oh Sue ! so sorry. What a confounded nuisance.

Thanks. Trouble is we could end up getting our premium loaded, so I think we may just have to take the hit. I'm sooo annoyed, and it will take ages to re-do all the work that was on there (and not backed up, groan). All my lesson records for this term have gone west. Sigh. Thankfully have done most of my shopping on the internet already, so no particular panic there. Why can't people just take the money and leave the personal stuff? Horrible little scrotes...

That's horrid poor Sue...

Aaaargh. School yesterday was a nightmare.

Sue, but I guess you must have left your back door unlocked or something. This happened to my sister and hubby a while ago. Two sets of keys went from kitchen surface. And her car was stolen.
Then ridiculously the perpetrator came back next night and stole her husbands car ! Both the cars were recovered but one had been crashed into a lamppost. The police knew it was a 16 yr old kid with an obsession with cars who had done it many times, but they couldnt actually pin any one job on him. As far as we know he is still doing it !

Leave a dummy set of keys on the worktop/by the window with a well hidden wire to the live of the mains connected to them (or more safely, an electric fence power unit) That'll teach the little **** a lesson!

My sympathies - same thing happened to me last year on a steamy hot night when we left the back door ajar, thinking that the (large) back gate was bolted. One of us had been to the dustbin and forgotten to bolt the gate so -wallop! there went the bag.

Real pain about all your work stuff - other things can be replaced.

You really do have my sympathy. That kind of thing is a nightmare to sort out. I do hope you getyour personal things back.

Makes my scream seem a bit feeble. The electrical socket circuit at school blew yesterday in the middle of a piano lesson. No piano, no photocopier, no computer, no fridge, no kettle -so no coffee and oh boy did I need it.

On the plus side my Thursday pupils are now well ahead with their theory. Thank goodness for the Lina Ng theory book!

I wasted an hour scratching my head wondering why something wasn't working today until I finally realised that the thingy I downloaded from the vendor's website was broken

Never assume someone else has done a proper job of something.

Mum in law back in hospital just before Christmas (same thing happened last year Fairly rubbishy piano lesson where I couldn't seem to co-ordinate my hands (am hoping it's due to being deaf in one ear from a nasty cold I've had and not the fact that I've just got worse )

Was emptying dishwasher and a sharp knife , (point down) was stuck in the plastic lattice of the cutlery holder. When I pulled it out sharply, the point caught the fleshy part at the base of my left thumb which was holding the 'basket'. Owwwwwwwwwww. Anyway its stopped bleeding and I have a plaster on it but it's rather sore. Probably inhibit my organ grinding tomorrow.

Sounds painful! With luck it will settle down overnight and not object too much to coming into contact with the manuals tomorrow. Fingers crossed anyway.

Just lost a couple of hours work

I've been doing English coursework all day. In the past couple of hours wrote 2 or 3 pages of good stuff, only another 4 or 5 pages to go. Without thinking, nipped to the loo. Came back. Computer screen is blank. Dad walked in, saw the unattended computer (left for 2 minutes), and simply pressed the off button on the tower. Didn't even think to save, ask anyone, just switched it off, then walked off.

I asked who had turned it off, then asked if they had saved it. He didn't even say sorry, just "I'm trying to cut down on the electricity used in this house", when he sits with the news switched on when he's not even watching it.

I suppose it's my fault that I didn't save it but I'm so annoyed, he knows how stressed I am about work, and that's over two hours which I could have spent doing something else. Plus all the websites which I had up are gone, so it's going to be another couple of hours before I'm back to where I was. Grrrrr. It's not that big a deal really, and people on here have lost more work on laptops and things (I'm sorry for ranting over this minor thing) but it seems like such a huge deal right now!

I think you definitely have a right to be upset about that. If you've been writing for a while, it may have been auto-saved on word, so you may be able to recover some of it, I should think. You should definitely see if you can get anything back. Likewise, your internet history should be able to get you to the same websites you were using before.

