I think communicating with childs music teachers is essential. I don't know where I would be if I wasn't able to talk to them about progress, instruments and music.

I also try and tell them if there are any significant things happening or if daughter is bogged down with GCSE coursework.

We are really lucky that all our current teachers are easy to deal with. It's not always been like that.

We use all the obvious methods face to face, email, text and telephone.

How do other people communicate with their teacher? Is the consensus that it is vital or do some people not mind?

From a teacher's point of view, I try to encourage as much communication as I can - as well as written reports, I also offer parents the opportunity call in for a chat during the last lesson of each term. Sadly, the reality is only a small number, if any take me up on this offer... Occasionally some might call in at the end of a lesson, but this is rare, and most children are dropped off on the other side of the road, and at the end of the lesson, the parent is sitting ready in the getaway car... I'd always be willing to answer parents' questions (so long as they don't become too frequent as I think that then we're getting to a point where they don't actually trust me to do my job), though they rarely have any! I can only encourage those who seek to play an active and supportive role in their child's music education!

...racing away from the scene of the musical crimes?

I teach from home, and I find the majority of the parents will come to the door for a few words either at the beginning or end of the lesson, and this is a good way to keep communication going. However, I don't always want to discuss things in front of the child (I don't want them to think I am making a big thing of whatever it is, just because I am speaking to Mum or Dad, but a quick word is often all that is needed to correct a misunderstanding or whatever). I sometimes follow up with an email, and find that works best for some of the parents who prefer to wait in the car.

Also, I often find that I start writing in the notebook, and then get distracted by what is going on in the lesson, so I sometimes worry that my instructions are too brief or vague, so will sometimes email to clarify a point.

I tend to prefer email enquiries from parents, because this gives me time to check things and give a considered response, rather than rattling off a hasty reply on the hoof. A few write little notes in the practice notebook, which I find helpful eg x found this difficult or we have worked hard on y this week. I sometimes do the same for my children's teachers.

As a teacher - I ring and text, and am happy for parents to ring and text me whenever they want to. If I'm busy or teaching I'll get back to them. I don't use email to communicate; text messages will be seen faster, as most people carry their mobiles all the time. I also try to encourage use of the notebooks as much as possible. Quite often I'll text just to say "See notebook", because as well as them seeing the important message they'll also see my other comments and instructions, and are more likely to make sure the child is doing what it's supposed to. I have no parents who come to the door; I'd rather send the child out when I'm ready rather than have the door knock when Junior's half way through the last line. If it's a pupil at the door they'll come in quickly and wait quietly, and Junior knows to keep going, but a parent tends to mean 'stop', because either they make conversation with me or else Junior has books in bag by the time I come back from the door. So I tell them that I'll just send the child out when the lesson's over as long as I see them out there in the car. As well as this, a chatting parent between lessons can hold the next pupil's lesson up.

So, in short, I'm happy for parents to communicate at any time, but not between lessons unless it's urgent. As both a teacher and a parent I agree with notmusimum that communication is vital - even with parents of older teenagers.

Some of my parents have my mobile number- as text is good! These parents are the ones whose children I have been teaching for a long time!
Some use email.... some ring me up- but if I'm teaching that's a rubbish way of communicating as I don't answer!

I give most of my school based pupils my home number and email. One prep school I teach in I find very odd, as all the admin is done from school, so I don't have any contact with the parents at all- apart from I write termly reports. I don't like it One did write me a note in the practice book and I gave him my phone number but he didn't reply!

I contact DD2's violin teacher by text! She's a friend so I do occasionally see her! DD2's piano teacher is a friend and I see her in a school I teach. Don't have any contact with DD1's teachers- she boards- but she is in 6th form so that's ok... she listens and knows her own mind!

