QUOTE(nickjones8 @ Jun 7 2008, 01:24 PM)
'When I was 17, may father knew nothing. When I met him again after several years, I was surprised at how much the old man had learned'.
Or, in the words of my Grandad, "when I were seventeen, I thought my father were ever such a fool. By I were twenty-one, I were capped how much he'd learnt!"
I think most of us bond more with one parent than the other. I always told my mum everything. This was fairly natural, I suppose. She had always taken me to school when I was younger, while my dad went to work. Thus, she knew everyone etc, while my dad wasn't quite so tuned in. My mum herself worked for the second part of the week, and she was a teacher in the same area as my dad was a teacher. This meant that she knew everything that was going on with me, but also what was going on with my dad, as she worked in an almost identical line to him. My mum was dazzlingly efficient, and did domestic things on the days she wasn't teaching. It all seemed to work somehow.
When my mum died, it was suddenly clear as to how much closer I had been to her than I had been to my dad. I had always spoken to my dad, but if there was something "below surface level" that was worrying me or whatever, I had always spoken to my mum. Since I was 14 by this time, I found it very hard to suddenly bond with my dad and speak to him in the way I always had with my mum. Thus, we never really had a great deal of discussion about how we felt about things as they went along - we were just fairly quiet with each other and trod our own paths. We've never really been as close as I'd like, because we've never been able to open up to each other, because we never used to. This means that communication hasn't always been brilliant, which hasn't improved things in general.
I could go on and on like this, but I won't, or I'd be here forever. It is almost ironic when we get so that we have to "look after" parents. I wish my mum could have seen some of the things and met some of the wonderful people who have come about over the past couple of years.
There was a sort of "moral" to finish all this off... When I think what it was, I'll come back...