Does anyone else have a real issue fitting everything into the day. Even though you don't really have a lot to do?

I often feel so 'depressed' (not sure as it's that bad but still...) that I don't want to get out of bed in the morning because of worrying about things I've got to do. This sounds ridiculous but I'm often in a really bad mood until I've got my music stuff done (piano practise mainly).

Today I've felt terrible until I started practising, now I feel much better but I know that I can't say to people that I can't get on with life until I've played the piano!

I've tried 'To Do' lists but just end up not being able to stick to them and know that I've got to get other stuff than piano practise done in a day. I'm OK with appointments e.g. when a pupil is coming to the house or if I'm going into school and am not late for appointments but I'm terrible at getting other 'tasks' done.

HELLLLLP!

I don't know if this is the answer you're looking for but I got over that by stopping caring about some things. If my washing lies unfolded for a few more days, nobody dies. Aside from the day job, priorities go to seeing the other half, playing the piano, and taking care of anything that will actually affect me negatively if I don't do it (taxes, bills, cooking food instead of eating rubbish). I make sure that the house is hygenic (so the kitchen always gets cleaned every weekend) and that I have clean clothes but if I am busy, I allow myself to relax rather than get wound up trying to do everything.

I try to do one "other thing" a week - where "other things" include weeding the garden, taking stuff to the charity shop, tidying up one room in the house. I usually succeed most weeks but don't give myself a hard time if I don't.

If I die tomorrow I would rather know that I've spent time with friends and loved ones, and doing things that i care about, rather than having a cupboard full of immaculately folded sheets.

This is not an uncommon problem! That's the first point to make. People often think it's just them, but many people have these sorts of challenges.

I think some of it is modern life where we are always in a rush and have to be occupied - we're very poor at giving oursleves "me time" - and I am extremely guilty of this

Because of this, we end up with a big list of things that we think we "have to do". Being northern Europeans, we also beat ourselves up over this.

To paraphrase Tolkein, the task never started is the one that is never finished.

Decide on a SMALL list of things you want to do and pick them off in bite sized chunks - which may mean saying "I will do 30 minutes on X today and I will stop at that point, regardless of where I am up to with it' This stops tasks becoming mountains that you can't face.

As my default is somewhere close to 'bone idle' I don't get things done as efficiently as I could. The only thing that I try to manage better is practice... I'm still working on improving there.

Good for you!

There is a great post on the Bulletproof Musician blog advocating laziness as a tool for more effective practice.

More seriously, I wish I could somehow internalise corenfa's approach. Eminently wise.

It's very true that "good time management" as a value is a modern, "western" thing At least, interpreted as getting a lot of things done on time. And very enslaving.

So don't let it get you down, P*P!

I'm very impressed by the value of practice for you. In my case, it's often one of the things that doesn't get done, or not properly. Often it does make me feel better but not always. Not when I just can't manage to overcome a hurdle or feel I'm making progress. I do forget sometimes to "enjoy the journey". It's that silly western/modern thing again of feeling that you have to "achieve" something in order to merit your place on this earth... Utter rubbish, of course.

There are a lot of people out there trying to make cash from making others feel guilty, and one such set of folks is the Time Management Guru set. Under the guise of saving time and effort, more and more machines are invented to take loads off us, then what actually happens is that we're put under pressure to spend the same time on whatever chore they tell us will be less onerous, making our houses look more sparkly, our bodies more groomed, our clothing less crumpled, etc etc etc.

We now have washing machines, but do far more washing than was usual in the past - okay, I'd not want to go back to handwashing...but we also have vacuum cleaners, and feel we ought to vacuum once a day, or twice a day, or twice a week, and feel bad if we've not done so for a week...or two weeks, or whatever. Same with personal grooming - women used to be able to leave body hair alone, now even men are ripping it out in the interests of Body Beautiful.

I have spells of time when my house would make the House Beautiful set's collective upper lip curl - and I don't care, it's my house, they can lump it. At least my kids won't have oversensitive immune systems cos they've encountered Dirt, and they won't end up totally freaked out over something being a bit untidy, when actually, what does it really really matter?

Okay, so I'm a bit chaotic about my admin too - but I do the stuff which matters, that I don't let go (at least, not unless depressed, but that's another story). I don't write lists, because I found I was attending more to the creation and management of the list than actually doing anything about it, but I do set an alarm on my Thunderbird calendar on the computer, to jog my memory about the things which have deadlines. And the rest fits in, as best as it can. My kids have grown up knowing that perfection is a bit of a theoretical concept, but also comfortable with the idea that it is okay to fall short of (usually other peoples') standards now and again, and that it doesn't make the world stop to do so .

This is so spot-on!

Two things I've heard stuck in my mind - out of the zillions of others that went in and out: (1) It's never going to get any better, and (2) Decide what you can reasonable manage and 'postpone' the rest

The first might sound pessimistic but isn't. It stops you thinking that next tomorrow or next week it might get easier - or you might get more efficient, or there might be eight days in the week.

The second means you magically solve your problem and reduce tasks to what you can manage. If you can't do it all, there's no point trying. Don't set yourself up to fail.

I make a list with everything on, and asterisk things that really have to be done - using single, double and triple asterisks when things are dire. And attach a time/date when they're critical. It's also such a boost to cross things off a list.

Exactly. Though I have no kids to have oversensitive immune systems.

Several people have commented that my house is messy, and I have told them that I would rather play the piano than do housework (subject to aforementioned statement about hygiene).

I know exactly how the OP feels at times. Including the "depressed" bit.

At different times I try different strategies: sometimes I think about the TV series "Bread" where Billy was told to "begin somewhere, anywhere" and just do something. Other times I try to attack a particular box, or corner that is extra untidy. And I've started having lists lately, because I feel frayed at the edges, and need to prioritise to get through the next few weeks without forgetting something really important.

I agree with posters who say that a bit of untidiness/pile of unfolded washing is not the end of the world, and I console myself with the thought that if I tried to get everything to an impeccable state I'd have a nervous breakdown.