I'd like to be able to leave my front door open and have pupils come in and wait, but after two walk-in burglaries in recent years, I can't do that. One fine day, I shall have my conservatory rebuilt, and then they can wait in there (adjacent to my teaching room). I think I must have my parents pretty well trained - lessons are rarely interrupted, and I tend to open the door once - one in, one out, and there is usually time for a brief word if necessary while children are packing up/unpacking.

DS' lessons are at school and completely organised by the Music Trust. We don't get to hear much from them or the school, just a list on the music board regarding day/time of lessons. We tend not to find out if teacher is sick etc until DS or his friends go to the lesson and Teacher isn't there!!! I find this very frustrating, although when I have contacted the trust they have been very helpful. I did mention it to Teacher once and he now tries to let me know directly, which I appreciate.

DS has a practice diary which I make a point of writing in weekly and Teacher does the same. He usually speaks to DS about my comments! He also gave me his Mobile number and email address. I tend to email him as I think that this is less intrusive, although sometimes he is very forthcoming and other times not. Again frustrating! I hope that he doesn't think we don't trust him to do his job (as Seer_Green says) but we do like to be involved and know what's going on, and I do try to keep it to a minimum, as he has a life too! And we really do think that he is a good teacher - he seems to suit our DS anyway.

Anyone with DSs out there will probably understand the lack of information that comes back with them - "How was your lesson?" - "OK", "What did Teacher tell you to do?" - "Don't remember, can I watch TV now?"

We've been incredibly lucky with daughter's out of school teachers. She started cello at 5, and every lesson for almost 9 years I sat and waited for her in her teacher's sitting room, so was always able to have a quick word at the beginning or end of lesson. Current clarinet teacher comes to us (and has done for the last 3.5 years) so again it is straightforward to talk to him when he arrives, and I always sit in the last 5 minutes of the lesson in case it has occurred to him to say anything to me. Recorder teacher - 6 years - is my teacher too (since 2000), and a friend by now, so it is easy to have a quick chat at the end of daughter's lesson which is usually the last of her day. We communicate by email (mostly and phone too).

I am sure that the easy communication with these teachers is part of the reason why we have had a long and successful relationship with them. I certainly very much appreciate being able to talk about any minor molehills before I have worried them into mountains. Of course, when the teacher has something nice to say it's good to be around so they can say it to me as well as my daughter!!

It's not the whole story though, as my daughter has had long and productive relationships with instrumental/singing teachers at school too, even though it has been generally very difficult for me to communicate with them at all. I may have spent more time worrying privately about certain aspects of these lessons but clearly good communication between me and teacher has not been a prerequisite for daughter's success.

In all this time we've only ever fallen out with one teacher who was very determined to have as little to do with me as possible (Wise lady, perhaps). I did write in daughter's note book from time to time, but never got any response. The consequence was that what began as an assortment of minor niggles ultimately became (what she perceived to be) major bones of contention by the time we eventually met up. She thought I was querying her professionalism and gave us the boot! As a professional myself, in a very different field, I wish I had the luxury of being able to fire any pesky client who dares to ask me why I choose to do something as I do..... Anyway, this experience certainly made me appreciate the potential advantages of frequent interaction with teachers.

In fairness, if a parent wished to ask me something or discuss something about their child's musical education, I wouldn't personally find it acceptable for this to be done by handwritten note in a notebook. These things are much better discussed face to face or by telephone. Would you expect your clients to communicate with you in this way?

If parents write notes in the book, I nearly always write back- I quite appreciate the comments! It's how low key communication is carried out with teachers and parents about reading- through the reading record. It seems an obvious way to communicate- especially when the parent doesn't have my contact details because the school manages the lessons! Parents often write "XXXX has been unwell this week, so very little practise'- it tells me what I need to know, in a v quick way! To b quite honest, ringing me in the evenings isn't better as I'm either teaching or with my family then!!!!

No, but I am always at the end of a phone if a client phones and I cannot, and would not, refuse to speak to them. If they ask for a meeting then one will be arranged as soon as possible. I would have loved to have an early face to face meeting or phone call with this person, but had to resort to the notebook as this was my only option...

