What's up noodle? By the way I can't actually see your emoticons... is that just my computer? All I get is a banner saying "Allemoticons.com". Anyway, I clicked reply to see what they were, and it says "crying3" so I can tell you're upset .

I've got the same, just the banner. I hope your cat gets better soon

Oh no is your cat still ill? I hope he gets better soon. (No I couldn't see Jod's either....)

Oh noodle, I know how you feel and I am truly sorry.

Just love him and give him the best paliative care you can. When a dear friend of ours recently lost a dog, the dog practically told her, "get the vet I've had enough"

That's all you can do. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Your cat will let you know when it is the right time, at the moment he still wants to be with you.

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I told you that day off would prove a godsend!

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Tickles I was slightly younger than you when I first came a cropper burning the candle at both ends then trying to set light to the middle (metaphorically speaking) I can assure you it doesn't work. I can assure you though I know that now I am still stupid enough to try it, and each time I come unstuck. You were beginning to fall into my trap. So remember stick to your guns over what your limits are and you'll do your best work, and please do what I say and don't follow my example.

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my weeks are always crazy, full of rehearsals, work etc etc etc....

suffering from a cold and now practically deaf, my room is freezing and there's nothing i could do about it (the radiator is on, but it's weak).... can't hear what i play most of the time, which is quite worrying....seeing exam is on wednesday.

I have tendonitis and can't play my violin at all.

I'm in pain and miserable.

Hope you feel better soon.


My 13 year old daughter has just had the brunt of my ARRGGHHH rant.... she has lost a library book i didn't want her to have as she always loses her library book... and it appears it's down to me to find it.

Well... Here comes a rant.... I am fed up of my children (and husband) expecting me to do everything.... 13yo always leaves her clothes on floor in bathroom... 9 year old leaves them on floor in my bedroom. 11 yo leaves them on the floor. Plates are carried out to the dish washer but never seem to get IN the dishwasher. Cups get left everywhere.
We have been away for weekend (I'm tired), we had a nice time, but I have unpacked everything. I put the clothes my 13 yo did not wear on her bed for her to put away. She just put them in the wash bin. The dog had obviously got on her bed while we were away (someone was housesitting) and her bed was muddy... but she couldn't manage to find a clean sheet on her own.
I was trying to here my 9 year old read, and was constantly interrupted by "Mum, mum" by the other 2 and husband (well... he doesn't usually call me mum).

ARRGGHHH.

You know, Clari Nicki, the more you do for your children and husband, the more they will let you do. Only you can alter the situation - make it clear to your children that unless clothes are hung up/put in the wash bin, there will be consequences! What these are is up to you, but be sure that if you continue to pick everything up for them they will happily let you.

If you go over to CISD, somebody will probably make you a nice cup of tea, it sounds like you could do with one

True. Mine happily let me! One thing that has helped (might be a bit radical) has been moving to a smaller house (coincidentally), so we all know there is no part of it from which they cannot hear me yell. If I find the bathroom covered in somebody's clothes I just stand there and yell until said person comes and deals with them.

Nobody ever comes quickly when I want the cats' litter tray emptied though, which is why I came here cos i really did scream. I was trying to hold a black bag open whilst holding my breath and emptying all the cr*p in when I forgot not to breathe. I nearly threw up, spilt litter all over the floor (and the hob, somehow) and my glasses fell off into it. Now, I'm extremely short-sighted, and nobody would even come to help me hoke to fish them out.

I know it's my fault.
I live in a big house and they can easily not here me.
I wrote a mental list in my head last night of what i am not prepared to do.
Unfortunately 2 of my 3 children are very disorganised by nature (one has dyspraxia and it is part of that). My youngest, however, is very organised naturally and she is just copying the other!!!

Cat's litter thing sounds bad Dulciana. Our kitten is just stopping using the litter tray so I know how you feel.

When I calm down I will sit children down and explain some new ground rules and consequences.
I am probably a bit stressed at moment. I have an assignment to do this week... I have a recital in my Dad's memory next saturday night... and the internment of my dad's ashes in the week after. This involves 2 trips to Surrey in about 4 days... but i have to return home to get kids to school!! My dear brother organised this (inconveniently for my life) because my sister is coming home from Canada, so it's convenient for her. It would have been better if the internment was next Monday... then I could have just kept the children off school for one day and have done one trip. (Deborah... don't tell my sister of my rant here!!!!!!)

I ranted at my husband last night so he's in a sulk now!!!!

they are right that you have to make a stand.... but it's not always easy, is it?
Try sitting back and throwing out a few orders, always making sure you don't help...
try: "well, we've got to put those things away, [name of child], see to it please"

I so much sympathise.
Do you find a lot of the time you are invisible and inaudible?



can you hear me?

