Just had to share my moment of joy - one of my least favourite pupils has decided to give up. Her mother used to annoy me by texting during lessons and generally being a flaming nuisance - the lesson times I offered were never quite right, she regularly turned up without her music, never practised, always whined about everything etc etc. Hee hee, am delighted!!!!

Comiserations on the loss of a pupil, Sue

I always feel a tinge of guilt when this sort of thing happens, but I know that some people are just not suited to the discipline of playing an instrument, and life is much pleasanter if we don't have to try and instil some enthusiasm into them.

Sorry to hear you've lost a pupil Sue, but I have to say I don't blame you for being pleased about losing someone who messes you around!

I have 36 pupils and the majority of them are all very good, disciplined and never miss lessons (unless something important happens), however there are one or two who constantly mess me about.

This morning I have had a text from a pupil to say she can't come tonight as her timetable in tech has changed for this week only and she won't be home in time....I'm not unreasonable and if this had been the first, second or even third time this has happened, then I wouldn't mind, but on checking through my diary, since the beginning of Jan 07, out of a possible 14 lessons, she has attended only 6!

Unfortunately since she started with me 3 years ago, this has always been the case, but I have persevered mainly because in actual fact she is very talented! I have spoken to her about my frustration (you know - she's very talented, could do much more if she would just come etc etc) but despite promises to change, its got to the point where I am almost wishing she would just give up. Her parents know all this as I have spoken to them, but they haven't done anything about the attendance situation either.

Before anyone says "its ok - you are still getting paid even if she doesn't turn up" - I DON'T! She is the one pupil who refuses to pay me by term like everyone else and her parents insist on paying me fortnightly - so if she doesn't come for 4 weeks, then thats 4 weeks of me not getting paid (I have a 24 hour cancellation policy). I have a waiting list, and I know instead of moaning I should just tell her I can't teach her anymore, but like I said, she is actually very talented and if she would only attend lessons, she could be so much better!

Anyone any advice?

She may be talented, but she's not committed to doing any work, and she's fairly obviously not interested enough. There may be some undiscovered delightful pupil in your waiting list, who pays you promptly and is fun to teach. Put like that, it's a no-brainer, so you need to ask yourself why you're committed to this pupil. Once you've discovered the underlying reason(s) you will be in a better position to make the right decision.

It's rather like pruning - I know most of the shrubs in my garden would be better for some pruning, but I feel really guilty if I so much as wave the secateurs in their direction.

Hardly a surprise that the one who doesn't pay in advance is the one who misses lessons at short notice and who's parents don't do anything about it. I'm sorry but they are taking the ****.

It's obviously up to you if you want to carry on with a talented pupil who loses you money but you are quite within your rights to demand they switch to payment monthly or 1/2 termly in advance. Of course you might lose them in the process but if not, and they do pay in advance, just watch how quickly the parents do something to make sure she turns up regularly. At the moment it just doesn't matter to them as it is your money not theirs.


And to Suehm

I've read lots of sories about problems with pupils, and I get the impression that teachers have more problems with girls than boys. Is there any truth in this? I must say that from my experience the mother -daughter combination is more volatile than mother - son. Not sure why, but it does seem that way.

Steve

now I wish one of mine who I've been hinting at for the past 3 years would do the same.........plus another one who I've got to try to get from grade 0 to grade 3 piano in less than 12 months........ grrr - and she only turned up twice in the whole of last term..... it's d****d unfair of the school to expect me to have to do this - it's happened once before, and the pupil failed spectacularly........(similar kind of girl actually.....)

Andante, I totally agree with earplugs re making your talented pupil abide by the same conditions as everyone else. If you are too accomodating/nice about everything, people don't respect your time and efforts. They wouldn't treat their plumber/solicitor etc like that and expect to get away without paying!

Steve, boys can be just as troublesome as girls, it's down to individual personalities. I think fewer boys learn piano so I tend to have more girls hence more trouble from them, but in my sample of 3 boys, one is a complete nightmare (loses his music every other week, makes excuses about his home piano being broken so can't practice, turns up at wrong time, blah blah....)

