I, as some of you will know have tremendous difficulty learning to sight read piano music and many times when I'm playing I just think fast enough to be able to read the next notes/chords and put them into action in time so as not to disrupt the timing of the piece.

But I have been on antidepressant medication for fifteen years, firstly good old Prozac and then citalopram. Recent ill spells mean that if I go back to the health centre, I'll get put onto a third one and I fear that greatly.

But back to the subject. I feel that my ability to learn new things (for example the skill of sight reading) is being greatly impeded by my antidepresants, as they may be 'slowing down' my brain. I have been told that my age (42) is nothing to do with this, and I know my teacher has lots of senior citizens who are doing successfully what I'm struggling to do so much so that it threatens to take away the fun of learning to play a musical instrument.

Has anybody else had, or is having instances with prescription antidepressant drugs slowing down their ability to play music?? I would be very interested to read other people's experiences (if you don't want to share them in public, PM me instead) I know I am no stranger to learning things, in 5 years in the 1990s I picked up the Welsh language that I became a fluent speaker and even now it just will not leave my head. And I don't have any Welsh in me at all - so I'm no thicko!!!!

Thank you

LK.

Both fluoxetine and citalopram are called selective seratonin reuptake inhibitors. Basically they reduce the amount of seratonin being wasted in the brain. There is no reason why you should be suffering to play piano while taking these unless the side effects are making you feel groggy or spaced out. Your ability to learn new things should not be inhibited by the medication - you say yourself you have learned other things from scratch! Lack of motivation, difficulty concentrating, feeling tired...these are all classic symptoms of depression. So if you find you are not in the mental frame of mind to practice sightreading and achieve goals, it might mean that its not the antidepressants causing the issues, but rather the dosage needs altering/drug changing to treat the underlying symptoms of depression. Once that is regulated you may find your motivation and concentration improve.

I would be wary about trying to blame them as thecause of your issues. It sets a negative mindset 'I need to be on them so I will never be able to sightread' and having something to blame your struggles on (no offence intended here) means you are less likely to progress. Its like admitting defeat without pushing yourself.

Like any musical instrument, piano takes time to learn, and we all come across bits that sometimes can't be resolved in a few hours. Accumulating good sight reading skills can take years of practice, and unfortunately some people just don't attain the level of skill they want.

So I'd not worry about the antidepressants. Set yourself up with a realistic practice plan with realistic goals and just keep pushing yourself.

You do need to keep in mind that sight-reading is pretty much the most difficult aspect of learning an instrument. Your sight-reading skills will be, on average, 2 grades behind your playing skills. If I were you, I'd just stop beating myself up about sight-reading and enjoy playing

with carol.

By the way, if you are thinking of taking an exam ( as opposed to acquiring the useful skill of sight-reading for its own sake), have you looked at the TG syllabus? You get a choice - to offer sight-reading or - not . Choose 2 out of Musical Knowledge, Sight-reading, aural ( based purely on listening - no singing required) and Improvisation. In other words, you can be tested on your strengths. In my view, the repertoire (for piano, at least) seems harder than that set for AB (sweeping generalisation, but....), but is often more interesting. And you can check out the difference in the amount of technical work required.

Some of my best and most musical students have yet to acquire anything like fluent sight-reading skills.

Also bear in mind that for a poor sight-reader, that test is not worth beating yourself up over. For the AB the total mark is 21. The "pass" mark - and remember, it's just an aggregate that gets you through the eam, not "passing" every section - is 14. And what do you get if you put on a really poor show at sight-reading? 3? 4? No, you might get as low as 10. Possibly even 9, I think I've seen that. But it's likle these jokes about eams where you get 5-% for spelling your name right: as long as you actually do it, you'll get some marks. From what you say, it doesn't sound as though you'd be as low as 9 or 10 anyway.

I can tell you that I had a young lady pass grad 5 singing several years ago with distinction and a mark of about 11 for sight-reading. She did have good aural and a string of 28s and a 29 for her songs, though.

