I had a consultation lesson on Wednesday with an 10 year old girl and her mother. They had been searching for a piano teacher for over 6 months, so were very happy to have found one. The girl had obviously already had a go with the piano at home so did know a certain amount already. They were both very enthusiastic and asked lots of questions. They took down the details of the books to buy etc. It was all very pleasant and the girl was obviously very enthusiastic and couldn't wait to get started. I packed them off after half an hour having arranged future lessons and saying see you next week.

Then, out of the blue this morning in the post, I get a letter from the mother stating that after careful consideration, they feel they would prefer to have a female teacher. Now, I have no real problems with parents chosing a teacher, but this somehow felt different - all the enthusiasm and all the arrangements made, all for nothing.

I might be reading too much into this but it seems very odd to have such a sudden change of mind especially when they were so desparate for a teacher. I don't know whether it was something I said or did which put them off? I take comfort from the fact that I haven't yet put off the 19 other current pupils - who by coincidence are all female!

Whether they find their 'ideal' teacher, I doubt. I think the girl was perfectly happy, but the mother obviously has a problem with it.

David

Sorry to hear that!
There could be loads of reasons for this. Perhaps the child just feels more comfortable with a female teacher...you know, motherly. I am a Mum and have a male teacher for my sons my daughter and they all love him! I wouldn't swop him for anything. I think the Mum may have a few problems coming up with an excuse like that so it may be a blessing in disguise...

I'm sure it is nothing to do with you at all!

There's no way of knowing what made the mother make this decision....don't worry about it.

Just a thought, but might it not have been the mother who changed her mind? If they showed good interest and set it all up it sounds like 'mum' was fine with it. Perhaps it was another family member that raised doubt? Maybe someone else who will be contributing funds or time running the child to and from? We all know some people are frightened by things they see in the news........ If that starts a prejudice? You can't fight something like that.
It's certainly a shame, but please don't let it get you down.

This was my reaction too.

Yes, it was this which concerned me. As a young male teacher I do feel very vunerable, and a large number of parents do believe everything they read in the news. But I guess there's nothing I can really do about it. The official line was that the daughter had changed her mind and asked for a female teacher - the mother's reason being that she would be very shy with a male teacher (though this was far from the impression I got).

David

It seems that they have lost out by not having you teach her.

You've lost nothing, as the gap you have will be filled by someone else.

Sorry to hear this dcmbarton. Maybe it's the ten year old girl who's been watching too much television news. I can't say that having a male teacher would have bothered me at ten.

Have you considered writing back saying that mum would be welcome to sit in on lessons if daughter was uneasy? Stress how comfortable she seemed and how well she did in the consultation lesson, and that children progress faster with parental support, and that mum's presence is a very visible sign of support (but beware of some of the problem parents that people post about here!).

Whilst parents do place an inordinate amount of trust in their child's music teacher (i.e. just abandoning offspring with a complete stranger, promising to be back in an hour), any incident which made the news would do so precisely because it's such a rare occurrence.

It must be difficult for male teachers, what with all the press on these sort of subjects. It's hard enough for female teachers like me. When I want to teach breathing and diaphragm exercises, I can't go anywhere near them. We are not allowed to get another child to touch them either now. I think it's all gone too far. I shouldn't feel bad for comforting an upset child, but it does make me feel awkward..........not because I don't want to comfort them, but that you never know what lovely tom #### or harry might say to their parents when they get home.

kids are so keyed up on what we can and can't do, that's it's scary how much control they could have over these situations.

There was a thread a while back about Criminal Record Bureau Checks. Might be worth a read to see if it could be helpful to set one up for yourself. Perhaps someone else can provide a link? Sorry to hear about your recent experience. You can't ever argue with the way someone else feels, though you might hope to change it!

You'd love it down here in Italy, or France, where I used to work.

Kids here exist to be cuddled, tickled and kissed.

Oh, and even an occasional light slap on the backside, to get the point across.

They love kids. The government knows better than to interfere in family life.

When I see what's happened in the UK, I want to cry.

Steve

David,
It is possible that the male/female issue isn't even an issue. I think the mum was just giving you any old excuse as they have changed their mind for whatever reason. They obviously had a great time when they saw you on wednesday - and this change of heart probably has nothing to do with you but with a change in their circumstances. Sounds to me as if mum has given you a lie as an excuse.

David, if I had a pound for every pupil I gave a first lesson to, "who had been looking for a teacher for 6 months", took a first lesson off me and the ######ed off into the evening sunlight never to be seen again, I would be a rich man.

No they weren't. They were looking for about 5 minutes. They tried you first, then found someone nearer\cheaper\both. There will be many more like them in the future; forget them.

Guess how I know

Steve


There is hope, even here.

I cuddle, tickle and kiss pupils. Kids and kids' parents quite like this, otherwise I would not do it.

The wheel will turn. Sooner or later, adults in this country will again be able to treat children the way children need to be treated.

Either that or I learn Italian and emigrate.

Steve

Dont take offence!
I am the eldest of 9 kids and have 3 of my own, and all of us females have preferred women teachers - even though I had an excellent male clarinet teacher. I cant put my finger on it exactly, but my feeling is that many girls around that age are just on the onset of pubety and bocoming aware of their surroundings. Take my daughter for example. When she had a male teacher, she practiced etc etc, but during the lessons the teacher ws lucky if he got 3 words ot of her. Whever she has had a woman, it is a whole more interactive expeience. I dont think its really much to do with whats heard on the news and distrusting men etc, its jsut the way some of us are!!!

