I feel in response to some recent messages in this forum that I should clarify that our jurisdiction extends only as far as what we can see in the public forums - we cannot act directly on the content of private messages or the behaviour of forum members to each other in other online or offline contexts. It is certainly helpful for us to know the background to a particular issue so that we can be sensitive when responding but much as we may sympathise personally we are only able to apply our own forum rules as objectively as possible.
If you have a concern with the behaviour of another forum member, please do not air this provocatively in the public forums but approach a moderator directly by private message so that we are immediately notified of a problem and able to act. Even if you feel an aggressive public response is justified by the other member's behaviour, it will invariably feed the flames and worsen the situation and will lead to us needing to reluctantly delete posts and close threads, as we do in instances where we feel a thread is degenerating into a personal attack.
Similarly, you are very welcome to question the decision of a moderator when a post or thread is deleted - or indeed regarding any issue! - but please ensure that you do this directly by personal message and not on the public forums. Firstly, this ensures that we will see and be able to quickly respond to your concern and secondly, it helps prevent the original problem from resurfacing.