My partner has extremely painful shingles for the second time. The British Post Office has lost two of my letters (vital for banking purposes) the French Post Office has lost another two which were sent by traced mail - would you believe - so my cash flow problem is acute. Yet another kitten has been abandoned in the garden of the empty house next door and I can't possibly accommodate another cat and it's breaking my heart. Impossible to find homes here and no animal sanctuary anywhere near. The gas bottle for heating has just run out and I have hurt my elbow dragging the replacement bottle indoors. I need to get down to solving all these problems and all I want to do is scream!

Poor Aquarelle! Your poor partner - shingles is awful. Life can be a real pig at times. I'm sure you'll feel better when you've started solving the problems.

Poor bobziekins and Aquarelle...

I'd take the kitten if only I wasn't so far away!

Thank you Berkshiremum and Cyrilla for your kind words. The shingles is slightly better and one of my lost letters has at last arrived. We have decided to take the kitten to the vet to be tested for FIV and FELV so that we can make some sort of responsible decision as to what to do with her. Maybe the vet will know someone....

If I could pack her in a box with a little red ribbon and send her to you Cyrilla, I would!!

I am screaming slightly more piano than just now. The kitten is both FIV and FELV free (cost me 55 euros to find out) so I now know she is not a danger to my resident cats. Neither the vet nor the doctor want her but the chemist says she will ask around - she already has four. Another one of my letters appears to have arrived. There is even a tiny bit of blue sky over the Pyrenees!

My cousin who's bunking in my living room for a few days stepped on my Lego Death Star this morning It had taken me ages to finish and I'm not quite sure how to set about repairing it without tearing the whole thing down and start from scratch...

Lego is awesome... I keep resisting the temptation to buy some technic lego or the new programmable one where you can make robots and stuff... I don't need another time-sink!

Take off all the obviously broken bits : that often will give you a much better idea of what to do. Often rebuilding away from the bulk of the model will help.

Not that I play with Lego, of course. No, not me. Never.



















(and if you believe that, you'll believe anything )

No results yet... agh, another week of torture!

Is it possible your teacher will give you a call when they receive your results?

arghhhhhhh

Christmas is still over 3 weeks away (I hope) and I'm already feeling overwhelmed



And the reason for this it that half my family complain about the presents they receive regardless of the circumstances of the person who gave it to them.

It's a no-win situation and I just want to hide under a rock because buying the presents is getting so distressing and time-consuming I thought I had it all organised but I can't afford to buy them the presents I'd like to.

We've also had an unexpected bill so there's not enough money to go round any more and I have no idea where it's going to come from. The rest of the family are all quite wealthy so expect a lot from us and I just get so frustrated. *tears*

I was looking forward to Christmas but now I want it to go away (how selfish is that! )


Sorry, sorry, sorry for complaining

Ah I'll wait until the next lesson. No bother

oh dear - poor you. Doesn't sound as though your family understand the idea of Christmas.

Oh dear, does your family understand your financial situation. I have told my sister and my daughter who are very badly off financial just to get us token gifts. I would hate the thought of any of my family worrying about present buying - it is the thought that counts, not what it costs.

Hope that you manage to get through this time without too much heartache, but for goodness sake, don't even contemplate putting yourself in debt. Instead maybe you should think of making some homemade gifts. I requested some ideas a couple of weeks ago on the forum and everyone was really helpful. You never know your family may actually love them.





Will your teacher not ring you in between the lesson times Sol, she should be able to check on line. My teacher has always rung us as soon as she gets the results. However, when I took my Grade 4 she got me to enter myself on line, that way I could keep checking to see when my results were in.

Good luck, hope you get your results soon. I have just heard that I may not get mine until 18th!!! I was really hoping that they may come earlier but it looks like that isn't going to be the case. I am going mad with not knowing!

Fair enough. Fingers crossed for the next time



Sounds good advice : especially if you can find the time to use your considerable creative skills lottie. Sorry that you're feeling so low.

I know I answered your post about home-made gifts and am going to make some for part of my 'list'. But the one who is bothering me most is my brother's wife.