Umm... I will try that tonight!!!!
I just spoke to my 9 year old on the way to school..... she asked me why I shouted at my 13 year old last night!!!! So I explained I am not here to do everyone's jobs etc and I can't do everything.

My 13 year old last week said she 'judged' me because I am a 'housewife'. Well... until 2 months ago I was doing 2 jobs... and near fulltime one and teaching part-time!!! When my thyroid went beserk, I stopped my "main job"... I took it as my body telling me "Hello..... you're doing to much!!!!" I was still doing nearly everything for the kids at the same time.
My "main job" was running my husband's dental practices... and it was him who said 'You love the teaching.... stop working for the practices". I am still doing the odd bits for the practices, appraisals etc, sorting out the bank accounts etc. Husband is now telling me "Well... you don't work full time.... why is it a problem?"
ARRGGHH. In my extra time, I am actually trying to sort out probate stuff on my Dad's accounts and sort out ###### ups banks have made organising the registering of the power of attourney we have over my mum.

ARRGGHH

It's OK, your secret's safe with me

Unfortunately I won't be able to make it to the recital, but I hope everything goes well. PM me if you want to pop round during the day on Saturday - I think I'm in for part of it.

Maybe you need to speak out and tell them how YOU feel in all this.
You should stop everything, get them all together and simply, as calmly as possible, say how you see it. Tell them that you feel put upon, taken for granted etc etc
Use "I" statements - they shouldn't allow for argument.

Perhaps point out that you would like help with tasks, not clothes dropped everywhere - it's just as easy to drop them in the right place as on the floor... etc.

you clearly have a lot going on and don't need added stress...
good luck - chin up..

You are going through one of one of lifes major stress events, and if your not allowed to let off steam now then when are you. Probate can be a nightmare, then you have all that power of attourney stuff too. Nicki I really feel for you. Then you're trying to do something nice and organise a memorial concert. Nicki, what you're trying to do is as close to living sainthood as it takes and it is obvioulsy taking a toll on you.

Well the concert is the first thing you will know will be over and done with. Takes stock then get that power of attourney sorted out. If him at home is not being helpful you need to find a network of friends around you to whom you can go for cups of tea, coffee or a shoulder to cry on. As Looneytunes pointed out on the forums theres is only so much we can do. I can listen and sympathise, but that is all. I can offer advixe, but as I don't know you from Adam, I don't know whether that advice will be right for you or completely the wrong thing. BTW Looneytunes did give me just the suport I needed when I needed it, but my local network is doing far more.

Just remember that Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars. They way we handle life events and stress is very different. I'm sure your husband loves you. He just might be finding it difficult to see why you feel what you feel.

Jo

Tip for today...


After spending a lot of money on a Nato issue flying jumper, read the wash label before putting it in the washing machine.


Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Ooops...

What a pity you're not talking to me Phil rescuing washing disaters has become a speciality. (made too many of them myself!)

Firstly has it shrunk?

Does it say reshape when wet?

Get jumper stick it a bowl of cold water overnight. Put in washing machine on short spin so you don't drench yourself for the next bit.

Pull the shoulders to the desired fit, gently mind you, you need to gently tease the fabric not rip it to shreds.

Then start on the sleeves. On a woman, yes the three-quarter length sleeve look is fine, but it doesn't quite work on a bloke. Insuring that the seams are straight. stretch the long fibres until they are long enough to get to your wrists

Ditto with the length tease the fibres until they are long enough

then dry flat. get some sort of airer you can jerry rig over the bath and just leave it be.

You may need to repeat this process as it may need another soake and tease out.

I hope this helps.

Jo.

Alternatively pass it onto someone you know it now fits...but I think you still want it for yourself so have a go first. Cost to you nothing but elbow greese. Result happiness, and your beloved jumper back.

Jo

In future put this jumper on a wool wash at 30 with a detergent for delicates.

I maybe useless at every other aspect of house work. However one thing I can do is laundry - with the exception of ironing!

aaaaaaarrrrgggghhhhhh

My wrist is still sore this morning I'm sooooo tempted to slip off the splint and just run through a few scales

Please don't, lottie...I know how tempting it is just to grit your teeth and get on with things but you know yourself that it'll be best in the long run if you don't. You have my sympathies as I know how frustrating it is ! Hope it stops being so painful soon.

Do you want to get better lottie? I know the temptation but for your own good resist.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH

I've just about got used to how to cope with these fits but why was the diazepam in one room and me and the water glass in another. If you had candid camera it would have been hillarious. I've just had to do a huge crawl and drag routine to get the meds in me.

I think I'll stay put for a bit.

I've got a bit of a headache and a dead leg.

*hugs* ARGHHH. Stupid Stupid Stupid Excel!! This is why I want a laptop with Mac on it rather than windows!
Stupid Excel's crashed, taking my pretty scales practice chart with it! *headdesk*

If it did it with my accounts I#d be equally miffed.