When I wrote in the notebook it was generally to convey information - eg about daughter's commitments to exams in other instruments, and was occasionally accompanied by a request that the teacher phone me, which she never did. This was a teacher in school. I did not have her phone number or email address. I could have sent a note via the music department, but to my mind that is not much better than, or different from writing in the note book.

Teachers on this forum often urge parents to communicate by notebook for all sorts of very good reasons.

Seems I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't though..

Of course, I'm speaking from a private teacher's perspective, and I can see it's harder with school teachers/peris.

Why would you not find this method of communication acceptable? Perhaps it's not suitable for a significant or sensitive issue, but it seems perfectly adequate to me for day-to-day queries. I've certainly come across several "official" notebooks designed by schools or music services which have sections specifically intended to be used for correspondence between parent and teacher.

Although we don't know all the background to the case Halka has described, I find this sacking of pupils business to be a bit prima donna-ish. The act of questioning a teacher does not of course necessarily mean the teacher is in the wrong, but nor does it mean they're automatically in the right!

I think communicating with a school peri is possibly the hardest thing of all.

B1's piano teacher comes to the house and has a cup of tea and a biscuit and if he has time we'll talk for a few minutes after the lesson - he's a good forward planner and is very aware of B1's other commitments (violin and dancing, both of which he has accompanied before).

B2's piano teacher is a private teacher who happens to teach in school. We already knew her before he started lessons because she had been B1's exam accompanist in dim and distant Grade 2 days and have her home phone number (which I have never used) and her mobile, which I text, mostly about practical things like rescheduling lessons on non pupil days and buying new books etc. We also use the notebook - especially for feedback on general progress and things that crop up during practice.

B1's violin teacher is a Music Services peri. She's a great teacher and a very kind and helpful lady but she isn't her own boss the same way that the others are and, especially in the early days, she was manacled by school and council procedures. For the first 18 months the only contact we had was a list of pieces in a notebook and a termly report where she had to tick a box per lesson for good, satisfactory or unsatisfactory! It was only when a personal crisis arose in her life that we had to get together to reschedule lessons outside school hours in my own home and I got to know her. We now text when we need to and no longer communicate through the school - but I am aware that this is actually not considered 'best practice' by the powers that be. It's a pity that the barriers that the schools and Music Services place between teachers and parents, although they are there for teachers' protection, actually hamper them and their students.

I am very grateful for notes in the notebook. Maybe a parent doesn't want to bother the teacher by ringing outside of lesson time, and is sending a message that will be read in lesson time? If it seems significant enough, the ball has been put in our court (as the teacher) to either respond with a quick note or ring, as appropriate. The parent may not be sure whether it's appropriate to ring.

Seer green has said I think that most pupils are dropped off at his house. There is a clear way for a parent to speak to him, come to the door with child at the beginning of the lesson. (Not the end, when it would run into the next lesson) But this is very different from a child having lessons in school, particularly at senior school where the children go in on their own and make their own way home.

If a teacher objects to being addressed through the book it is up to them to make it clear at the start of proceedings, after all the parent is the client, not the child. The parent is paying for the lessons and receives information on what has happened in the lesson via the notebook, so the natural way to respond is through the book. I am always very aware, particularly with a new teacher that I must not come across as pushy / interfering.

I can't see how a teacher could object to a comment in the practice diary saying. "Not much practice this week, in bed with upset stomach" or " I'm not sure XXXX understands where to breathe in this piece" Surely a face to face discussion of these things would just waste half the lesson. However it would be appropriate to speak face to face to cancel / rearrange a lesson, discuss payment or things like that.

