Just to pick up on a point that Jod made about parents getting absorbed. I've said it more than once on this forum that myself in particular comes on to discuss music matters. That does not mean that it takes up every waking moment of my day or that any angst is that serious that I lose sleep over it. I don't feel the need or desire to discuss anything other than music and how it relates to my DC's. I just can't believe how narrow-minded the "snipers" are being by accusing certain members of being narrow-minded.

I do think there are a group of members who really should know better and act better - if you have been there and done that then lead by example and show tolerance and guidance to parents with less experience. It is very unbecoming... This thread is for consolation, not an opportunity to have yet another go at someone you have decided to have a personal vendetta with.

Perhaps we ought to have two "Aaargh" threads; one for trivial and another for more more serious "aaarghs".

Sorry, but I had to laugh at your comment about people who "don't feel the need to tell the world about [their problems] but hope to get some relief from them by coming online to chat to people whom they regard as friends". What do you think "www" stands for?!!

I don't understand your point, I'm afraid. Or maybe you didn't understand mine?

That's so sad, and I know how just you feel. Recently we went to the funeral of the 17 year old son of some very close friends - he died suddenly in a tragic accident. Absolutely heartbreaking - he was the same age as our son and I couldn't believe how brave his parents and brother and sister were through it all, I don't know how they did it. Life can be so unfair. Hope you feel better soon - it took us a while to pick ourselves up again.

You're right; I don't think I did parse what you wrote correctly - sorry. This forum is so swamped these days with people divulging all sorts of things that it didn't occur to me that you were referring to those who use it but refrain from spilling their guts.

I can see how my post could have been read differently from what I intended. ViolaMum expressed better what I meant to say when she said some parents see "worrying about and ensuring the best for their children's future as an escape from the terminal illnesses in their very close family members."

Can we just try and get things back in proportion? Of course life must go on. Some years ago the lyc?e where I worked lost a much loved head teacher in a car accident. We had her own children at the school. They had lost a mother, many pupils had lost a teacher and we on the staff had lost a much loved and respected colleague.

In the light of that loss many every day things that had seemed to be important worries faded into the background. We were faced with two things - the awful loss, and the daily round we had to get on with.

In fact, I think both are part and parcel of the mourning and healing process. I wouldn't like anyone to slam Cyrilla for the fact that at the moment some things seem less important to her than others. I wouldn't like parents to feel that they are being blamed for the legitimate worries they have. I am sure that was not what was meant. And if people want to come to the caf? to find a bit of support that words can bring then I think that is all to the good.

When we lost our head teacher that happened just a few days after I had lost a much loved dog. I was inconsolable and my loss seemed enormous until I was faced with the greater one. But the most cherished memory I have of the colleague who was killed is that a few days before her death she sought me out in school to comfort me for the loss of an animal that had been a companion for ten years.

So I think when there are losses and bereavements and things hard to bear we should try to be gentle with one another.

When my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer, I had just been demoted at work and split up with a long-term boyfriend. I felt that I couldn't express my anger and hurt about the latter two issues in front of my family. The first person who said to me "How are you coping? Have you anyone to support you?" was someone I only knew slightly, but he was the one who had the heart to understand that, despite the fact that my mother's illness was the most IMPORTANT crisis in my life (it's 19 years to the day since she died and yes, I do still miss her), it wasn't the one that was aimed just at ME - and having someone understand that and take the time to hear and soothe my pain was the first best gift of that awful year. There were lots of silver linings and unexpected blessings, but that was a rare understanding that sometimes the pain is not proportional to the magnitude of the tragedy.

N.B. This is a general comment, NOT aimed at anyone in particular.

Is it just me, or does anyone else find the commonly-used abbreviations "DH", "DS", etc., unbearably smug?

I don't think it crosses most people's minds. It's just an abbreviation and no one is acting smug when they write it. It's become forum language with very little meaning and it probably originated as a bit of a send up. For example, PFB stands for Precious First Born to make the point that the mother posting is probably a bit neurotic.

