a while to win that one but I stuck to my guns and now the child is on my waiting list for September at a time I consider reasonable to teach a 7-year old who's been in school all day.

Dealing with such dilemmas is one of the problems of self-employed teaching: I'd always recommend deciding on a policy that you are comfortable with and then stick to it. Make it clear, in writing, to your existing pupils what the terms and conditions are and abide by them. If people want to learn from you then you will have the organisation of your pupils under control with clear guidelines. If potential pupils don't like them, they don't have to come to learn with you unless you are desperate for pupils, in which case vary the terms.

Doctors, dentists, lawyers etc don't allow their clients/patients to walk over them in this way. Why should we?