I started flute lessons Jan 04. Teacher really lovely & non scary, suggests in the autumn that I might like to do an exam so do grade 5 in March 05 . The lesson immediately after the exam I'm given a list of pieces to start working on - it so happens these pieces are from the grade 7 lists. 3 weeks later she says I should be put in for the exam & me being the sort of person who agrees & goes along with things, ends up being entered for the exam in June ( while thinking there's no way I can possibly be ready for this, why am I doing this?.)
13 weeks after taking grade 5, having worked incredibly hard, I take the exam & get a reasonable enough pass (116).
With hindsight it was a pretty stupid thing to have agreed to. I find it very difficult to be assertive & to challenge someone who "knows better than me". I'm cross with myself for not being able to stand up for myself. It was a massive amount of work to try & fit it into such a few weeks - the jump in scale requirements alone was huge.
But, what do I do now? I got the comment sheet this week & although I'm not having a lesson til Sept I wanted to discuss comments with the teacher - my feeling being that there's no point in doing an exam if I'm not going to try & learn from the experience, but was dismissed with the remark, "Well you've passed so what does it matter." To me it matters very much, & how well I can play & how good my technique, tone, articulation etc are way more important than doing an exam. But if the teacher is so exam orientated (& I get the feeling is satisfied with aiming for a pass), what do I say in sept - I don't want to do another exam until I feel I can play musically & competently (could be a long time then). And what when she doesn't listen to me & gives me a grade 8 piece to work on?
Any advice on what to do?

Tell her! If she's a good teacher it really shouldn't matter to her whether you do exams or not, in fact6 it should bother her more that you don't feel ready for the exam!
I think it's such a shame when teachers seem "exam-crazed"...

I have but I don't think she really listens.

Andy, you have done extremely well on the flute passing grade 7 in 18 months. Your teacher must think you have potential and are capable or she wouldn't even consider 'fast tracking ' you like this. However, if you don't feel confident rushing through grades or want to do something else for a while, don't be afraid to tell her. If she gives you a list of grade 8 pieces, practice them but don't let her enter you for the exam until you feel you are ready. Its your exam and you want to do as well as possible so you need to talk to her and if she won't listen, then maybe its time for a more understanding teacher.





This is the bit that concerns me the most. It sounds as if your teacher is young, inexperienced and not used to working with adult students. Being dismissive really isn't a good attitude. She should be prepared to disuss your report. Sounds like your teacher has different expectations to you from exams. She seems happy with a pass but you want more which I have no doubt you can achieve considering how far you have got in 18 months. When it comes to the higher grades, three months can be the diffence between pass and distinction. Exams aren't everything and many of my adult students choose not to do them regularly if at all, but as long as they work and make progress, thats fine with me. It sounds as if she is exam mad and perhaps doesn't know enough repertiore outside the exam syllabus. Is flute her main instrument?

I think it's very important to talk to your teacher about this. I know you've said you've tried, but this is obviously a stress for you, and playing the flute should be fun!!!!!

You've done amazingly well so far. You're obviously capable of high things, so aim for that merit or distinction for your grade 8. Don't let her push you into things. Surely you have to give her the money for the exam for her to enter you? So don't write that cheque!!!!!

It may be worth simply saying you don't want to to another exam for a while - even if you play some grade 8 music - and also take along pieces that YOU want to play that are at a level you feel most comfortable playing.

Andy - I just wouldn't put up with this from a teacher for one minute!! One thing I've discovered more than anything whilst learning an instrument as an adult is that the process has to be a partnership between you and the teacher, where you discuss your goals and come to a mutual agreement/compromise - I take this attitude even when it comes to choosing pieces. I rely on my teacher's vast knowledge of music and piano and her innate musicality and she relies on me to steer the lessons in the direction I want to take them. It hasn't always been thus - I was in despair earlier in the year, not for the same reason as you, but because I enjoy learning in a structured way, and she was totally disorganised, even not being there when I called for a lesson, because she'd forgotten to tell me she would be on holiday ! Still, I've managed to take charge of the situation and we've settled into a pattern which seems to suit us both (for the moment ).

So, all in all, I would definitely explain what you want to do next and if she can't/doesn't want to understand I'd look for someone with greater empathy. Having said that, you do seem particularly talented and may be able to achieve what she wants, but it's no good if you're always wondering whether you could do things in a better & more rewarding way.

