I'm posting this on the teacher area in an effort to get a bit of help with my own issues and I really hope some people could help.

I am currently teaching piano privately but am also studying to be music teacher at university. I play quite a few instruments and one of my decisions entering the course was to improve my other instruments to a higher standard in order to give me the option of teaching them at a later date. However I have had a long break from music (7 years) and in this time I have done absolutely no performance (or playing for that matter). Only recently, with a few performances I have done (including an ABRSM exam), I have found an immense problems with nerves to the point at which I not only shake but can barely stand up. I have never had these problems when younger either.

I love playing music, it is my most favoured thing, and I do not feel nervous at all before I play, I'm in fact looking immensely forward to it but then as soon as I start to play the nerves get to me. I regulate my breathing and am very aware that nerves could be pinned on this. It doesn't seem to be the case I just literally lose control of my hands and no matter how much I try to relax, I cannot get them to respond.

I have used rescue remedy, calm tablets and breathing exercises before I play but it doesn't make a difference. Has anyone had pupils like this and come up with ways to help them? I really worry that if I can't play, how can I teach?

I was similar to you: was fine when I was younger, then had a break from playing for a while, and when I went back to it, I've had appalling attacks of nerves whenever I've had to play any kind of exposed solo. (Regular orchestral playing, without any big solos, is okay.)

The 'basic' answer is the things you've probably already tried already: breathing, etc.
The more drastic answer, if those aren't working, are things like beta blockers from your GP, or hypnotherapy. I have tried the latter recently and it seems to be working so far! (I tried beta blockers too, a while ago, but only for one occasion, and I don't want to take drugs as a permanent solution.)

The problem with it is that you get in a cycle: because it happened last time, you're scared it will happen again, and then it does, so the next time... It's horrible, and you know rationally that it's completely psychological, but that doesn't help! So the drastic measures help you to break that cycle.

I tried to do a search for my response to a similar post in the past, but I couldn't find it. What I suggested was not to think of betablockers as overly drastic. I was similar to both you and Claire in that I came back after a big break; maybe it's the break that makes us like this! I couldn't possibly have functioned without betablockers. I rang the doctor, and that's what she suggested, telling me that she prescribes them all the time for this type of thing, and she was happy to prescribe them over the phone. They don't actually make you feel any different; they just stop your adrenalin levels from rising beyond a certain level. I wouldn't have wanted to keep taking them permanently either, but I gardually lessened the dose from two tablets to a half of one, and when a chemist friend told me then that I was playing on a placebeo at that point I cut them out altogether. If you really have a serious problem with nerves like I did, it's worth a thought. (I'm still nervous, by the way, but my signature underneath contains my current remedy!)

I agree - betablockers are a huge help. They won't affect you mentally, but will help stop symptoms such as shaking, sweaty hands and so on. And they really are not a drastic solution - in fact the doctor told me I could still take them while I was pregnant, they are so harmless (although I didn't - just in case!) But I agree with Claire - you may only need them for a while to break the cycle.
Good luck!

I was totally cured of nerves by hypnotherapy - now there's a fight to keep me off the stage in any sort of public situation

Betablockers seem a huge step for concert nerves and should only be taken under medical advice.

Have you tried a course of relaxation techniques and learning self hypnosis?

Also not everyone can take betablockers. If you're asthmatic they're a no-no for a start.

Our University Counselling Service ran classes. Its worthwhile investigating.

But you can only get them on prescription, because of the asthma thing, so a doctor will know whether or not they're suitable.

I would never have the time for relaxation courses - maybe that's why I'm not relaxed in itself!

If someone is considering giving up on a particular career, it's not a huge step; it's just a little pink thing that you take with a glass of water and that doesn't affect your central nervous system in any way. Why is it any worse than taking two paracetamol for a headache? Keeping my nerves under control meant that I didn't have uncontrollable diarrhea, so surely that outweighs any cons - which were non-existent for me!
And there are contra-indications for everything; my son's lips swell up to humongous proprtions if he takes aspirin.

