It's not really an argh, well, not a proper argh. It's just lots of little things and they all pile up and seem daunting put together.
1) Valentine's day on Monday...have got a card but not bought a gift. We may be going out on Saturday, to visit family though with a business purpose in mind (the family member is a web designer, doing the website for my husband's compnay). Which snookers any chance to shop then. I have been told that if we go, actually I don't need to go along, but that won't feel right. We shall see.
2) My Dad's birthday on the 23rd. Haven't got him a card or a present yet. Card is easy to sort out. Present is an absolute nightmare. We never ever know what to get my Dad and/or step-mother, they don't seem to have any hobbies, they don't need anything for the house, they don't eat chocolate or drink wine or really anything. Soooo hard, *sigh*
3) OU stuff is hard going at the moment. Next essay isn't until 10th March, but I need to keep on top of the work and actually try and work out what the heck the question means. I've done the work for the main essay, and not sure I'm any closer to understanding it (the question, never mind the answer). The pre-assignment tutorial is usually really helpful, but this time I can't get to it due to being at Egham.
4) Oh yes, Egham. Flippin' 'eck, I'm supposed to play this with people listening in one week's time. Argh!
5) Music generally. Not practising anywhere near enough. In part I think because I am utterly fed up with these three pieces so bring on the end of March. With any luck a date may get me to get myself in gear with respect to the scales (C# and G# majors being the particular bugbears). I think I'm developing a bit of a thing again about practising when my husband is in the house, which is stupid as I know he doesn't mind, he tells me, it's just if I'm fed up with these pieces, how must he feel? Lesson tonight, poor teacher is probably fed up with me...
6) Work. Lots and lots of stuff going on at work, very busy, but mostly with some complicated stuff. Getting my head around it is very hard work. Basically other groups on the team have insisted that the work I've done piecemeal over 2 years (as they say 'actually we want this to look this way' and a month later change something else, and a month later something else), they want re-written from scratch. By someone other than me. This has done wonders for my confidence in my ability! So I'm havng a go at re-writing it, someone else is having a go at re-writing it, and then we're going to collaborate. The other group are making waves about the collaboration - they want us to do it separately for the rest of the project, which is not our process (it's not our process to have a second person anyway - it's what their group does, and they want their processes to be used by us. Can see the argument both ways, but what they don't seem to get is that just because they demand it, doesn't mean we can just do it).
7) Now I'm working back in the temporary local office (rather than at home four days a week), I don't get my daily bike ride. Really missing it. Commuting to the local office is a possibility, but it takes a long time and I'm not very efficient cycling at the moment (lack of cycling in the snow / gain of weight in the snow. Lugging all this weight up a hill on unfit legs is less than fun). I could cycle commute but then I won't have time to practice, and I can't decide which I want to do most (both! But it seems if I can only do one, rather than choose I just do neither, which is no help whatsoever).
So I'd just like to curl up under my desk today and hide. Maybe with a pancake, if they are as good to hide under as a duvet
(And they are a handy snack if you need it).
And it's really not an argh, not really, not in the scheme of things...
Last Friday, I was due to have a meeting with among others my manager. He didn't appear online all day (on the instant messenger program), and about 10 mins before the meeting he sent an email - he and his girlfriend had gone for a baby scan that morning and been referred to the hospital for urgent tests. We've heard nothing more until this morning - we have an email from his manager, telling us that the baby is going to be delivered today, 5 weeks early, at which point they'll be able to figure out a diagnosis/next steps. So, ultimately, this puts my stupid little arghs in their place. I know
none of these are big things. But today, they feel
like it to me.