Gracious me...talk about being shouted down

I'm willing to stand corrected on this...maybe I'm just old-fashioned about it. Messages written in notebooks are not something I've come across in any of my teaching; I also haven't come across it with any of my teachers over the past 20 years. It's not something I can imagine doing for any of my teachers, but I totally accept that in certain situations (i.e. peri teaching) it obviously works wonders. I am in no way against parents communicating (which you'll see if you read back to my original post); in fact, I wholeheartidly encourage it, and make it clear which methods should be used. I think that in fairness, there's a difference between little notes which say "not much work this week" and messages which are actually asking questions about stuff.

I'm not sure having a note book really "works wonders". The teacher with whom we fell out is the only one of daughter's in school teachers who has ever used a note book, and perhaps I should not have looked on it as an invitation to communicate? The other two peris at school did not/do not use notebooks and we have remained on good terms, in so far as we have much to do with each other. I do have the home phone numbers of each of them, and have used these very sparingly. Nevertheless, reassuring to know that, in principle, they are willing to talk to me if they must!!

You're not being shouted down! But it's surprising how different all our attitudes are to a simple notebook. I see it as the first line of communication with regard to issues like "Had an unusually busy week" (parent), "Ten minutes a day is not enough for progress" (me), "Struggling to get x to practise that piece as he seems not to like it (parent)", "X can't make it on x week; any chance you could reschedule?" (parent), or "We need to focus more on...." (me) All these messages are read and understood in seconds, whereas a phone call or discussion at the end of a lesson can ramble on for ages.

I nearly always go to at least a part of my children's music lessons, and think that this helped them make more progress than they might otherwise have done.

I really wouldn't have a clue how to help them otherwise, having previously not known one end of a violin from the other. Some might say "oh they will end up completely incapable of practising by themselves" - that isn't the case, it just means that they make more progress because as we know children love to Play their pieces not Practise them and I make sure they play them AND practise the bits they're sposed to!!

Fortunately we have fantastic teachers, who welcome my inclusion - the violin teacher strongly feels that learning works best when there's a strong teacher-parent-pupil relationship, as then when he's not there, I can ensure things get done... The cello teacher expects me to shut up and listen unless spoken to, but that's fine by me!!

Of course, that doesn't work if your child is taught at school - When my children were taught in school, I asked to go the lessons sometimes - I used to go about once a term, which meant at least the teachers knew who I was and it opened up the lines of communication.

I write notes about things that seem significant in the practice notebook that the music service provides - there is a space for parent comment as well as a practice tick box. One peri teacher sent his email address saying please feel free to contact him; the other always responds to any points I make in the book. I don't do it that often - the things I have explicitly put in are to do with, eg, difficulty with bowhold or poor posture - these are issues that I can see but only a word from the teacher will make the child believe me (!) I have these conversations face to face with the private piano teacher. Sometimes I write something in the notebook when there's been a breakthrough, as well - and I do write things in the piano notebook if something occurs to me midweek and I don't want to forget, and I don't want to delay the next pupil - particularly when there's been something that DS won't believe is an issue and reinforcement is needed from the expert.

(and before I am pounced on as an interfering parent, I have never been contradicted on any of the points I've raised...)

I for one know exactly what you mean. As parents there are times when we need to communicate small points to the teacher and have to do that in the most economical way.

Oh yes, I recognise that one - and about 1001 variations on the same conversation! I resort to the notebook a lot as a result.

I'm Music Service peri and I think the Music Service is right to tell us not to give out home/mobile numbers and email addresses. If I taught maths I wouldn't expect my pupils' parents to have all these details. I think we are all entitled to our privacy, aside from the protection issue.

That said, if a parent leaves a message with the school, or a note in the child's Practice Diary, which I write in each lesson, I will always ring them if they wish to talk to me. I have to say I have never had any difficulties with this and I don't think it has hampered my teaching or my pupils' progress.