It REALLY is not worth beating yourself up about, Lee We had a thread on teachers' forum recently (which I started) comparing the benefits of "cold" sight-reading and quick study, and, yes, there were a few people who said they had to be able to sight-read first-off as part of their job. But many people don't - I don't think you're aiming to, are you? So why do you need to sight-read?
1. To be able to learn to play a new piece
2. To join in with other musicians (like playing duets)
3. To pass a sight-reading test or not fail by too much.

1 - if you're larning the mujsic in your own time you are permitted to make as many mistakes as you like, and to bash and re-bash notes (as long as you're wearing those headphones)
2 - if you get to the point when you're reading through for the first time with other people, you are allowed to skip bits, as long as you know where you should be, or play just one hand for w while. If they don't like you doing that, don't play with them again
3 - is surprisingly the first reason given me by some of my pupils when I ask them why they learn to sight-read, which I think is sad. For almost all people it's not like Real Life.

I know you're practising Sight Reading with Sight-Rreading tests, and it's very laudable, but I do think you might actually improve your sight-reading just as quick by trying out (don't even call it sight-reading) music you think you might like. Lots of it. And allowing yuourself to be as messy as you like. And it doesn't haver to be the one thing or the other. Prsctising the Sight-Reading tests does prepare you well for a Sight-rReading section of an exam, but I doubt it will bring you the joy of just exploring new music in your own good time

(Takes off my Heretics'r'Us hat)

Me too. Approaching Grade 7 oboe (so only 1 note at a time!!) I am just starting to feel a bit comfortable with having a piece of sight reading plonked in front of me.

My key to success I'm sure is covering loads of new repertoire and being in 2 windbands and 2 orchestras which constantly throw in new material.

Oh and I'm 58.

It's a long slow road.


Good point. Despite considering myself to be a poorish sight reader I haven't had less than 17 in an exam. Largely I suspect because I get the rhythm generally right. The notes are a bonus.

I agree with others. Take sight reading at a steady pace. I've recently started using the Paul Harris 'How To Improve Your Sight reading' books. There's one for every grade. I would recommend you have a look at these- apologies if you are already.

As for citalopram...I was on these myself for two and a half years up until Christmas last year. They did slow down my concentration and ability to play...but they pretty much slowed down my ability to think about most things all the time I was on them. It was extremely frustrating, but I tried not to get too worked up about it- with various levels of success. One day I could play ok- another it was a disaster. I just left the piano and went off and did something else instead. I learnt that the more frustrated I became, the worse it got. Quite often I couldn't care less if I never played piano again.

I was almost 40 when I first started playing piano, and was 46 when I needed citalopram. I'm 49 now and am gradually getting back on my feet..both mentally and in regards to music.

From earlier replies to my question I was going to take a rain check on going back to the GP's, and put it down to my extremely negative thought patterns. But I'm glad that you know how it feels, having been on the same 'happy pill' as what I'm on now. I feel like some times there is this thick mist between my eyes and music stand, or that there is 'something' that's stopping the information from sinking in. My teacher has put me onto the Paul Harris IYSR grade 2 book, which I started at stage 1 exactly one week ago today. I follow what he says to the letter and when I do play the exercises I do them slower than Dead Slow. Sometimes I can play them perfectly, other times I don't sharpen or flatten buy I try to keep a good rhythm.

I do hope to God that I will be ready to take the exam in June/July, but maybe a visit to my GP will be in order. I first started playing when I was only a couple of years younger than you, primrose.....however I convinced myself I wasn't that good (was the depression talking) and only started again in January.

Along the lines of what linda.ff said, here's what I do. Every time I practise, I do a bit of sight reading - maybe 5 mins or so. I do a bit from a book like Paul Harris, an example test, and (the good bit) one or two things from a graded repertoire book like Classics to Moderns or Romantic Piano or Keyboard Anthology. This is actually enjoyable! and a reward for the Paul Harris / test exercise. Of course you could choose any old book for this, but the advantage of a graded book is you can gear it more to what you are trying to achieve (2 grades below your general playing level).

I also sometimes go over old Paul Harris / example tests at a level below where I currently am (or should be), trying to obey ALL the performance instructions, which sadly usually go by the board.

