I'm so angry and upset I can barely scream. I had an argument on my recent trip, and it was pretty bad... I'd put it out of my mind but I've just been reminded grr. I'm most annoyed about how I lost it completely and put myself at fault. I've never done anything like that before, I actually hit someone.
Basically I was on a trip with a buddy group of five, all friends of mine, except one, a boy who I will call S, who seems to hate me. The first day of the trip, S made a snide, patronising remark, and I was going to try and make a joke about it, so I opened my mouth... then a friend, L, turned around to me and shouted at me for being argumentative
I think she did it because she knew another friend and I had just had a row about him calling me argumentative and she knew I was sensitive about it...
From then on S was mean and condescending constantly, because he knew everyone would stick up for him... and then when we went shopping in a little German town for an hour, he got a foot long sub from subway, and I wanted to go in a music shop - he had a temper tantrum at the thought of being left outside, and me and another friend (Sarah, because it's a common enough name, and I can't have two S's) were annoyed that the only shop we could go in was Subway - which you get in our own town!
We were just talking about it, and L burst into tears, glared at me and said everyone hated her. Suddenly everyone was mad at me - I felt terrible, I hadn't shouted or been mean to her, and I couldn't think how I'd upset her, just by complaining to Sarah. Later, however, I had reason to doubt her sincerity, and not just because there were no tears on her face and her mascara hadn't smudged when she looked up from S's shirt.
Then the next day we were at the reichstag (German houses of parliament, very big high building...) and we went to the roof, really high up and were laughing and running around and shouting (including L).
Then we left and went to the TV tower, another very tall building. and despite her being fine at the reichstag, when we suggested going up to the revolving restaurant (we were already at the second to top floor, the restaurant was the top!) L said she was afraid of heights, but that we could go... so we did, and then when we got down she said we'd missed a panic attack (yeah right, in ten minutes?) and got at us for ditching her, and stopped talking to me and Sarah. I sincerely have great sympathy for those with true phobias, but how can you be fine at the edge of one high building, then terrified in the middle of another?
Anyway, the next day, we went shopping again, and me and Sarah wanted to shop properly and L didn't, so she manipulated the other boy in our group into going out of the centre of town to mcdonalds, so we all had to go... then she suggested we didn't do much shopping, because she wasn't in the mood. Needless to say, S agreed... but me and Sarah did want to go shopping.
Rather than S saying "I don't want to shop much either" he basically tried to give me and Sarah PERMISSION to go to one H&M shop before we sat down and didn't do any more shopping (for three hours...) I suggested (I know, not mature... but...) that our buddy group split up, that Sarah and I went shopping, and they went and had a coffee. In fact L had suggested this to me earlier.
Despite the fact that it was her suggestion, when I brought it up, L went mad, calling me selfish and egotistical. After everything she'd done, she was calling me selfish... and I went mad I started saying mean things, which, though I still think them, I feel incredibly ashamed of actually saying. I said: "L what I think is selfish is pulling pathic guilt trips and manipulation to get your own way like you have been doing for the whole trip! You have had absolutely everything you want just by making people feel sorry for you and it's absolutely disgusting, Sarah, I'm going, you don't have to come if you don't want to."
Sarah said she did want to, but that she didn't want to leave it unresolved with everyone angry, and suddenly S piped up. S is the most patronising person I know and he said "Go on, just go, we don't want you here."
I looked at Sarah, and as she was opening her mouth to talk, S said "see you're obviously not going anywhere, you're just pathetically bluffing. Stop being selfish, we don't want to shop, so stop being so immature, we're going to find a cafÃ©".
And I hit him. Three times actually... I can't believe I actually hit someone, I've never hit anyone before... I mean I do hit like a girl (I am a girl!) but that's no excuse... He just made me so angry and upset.
Then I stormed out, because I was crying, and I didn't want anyone to see me since I'd just accused L of using tears for manipulation... I would've been such a hypocrite if I'd stayed, though I didn't pretend to cry, I was truly upset. Sarah followed me and we went shopping, though a little half-heartedly, until we got scared of the trouble we'd be in, and told the teachers that I'd stormed off by myself (they understood and said we'd be fine anyway...)
Now everyone hates me, and since I've said all the nasty things I did and said (hitting someone, and saying mean things) I bet everyone on here will hate me too.
Actually though, that's such a long rant, people probably won't read it. I'm just so angry with myself for putting myself in the wrong, and angry with them for being so mean, and upset and just horrible.
Rant over, sorry, I've probably taken up the rest of the page.