Also as a Music Service peri, all pupils get a music service notebook which I write in every lesson or have loose backup sheets to give the pupil if they don't bring their notebooks. Loose sheets are a pain because they will often get lost but it is required for me to use them as a record of the lesson to the child. There is space here for parents to write notes to me and vice versa. There is also space in the front of the book for me to provide my contact details - phone number and/or email as I wish. I never get parent contact details unless the parent chooses to give them to me or if I liaise through the music service in the case that I need to contact the parent. I'm always happy for a parent to contact me if they wish to and I tell the pupils this. In reality the majority don't but some do, even if it's not very often, and it i useful to have a direct conversation on occasions rather than "passing notes" though a notebook.

As a private teacher as well, I see the majority of parents every week so communication is easy and those parents I don't see, can always contact me if they need to and I can also contact them.

Really lovely week of good parent-teacher-pupil communication. I read so many threads on the forum which show teachers having problems with parents (and vice versa) but our 3 teachers really are brilliant.

B1's violin and piano teachers collaborated in order to create a great opportunity to get together with the children taking violin exams next week to practise playing with an accompanist (I provided the drinks and biscuits.) Not only that but B1's teacher is even taking her from school to the exam venue for me so I can get back in time to pick up B2!

My day was made however by my conversation with B2's piano teacher who stopped me in the street to tell me how lovely he is to teach, how hard he works, and what a good supportive parent I am!

Maybe she could put that in writing for B2's class teacher!

Just realised this doesn't tell you a lot about communication and is probably just me having a gloat. Ah well ....
gloat ... gloat .. gloat.

I've done all those things on more than one occasion in the past, but it doesn't mean I don't still get the difficult ones!

I completely disagree! With nearly 20 years of dealing with several music teachers I have always been given, when asked, a mobile phone number and/or an email by a Music peri! Previous to the prolific use of mobiles, I have been given a home phone number with an answering machine attached so that the Music Peri can return my call to discuss my child's progress (or lack of it).

As a home teacher myself I have - at the last count - five different email addresses and two mobile phone numbers; one for family and friends and one for parents & students.

The difference for peri teachers is that their contract is with the music service, and I can understand why, in the same way it applies to school teachers, peri's wouldn't be encouraged to give out their home contact details to parents.

I'm not sure the analogy with a school teacher is entirely accurate. I don't have to pay extra for my kids to have their ordinary school lessons, plus there are reasonably clear mechanisms in place for me to contact the school to discuss any concerns face to face. I can perhaps understand why you don't want to be giving out personal contact details, but in my view the music service should really be providing its peris with work mobiles or email addresses for parents to use instead. The notebook method is OK, but it does mean in particular that urgent issues - eg exam entries - can't be sorted out as quickly as may be necessary.

I am employed directly by the college I teach at, and we are expressly forbidden from giving students our personal details. All contact with parents is made through the music department.

mmm...this is what I suspected is usually the direction given. I can see the reasoning behind this; teaching someone in a school is very different to teaching them at home where you make direct contact with the parents.

Absolutely agree...those are clear mechanisms in place for contact to discuss concerns with both parties with the regular school subjects.


I have never had a music peri ever refuse to give me a mobile number , but I have had one say "Oh I am not supposed to give this to you but clearly I need to, just dont tell anyone"
If the music department can cope with contact from several parents of music students re concerns then fine, but I suspect that most Music HoDs have'nt got the time or admin staff to deal with the nitty gritty queries.

Yes, we have. One full-time music administrator who deals with queries, lesson timetables, exam entry etc.

The daft thing is I often teach students in college who are past pupils from school or home, and naturally their parents (and they) have all my details.

I've also had home, mobile and email contacts for some of the Peris that have work with my daughters. I hope that I've always used them in a reasonable way. As my youngest has always attended the Arts Centre and all her lessons have been based there it's never been a problem to speak to teachers.

There is a difference between Peris and school teachers. Parents always know where the school teacher is if they need to discuss anything with them. I'm not suggesting all Peris should give out their mobile numbers but email contact would be useful.

