Practice woes, Letting go... Options

[MNW]

I've come to the conclusion that DS will have to do all of his practice unsupervised from now on. This is partly because most of it will be done at school but also because, after reading the comments from his new bassoon teacher today, I really don't know how to help him anymore. My biggest concern is that he will not practice properly or he will do the bare minimum, practice something once and make do with a so-so attempt. Hopefully he'll prove me wrong but I won't be able to tell if he's doing what has been asked of him unless I get a call three months later saying he hasn't made any, or is making minimal progress. My experience of practice at other schools has not been a good one and I'm worried that he could spend a number of terms there, even a year, faffing about in practice. In some ways that would be fine if it didn't cost so much or we hadn't uprooted our life so he could go there.

Just need some reassurance I suppose, or for advice on how I can spot the signs of little practice especially as he will be going back to basics and it won't be as easy for me to tell if he is progressing.

[sbhoa]

Why not ask the school?
They could tell you about how teachers may handle apparent lack of proper practice and how much (if any) supervised practice they get in school. Hopefully they can give you the reassurance to enable you to trust them in guiding him.
He's 10 and will need to learn proper practice skills which his teacher will probably be training him in. It won't happen at once if he's not been doing so already.

[Clari Nicki1]

...and his new teachers will just have to teach him to practice effectively if you can no longer help him.... and they will... I'm sure....(IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

[owainsutton]

If you feel that he's reached a point where you can't guide him effectively, maybe turn it on its head and get him to educate you? I don't mean teach the instrument, just maybe the day after his lesson, get him to talk about what they worked on and what he needs to focus on during the week? After all, teaching somebody else, even in this rudimentary way, is an excellent technique for reinforcing that knowledge.

In any case, irrespective of his impressive level of achievement, he's creeping up on an age where he'd be likely to appreciate a more 'hands off' approach!

[MNW]

If you feel that he's reached a point where you can't guide him effectively, maybe turn it on its head and get him to educate you? I don't mean teach the instrument, just maybe the day after his lesson, get him to talk about what they worked on and what he needs to focus on during the week? After all, teaching somebody else, even in this rudimentary way, is an excellent technique for reinforcing that knowledge.

In any case, irrespective of his impressive level of achievement, he's creeping up on an age where he'd be likely to appreciate a more 'hands off' approach!

This is an excellent suggestion owainsutton and one that would work well with his know it all attitude! Thank you! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

[Scooby Doo]

You have placed him in a specialist music school, and to be honest, I think it is now their responsibility to make sure that he knows what and how he is supposed to be practising. You can support / nag as appropriate, but if his practice ends up being ineffective then he will hear about it fairly swiftly from his teachers, and so will you, at which point you can then ask for more guidance if you feel you need it. Give yourself a (well-earned) break and let someone else do the worrying, at least for a few weeks!

Part of coping with the new regime will be taking more responsibility for his own progress. After all, he was very keen to go there, wasn't he, and this is the result of that wish....

[VH2]

All parents have to let go eventually.

If music has become an important part of his life he WILL practice.

And at some point we all have to move from extrinsic to intrinsic motivation.

If it does not happen, and he does not become a serious musician as an adult, that is OK too, because the experience of having studied music is good preparation for life's other challenges.

[MNW]

It's quite interesting - the second day in a row I've roused him out of bed for early morning music practice at school and no complaints. Now my son complains about everything. He never enthuses about music but it is virtually the one area he never complains and seems to trot of compliantly. In saying that, when I picked him up from school yesterday he insisted we turn classic Fm off because he was "all classic'd out!"

I'll implement owainsutton technique at the weekend. He's supposed to practice after school too but his brother is still off school and i want them to spend time together before he goes back, and he needs to be eased in gently, if you can call the current set up gentle!

[Pixie*Porsche]

MNW - morning practise seems to work really well for my pupils (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) I think it's especially good for primary aged kids.