Has anyone ever heard of this? It's a funny song set to the accompaniment of the Mozart Horn concerto.

Here are the lyrics:

I once had a whim and I had to obey it
To buy a French Horn in a second-hand shop;
I polished it up and I started to play it
In spite of the neighbours who begged me to stop.

To sound my Horn, I had to develop my embouchure;
I found my Horn was a bit of a devil to play.

So artfully wound
To give you a sound,
A beautiful sound so rich and round.

Oh, the hours I had to spend
Before I mastered it in the end.

But that was yesterday and just today I looked in the usual place-
There was the case but the Horn itself was missing.

Oh, where can it have gone?
Haven't you-hasn't anyone seen my Horn?
Oh, where can it have gone?
What a blow! Now I know
I'm unable to play my Allegro.

Who swiped that Horn?
I'll bet you a quid
Somebody did,
Knowing I'd found a concerto and wanted to play it,
Afraid of my talent at playing the Horn.
For early today to my utter dismay
it had vanished away like the dew in the mom.

I've lost that Hom-I know I was using it yesterday.
I've lost that Horn, lost that Horn, found that Horn ... gorn.
There's not much hope of getting it back though I'd willingly pay a reward.

I know some Hearty Folk whose party joke's
Pretending to hunt with the Quorn,
Gone away! Gone away! Was it one of them took it away?
Will you kindly return that Horn? Where is the devil who pinched my Horn?

I shall tell the Police I want that French Horn back.
I miss its music more and more and more.
Without that Horn I'm feeling sad and so forlorn.

I found a concerto, I wanted to play it,
Displaying my talent at playing the Horn,
But early today to my utter dismay it had totally vanished away.
I practised the Horn, and I wanted to play it but somebody took it away.
I practised the Horn and was longing to play it but somebody took it away.

My neighbour's asleep in his bed.
I'll soon make him wish he were dead.
I'll take up the Tuba instead!

(http://www.songmeanings.net/lyric.php?lid=3530822107858643876)

Anyone who writes such classics as The Hippopotamus Song and Transport Of Delight (97 Horse-power Omnibus) is fine by me!

Thanks for sharing Nicki!

Yes, I've heard it performed a couple of times. It's excellent.

My son is singing it for his Grade 7 next week....

This was one of my favourite Flanders and Swann songs as a teenager, along with "The Gasman Cometh" and "The Honeysuckle and the Bindweed". We had the records of "At the drop of a hat" and "At the drop of another hat" and I knew all the songs backwards. Happy memories!

Yes indeed !

I love Flanders and Swann's music!

I have a box set of 3 CD's with "At the drop of a hat", "At the drop of another hat" and "The Bestiary of Flanders and Swann". I also have a book called "the songs of Michael Flanders and Donald Swann". My kids have been subjected to them regularly. I believe both publications are still available.

My favourites are The Hippopotamus, the Wompom, The Song of Patriotic Prejudice, Transport of Delight and the Slow Train.

And the Sloth ( ". . . the door's not shut on my genius but I just don't have the time!")

And The Song of Reproduction (aka "High Fidelity" as in "all the highest notes neither sharp nor flat, the ear can't hear as high as that, still; I ought to please any passing bat with my High Fidelity").

And Ill Wind, The Gnu, Design for living, the Portugese Man-Of-War, The reluctant Cannibal, Madeira M'dear? The Warthog . . . actually there are just so many excellent songs to choose from, as a man in a music shop once said to me, they are classical music of their own genre.

BTW the Honeysuckle and the bindweed are the subjects of a song called "Misalliance"!

Thanks, Robodoc - I should have remembered that! Did you like the one about the armadillo who fell in love with a tank on Salisbury Plain? And the bottle-nosed whale with the 'flu?

And I still sing the one about the First and Second Laws of Thermodynamics (yeah - that's entropy, man!) when I want to remember which one is which!

Ah the Gnu ! I'm a gnu - a-gnother gnu

Ooooh, my F&S CD is going back in the car once I get home tonight (it's one CD but it's At the Drop of a Hat and At the Drop of Another Hat, and it cost me all of six quid )

I'm going to be singing all day now (in my head; not out loud, not in the office!)

Thanks for posting this Fond memories

who remembers the tea advert with the gnu song

I'm a ganoo
How do you do
Do you serve that tasty brew they call Typhoo
Ah I see that you do
Have that pick me up brew
Well would you like to share a cup or two
...forgotten the rest

Yes, I remember that one

I have the box set as well!
Loved the monologues as well, especially "By Air" and "Built-up-area." Really liked "in the Desert" (One camel is lagging... one camel has fallen behind... it has hurt its foot... what a pity. ) and "Los Olivados."

I nearly had a car accident the 1st time I heard Ill Wind, I was driving and found it hard to see with tears of laughter. That one and the Honeysuckle and Bindweed are my favorites.

I defy anyone not to feel happier after listening, my box set lives in the car for those traffic jam moments when only singing along (at random octave) at the top of my voice will destress me.

And the song about the Bedstead Men?

did anyone see Flanders and Swann when they were at the Fortune Theatre -- At the Drop of..., and At the Drop of Another...

I believe Swann bought his pianos in Norwich.

"We're the society for putting broken bedsteads in the ponds" and "So watch the wall, my darling, as the Bedstead Men go by"!!! I've forgotten which folk song that's a take off of now, but I know we sang it at school - it was about smuggling and I remember there was baccy for the priest; anyone know the song I mean?

There was the one about the weather too - "Farmers fear unkindly May - frost by night and hail by day" and "In July the sun is hot. Is it shining - no it's not!" Sums up British weather perfectly!

Well, this thread seems to have struck a chord with a lot of us. What fun to remember all the songs again.

So watch the wall, my darling, as the Bedstead Men go by"

Yes - I think your reference to smugglers was spot on - wasn't it called the Smugglers' Song ?

I'll see if I can remember find a bit more

(yes - here we are ... there's more on google ! )

Five and twenty ponies
Trotting through the dark -
Brandy for the Parson.
'Baccy for the Clerk;
Laces for a lady, letters for a spy,
And watch the wall, my darling, while the Gentlemen go by!

There are one or 2 clips on youtube - I remember the gasman one from years back - wonderful!

Oh, well done, maggiemay! Yes, that's the one - I remember doing it with our school choir when I was 12 or 13. What a trip down memory lane this has been!

I've done that several times with my school choir - there's both a unison and a 2-part version.

I believe the words are Kipling's and the music is by Christopher le Fleming.

Great stuff!!

Both of these recordings, made in 1957-60 and 1964, as well as the Bestiary album (1967), were produced by George Martin whose other famous (or infamous) productions include:

Right said Fred, and The Hole In The Ground (sung by Bernard Cribbins)
Goodness Gracious me (Peter Sellers and Sophia Loren)
My Boomerang Won't Come Back (Charlie Drake)
Nellie The Elephant (Mandy Miller)
Sun Arise (Rolf Harris)
Amarillo (Neil Sedaka)

Not to mention . . .

You'll Never Walk Alone (Gerry and the Pacemakers)
That Was The Week That Was (Miilcent Martin & David Frost)
My Kind of Girl (Matt Monro)

As well as most of the stuff recorded by Cilla Black, Billy J Kramer and the Dakotas, some stuff by Cleo Laine & John Dankworth, Shirley Bassey, A recording of Gershwin's "Somebody Loves Me" by Meatloaf, etc. etc. . . .

. . . and almost all the recordings of some band from the 60's called the Beatles!