Good luck with it - I dream that one day it will all fall into place, I will be reading 2 bars ahead etc etc ... (not happened yet!)

PatC

I've felt like this too many times to count over the past few months in the run-up to my G8 piano exam. It's unbelievably frustrating when it varies so much from day to day and I know I don't really want to give up but sometimes it is so irritating. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has felt like that.


I understand the 'brain fog' effect only too well. I'm on 3 different psych meds - an anticonvulsant, an atypical antipsychotic and an atypical antidepressant - and the mist that you mention is very familiar. In my piano lesson last week I was having a particularly foggy day and had a G8 sight-reading put in front of my (my exam is in 2 weeks), noted that it was in A major and got to the end of the first line before I realised I wasn't playing any G sharps. I have known the key of A major for about 15 years but on that day my brain decided it only had 2 sharps, even though it was written in front of me.

Sight-reading is challenging, and it does take a long time to work on - I'm still not brilliant at it now but I'm a lot better than I was two and a half years ago when I started playing again after a 3-year break. Progress can be very slow and it can feel like none is being made but gradually it will come. The negative thoughts don't help when progress is something that really needs to be measured in months and years rather than days or weeks, but if you keep at it you will improve. Showing up is half the battle - if you practise sight-reading every day, even just a little bit then it will add up.

I think I'll print out this thread and read it in bed!

BTW I'm on anticonvulsants too, Carbamazepine 200mg, have been since 1985 but that doesn't seem to have stopped me from picking up Cymraeg really quickly!!

Have a chat with your GP. As well as citalopram, I had some terrific counselling which helped enormously. Last summer I decided that I'd had enough of taking tablets, and with my GP and counsellors support, I was gradually weaned off them. Sometimes I think I should go back and ask for more (I still have some dark moments) but I use the coping techniques my counsellor gave me instead. I've been studying for various courses and am fortunate enough to have a small teaching practice which gives me something to keep busy with! I started singing lessons again just before Christmas last year, and am preparing for grade six to take this winter.

So..it is possible to get out of a dark place, but you must pace yourself. Work towards grade three, but wait until the winter session in Nov/Dec perhaps? By then, you'll be well on the way with your sight-reading.

Pick up random pieces and sight read the first four bars, or start somewhere in the middle of the piece. Your teacher is doing the right thing I think. I was going to suggest going back a grade or two. Take time to analyse what you see before playing it. Try and 'hear' the tune in your head before you play it. Sing everything you play too. All this sort of thing is covered in the IYSR books.

All the best.

Citalopram and the other SSRIs, fluoxetine, sertraline, and paroxetine, are used for those needing to keep a clear head, as first line management for depression. I agree with aesir22 on this one - the process of the illness is what is more likely to be causing a slowed up feeling for you than the medication. We use them when we know patients will have to be able to focus: we know that in the first couple or three weeks of starting, some feel an increase in anxiety, but this settles, and starting on a low dose first off helps avoid the worst of that. Mums of young babies prefer them to the sedative sorts, so that they are better able to wake up for their children through the night: whilst some can end up feeling more snoozy on them, in general they're taken in the mornings because they are most likely to keep people awake if taken at bed time.

There are several other classes of antidepressant, some of which do have a sedative effect, as do many of the antipsychotics. Anticonvulsants are different, and some of these can impair coordination: they're probably more likely to cause difficulties with fine motor learning - for instance, I know a woodwind player who lost the ability to double-tongue through developing epilepsy and needing a particular anticonvulsant to control that.

I agree with many of the others - I'd not beat yourself up over one single skill - it may be a very useful one, but there are many who never find it that easy to do, so you're not alone in this, and if doing exams, it's a relatively small chunk of the marks. Failing scales, my bete noire, didn't stop me managing to get a distinction at grade 7 - and after that I too got wise to the best strategy for me, and decamped to Trinity, which gave me an opportunity to show off my musicality in alternative, equally valid ways .