They're loaded. They have two small children who are quite frankly spoiled little brats. I've bought the kids some crafty things to make photo-frames which didn't cost a lot. But it's what to get the adults that is stressing me so much - my sister-in-law wears around 12 thousand pounds worth of diamonds on a daily basis and she still feels it's okay to complain about what people buy for her. She has been heard to say that flowers, chocolates and toiletries are thoughtless and stingy.

I think I will make the adults a box of truffles. I'm only human.

That's not a very nice thing for her to say...



Home made presents are nice. I really hope they can see that...

I think I have to learn not to care what she thinks - I do my best and I know my brother will love truffles

It just makes me nervous to know people out there are saying unkind things about me. But then again, you can't please all of the people all of the time.. I keep being told to toughen up a bit

Mr willobie has been making presents for family members for the last few years - usually wine, jams and truffles. They are always VERY well received!

W

It sounds as though your S-i-L is beyond tact and doesn't deserve it anyway.

Perhaps you should tell her you've bought a goat for the Third World in her name. You could even name it after her and hope it is a particularly unattractive example of its kind.

I like your style mel2

My screamlette - had to have a load of blood samples taken this afternoon. Can't cope with the weight of a clarinet this evening and have a spectacular bruise forming. I'm so glad I didn't get the samples taken on Friday when I had to drive to the Midlands for concerts over the weekend.

Comedy gold!

Even better... sponsor a manatee and say that the resemblence is striking!

Why does school have to be so stressful?

I don't know whether it is or not. I'm so confused.
Sometimes everyone acts like it's a huge disaster if you don't complete a project on time, and that your whole future is ruined, you're throwing away an amazing opportunity and ought to be ashamed of yourself and buck up your ideas. I've got friends whose lives literally revolve around school and homework. They have no hobbies apart from maybe art coursework, no music, sports, nature, photography, sewing, reading. Just sleep, eat, work. Them and certain teachers make me feel so so so guilty, and stupid, and lazy and worthless, so that I don't want to work, I just want to curl up in a corner and cry.

Then I've got other friends who are fun, chatty, go swimming, sailing, run, play a multitude of instruments, paint, read excessively, spend time with their family, are fun to be around and they make me relax about schoolwork and think "everything's fine! It's not the end of the world if you miss ONE homework". Then I'm on a high for days, I play instruments, I paint, I read, I spend time with family, like visit my grandparents and spend (some would say waste) hours just listening to them tell their story. Then I go back to school, get disapproving looks when I choose to do these things over revising for a mini test, and get so stressed again because I feel like I've wasted time.

It's probably a huge fuss over nothing, but the past few weeks there is so much to think about, it's like a huge load that's constantly pushing me down, following me around. I want to get excited about Christmas, and be excited that my teacher is moving me on to the next grade, but I feel like I can't because I should be focused on getting amazing GCSEs. I've really, really struggled recently, if I start thinking about all the things I have to do and how wrong everything is going, I panic. I had 3 days off last week with a horrible cold, though it was partly trying to sort myself out and maybe get homework done. I did a big fat nothing, I just slept and slept, and feel stupid for that now too because I have to catch up.

URGH, I'm really sorry for moaning and ranting about poor little me because I have so much work, when I'm on this forum mucking about. I'm just so confused, and stressed, and had to let it out somewhere. I think I need to get a diary...

Has/does anyone else get so stressed that they want to hide under a duvet and come out when it's all gone away? But I can't do that, because everything will be waiting for when I come out.

Surviving school is all about getting the balance right, bobziekins. It's a good idea to keep on top of your work, because otherwise you do quickly feel inundated, but you also need some time to do your own thing.

It does sound a little as though you've done a bit too much of your own thing recently. Exams aren't the be-all-and-end-all, but they are quite important. Try allocating your time a bit more evenly, so that you do enough homework to satisfy your teachers - and yourself, because you know you want to make a reasonable showing at GCSE. But make sure you also leave time for your hobbies - they're important too!

What used to work quite well in our household was to devote holiday/weekend mornings to homework (mind you, that does involve getting up - I mean about 3 hours work!) and then the whole day is yours after lunch. The temptation is to put off doing the homework until you've had some fun, but you actually feel much freer once you've shifted some of it!

