My Audition Results..

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My Audition Results..

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sarah-flute	Jul 27 2005, 02:15 PM Post #31
Unregistered	QUOTE(nicki_flute @ Jul 27 2005, 02:11 PM) Eeeeeeeeeeeep. Only just saw this. I don't know, it is like an automatic reaction, that I have. Some of my teachers have found out that I do overwork, and I am a perfectionist. Also, when you find out that your old teacher basically thinks you weren't very good, it isn't very confidence boosting. Nicki, I sympathise, having had both teachers who didn't believe in me, being a crazed perfectionist, and automatically assuming the worst, but some things I've learned over the years (and I know you need to learn them yourself for them to really sink in, but maybe they will encourage you in the meantime)... - if teachers don't believe in you/think you aren't very good, the best "revenge" is to work hard, do well, and prove them wrong (whether they ever find out you have is beside the point - but you should know from your recent results (exam and audition) that you are a good flautist - trust your teacher when she says you are, even when you don't feel it - if you can't have faith in yourself, at least have faith in her! She seems to have been right so far... - being a perfectionist can mean that you are never satisfied, but it also means you will work hard. So remind yourself that there IS a positive side, and try to remember that good marks are still GOOD marks even when they're not PERFECT marks. I'm sure there was a third thing but blowed if I can recall what... BE PROUD, GIRL! :)

all ears	Jul 27 2005, 02:20 PM Post #32
Unregistered	Congratulations! It's my personal belief that flute is the worst possible instrument to play when you're nervous, because your breath is everything (I know, everybody else is just waiting to tell me how wrong I am!), so I think you did very well! By the way, when I'm nervous, I tend to hold my breath, ending up with "too much breath" and finding it hard to speak. If it was me, my full-to-bursting lungs would haven been DEATH to staccato :huh: . As for feeling not good enough at things, don't worry, life and shortage of money will take care of those feelings of reticence some day:lol:

nicki_flute	Jul 27 2005, 02:20 PM Post #33
Unregistered	QUOTE(sarah-flute @ Jul 27 2005, 02:15 PM) Nicki, I sympathise, having had both teachers who didn't believe in me, being a crazed perfectionist, and automatically assuming the worst, but some things I've learned over the years (and I know you need to learn them yourself for them to really sink in, but maybe they will encourage you in the meantime)... - if teachers don't believe in you/think you aren't very good, the best "revenge" is to work hard, do well, and prove them wrong (whether they ever find out you have is beside the point - but you should know from your recent results (exam and audition) that you are a good flautist - trust your teacher when she says you are, even when you don't feel it - if you can't have faith in yourself, at least have faith in her! She seems to have been right so far... - being a perfectionist can mean that you are never satisfied, but it also means you will work hard. So remind yourself that there IS a positive side, and try to remember that good marks are still GOOD marks even when they're not PERFECT marks. I'm sure there was a third thing but blowed if I can recall what... BE PROUD, GIRL! :) My teacher currently, has always believed I can do things, (oh yes, that reminds me, we had a bet about the audition and I lost it). We ended up doing that bet because I was so adament I wasn't good enough to get in. I won't see my old teacher again, but I can't believe it, I wasn't that bad when I was with her, I got 1 pass and 2 merits (Scraped - 120). It only came out because my new teacher was talking to her. I do work hard, but also because I am also scared of failure.

sarah-flute	Jul 27 2005, 02:24 PM Post #34
Unregistered	QUOTE(nicki_flute @ Jul 27 2005, 02:20 PM) My teacher currently, has always believed I can do things, (oh yes, that reminds me, we had a bet about the audition and I lost it). We ended up doing that bet because I was so adament I wasn't good enough to get in. Good on her - it seems she's been right so far! QUOTE I won't see my old teacher again, but I can't believe it, I wasn't that bad when I was with her, I got 1 pass and 2 merits (Scraped - 120). It only came out because my new teacher was talking to her. It seems that the problem was with her, not you... if you didn't OK-but-not-great with her then now you are doing great with a new teacher... not hard to see where the finger is likely pointing! Like I said, the point is not to prove it to her - because in the long run whether she ever believes in you beside the point - but just to generally prove her wrong... which you are doing admirably! :)

nicki_flute	Jul 27 2005, 02:35 PM Post #35
Unregistered	Hehehe, I'll have to be buying that Fruit and Nut chocolate bar now! My new flute teacher is lovely, she is the best I ever have. I don't know whether she knows how not confident I am, but she knows how I beat myself up about things, and she also knows that I want to get better and work hard.