I know the 'brain fog'effect only too well ..., too, as I was on benzodiazepenes for quite a long time for sleeping problems. About 6 years ago, though, I decided my doctor was doing the wrong thing and hit upon Professor heather Ashton's site for benzo users and gradually came off them with a very carefully tailored taper (suggested on the site). I helped myself by participating on the Benzodiazepine Forum and offered to translate Ashton Manual for benzo users into Italian and Spanish and slowly managed to beat the addiction in no less than 12 (very hard) months, drop by drop until I got to none. I did not have the right perception at first but it was a blessing I 'dropped the drops' and things started to work much better for me. What I found out then (and this gives me the creeps) was that many people are put on these drugs without actually needing them. regrettable, to say the least.
I took up the piano just about at the same time I stopped taking the benzo's and music helped me out of the depression pills had given me.
Back to the topic. Piano sight-reading is just about the most difficult thing to achieve and it has always been by far my weakest point and I continue to find it a very hard skill to develop. However, I must have made progreess as I wouldn't be tackling Grade 7 material otherwise, but I get into a sort of panic every single time I am confronted with a sight-reading exercise. I lack the courage, boldness, clear-mindedness and coordination to make a good job of it. The only way one can anywhere near a good command of sight-reading is overcoming apprehensions, not worrying about the strong sense of embarrassment one gets (even when playing alone, in my opinion) and doing it, doing it systematically every day for no more than 10 minutes, but every single day. If you feel the material you're trying to sight-read is somehow above you use material of a lower standard and find out which point you can start at and go on from. This is the only way and my teacher sees to it I never go without any sight reading (though I am sometimes 'clever' enough to use too much time for other things and not have enough for this nightmarish part of the class .
I have always got pass marks in sight reading but the feeling has always been that the way I sight-read is disastrous and it often is.
To be honest, I do not think the difficulty has to do with any drugs (except extremely strong ones) and loads of people who take no psych meds and never have taken any have great difficulty sight-reading piano music anyway. BTW, my sight-reading with one-line scores is great but the second stave makes the job almost impossible ... however, I hope some good angel will take pity and look down when I take my Grade 7 (in June ) and give me that inspiration needed to play decently well ...

Please note though, benzos are not antidepressants: they're anxiolytics.

Yes, I know, you're right. I felt 'entitled' to speak about my experience because I associate antidepressants and benzo's and view them in similar terms as both have effects on the mind - apart from the body.
I'm no psychiatrist but I presume the difficulties such a large number of people encounter in sight-reading are unrelated to these types of drugs. It is impossible to tell, though, as a true comparison between the same person's performance in the same sight-reading situation when on these drugs and when off them is not possible. It's hard to put into words .. I hope I've made myself clear.


An excellent strategy, both musically and psychologically. I try to do just what you say you do and it works most of the time, only that on other days I feel too lazy to face the frustration involved in sight-reading and so go without it.
A lot of sight-reading has to do with self-confidence and this is a good way of gaining some.

I'm sorry: this is still misleading. They are not similar enough for such comparisons, as they don't have similar effects on the mind, or at least on the way our minds cope. Anxiolytics have a depressant effect, and cause fugginess of thought as a result: antidepressants may slow some up, depending on the sort used, but not in a way which depresses mood. It would be like trying to link the effects of alcohol with those of caffeine, or something. However, as has also already been said, it's also important to factor in the reason we end up on such medication in the first place, and I don't think that sightreading will be significantly affected by citalopram. Certainly, what you say of the experiences of that "brainfog" feeling will sound very familiar to anyone who's had psychological strain - I'm only labouring the point because I so often come across that preconception which links benzos so closely to antidepressants that I have patients refusing to consider the latter because they believe them to be as addictive as the former. I'm no pill-pusher, and tend to be very cautious in prescribing and in what I'll take myself too, but there are times when I can see that the best chance I have of helping someone is medication, and it's frustrating not to be allowed to help. Especially when I've so often seen how medication can be of benefit.