I'm not saying which is right either way, but peris are in a different position to private teachers in the sense that their contract is with the music service/school rather than the parents direct, which inevitably means that they are governed by the requirements of their employer. If the general advice to peris is not to give out personal contact details, then this is the advice they are presumably expected to follow; if they choose not to, then that is of course, entirely up to them; however, if anything went wrong in such circumstances, then this could come back to bite them - that is a risk they take. Even as a private teacher, I have to say that I have become more and more concerned about giving contact details out, not just to parents but through advertising and internet listings.

I see your point for advertising and listings but surely you get to know the parents of your private pupils well enough to be able to make a judgement.

I really don't see how a parent having a teachers contact details could lead to anything inappropriate unless either party were unbalanced in the first place.

Personally I'd always want to afford my daughters teachers the respect I'd want for myself. I imagine most parents wouldn't misuse details. I totally understand other directives like not giving pupils lifts. Thankfully most of our teachers are intelligent enough to judge situations as they arise. I suppose it's slightly different when we've known the Music Service Peris at least six years in most cases.

You're probably right, but I think the point is more to do with professional conduct and adhering to the requirements/guidance/advice of your employer. This will apply to most professions in some way or another.

I agree with tonedeafmum's comment. I know how to contact the maths teachers at school. I don't know how to contact the peris. I haven't been told how it might be possible to contact them. I have phoned the music service to ask about instrument loan and have been told that I'm not suppose to do that, the school is. They haven't actually hung up on me, but still - ARGHHHHH. Peris are, by definition, difficult to get hold of... so at the very least an email address would be a Good Thing. Sometimes I get to drop DS2 off at his lesson if he gets the early slot but I daren't actually TALK to the teacher because 20 minutes between two pupils goes practically nowhere... The children's lessons don't take place in their own school, either - it's only because about once every 6 weeks I take DS2 into the secondary school for his lesson that starts before primary school opens that I have spoken to a member of the music department... I have no idea whether the teachers are employed by the LEA or the school, it has never been made clear to me.

Sorry, this sounds like a whine, but please, do realise that most parents do not know "the system".

I can see the difficulty of getting hold of peris organised by county music services, but isn't there an office where they all congregate at different times. Our peris have a little music depot attached to one of the primary schools and if I've needed to send them a message, I just email the office in the hope and confidence that the message is passed on.

As a visiting teacher paid by school, I expect most communication to go through music dept at school. Then I talk to head of music about it and she relays message to parent. This is not always totally satisfactory because messages don't always get relayed in exactly the right manner, but nevertheless I'm quite glad to have minimal contact with some parents.

With my own pupils I'm very happy to phone, talk to between lessons, have emails or messages in notebooks. If I'm in a big rush between pupils I'll suggest I contact after I've finished teaching.

We have a little challenge now. Sonny Jim's at boarding school miles away and we shall need to send a sensitive email to the trumpet teacher. I understand from SJ that said teacher doesn't have pigeon hole, doesn't answer/look at email etc. So I'm going to resort to sending email to music dept secretary with a request that she makes sure Mr X gets it, and reads it! It's the only thing I can think of.

If there is, no one has ever told me... which I suppose it what really makes me cross!



Sorry, I do have an issue with this - I think that teachers should make sure that parents can contact them directly. Email is pretty unintrusive!




I really don't see why school pupils should be treated differently! My son's academic teachers will speak to me without going through the head (they will inform the head I am sure but conversation isn't routed through the head)




So you now see what drives me up the wall? At least you actually know that there is a music department secretary...

I find this is very individual - each teacher is quite different in their preferences. I'd love it if teachers handed out their contact details in order of preference...and ideally even with a comment on the kind of contact they think is reasonable. Surprisingly enough, what is "common sense" to one teacher is anathema to another!

Some teachers are really offended by an impersonal e-mail, while others dislike being "invaded" by a phone call, and still others have lessons scheduled so tightly that they don't want to start a discussion even within lesson time in case it spills over...it's hard to get it right by guesswork every time!