sarah-flute	Jul 27 2005, 02:37 PM Post #36
Unregistered	QUOTE(nicki_flute @ Jul 27 2005, 02:35 PM) My new flute teacher is lovely, she is the best I ever have. I don't know whether she knows how not confident I am, but she knows how I beat myself up about things, and she also knows that I want to get better and work hard. I'm sure that if she is half as switched on as she appears to be, she has noted that you're lacking in confidence, and is probably doing her best in whatever way she can to help counter that as she obviously believes you have talent!

Andy-piano-flute	Jul 27 2005, 02:42 PM Post #37
Unregistered	QUOTE(all ears @ Jul 27 2005, 03:20 PM) It's my personal belief that flute is the worst possible instrument to play when you're nervous, because your breath is everything (I know, everybody else is just waiting to tell me how wrong I am!), so I think you did very well! Oh I totally agree!! Shaking hands while trying to play the piano aren't great but hyperventilating while trying to get through an exam/audition/ performance playing the flute - believe me I know how awful that is.

nicki_flute	Jul 27 2005, 02:58 PM Post #38
Unregistered	QUOTE(sarah-flute @ Jul 27 2005, 02:37 PM) QUOTE(nicki_flute @ Jul 27 2005, 02:35 PM) My new flute teacher is lovely, she is the best I ever have. I don't know whether she knows how not confident I am, but she knows how I beat myself up about things, and she also knows that I want to get better and work hard. I'm sure that if she is half as switched on as she appears to be, she has noted that you're lacking in confidence, and is probably doing her best in whatever way she can to help counter that as she obviously believes you have talent! Oh, it is because I don't appear nervous or lacking in confidence, I generally won't say things, but she knows I get annoyed at myself if I go wrong. I am not shy but I am not extrovert. I guess it takes me a while to come out of my shell before I feel happy about a piece or something.

sarah-flute	Jul 27 2005, 03:02 PM Post #39
Unregistered	I suspect she does realise, even if she doesn't say anything. She sounds pretty "with it" and switched on!

nicki_flute	Jul 27 2005, 03:04 PM Post #40
Unregistered	She is, the best flute teacher I have ever had. I will never be able to thank her enough. I suppose I should take comfort in when I had my lesson before my audition, my teacher was saying to this work experience girl how well I had come on, and after listening to me, the girl said I was amazing (she was about gr 4 flute, gr 6 harp). That made me smile.

sarah-flute	Jul 27 2005, 03:07 PM Post #41
Unregistered	QUOTE(nicki_flute @ Jul 27 2005, 03:04 PM) She is, the best flute teacher I have ever had. I will never be able to thank her enough. I suppose I should take comfort in when I had my lesson before my audition, my teacher was saying to this work experience girl how well I had come on, and after listening to me, the girl said I was amazing (she was about gr 4 flute, gr 6 harp). That made me smile. grin See! :D :P :lol:

nicki_flute	Jul 27 2005, 03:10 PM Post #42
Unregistered	I have to admit, I did sound good :)

sarah-flute	Jul 27 2005, 03:17 PM Post #43
Unregistered	YAY! See, that's the first step on the road to self-belief! :) (I'm going to save this post i reckon and remind you of it occasionally ;) :D )

nicki_flute	Jul 27 2005, 03:22 PM Post #44
Unregistered	Ok then. Maybe I should think of the memory of playing well in detail. The room I think was used for ballet, so it was big and bare and empty, so it had a lovely echo. My flute teacher said "Someone has been practicing hard on these pieces", which I had been. She said if I played like I did in the lesson in the audition she said she'd be very, very proud of me. I played the pieces, and she was being very picky, and picking out very, very, very minor details, but she said they were really good otherwise. I felt really happy after that lesson...

snuglivixen	Jul 27 2005, 03:23 PM Post #45
Unregistered	You DO sound good ! :D WELL DONE YOU getting in! :D Go celebrate........ you more than deserve it. As for saving this post... Nicki I think you should make a list of all your good points and achievements. And read it every day! It will help your self esteem loads. :)

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