Well I'm still confused - I'm still not sure whether my citalopram/fluoxetine has indeed caused irrepairable damage to my ability to learn, or it's just the condition I'm actually taking the meds for in the first place. I hope it's the latter and I can maybe have some hypnotherapy or something with a view to not treating life as a daily struggle.

I took Citalopram years ago for quite a while, and apart from adjusting during the first couple of weeks (when I felt a bit 'floaty' ), they had no negative effect on my singing/studying abilities at all. Quite the opposite - if nothing had been done, I'd probably have struggled more, since I felt constantly tired (but couldn't sleep, no matter how shattered I was) and unable to really focus. I only had the 'stealth' symptoms, I was more generally disinterested in everything than feeling severely down, so it took a while to get me diagnosed (along the way, they thankfully also found another issue of purely physical nature, which I'm really grateful for, because it had been causing problems for a long time, but had always been dismissed as 'unlikely in a young female'). This is however an individual account. So from own experience, and that's all it is, I'd say it's highly unlikely that Citalopram will affect your sightreading (apart from the adjustment phase) - it's much more likely your general mental health does.

And on top of that: I studied music on postgraduate level, I can sightread well NOW because I had beaten it into my brains and had to do it day in, day out, but I never found it easy (the fact I could learn it however also means virtually everyone can!). Not everyone does, and not everyone has to: I am a complete aural learner, I can memorise music in seconds and immediately reproduce it accurately, and I won't ever forget it again. Sightreading on the other hand? If I HAVE to ...

So I think it's important to acknowledge that it's probably more likely the depression cripples you and causes problems, like others have already said. The meds are, imho, an important first step to make you function again. They are maybe not all that can and should be done, but if it's bad, you need something to get you out of that black hole first BEFORE you can take other steps.

[/quote]
They are not similar enough for such comparisons, as they don't have similar effects on the mind, or at least on the way our minds cope.[/quote]
Both benzodiazepines and antidepressants act directly on the brain, here is the similarity I was referring to, as I said before, and this cannot be denied in spite of the different mechanisms of action.
I agree benzo's and/or antidepressants are sometimes the only way out, that's definitely so in very severe cases, but they're far too often overprescribed, as I know to my cost and doctors are often not cautious enough about how much to prescribe and, especially, how long to prescribe them for..
Ashton Manual is an interesting read as far as benzodiazepines go (and it mentions antidepressants, as well).

I was wrongly diagnosed with depression and put on citalopram for 2 and a half years then paroxetine for a while but neither affected me
It's most likely the condition thats affecting you - perhaps you could have a word with your doc about changing meds or alternatives?

I knew some people on Paroxetine(Seroxat) - you were lucky not to have the sudden 'electric shocks' as they were all having them. Then there was this thing on Panorama about it - apparently it caused quite a stir.

LK. Do NOT worry about the sight-reading test in the the exam. If you're doing ABRSM then it's worth 21 points. You get 7 points for having a go. Keeping going and getting the rhythm right counts for a lot, so that's more points. You can't fail the exam just because of your sightreading. It will be fine.

I'm terrible at sight-reading. It didn't stop me getting a distinction when I took my G8. I've been playing piano for 40 years, but if I'm a bit tired I can struggle to sight-read a Grade 1 piece!

There's more to the piano than sight-reading.

I've not had any noticeable 'slow down' on thinking processes due to any common SSRIs. Some other milder side effects can impact on music reading, though - for example, even a slight light-headedness can make it trickier, and I've also had my vision affected, in particular the speed of adjustment to different focal points, making scanning a new piece much more difficult. (Thinking about it, that was caused by carbamazapine, not an SSRI, but individual reactions to all of these drugs vary enormously.)

My more general response is that using drugs alone isn't the most productive solution, especially when considering relapse prevention: talking therapies are an essential counterpart. For example, someone who has crippling social anxiety would benefit from CBT, but this would be of no help to a person whose problems stem from childhood abuse, who would need a very different theraputic approach.