The mother-daughter volatility thing - perhaps a reflection of the fact that in general it is the Mums who do the majority of dropping/fetching for lessons, nagging to practice etc? (Takes cover from working Mums, domestic Dads etc) Very possibly teachers of different genders attract a different cross section of pupils.

Not mine - I was just replying to Leana.

The Smiley says it all, Sue!

Sorry Andante, muddled my posts! You get my drift...

Sue - I think you'll look back and wonder why you didn't push ages ago ! I usually find the ones I dither and agonise over give way to someone much more worthwhile.

I had an adult whose attendance was a bit like your pupil's, Leana. We dragged on for well over two terms - it was always going to get better, and saturday was really the only day he could make (yes but actually you can't! ...) and like yours, there was always a good reason. One day I looked back and counted up how many out of how many - and declined to book him in for the next term. At the same time I totted up how many pieces had been completed in that time - and the answer was nil! Unlike yours he did pay - but he was taking up a 45 min slot at a prime time - and I was working later on Saturdays in order to keep the earlier slot open. No regrets there - extremely pleasant, interesting and charming to talk to - but no real progress.

I agree - if they mess you around AND won't pay in advance (I bill half-termly btw but it still works most of the time) I'd make it clear they are the only ones not complying with your terms and it's too much hassle to change your accounting system for one who won't do as the others do. erm - good luck !

Yay hopefully you will get a great pupil in her place!

I have had at least a couple of pupils like yours and I too have the 24 hour cancellation thing, but always feel incredibly guilty if they use illness as an excuse! As teaching is my only income I try to keep as many lessons going through the school holidays as possible. I just can't afford to have 12 weeks unpaid in a year, but I still have many parents who refuse point blank to have their child do anything at all in the hols as "they need the rest" but all I really ask for if possible is that they have lessons for half the hols.

Can't understand why pupils or parents bother, they are not getting anything out of it, nil effort and no return. I hate having to cancel lessons and on the rare occassions that I do I would always try to re-arrange. I really don't see why this type of parent/pupil wastes time the teachers and their own.

lol oh dear, not that i teacher, but i left because my teacher fell asleep whilst i was playing!!!!

Surely you weren't that boring!

SueHM - it sounds as if it's time to part company. I'm waiting to see if one of mine turns up tomorrow - if she doesn't, that's it. I have let it run on for some time because the family had a very bad time with a bereavement nearly a year ago (pupil's brother), but she was flaky before that and has become more so. I've got a very keen sounding adult ready to take her place.

I had a clarinet pupil who was eating crisps one day when I arrived for her lesson. I asked her to go and brush her teeth and she was gone for ages so I went looking for her... she was sitting on the stairs quite unconcerned and finishing her bag of crisps (which took her over ten minutes of a half-hour lesson).... then she refused to brush her teeth!!! bleauughh

She wasn't talented at all and came from a VERY rich family. She didn't practice very much and her mother used to make a fuss about finding the lesson money out of change in her purse every week (all my other pupils payed by term). Once I turned up to find she'd gone out on her pony. When I turned up to find her away on holiday for two weeks I told her mother I wouldn't be coming back. Luckily the mother agreed that the kid wasn't very motivated and was quite nice about it. In fact, she made me a cup of tea and spent an hour telling me all the family's problems and that wasn't the first time either!! I was so glad to drop that one.

At the time I was young, shy and naive. I wouldn't let someone take advantage of me like that now!!

In fairness to all your other pupils you should enforce your contract. Why should she not turn up and keep getting away with it? How would parents of your other pupils start treating you if they felt that it was ok not to keep turning up and not paying?

I'm afraid that, while I am prepared to be lenient if there is an exception and for a good reason, I still have to pay my mortgage and for all my own kids activities. I don't think for one minute that the bank would be very understanding if I said I couldn't pay this month just because Jo Bloggs had decided not to turn up again!

I love my teaching and would't dream of doing anything else but I realise that if I want to do it properly and do everything else that I want to do I have to run it as a business. Sometimes we can be a bit sqeamish about this but you mustn't.