I had two one hour sessions.

I did the relaxation thing in my first year. It was great. A group of three of us all signed up to it, and learnt how to ge ourselves into a very deep state of calm. I use different techniques now. Since I've been on a Jesuit retreat, I've been able to get into very deep meditiative prayer states very quickly. So before a performance I find a quite space and I just focus one one line of scripture and pray for 20 minutes.

Now I'm not saying that Jesuit Spirituality is for everyone, but it works for me. Whether its "finding your own safe place" through self hypnosis or meditation, or prayer, or yoga or pilates surely that's better than popping a pill meant for a heart condition.

Maybe this is too crass an answer, but when it comes to a concert the audience have either already paid, or they've got to pay to get out, so either way you've got them!

This may sound a bit twee, but it's what happened on the way to my exam 3 weeks ago. I was very nervous, but well prepared. On the radio came the news. They were talking about Bangladesh and the floods. Hundreds of thousands were without clean water. I really thought about that, and it was a light bulb moment. This is only a piano exam, I have food shelter and clean water.
I was just a little apprehensive, but that was all. In contrast to my Grade 4 and 5 flute, when I nearly dropped the darn thing.
It may help??
Good luck.
Bev.

Bev, I don't want to dismiss what you say, it could work for some people (and I agree that we sometimes need to get things in perspective), but the problem with this level of nerves is that you KNOW it's totally irrational, but it happens anyway! I have done concerts in drafty old churches to an audience of old ladies who wouldn't know which end of an oboe to blow down, and sure as anything wouldn't care if I played a couple of wrong notes, but that didn't stop me wanting to run screaming from the church!

I do think the nerves thing gets better the more and more you perform. You are out of practice performing at the moment so you are going to shake, I used to shake badly too. Is there any where you could get practice performing regularly where there isn't so much pressure - play at a local ballet class for example? Playing for children's performances is great for nerves too, nothing ever goes smoothly and you realise that none of the audience is focusing on you, they are too busy watching their little darlings.

I was told by the examiner after a horrendous Grade 6 exam, with feet vibrating off the pedals my legs were shaking so much, and fingers that totally lost the plot on the keyboard, that it would make no difference in 100 years. It was a nice idea, but my brain still doesn't work like that ,sadly. My husband took beta blockers for his HGV exam, and said they were brilliant. I'm hoping to get some for my Grade 8, as I think if I can get through at least one performance exam without a catasrophe, it will pshycologically help me. Oddly, found the teaching diploma much easier. Lots of talking involved there!
Have tried the alcohol thing. Hands become detatched form my body!

I am not sure about beta blockers - my friend became very depressed after taking them. Anyway some nerves are a good thing surely.

Sorry I picked on this quote because it's exactly how I felt in a nutshell (and I think you mentioned you were an oboist down the page which is partly what I'm talking about). Knowing whilst I'm playing that this is completely irrational and I get furious with myself (my grade 7 violin exam I was just staring at my hand angrily thinking "what are you trying to do to me???"). My breathings fine, I just can't stop shaking and then I get embarrassed and it gets even worse. It was actually hilarious in my exam because my bowing arm was responding no problem but my hand wasn't, which meant I bounced off the strings no end. I also play the oboe and I thought the reason I had issues with that was simply because of my breathing but it turns out not, I just can't keep my hand still. It was actually quite a surprise to find I had the same problem with the violin (last night I performed and my legs went too, even though I was playing in a string quintet!)

I only get nervous when I literally stand up in front of people, beforehand I am actually quite content and looking forward to playing (I wasn't even nervous before my violin exam I was quite looking forward to showing off my spanky new violin). I was thinking of hypnotherapy before the beta blocker, does it involve relaxation techniques before I play?

Everybody's been so helpful, I really appreciate this!

I used to take beta blockers for panic attacks/anxiety, which worked well, although I found it difficult to concentrate on everyday tasks while I was on them. I think they were quite strong though.

