I thought it was funny!! Apologies for any grammar that I missed when correcting it...

*************

A couple go on vacation to a fishing resort. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn, the wife likes to read. One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.

She motors a short distance, anchor and continues to read her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "good morning Ma'am. what are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")

"You're in a restricted fishing area", he informs her.

"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading" she said.

"Yes, but you have all the equipment " the Warden insisted, "and for all I know you could start fishing at any moment, I'll have to take you in and write it up', he said

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,"says the woman.

"But I haven't touched you", says the Game Warden.

"That's true," said the woman, "but you have all the equipment and for all I know you could start at any moment".

"Have a nice day Ma'am", said the Warden, and left.

************

MORAL : Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can think too.

Like it

heehee!

Car Expert

i am going to tell that to the rest of my form tomorrow

Lol! I have a few friends who would love that!

Glad you guys enjoyed it

Hahahaha! Nice one sarah

Very good!

Wonderful !

Very Good!!!
I like this one.

I always think of the answers 2 hours too late. Your story reminds me of an incident my little brother told me about (he's much more quick witted than me!).

He was stood for ages in a long slow moving queue to get into a nightclub in Chester. After all that queueing as they got near the front they could hear these enormous bouncers turning lads away and telling them they couldn't go in unless they were with a girl . A couple of minutes later he was at the front of the queue and was told he couldn't go in because he didn't have a girl with him. To which he replied, "but that's not fair, I'm gay " (he's actually about as gay as Mick Jagger). The bouncer paused to think, and said, "well if you're gay, where's you're boyfriend" to which my brother grabbed his mate Johnny, looking like a startled rabbit , and marched on into the club. At that point the whole line of lads started calling out "HEY! I'M GAY". The bouncer turned round, by which time little brother and his mate were well on their way to the bar.

To me I would have seen those bouncers as a totally impenetrable barrier. There was absolutely no logic whatever to my brother's argument yet he says basically two words and its "open sesame". Now I know why when he was 4 and I was 8 he used to beat me in arguments! He now has a job in the foreign office.

Is he going to grow to be the FO version of a Mandarin such as Sir Humphrey Appelby? priceless,.... such a thing would never have occurred to me, either.

I'm kind of banking on more of an "Uncle Clam" from the musical "Salad Days".

Then when the children are ready to fly the nest we can sing "Go and see Uncle Clam, dear! find yourself something to do!".

LOL

Reminds me of an incident in Northern Ireland at the height of the conflict.

A man pulls up at a road block and the army office starts to ask him questions, the bloke answers him and starts to us sign language basically saying I am deaf can you speak slow so I can lip read. The army officer waves the man through without any further delay.The next car behind pulls up and the officer starts to ask questions again. The driver seeing what happened previously starts to point at his ears as if to say I am deaf.

The officier proceeds to secure his rifle and pulls his sleeves up and starts to sign. The man in the car blushes and say I am sorry but I am not really deaf......

His car is searched from bonet to boot and takes 90 mins. As the man drives away he ask if its standard practice to have a signing officer to which he gets the reply.

"Who says I sign I just knew you didnt"

Man drives away into the sunset with laughter in his ears.

nice to hear of a bit of humour in amongst all that tension!

Funiest thing is that he only knew because the man had his radio on

Reminds me of when I worked on the PO counter many moons ago (I was the one that smiled!! ) We had a pensioner used to come in each week for his pension carrying a white stick and wearing dark glasses. Each week we had to segregate his notes into separate compartments in his wallet, and put his lose change, coin by coin, in his hand as he carefully put the silver in one pocket and the bronze in the other. He would thank us and very carefully make his may to the door with his stick in front of him.

Then one day, as he was just leaving, we saw him stretch his arm, to reveal his watch from under his sleeve, which he just glanced at, and then hurried away.

I think he just craved the extra attention!

Classics all of them!

Awww!

My friend just emailed me this one:

President Bush was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the
classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and
their meanings.
The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the discussion
on the word "tragedy".So the illustrious leader asked the class for an
example of a "tragedy".
One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a
farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him,
that would be a tragedy". " No," said Bush, "that would be an accident."
A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children
drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explained the president. "That's what we would call a
great loss."
The room went silent. No other children volunteered.
Bush searched the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an
example of a tragedy?"
Finally at the back of the room a small boy raised his hand. In a quiet
voice he said: "If Air Force One carrying you and Mrs Bush was struck by
a friendly fire missile and blown to smithereens, that would be
tragedy."
"Fantastic!" exclaimed Bush. "That's right. And can you tell me why that
would be a tragedy?"
"Well," said the boy, "It has to be a tragedy,because it certainly
wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident
either".

lol jane xxx!

I'm off to share these with my family...

That one's brilliant Jane...

Car Expert

LOL!!!

Oh...these are SO FUNNY!!

good jokes!!!!