Whatever you do, don't stay under that duvet for too long, because the work will build up even more! Resolve to do some work each evening until the pile doesn't seem quite as overwhelming. Best of luck!

Come and join us on the PhD thread, Robyn. I think you'd find yourself at home there.

Hope you're feeling happier again soon.

I bought my dad and step-mum a cow one year, I was very careful to give it to my dad to open because I didn't want there to be any risk of misinterpretation Of course my dad then explained it to their son (who was quite young at the time) "We've been bought a cow for Christmas, but it's going to go and live in Afica, we don't need it here as we've already got one" [looks at his wife] I did jump in to say that certainly wasn't what was implied from my end, and any views expressed by my father were his and his only!

I'd say give her a carved carrot - except she's clearly not worth the effort of going to much trouble for! If you're not going to be able to do it right, no matter what you do, then you might as well at least be wrong in a way that doesn't take up too much of your time

bobziekins - "Has/does anyone else get so stressed that they want to hide under a duvet and come out when it's all gone away?" Erm, yes, pretty much all the time If I've got overwhelming amounts of stuff to do, I write it all down as a list of things to do. Then I look at the list, decide which will be quickest or easiest, and do some of them. There is only a finite amount of time, and you can only do what you can do. Don't worry about the stuff you can't get to today, you'll sort it out when you can - whenever that is, it's not today, so no worrying about it today!

Hey Robyn, have you talked to someone about how stressed you're starting to feel? GCSE's shouldn't be too stressful (though I know they can be when the coursework starts building up, and of course, it depends on whether you're doing silly numbers or not). If you're starting to regularly feel panicky about the workload, you need to talk to some of the teachers at school.

Also try making yourself an action plan (Berkshiremum's suggestions for over the holidays are pretty good). I find if I make a list of everything that needs doing, push the panic to one side, and get on with crossing things off it, I start to feel back in control and the panic starts to fade. You'll always feel better for doing things, than hiding under your duvet, however tempting!

The other thing to keep in perspective is that after you've gone to college and Uni, no-one will ever look at them again (so long as you've got mostly A-Cs, which I'm sure you will). What people will look at is your soft skills: And those come from your hobbies and interests.


Lottie, I hope you manage to resolve your present quandries soon. I think in this case you are better of cutting your lossings and not worrying about what said S-i-L thinks. My sister phoned me this year to say that, having just bought a new house, she has no money at all so won't be giving presents. I'm not worried at all. I do wish she was coming home though, instead of determinedly spending Christmas in said new house... which doesn't have a kitchen or cooker yet! I think they're planning a barbecue in the back garden for Christmas dinner...

I think my son would sympathise completely, having just endured an excrutiatingly painful year 12 parents' evening , and I would think that under the duvet would definitely be his place of choice right now What would really, really have helped him, would have been to get into a really good work routine in his GCSE years, and you have the chance to do that now.

Do the homework, and revise for the tests. You can to this without been obsessed by school work, and these things reaffirm what you've learnt in class, and expose gaps that you might need to work on. There's no point procrastinating, because deadlines do exist, and going and doing something else won't make them disappear or push them back. No, of course your future isn't ruined if you don't do one project, or one piece of homework, but all the time you do complete the work, you're improving what you know about a subject, aiming at a better mark and possibly making a difference to what you can or can't do next. When you've done the work, that's the time to treat yourself, but don't take it to excess by ignoring whatever has to be done next. Your teachers are probably frustrated, and worried, because you could do it if you tried, but sometimes choose not to. Turn around and meet whatever it is you don't want to do (homework, whatever) face on and that will make you feel better almost immediately - there's something very positive about getting rid of doing things you aren't keen on by completing them rather than ignoring them. Make a list, and work through it methodically. Don't keep pushing the things you don't want to do to the bottom, because when you've done all the other stuff they'll still be there, and by then you'll have been given more to do. Your very laid back friends may well be panicking come exam time, or they may truly not be bothered, or they may not want to aim as high as you in the first place, but don't go by what others do, go by what you know you should do. Make time for your music, and your painting and especially for your grandparents, but keep it in proportion. Good luck

(My aaaarrgh! by the way, was that same year 12 parents' evening, which is why I went on for so long, as it's fairly close to my heart at the moment. AAaarrrgggh!)

