It really is one of those crawl under the desk and curl up in a ball days.
I thought I selpt badly on Sunday and Monday nights, but last night I slept dreadfully. From midnight onwards I woke up several times if not actually having a panic attack, at least in a state of high anxiety. Which has yet to go away.
Work is just...aaarrrgggh! I know why, my manager knows why, though I doubt he realises that it's become such a problem (to be fair, I've not really realised it until today - and today is most likely only so bad because I'm so tired. I know tired->stress->poor sleep->more tired->and so on)
Essentially I'm doing a 100% of your time job alongside, well, at the moment it's not that bad but last week it was certainly a 100% of your time job. Amazingly enough, I'm only prepared to do 7.5 hours a day, so stuff doesn't get done.
Right now I'm trying so hard to get people to understand something that is blatantly obvious. We have three paper documents that needs to be typeset in to multiple languages. Most versions in most languages are fine. There are two though that I've been provided in pdf format. The first thing to do is import the source doc in to the software - and it won't take these two particular pdfs, because they are in wonky weirdy script languages.
Basically, if the source doc was a Word version, it would be fine.
The 'owner' of the document keeps coming back to me saying 'we have a pdf copy' and I keep saying 'I need a Word copy' and they reply 'But the last study has a pdf copy you could use' and I reply 'which won't import in to our software, we need a Word copy' and they provide me with a different pdf version to try. The last study would have to have sent it out to the translation company, but now we can do it in house - provided we have a usable source document!
Of course, which two countries have urgent need for their regulatory people to see the forms? That's right, these two where they can only give me pdf versions. So, can't they provide me the source version they must already have from the previous use - actually, probably yes, but apparently it's more fun to just drive me round the bend telling me the same thing when I can't see how I can make it clearer that what they are provided is not acceptable if they want it by tomorrow. I have to sent it out to translation, and that will cost them money and take at least a week - just as it did in the previous set-up.
The other work I'm doing is not complicated, but it is something where a report isn't behaving as expected. It may be simple to fix, it may be unfixable. But I need a day poking round the reporting database having an explore and a play and seeing what's what. And I don't have any time for doing that sort of thing.
And all the other stuff is 'far off' because it's due in June, but nobody seems to be able to count backwards from June to see how soon that actually is and we need to get on with it now, oh, and guess who's needed to do the first task?
And this afternoon I have to give training. Stupid, stupid, stupid at least two years out of date training, but nobody is going to bother to update the slides because new processes are due sometime in 2013. I was one of four trainers but the others have all moved on so I am now the only one left, having to give this stupid training every six weeks.
At least it is over the phone...except the landlines in this house are cordless. And the batteries give up after about 45 mins. And the training will be about an hour and a quarter. So part way through, I'm going to have to dial out, change handset, and resume the meeting. That'll be good. I guess I need to buy a cheap phone that doesn't rely on batteries for future use (except hopefully soon the stupid training will go away and I won't have to do it anymore, and/or we'll start using the audio function on conferencing software, which we keep 'planning to use in future' but it doesn't happen).
In the meantime, I can't believe it's only half past ten. I'll just carry on sitting here, waiting for the bombardment of emails and messenger things when the US/Canada arrive (and, of course, that is too late to get India doing any work until tomorrow...) Still shaking, breathing is wrong, want to curl up somewhere and sleep but too much to do and no contactable manager to say "I need to stop Right Now before my head blows up"
Edit: Long, but somewhat helpful to get it out of my head