Top two communications hitches: "never checked" webmail addresses, and mobiles that default to "refuse" unknown senders - the teacher will send out an e-mail, and then wonder why there is no reply, not realizing that s/he hasn't set Viohazard's address to "trusted".

Hmm, I don't think it's entirely the teacher's fault. I suspect in fact that we're not encouraged to communicate with parents too much. I suppose there are quite a few visiting teachers and we might all have a slightly different viewpoint on certain aspects of school. I do actually have a few email addresses of parents for the purposes of giving exam results in holiday time, and sometimes we have a little bit of communication.

Otherwise our school is good because we have an open lesson in the autumn term to which every parent is invited so they meet us and can ask questions etc. It's very useful for new pupils to set out ideas and expectations.

There would actually be no difficulty in a parent enquiring about progress or otherwise in instrumental lessons. Communication is actually very good between staff so they'd get a reply quickly.

Speaking as a Music Service peri, I'd most definitely NOT want parents having my personal email address! I get enough rubbish already! If I had a school email address it would be different, but I still think we are entitled to a bit of privacy in the same way that class teachers are - i.e. contactable through the school or the Music Service. I don't see why that shouldn't be sufficient. I am always quite happy to phone parents.

Whoops! Posted in error!

Yes but teaching a musical instrument ins't like teaching maths or french is it? There is such a great physical element - how to hold your bow, fiddle, clarinet, bassoon, how to blow, how to breathe how to stand, correct position of your hands on the piano, not to mention how to read/interpret the music/time signature etc........

Also, school music lessons are often only 1/2 hour a week. That's not a lot of contact time to get things embedded. If kids don't understand something at school they can usually ask a friend, or a teacher, or mostly parents can at least have a go at homework, but that doesn't always apply to musical instruments. It's no good if you're the only bassoonist/oboist/double bass player in your school, and you've got stuck on something, and no one at home knows how to help or who to contact.

Case in point - daughter called her violin teacher tonight as she's in the "talent show" tomorrow and got stuck on her bowing - was a 30 second call, he was happy to help, she could get on with her practice. It's not a regular occurrence, but great to be able to do it if necessary.

Even though I had good relationships with the two school peripatetic teachers my children have had, all our music lessons are now out of school. Progress is much quicker, enjoyment greater.

It could be a while before you get the message, "Please phone me", though. It might be something that cropped up in a lesson that the parent wants to discuss, and if the parent writes "Please phone me" in the notebook it will a week before you see it. An exam or performance might be imminent. My experiences of going through school secretaries have not always been good. It is this lack of communication that is a main reason for my never having been keen to use peris; I would always opt for a private, out of school, teacher wherever possible.

As both parent and teacher I would agree with this, though I don't understand why. The lessons I give in school are the same length as the private ones (on the whole). The only conclusion I've come to is that coming to a private lesson gives the opportunity for the pupil to be more focussed - ie I'm here for piano, and nothing else, whereas at school some part of the brain is still pondering on what the friends are doing, or what is going on in class.

It isn't always the case, of course, there are always exceptions, and my son made very rapid progress with his trumpet at school in the early days. It'll also depend on the teacher and ethos of the school.

If I could do things differently it would be never to have a peri teacher. All communication has to go through the Head of Music and they make the decision not the Peri. So for example, I asked for some extra lessons in the holidays and the HoM said no without mentioning it to the Peris. If a Peri is off then the lesson cannot be made up and if a child has a compulsory sports match then the lesson is missed and not made up either.

The latest difficulty is DS saying that his chair is too small when he plays the DB and notes stating that he must correct posture. With a non-Peri I could go in and ask to see how DS should be sitting, the best seat to use etc.

When I think about it, it is madnes that we pay money for a service and are not allowed to have any input or communication with the tutor.

I think DS is also at the stage where he could benefit from a 45 minute lesson but that is not going to happen!

But this is not the case everywhere, and it certainly wasn't the case when I was at school. If you're not happy, why not change to a private teacher - it would solve all these problems you face and probably be infinitely better value.