All the 'D's put me in mind of Edina and Patsy. Or Jenny Dahling in The Archers.

Do real people talk like this?

But I do see how it has become shorthand, more's the pity.

I agree Aquarelle, and I regret that what I said yesterday must have sounded very harsh because that's how it sounds to me today. I was very shocked when I saw what the poster had said, but I guess a lesson that I must try and learn is either not to respond at all when shocked by something I read, or at least to try and respond with more tact.

in my case Dboys is short for D for Debenham Boys
MatthewD is his user name YSD is younger son Debenham
just like I'm JoD D for Debenham

nothing to do with 'Dahling' at all ....sweetie!

Did you ever read the book/see the film about "That D**n Cat"? He was always called DC. Same thing! A lot of us abbreviate when on line, and DS1 is much quicker to type than "My older son". (And, given that there was a time when my abbreviated descriptions of them were extremely unflattering and unpc, just be thankful that I stick with DS1 and DS2, and not PITA and Curly or worse).

Never crossed my mind that anyone would think the abbreviations smug! In emails to family friends, I sign myself "(initial) and the bs" - and you can read that whichever way you like!

A number of forum names get abbreviated : mine often shrinks to b-c. Others I can think of are kj (katyjay), DC (former member DaisyChain) and pcf (pianocelloflute).

And some of us are always an abbreviation

mm

(just agreeing with you!)

I don't think they are smug but I do get a bit peeved whern I don't know what they mean and can't guess.I think in the rules somewhere it asks us not to do this sort of thing.

It is true that one of the ways to shut people out is to use language they don't understand. I can't see anything wrong with using a short form if it is in a context which everyone can recognise. If I am answering a post by, say, Mad tom, I think it's OK to use MT. But I don't think it is always the best choice to use abbrevaitions that others might not recognise.

I might be feeling a bit prickly about this because I am in the process of dealing with the French administration about my new job status. They keep sending me lots of forms to fill in full of abbreviations like URSSAF, CARSAT, AGIRIC, MSA and many more. I don't think I had better say which abbreviation I would like to reply with but it has two letters and the first one is F.

Oh!

Ugh - a reality check yesterday!


Sorry if I've made a lot of negative posts lately! I'm really quite an optimistic person!! But sometimes the rubbish stuff builds up so I need to clear out that brain-drawer!!

I quite understand but I don't think that anyone on here would intentionally do that.

When I first went on a Forum I didn't understand the abbreviations at all and so found list of accepted and commonly used ones with their translations. I only try to use the the basic ones as shorthand and given that I don't want to use real names I think it is much easier to say DS or DS2 than give them nicknames. At least if I put DS everyone knows who I am referring to, if I start calling my sons Pinky and Perky or the like, someone dropping in to a post wouldn't have a clue who it was!

As far as talking that way in life - after 24 years together ask my DH if I call him Darling and he'll roll about laughing!

I don't like the 'text version' of our language, but do find my self using it - otherwise it would cost me a fortune in texts. I like to use correct English and Grammar when I can - is that showing my age?!!

One of my pupils showed me his personal statement the other day which had been "corrected" (by a teacher) by changing "people's" to "peoples'".

I saw a TV programme about a man who really hated the way language was misused. He carried a marker pen with him and corrected all the misplaced apostrophes and incorrect spellings that he saw on posters and boards!

Yes, I guessed O as the second letter too

(sorry - appeared in wrong thread, for reasons I can't fathom but might have something to do with chubby fingers on i-Pad.

Now if I thought for one moment the D stood for d'amn then I would find it a lot easier to bear.
Yes, DH, DS or even DD (d'amned dog as it would have meant in our family) ring more true in my ears than all this pretentious stuff, and probably be more suitable.
I hardly ever refer to my children (why would anyone but me be interested?) but when I do, Son1 and Son2 seems to do.