I had a tutorial today, and got my first piece of assessed work back. It got 67, which I know is a good mark, but it's not as good as the 70 I got on my procedural essay, and I'm so unhappy about it. My tutor was so disappointed - I think disappointed for me, not disappointed in me, but it wasn't very nice even so. I worked really, really hard too - harder than I worked for the essay that I did better on, so I'm worrying that this is the best I can do. My friends keep pointing out that of course it isn't the best I can do, as in the past I've done better... but obviously hard work isn't the way to remedy the situation, since I worked harder on the 2:1 essay than the first essay... So I don't know where to go from here!

Poor lucky. Essay subjects are so difficult, because it's not easy to understand why you lost marks. You sound so like my daughter used to - she always said how frustrating it was that the marks don't seem to be proportional to the effort put in!

All you can do is your best, and I'm sure getting 67 this time doesn't mean you'll never do better than that. The more essays you work on, the better your technique should become. In any case, it's a very respectable mark and would be a high 2.1 OK, it's good to aim for higher than that, but it's not a big disaster in any way.

Did you kill the essay, Lucky, but overworking it? Strange though it might sound, if you work an essay too much you can end up taking the life and spark out of it without noticing - and it's that extra bit of flair which distinguishes the 1st class essays. It's kind of a balance between doing enough to make it good and not so much that it loses it's vibrancy.

Thanks guys. No, the main problem was that the essay lacked focus. As soon as my tutor mentioned it, it was obvious to me. I'd done a load of work, because I had to - the subject I was tackling was too broad, and so the essay kind of lacked direction in the end, and was disorganised and a bit all over the place.

I've had the same problem before, but I can't ever tell I'm doing it until it's been pointed out to me, unfortunately...

Okay. This is actually quite a common problem - especially amongst the stronger students. You basically had so many ideas and so much you wanted to write that you lost sight of what you were actually trying to argue in the essay and it therefore ended up lacking focus.

I sometimes teach my students (if I know they are musically inclined) that an essay is a bit like a sonata. It has a key theme that keeps reappearing - sometimes in slightly different forms which are still recognisable as the key theme - and there are also sections of development or variations in between the bits of the theme. In this analogy the theme is your argument, and it keeps resurfacing at the end of every paragraph or two where you put in one of two sentences to show how whatever you've just discussed (i.e. the development or variation) relates to the argument you are building.

If your library has it, then have a look at a book called 'How to argue' which was written by Alistair Bonnett. It's aimed at social science students, but I think is still applicable to developing arguments and structing essays in arts and humanities subjects. I'm happy to have a look at essays for you - I obviously can't comment on content, as it isn't my subject, but I can comment on things like structure and clarity of argument. It's often just a case of making a few minor tweaks to working

Thanks Flossie - I might take you up on that. I think my next essay will be better - or won't have the same problem, because while my original plan WAS all over the place, my tutor gave me an idea for structure.
Basically I wanted to write about identity, mirrors and a feminist continuum in Angela Carter, with reference to Jacques Lacan's Mirror Stage...
In order to keep it focussed, then, I need to relate everything back to Lacan, and explore parallels with the stages of child identity development, and the different stages of feminism in the stories.

I think I can sort of use Lacan as the focus, and thus keep the thread of my argument going all the way through.

Now all I have to do is read three gargantuan books on Lacan, aimed at psychologists, and I might be able to think about starting to plan!

Good luck with Lacan

I gave a paper at an interdisciplinary conference last week on "Mothers and Authority" where one of the first people to speak was analysing a couple of French novels using Lacanian theory. In the question time at the end of her paper someone started asking very aggressive questions and ended up telling her she was talking complete rubbish. It turned out that there were two professional Lacanian psychoanalysts in the room who were not impressed by what literary people could do with Lacan!