Have you tried open office software instead?

Nope. it seems to crash everytime I try to print it! I'll try openoffice. Daniel'll be please when I tell him. He spent the whole bus journey home from school, trying to get me to use Opera, insted of FF and IE.

Try opening your excel file in open office's spread sheet and then print.

I use opera as my web brouser... rather apt for a soprano!

Let me know how it goes.

Hah *giggles*

good I've made you laugh! with certain people around here thinking I'm wallowing in self pity, I though I'd better prove them wrong!

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

SISTERS

Don't even start me on that topic! Just lets say mine is currently estranged.

*hugs*

argh... problems are minor, but i don't cope well with them. tomorrow is last ever high school exam, othello and things fall apart, and i only had yesterday and today to study. now i can feel my throat/chest closing up - just in time for the last holiday before "real" life begins. but what the heck is "real" life - and then what have i been living up to now? everybody says these are the best days of your life, but how is that true because you've blotted out most memories because they are just of boredom? parents argue all the time, father barely knows/cares that i've just been writing exams for seven weeks, don't know my brother, and sister is working all the time. there i go... sorry for whining. my tangible/non-forum/physical friends are either unavailable or busy spewing out their own angst (which i am catching rather heavily), so i'm afraid it's the forum into which my angst must explode/whatever. does anybody there ever look at somebody/at somebody else's writings and just think: i am literally that person but in a different body.? collective consciousness...inherent baseness of the human character...the case for or against god... i just want to sleep for long. sorry. pity you can't do cuts on here. jod's put the right phrase there: i'm just wallowing in self pity. well now i'm actually wallowing in the wallowing in self-pity. every time you close an old wallow a new one opens up.

erm I think I said I wasn't wallowing in self pity. That was a phrase applied to me. I was just describing life as it was actually hitting me!

i know you said you weren't wallowing in self pity. i just removed a word because the opposite probably applies to me.

Benson, you sound tired out - no wonder you're feeling down. I'm so pleased you only have one exam to go; good luck for that. Afterwards, just let yourself go for a week - sleep in lots, play loud music, go for walks or whatever helps you relax. All that angst needs to work itself out before you start thinking about "real life" - and anyway, school days are very much part of real life, and you'll always remember them.

ARGH!
It's that time of year where we're coming up to annual reviews. You have to nominate people to provide feedback on you.
I have been nominated by two people so far.
One is my direct manager.
I have booked myself a room and I am sitting here on my own with 1 hour in order to sit down, write his feedback and get it done and out of the way.

I DON'T HAVE A CLUE WHAT TO WRITE! I really don't know what to say. There are boxes to fill in on different subjects and I really just don't have a clue and I am staring at the form and it's a complete nightmare and for some reason i am sitting here on the verge of tears just trying to think what to say. I have to fill out "strengths" and "development areas", once for 'day to day' working and once looking at specific behaviours.

Hmm, there is an alternative option of doing it over the phone. I can't decide whether that's worse or better, at least I could be asked questions and it'd be a conversation and I wouldn't just be sat here with a stupid blank form; on the other hand it would mean a phone call with my manager's manager and that's really scary.

And if that weren't bad enough, I've got to do it all again for a colleague at some point in the next three weeks...

AAGHH!
I had one of those 'I'll have to pay you weekly this month because I had to pay for dancing exams' parents this month. Ok until this week I get a call the day before the lesson that the child can't come to the lesson because of a school disco afterwards. I rearranged to the next day only to get a call wanting to change the time to an inconvenient time for me (tea time). Offered a compromise but was asked if he could just miss.
Parent a bit taken aback when I said ok but the lesson would have to be paid for. (I have T&Cs which she has signed agreement to).
This is not the first time and the child only started at the end of July!
Is now going to have make up lesson during next week.

I had one of those about a month ago. They're really hard, especially if the person in question is a friend... Hope you managed okay



if she signed the T+Cs then she hasn't got a leg to stand on!

My mother came into school to see my tutor about loads of stuff I've managed to keep a secret for several years and I've been getting three hours sleep a night. But I still very nice to every else despite just wanting to sit and cry all the time and getting to the stage where I'm so tired that my eyes go out of focus several times a day!

Lots of hugs - I remember keeping something incredibly important from my parents for years and years - I think teachers noticed, but they never said anything - then my parents found out on their own... it was awful. It will get better though.

Now, however, I may have to hide something else that's very important..

I know your secret - it's that strange microbe for your would-be-doctor friend, isn't it?!!

Haha I told them about that! My mum was very disconcerted... My dad thought it was fantastic and hilarious...

hope all these secret things work themselves out
not easy living with secrets you are trying to hold on to....