Music Scholarships for Independent Schools, Do they encourage child abuse? Options

[Alicia Ocean]

We have a few local independent schools - not specialist music schools, that's rather different - that offer a discount on fees by way of a scholarship in various fields. There's generally a maths scholarship, an academic scholarship, a sports scholarship and a music scholarship.

I know an eight year old entering for grade 5 piano this term. It's essential to the parents that this child continues to show outstanding achievement to maintain their music scholarship and hefty discount at their school. The child gets back from school at 7pm (no homework as it's done at school) and then has time for tea and practice before bed and then doing it all again the next day. I can't say whether the child is enjoying this routine but I know the mother is very, very strict about practice. Isn't this sort of pressure on a child a form of abuse? Are the music scholarships perpetuating this? Any thoughts?

[Tixylix]

There will be many Asian parents reading this thread who will not find it negative and offensive at all but be more perplexed at the lacsidasical and, in their minds, neglectful attitude that indigenous Brits have towards their chikdrens' academic and extra-curricular progress.

I wouldn't blame them. What's really irritating is when the parents do absolutely nothing to help (or actively try to sabotage) but still want to bask in the glory of their child's achievements. My dad had absolutely no positive input into my education, he never so much as went to a parent's evening and spent most of sixth form trying to guilt me into leaving my independent school because he wanted the money my mum was paying for himself. When it came to UCAS application time he told me he wanted me to apply to Cambridge. He said he didn't care what I applied for or even whether I actually went there or not, but he wanted to be able to tell people his son got into Cambridge. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blink.gif) You might be able to guess that I didn't apply - possibly unwise to do so based on spite but external events meant that in the long run it wouldn't have mattered anyway so I don't regret it.

I watched a BBC programme called Chinese School a couple of years ago, it featured a student who got the highest mark in the region in the national university entrance exams. Her mother took a year off from work to look after her and rented her a flat 5 minutes from school so she could study for every possible minute of the day without needing to worry about anything like cooking meals or washing clothes. The sheer level of dedication of both the mother and the daughter touched my heart.

Music Scholarships.... child abuse.... really !
Try having a musically talented child stuck in the state system, exhausting all the music opportunity?s the local council has to offer. Being resented by some children and teachers for standing out as talented.

This is another cultural aspect, in the UK we often simply don't value education. Our exam system judges schools on the number of Cs they get, if there's no incentive to excel then it takes a very strong child to push against that and stand out. Being clever or talented (except in sport) is virtually regarded as a crime in many schools and kids who are don't want to draw attention to themselves.

The girl in Chinese School later came back to her old school to give a talk about study techniques. They interviewed people in the class she would be speaking to and they were gushing with excitement about meeting her and being able to learn from her so they could do well in their own exams. Can you even imagine that situation in the UK? I know plenty of schools who get ex-pupils to give similar talks, but if I were to see that level of enthusiasm about such a talk from a year 13 class I think I would faint from shock.

[Yoshifumu]

I wouldn't blame them. What's really irritating is when the parents do absolutely nothing to help (or actively try to sabotage) but still want to bask in the glory of their child's achievements. My dad had absolutely no positive input into my education, he never so much as went to a parent's evening and spent most of sixth form trying to guilt me into leaving my independent school because he wanted the money my mum was paying for himself. When it came to UCAS application time he told me he wanted me to apply to Cambridge. He said he didn't care what I applied for or even whether I actually went there or not, but he wanted to be able to tell people his son got into Cambridge. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blink.gif) You might be able to guess that I didn't apply - possibly unwise to do so based on spite but external events meant that in the long run it wouldn't have mattered anyway so I don't regret it.

I watched a BBC programme called Chinese School a couple of years ago, it featured a student who got the highest mark in the region in the national university entrance exams. Her mother took a year off from work to look after her and rented her a flat 5 minutes from school so she could study for every possible minute of the day without needing to worry about anything like cooking meals or washing clothes. The sheer level of dedication of both the mother and the daughter touched my heart.

This is another cultural aspect, in the UK we often simply don't value education. Our exam system judges schools on the number of Cs they get, if there's no incentive to excel then it takes a very strong child to push against that and stand out. Being clever or talented (except in sport) is virtually regarded as a crime in many schools and kids who are don't want to draw attention to themselves.

The girl in Chinese School later came back to her old school to give a talk about study techniques. They interviewed people in the class she would be speaking to and they were gushing with excitement about meeting her and being able to learn from her so they could do well in their own exams. Can you even imagine that situation in the UK? I know plenty of schools who get ex-pupils to give similar talks, but if I were to see that level of enthusiasm about such a talk from a year 13 class I think I would faint from shock.

I think it's important to point out that there are limits.

It is great that a parent is dedicated and enthused. But I think one of the main questions in this thread is whether that's because the kids are enthused, or if the parent has forced it on to them. Obviously there will be some where it is the kids own decisions, but there will be some the other way around.

I know people who have been beaten until they would do well in their instruments/homework. I've met a few who have been beaten for no reason whatsoever. To me in this case it doesn't matter whether it is mindless, or if it is to help 'encourage and motivate' the child. It is still abuse.

That said I'll repeat my previous thoughts. Scholarships don't = child abuse. But if someone already participates in such things, a scholarship opportunity might make them feel justified.


To the second half. I'm sure there are schools like that in the UK, as there probably are in every country. But, personally, I went to a state primary and a private secondary. On both counts I found myself being encouraged to achieve my best academically. And although my secondary did measure performance by 'a-c' %, they also gave annual lists of who went to what uni for what degree and boasted of Oxbridge acceptances. Meanwhile we were encouraged to do sport and music as well with some of the school getting into international teams and I don't think we even made it into the top 300 rankings. As Bear Grylls pointed out about Eton when he went: the top schools aren't about getting the best grades, they are about getting you to do what you are good at, and what you want to do.


On a side note, I'm not sure how much worse our overall parenting style can be considered in comparison. Especially when many of our schools and universities are consistently put up as some of the best in the world. (If you measure parenting success through academic merit).

From memory Stalin started off from a poor background with an abusive father and a mother who 'wanted to ensure he excelled academically'. And apparently he did excel academically. But that is not exactly what we remember him for. (sorry for the extreme example).