Phew!, lessons terminated Options

[chraze1]

Well I've sent my very first email to terminate lessons just over an hour ago!
I took on an adult and son in January, the father was having lessons every two weeks and the son weekly. They started on 23rd and 25th Jan respectively. Less than a quarter of scheduled lessons have actually taken place and I've completely had it with either a pathetic excuse or just a no show!
I've had everything from being unwell, working late, can't get a babysitter for my other kid and so can't bring this one to you, parents night which we've just remembered about (10 mins before the lesson time) (the kid goes to a school not far from here which my father in law is depute head of! parents night wasn't until March!, this excuse was in Feb!), and a total of three no shows between them!

Tonight I've had enough!, I've taken the soft approach of, 'our arrangement clearly isn't working and I'd advise you to look for a teacher who can offer lessons on an Ad Hoc basis, unfortunately this is my living and I cannot offer anything..Blah Blah Blah!
I'm keeping the, 'You are in serious breach of our contract..' incase he decides to come back all guns blazing!

I feel a million per cent better now I know that's dealt with! I wasn't even nervous pressing the 'Go' button on the email! God I'm getting tougher at this teaching thing!!

Have many of you been in this position?

[Scooby Doo]

I have been in this situation where I had a parent sit in on a lesson with her other child who I also teach. The mother was Grade 6 piano and would quite often critique the lesson or her child's playing over the top of my judgement. It became very stressful and I did eventually suggest they wait in the car but as the weeks progressed they have slowly ended up back in my teaching room.

This forum has shown me though that I am not the first teacher to experience these issues and other teaching problems I defintiely won't be the last. I just wish I had stood firmer on certain issues such as late payers/ parents sitting in on lessons/ students borrowing music etc. It is much harder to change if these things are left to go on on for too long.

I am a work in progress (IMG:style_emoticons/default/unsure.gif)

Don't beat yourself up, SF, we've all been there. It's easy to take a firm line on a forum, not so easy when faced with the parent in question!

Been there, got the T shirt. Leaves me shaking every time.

[lorraineliyanage]

I have sent a couple of these emails in this current academic year. Each one makes me feel horribly anxious and usually gives me a sleepless night! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/huh.gif)

[maggiemay]

Oh yes. Me too. Most recent was middle of last term: a mother who was trying to re-write my Ts and Cs for me.

Regular holidays in term time, a week's half term running over two weeks, etc. I had successfully kept my end up for a couple of years, but last term it started to get silly, with mum asking for missed lessons to be carried over into the next billing period. The week after half term she started messing around with the timetable again, and my patience finally snapped. Actually no sleepless nights over that one - it had looked inevitable for some time.

[funkiepiano]

Good on you, chraze1: this family needed to be terminated! Don't ever put up with this sort of behaviour, you don't deserve it and are better off without, believe me we've all been there. I hope you got paid for every time this family messed you about, if not, it's time to update your T & C'S.

[Impressionist]

I "sacked" a pupil too. Kind of cathartic in a way.

I'd started a thread recently about being mucked about by friends/people I knew and had one of the worst offenders just not turn up for a lesson. Rang the parent who said "oh, Child X has decided to do something else, can we do a different day". I girded my loins and said "no, sorry, I don't Child X's heart is in learning an instrument. If they are you need to find another teacher as I can't keep rearranging my schedule". Dead silence on the other end of the phone and then an apology - but too little too late I'm afraid and the child has gone. Phew!

[iona]

I'm waiting for the fall out for one of my sackings to come later this afternoon. I had a sleepless night last night & am feeling really rough today with a full afternoon of teaching ahead. I know I've done the right thing,( although perhaps I could have handled it better). I'm even more cross now though beacuse I don't feel up to teaching a specially arranged lesson this afternoon, specifically designed to help a lovely child who is having real problems. Once again, achild/family is going to feel the impact of another's behaviour/attitude.

[hammer action]

You've done the right thing and i'll bet it's a weight off your mind. I've had students like that in the past who don't think there's anything wrong with mucking me around. I've learned to be more strict. All lessons missed are chargeable (why some parents find this surprising is beyond me) and if they don't like it, they can go and find another teacher. If, say, five students cancel or don't bother turning up in a day that means i've just to go back home without being paid a penny? I don't think so! I recently had one who's father said it was unfair he had to pay for a missed lesson (he text me 5 mins into the lesson time to cancel) as he didn't realize until the day before that his son had a parent's evening at school and it wasn't his fault he had to cancel - not mine either though and why should i be hit in the pocket for someone else's lack of forward planning?!!! I've got a few adult pupils who continuously cancel last minute, and it just makes me question how dedicated they really are to learning.