[quote name='Juan Carlos' date='Mar 12 2012, 07:53 PM' post='1134922']
[/quote]
They are not similar enough for such comparisons, as they don't have similar effects on the mind, or at least on the way our minds cope.[/quote]
Both benzodiazepines and antidepressants act directly on the brain, here is the similarity I was referring to, as I said before, and this cannot be denied in spite of the different mechanisms of action.[/quote]

Yes, but on that line of thinking...pholcodine (a common cough suppressant found in over the counter brands) also acts directly on the brain. Thousands of drugs do.

I think its a bad idea to be suddenly blaming an antidepressant for struggle sight reading. 'Irrepairable damage' from taking citalopram in relation to not being able to learn a specific aspect of an instrument seems a bit far fetched. If its affecting you that way, it should be affecting many areas of your learning? And more in your life? Why just sight reading?

Seriously, don't worry about the citalopram. Let it have its intended effect and set down a good practice routine for sight reading. If you worry too much it will lead to stress which isn't what you want. From a fellow struggler when it comes to sight reading, just keep going. Patience is the key. Best of luck!

Very well said.

There's plenty of evidence of side effects from these drugs, both short-term and also lasting for as long as you take them, but nothing that doesn't go away when you stop.

Even something as simple as tweaking your drug routine so that you're always taking them with meals can make a big difference.

Strangely enough, you'll then get parallel arguments in other threads on other fora (or in my experience, conversations in the hairdressers') about how docs aren't anything like sympathetic enough and won't prescribe when the patient feels they ought to have some "happy pills" - I can't win, can I? My main objection is to the lumping of these two together as you've done, which tends to link them in the minds of others, so that they assume one lot will be "the same as" the other lot. That is not so, and it's singularly unhelpful to those of us who are asked to try and help fix a serious condition (not simple unhappiness, it's much much more than that, and sometimes doesn't even include feeling sad as part of its presentation). Perhaps antidepressants may be overprescribed in some parts of the world: in the one in which I work, there would appear to be anything up to 20% of the population suffering from depression, and our prescribing falls well short of that. Quite right too: there are other approaches which can help milder depression, and generally where it is safe to do so, those are the options I'd go for first.

Thanks aesir22 for your comments, they do help.

I am not clinically depressed and not on antidepressants but on days when I feel anxious or low due to the normal stresses and strains of life, I know that my piano playing goes all over the place. It shows up in all sorts of ways - playing passages wrong that I knew well, missing out accidentals, fingers just getting stuck, you name it it happens. Since I have no reason to practise it, I don't regularly "do sightreading" but if I did on one of those days, I am pretty sure my sightreading would be affected in the same way along with my piano playing.

Dear Anacrusis,
I just meant that in spite of their big differences, different mechanisms of action, effects etc etc, both benzodiazepines and antidepressants fall under the broad category of "psychotropic drugs" aimed at modifying mood, nervous responses and so on and that everywhere in the world (to a larger or lesser extent) there is over-prescription of them even in cases where these other drug-free approaches (herbalism, yoga, psychological therapy), would perhaps do the trick.
Ray Nimmo (http://www.benzo.org.uk/bbcln1.htm), for one, is engaged in a battle against the over prescription of benzodiazepines in GB (and maybe antidepressants, I am almost sure) and a few legal actions have bene taken - and won - in cases of doctors who only too freely prescribe the 'happy pills'.
I'm sure your approach to prescription is sensible but I'm sure there are many doctors who tend to prescribe them at the slightest signs of insomnia/depression/irritability and so on and who do not make the patient aware of what long-term uninterrupted use of these drugs may mean.
Let us not continue with this hair-splitting and ... shall we go back to the sight-reading topic?

thanks Morceau for enlightening me re the points. I'm having trouble with finding my bit of paper that the examiner wrote on in 2009 that breaks down my points for g2. So that's a great help, and my old chum the Foxy Lady said something similar too.

thanks Morceau for enlightening me re the points. I'm having trouble with finding my bit of paper that the examiner wrote on in 2009 that breaks down my points for g2. So that's a great help, and my old chum the Foxy Lady said something similar too.