I had always assumed that DH etc was Dear husband and said with a slightly ironic tone. It doesn't irritate me in the slightest. I use DS or D1 (daughter1) , but I would never refer to them as dear / darling son etc. anywhere else. I just take it as the way people refer to their relatives online. I don't abbreviate in texts, it just comes out as unintelligible, maybe I take out the wrong letters. I find all the contant moaning about whether someone uses DS DD DH and constant nitpicking over missing apostrophes and so on far more annoying. Not everyone has had the benefit of a good education and we shouldn't be unkind, but show the way by silent example. In other words as long as your own grammar is correct why have a go at everyone else?

I hope that I haven't had a go at anyone about their misuse of language. If so I didn't mean to. I do silently think about it and think that it is sad that [edit] some children do seem to understand 'text speak' much more than English. But, apart from my own kids, I wouldn't say anything!

My comment about apostrophes was that my pupil, who isn't terribly confident, was made to think he had made a mistake by someone who should have known better (and who presumably did have a good education); that was what I objected to.

Just because the proliferation of abbreviations on the internet doesn't irritate you, that doesn't mean it's wrong for someone else to find it annoying. And given that the rules on this forum (I don't know about any others) state: 'Avoid using jargon, abbreviations or "text talk"', I would doubt that I am the first person to "moan" about this.

I think I am in trouble at orchestra for my bad guest leading at rehearsal last week!

The conductor/music director wishes to have chat with me at the next rehearsal, I doubt he is likely to say I am the best violinist in the orchestra.

Don't do yourself down! Perhaps he wants to give you one or two tips, or ask you to move to a different desk. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about.

Hope so, however I think I am doing very well in my regular place, 3rd chair 1st violin. I would like to stay there.

Argh, did a big bliss during concert this afternoon, cut the side of my finger on a key, and now it?s red, hot and throbbing!

That doesn't sound like bliss at all! Hope it gets better soon.

Can?t believe I typed that!! I meant bliss of course, and the redness, heat and pain have spread and now I have pus coming out of my finger Good job we had some ?botics in the house and I?ve swallowed a few. Hoping it will sort itself out overnight...

Still doesn't sound like bliss! (Yes, you did it again!)

On a more serious note, I'm not sure you should be prescribing yourself antibiotics.

Glissando, perhaps?

I thought you had to throw antibiotics out when the course was finished? Try antiseptic!

Maybe you'd getter bo and see your B.P.

GGGGGGGliss. Gah!

1. You should not prescribe antibiotics to yourself - they may do you harm, or interact badly with other medicines, or simply be ineffective against whatever problem you have. Your doctor will know.

2. If you ARE prescribed antibiotics you should always take a complete course - which usually means a dose every 6 hours for 5 days or more. Taking a small dose kills off the more susceptible bacteria, and may appear to fix your problem, but it allow the bacteria that have some resistance to the antibiotic to survive and breed the next generation. That is the way that we end up with superbugs that are resistant to most antibiotics. If you take a full course it wipes them out completely so resistance does not evolve.

3. Any left-over medicines at the end of a full course of treatment should be returned to the pharmacist for safe disposal. They should not be kept around for future use, or disposed of in the drains or domestic waste.

I think any doctor on the forum would tell you the same.

You can if you're a doctor can't you?

I am not sure about this, but I don't think Scooby Doo is a doctor.

I see what you did there.

I feel washed-out and exhausted and not in the slightest in the mood for the student about to arrive - or for having to teach until 9.30pm..

O Dear, Cyrilla! Are you coming down with a bug?
I rather hope that your student won't read that remark though.

Think I'm coming down with a bug. Hope it's easily (s)quashed.

No, no bug. Just been a very full-on and emotional few weeks and the last three days have been mega .

Aw, my student knew how I was feeling and immediately told me I should have cancelled. I said it was fine and that teaching him would wake me up - which it did (and which therefore made him a happy bunny too!). If he had read the remark he would know exactly what I meant and that it wasn't a personal dig at him in the slightest. He is quite new and absolutely FAB.

Still feeling very washed-out though...but I have a couple of hours to rest before my evening class arrive.