Your doctor will be able to advise you on that and it's worth asking about, even only for the short term.

I have to say hypnosis never seemed to work for me. The way I have always done it is to pretend I'm in my own living room. If I'm looking directly at the piano and not around me too much, it's quite effective!

Edit : p.s - a wee nip of Hennessy doesn't do any harm either

No. Nothing further to do.

It's like being cured of a fear of spiders (or whatever) & to be honest I can't see what I was fussed about now. Thought that's a sign of my cure.

I really can't imagine "self-hypnosis" working in such a profound and immediate and final way. Perhaps it's just me. It cost 90 pounds in total for two sessions and to me it was worth the risk of it not working. It's not really about Relaxation at all - in fact I was encouraged to feel Excited but in a happy and positive way.

Same here. It took me four sesssions, but frankly if it gets me over the panic, it's money well spent.

My level of nerves for my Grade 5 was such that I actually thought for a minute before I started, "shall I just walk out of here" I really considered it. Think it was the money and time and effort that stopped me.
Then I played at Leeds, which saw me with hands under cold tap a couple of turns before mine, but I did it. Stumac says that the more you do it the better it gets, so keep on playing at every opportunity.
It's funny, but the turn I did with Daisychain and Petrat, I wasn't nervous about, even though I don't normally sing solos. Maybe because I didn't care what people thought, it was meant to be awful

Anyone tried what the gymnasts do?? I saw Prof Winston on TV showing how they "visualize" their moves in their heads, and then they do the move perfectly. I tried this a week before the exam, imagining me walking into the room, as cool as can be, saying hello to the examiner and sitting down and enjoying the exam.
While I can't say I enjoyed it, I think it helped alongside the light bulb moment.
If anyone can tell me how not to be scared of spiders, let me know
Bev.

I suffer very badly from nerves in my singing i had a panic attack before and nearly fainted. The poor singing teacher was just a little worried! I think i might try medication next time but i would only do it a couple of times to break the cycle
x

As regards the alcohol approach - as steward for the local ABRSM exams, I once had an adult lady to escort to examination room, she literally bounced from one side of the wall to the other all the way down the corridor! I asked her if she was OK (fearing a medical condition I may have to deal with) to which she replied that the 3 double brandies she had taken for her nerves, made her forget all her problems!!! I often wonder if she passed, and yes, I did ensure she went home by taxi!

3 double brandies would have me in a coma!

Alcohol is risky. When you're not too stressed and the atmosphere is pleasant one or two glasses of wine can get rid of the tension and leave you free to concentrate on expression rather than worry about your shaking hands not even getting the notes right. But if you're over-anxious and haven't eaten as a result, even one glass can go straight to your head and cause you to struggle over the more technical bits.

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/10/17/arts/mus...amp;oref=slogin
An article that you might find interesting, about musicians and betablockers.

I haven't played properly solo for a long time. But I did "volunteer", or perhaps I should say that I was volunteered to accompany at the school carol service - not just straight 4 part carols, but fancy things where the accompaniment was everything! Standing singing the first carol of the evening (played by the organist - an Oxford ex-organ scholar if you please) no words would come out, and I truly wondered how I had let myself in for it. Some how I got myself through it - and it obviously didn't show all that much because I was asked to do it again the next year! (Nerves were not quite as bad second time round, but still not good)

However, since then I have become involved in playing for church services occasionally, on an organ, and although I'm still apprehensive, not to such an extent. I think that repeated exposure to these sort of occasions must be beneficial nerves-wise, and having read all the posts, I think I would go down the hypnosis route before resorting to beta-blockers.

Thanks! I was going to say as much as I love the idea of alcohol I have a tendency to completely lose my embouchure even after one glass, I'm such a lightweight

I have found that alcohol makes me think I have played like an angel, or sung like a star, but it doesn't have that effect on the audience
I would try anything other than pills until they were the last resort. I'm a nurse and believe me beta blockers don't suit everyone. If you do use them, try them before the performance just in case.
Bev.