I've learned through teaching for a while and talking to other teacher colleagues that there are a lot of people out there who will happily take you for a mug of they think they can get away with it. Some people have absolutely no shame, consideration or manners whatsoever.

Good for you! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

[europeanpianist]

It could be a good idea to have students pay in advace for lessons say 4 or 10 lessons. I would never dream of missing a lesson with my teacher. I pay every year for lessons and the tuition is worth every penny, sometime I can change the day if I am going on holiday but will always tell my teacher about a months notice in advance. A lot of students are taking the XXXX, before I had private tuition I used to go to a music school and some of the students said they have had no time to practice during the week but sat there taking about watching eastenders and coronation street
Russell grade 1

[Misterioso]

I recently had one who's father said it was unfair he had to pay for a missed lesson (he text me 5 mins into the lesson time to cancel) as he didn't realize until the day before that his son had a parent's evening at school and it wasn't his fault he had to cancel - not mine either though and why should i be hit in the pocket for someone else's lack of forward planning?!!! I've got a few adult pupils who continuously cancel last minute, and it just makes me question how dedicated they really are to learning.

He realised the day before, but didn't think to cancel the lesson then? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wacko.gif)

Yes, I think some adult students are not dedicated to learning, judging by their dedication to last minute cancellations!

[chraze1]

Good on you, chraze1: this family needed to be terminated! Don't ever put up with this sort of behaviour, you don't deserve it and are better off without, believe me we've all been there. I hope you got paid for every time this family messed you about, if not, it's time to update your T & C'S.

European pianist quote
"It could be a good idea to have students pay in advace for lessons say 4 or 10 lessons."



Thanks to all, I have T & C's which state fees should be paid on the first lesson of every month, but he never brought back the signed copy despite me asking several times, I let the first two cancellations go back in the early days, but then I told him that as per my T&C's lessons should be paid for if cancelled less than 24 hours before. He promised to pay what was outstanding and for the next week he had an excuse every day via text or email to tell me why he hadn't gotten round to posting the fee through my door! Eventually he did pay - thankfully! Last night was just the limit for me though! No show on Mon and no reason and no show last night and again no contact! how dare they!

I've just finished entering candidates online!, 3 for theory in June all Grade 1'ers, and 2 for Practical, a grade 2 and a grade 3!, These wee delights are why I do this job - absolutely love it!

[Catey]

Thanks to all, I have T & C's which state fees should be paid on the first lesson of every month, but he never brought back the signed copy despite me asking several times,

The first section of my T&C's also states that "Failure to return these terms and conditions but continuing tuition constitutes acceptance of the terms and conditions for tuition."

It's a great clause for cases just as you describe above and I point it out to everyone who takes their terms home to read before signing.

Might be worth adding into yours?

Catherine x

[moondad]

The first section of my T&C's also states that "Failure to return these terms and conditions but continuing tuition constitutes acceptance of the terms and conditions for tuition."

It's a great clause for cases just as you describe above and I point it out to everyone who takes their terms home to read before signing.

Might be worth adding into yours?

Excellent! mwahahaa

[dorabella x]

Is it just me, or do we seem to be going through a period of badly behaved parents? In all the years (aaargh!!) I've been teaching, I can't remember the volubility, sheer bad manners etc that seem to be in evidence at the moment.

and, yes, it does have a knock on effect with other lessons (with lovely pupils/parents) as well.

Best wishes,

Dorabella x

[flautistphilosoper]

I've become much more rigid with my T&Cs over the past 6 months as parent behaviour started slipping, but they seem to have got the message now. To the one who kept cancelling lessons and was about to cancel another I simply said "that's fine, but I'll have to give your slot to someone on my waiting list"; they haven't cancelled since. I've had a couple of cheeky "can I have half an hour instead of one", to which I just said no; they stopped coming and a much pleasanter family have taken their place.

The fist time I did this I felt a bit harsh, but it's the best way to ensure a good long term relationship.

By the way, I don't have written T&Cs, a verbal agreement works just as well and is just as enforceable.