I've found out that I am quite good at reading a piece of two stave piano music and either tapping my rh on my right thigh and lh on my left thigh for the rhythms. Or even doing foot tapping on the floor. Which now raises the problem of my nerves, like a house that hasn't been rewired for 50 years, the messages from my brain cannot reach my hands in time and I play the wrong notes. Paul Harris g2 stage 1 ex.9 pn page 5was an intense struggle to play the right notes and get the intervals correct. Only the Holy Mother of God got me through that one without emotional scarring and She will see me through my two 'Dirges of Despair' later on.

I was on citalopram a few years ago and did find they made me very woolly headed but that was my individual reaction to them and eventually I was taken off them by my GP as the side effects were outweighing the benefits. I've also been on beta blockers for anxiety and found that my reaction times can be much slower which does cause problems when I'm playing.

In my case, I've had to learn to compensate for the effects of my medication. I know my reaction times will be slower so I have to give myself extra time. That wasn't possible for my last exam, so I had to come up with additional strategies with the help of my teacher. When I told my teacher I found sightreading really difficult, their reply was "Of course you will, you've never seen it before". My teacher taught me to break it down into a mental checklist, focusing on hearing the note before playing it, counting and most importantly, playing when I am ready to start - all of which give me that little bit of extra time I needed to register it.

But also, sightreading (and aural which is my big bug bear) are skills which can be learnt and the more you do, the more you start filing them away in your memory. It's just sometimes when it appears too difficult, we need to find a way to break it down into smaller, manageable steps.

Best wishes.

*gives up*

Oh dear.

I myself find it extremely useful to have your dispassionate and knowledgeable medical perspective.

agreed. As a reader on this forum, I decide for myself who to listen to.

As for the topic:

Dear OP,

sight reading is the hardest thing I have ever done - and I've done quite a lot of things, some of them widely acknowledged as being really hard indeed. For ages I thought I must have had some hidden disability, maybe I had a hidden brain defect or even maybe brain tumour? (!!)
Indeed for years the music simply would not stand still in the page, it was like the ribbon of music would lift off the page and twirl about.

So I can easily understand why you think medication is to blame. And maybe it does make it harder, but maybe that's not the problem at all.

Sight reading poses a huge challenge for me. My piano teacher recommended imminent public embarrassment in the form of accompanying people and playing duets in public!!! As that would force me to miraculously figure it out - as it did for him and everyone else he knew. Needless to say, this ended in tears and my refusal to duet much less sight read after the next pupil had arrived....

-- I am used to finding things quite easy after due effort. But what constitutes due effort for this task? Daily practice, sure, but what am I practising? There is a real danger all I am practising is panicked incompetence.

So: after a lengthy process, there are several things I can see are the problem. (Medically knowledgable people please comment, as this is my own observations put together with my scientific reading...and I'm not an expert!!)

One is the eye saccades all over the place in order to build up a composite picture of what is being viewed, as the eye focusses on only a narrow field of view at a time. You don't notice it, normally, but reading more than one stave means all this saccading has to be co-ordinated to a much higher degree than reading a single line of text or scanning the road ahead along which you are driving etc etc. Further, it has to be co-ordinated with your ability to understand and process the music being viewed at the speed of the music. One of the best things about the "learn to sight read books" is the graded nature of the material and the explanations of the music notation on offer.

AFAICT the reason the music seemed to move was that I was panicking and the saccading was unco-ordinated, so that a single focussed view was not happening. I was putting together in my brain lots of unmatched views that gave the music a distorted look.

Well, one day the music did not move - it seems to me that I had (momentarily) achieved a single focussed view from which I could look ahead and then back again in a coherent organised fashion. This felt miraculous and totally wonderful. My piano teacher was shocked (hurray!!)

This experience confirmed my theory that my No. 1 problem was achieving a single focussed view that had a wide enough field of focus to encompass two staves and enough breadth to look ahead sufficiently. It's vital to sight read stuff at the appropriate level for me to practice this kind of focus. And, it's vital to develop a sense of what has priority at speed.... what can be let go (some notes) and what can't (rhythm, some phrasing). My aim to to get to the point where I can accompany someone and think, "that wasn't too bad"

I wish you well

loops