Jen

I would agree with others that your teacher does not seem to be on your wavelength. It doesn't mean that she can't be - but certainly does not seem to be at the moment. It may just be matter of communication, or it may be symptom of a more basic problem.

Whatever I think of my exam results, I use the comments to go through with a student to find areas where we can improve. Note I said we! The comments are generally a useful bit of feedback (whether one thinks they reflect the mark or not!)

It may be that your teacher simply had not realised that you want to go through the comments sheet. But if she won't listen, that's another thing altogether. Tell her you had doubts about doing the gr7 but went along with it - but need to consolidate a bit and definitely do not want to prepare for another exam yet. One line of attack might be to pick a couple of comments that YOU would like to discuss from your exam sheet and ask her opinion of them. Why do you think the examiner said that? how could I do that better? what ways would you recommend for me to practise that point? etc etc. Pin her down!

If she gives you a grade 8 piece in September I think you'd be quite justified in asking for something else, and if necessary digging your heels in and refusing to learn the piece! Sounds a bit drastic I know, and I'm sure it wouldn't be easy, but let's hope with some communication it doesn't come to that.

Btw don't be dissatisfied with your mark - it's a good one and you have done amazingly well in short time. But I wish you well in getting what you want out of your lessons. After all, who's paying whom ?

Andy

First of all, really well done for passing your Grade 7 in such a short time. That's a brilliant achievement (says the proud owner of a scrape pass at grades 3 & 4 - 25 years ago ).

JenW is exactly right when she says that being an adult learner is a partnership with your teacher, rather than just following your teacher's instructions. You are fully entitled to push back if your teacher says something you don't agree with.

I'd suggest calling her, and inviting her for a cuppa/a swift half in the local, where you can use the mark form as an opening to discuss the whole way the two of you work together and what your (not her) objectives are now. By doing it informally like this, and away from the teaching room environment, you establish that you are meeting as equals, rather than expert and learner.

Hopefully, if she's a sane adult, she'll realise that there has to be a bit of a change in the way of going about teaching you, and she may well appreciate your taking the initiative to sort it out.

Good luck

Cheers

Katyjay

Many thanks for all your replies, it's really useful to know what other people think.
Some of the points that came up:

Yes, exactly the case. I know she can play well but I don't actually know that at higher levels how good the teaching of technique is. I suppose I've started to question that in the last few weeks.

I think i've been regarded as a large child rather than as an adult. With hindsight much of the last 6 months she has concentrated on exam stuff - though that hasn't stopped me from going & getting a large selection of other music & working on it. It's just that in lessons she hasn't been interested in helping me work on alternative pieces. I also realised very recently that even within the exam syllabus she doesn't have a very wide knowledge. At flute group the other week I happened to be playing another piece from the grade 7 list that I had decided I wanted to learn & she hadn't heard it before.

I will say it in the nicest way possible - I think she'll just sidestep the issue. As far as pieces at a level that I feel comfortable with - at the moment I don't have any confidence in playing anything so that's a problem
If this doesn't resolve satisfactorily the big problem is that the flute group I go to is very small & she goes to it, - me trying to change teachers could be difficult. Flute teachers are few & far between round here & I've probably had the attitude up to now that anything is better than nothing.

I'm just in the process of PMing, you Andy! But my initial thought on seeing this was that there are loads of really lovely pieces even down to grade 4 and 5 level which you would probably be able to play easily, and can learn to play extremely well, and then work up from there (even if you don't do those pieces in your lessons)... That's what I have been known to do on days (or even weeks... ) when nothing seems to be going right with my harder pieces. In a way playing a lower level piece confidently and well (and being able to learn it in a relatively short time) will do more for your confidence and also your playing and musicality than harder stuff - because you don't have to spend so much of your attention on what your fingers are doing and can make the best sound possible - and work on the things in your exam report, too. It doesn't mean that you have to suddenly stop playing the grade 6,7,8 stuff either. Different bits of the repertoire will just help you in different ways.

Anyway expect a PM sometime soon I really think that even if it's a case of saying to your teacher that you'd rather not do grade 8 for some time, please, that it would be worth your doing. You don't need the stress of exams so quickly following on from one another

i think doing up to grade 7 in 18 month is fantastic, n i think your teaacher think that you are very potential...
just practice the piece for gr 8 but dont enter the exam until you are very confidence for that. say to your teacher that you want to play with very good skill, confidence, etc etc n want to get very good mark, ex: distinction. may be she will understand...