The scottish system is making me scream at the moment! I've applied for what they call 'enhanced disclosure' because of the singing/ music classes I want to set up for 5 year-olds, and have a problem because the form needs to be countersigned by some authority. Problem is, it's me who's doing it as part of my own job (self-employed status, of course). So I rang the office and they suggested I contact the local council, which I do, only to be told (after being shunted round various departments) that they can't really do it as I'm not doing it 'for them' as it were and they're not involved so they can't sign, but I should write a covering letter explaining the difficulties, which I do, only to get the form back, saying, "Please contact your local council!" AAARGH! What I find annoying is I'm trying to be up-front and honest, and sometimes just to keep quiet is SO much less hassle!!!

Hmm, I think everyone's being a bit naive here. To take on a 10-year-old girl this would mean her spending time alone with a male adult on a regular basis, just as she's approaching puberty. They don't know you from Adam, presumably, so I think they're probably quite right to be worried, as they don't know you at all. They thought it was a good idea for you to teach her at first and then they thought it through and thought: 'hmm, perhaps not'. Perhaps someone told them about a case recently in the news, about a male piano teacher who abused pupils for years..

In the town I live, everybody kind of knows everybody, so all the male piano teachers have a track record with the mums, so to speak. Families send their daughters to these male teachers in the knowledge that nothing dodgy has ever happened; if anything ever did, the papers would be full of it and the teacher would be run out of town.

When my son started saxophone lessons as the age of 9 I have to admit to a moment or two's nervousness when I dropped him off - there I was, leaving my son in a basement with a (to me) complete stranger in a one-to-one situation. However, said teacher was already teaching father and son of a family known to me, so I was 99% confident and naturally things turned out fine.

Anyway, as a male teacher in a town that may not be as communal as mine, I'd recommend you get yourself police-checked; this can help allay people's fears. I had to be police-checked for work in schools, and I don't think it's a bad thing to have this certificate, although it's not a complete guarantee of anything.

Alternatively why not offer to go to this girl's house to teach her, if you possibly can? If the mother's there then she wouldn't have to worry, would she? Or if you already teach any young girls, why not ask them for a reference, which you could then pass on to any future nervous families?

It sounds like this mum was only doing what she thought best.

Violinia

I don't agree with this, and this is the response which really annoys me. If that is the view regarding male teachers, we might as well all give up now. Certainly it didn't figure in any of the other pupil's choice of teacher. Realistically what's to stop a female teacher doing anything dreadful either - with a male or female pupils? Why should they be quite right to be worried? There has to be an element of trust somewhere along the line, otherwise we might as well all give up now.

David

Realistically the vast majority of abusers are men - sad but true. Many parents are trusting of male music teachers, but could they ever forgive themselvs if something happened? This is what goes through their minds when deciding whether to leave their precious offspring alone in a house with a complete stranger.

I think you'll find that a lot of pupils end up alone in houses with male teachers through recommendation, which gives a pretty good seal of safety. Without this, how can a parent possibly know you're OK?

Thinking of the male piano teachers I know in my home town, three of them teach during the after school period with their wives and young children in another part of the house; this is reassuring to a worried parent. Another teaches in the pupils' own houses; the pupil's parent is there so no need to worry there.
Why on earth should a parent not be anxious about leaving their daughter in a house alone with a strange man? If the teacher is already known to friends or associates of the parent, then fine, but if he's not, then why do you think the parent shouldn't be concerned?

Violinia

VN likes male teachers both at school and in music. Said she likes old men who are good at telling funny stories!

Look, I'm certain the vast majority of male piano teachers are completely OK, but does this mean a prospective parent needn't ever worry, or do some discreet checks before leaving their child in a teacher's care, if the teacher isn't already known to anyone in the parents' circle?

I'm afraid it does happen:

Ex-chorister jailed for sex abuse

A former teacher and choirmaster has been jailed for eight years for a series of serious sexual offences on boys dating back more than 20 years.

Mark Peterson, 47, of Locks Heath, Southampton, used trips away and music lessons to carry out the attacks in the 1970s, Guildford Crown Court heard.

He was convicted on 10 charges when he appeared in court in May.

He carried out the attacks when he was a singer in a choir in Surrey, the court was told. (BBC NEWS)

________________________________________________

Teacher is jailed over child porn

A piano teacher who was caught with more than 70,000 indecent images of children taken from the internet has been jailed for two years.

Robert Howieson, 45, of Lambley, Notts, pleaded guilty to 16 counts of making, possessing and attempting to make indecent photos.

Howieson twice attempted to film pupils secretly with a video camera under his piano, Nottingham Crown Court heard.

The judge ordered that Howieson should never work with children again.

The offences covered a period of four years up to October 2003.

The court also heard Howieson had 700 indecent videos BBC NEWS

I know it happens rarely but it happens as illustrated above, so parents are right to be careful.

Violinia

This is why I don't teach children without a parent being in the same room. I teach lots of children of both sexes - their parents always stay! No problemo!

When my son is old enough to have private music lessons (he's four now) I'll stay with him for the duration of the lesson. If the teacher doesn't want me to, I'll find someone else who is happy with that arrangement.

I've taken a couple of pupils who have eventually revealed that they found their previous (male) teacher "creepy", "weird" and "a bit of a perv". Of course teenagers use the word 'bad" for "good" so there is no way for me to know what "a bit of a perv" amounts to in a 13 year old mind. I think they were actually just very shy, as it has taken me the best part of a year to thaw them out.

I'm still amazed that any parent would leave their 10 year old child in my house and drive away. I really prefer the parents to stay.

Here's two more - depressing, but there you are..

A music teacher was being held in $1 million bail yesterday after Bergen County authorities arrested him on suspicion of sexually assaulting young girls who had gone to him for piano lessons.

The teacher, Samuel S. Aster, 60, was arrested shortly after midnight Friday after an 8-year-old girl had reported to her parents earlier that day that she had been sexually abused by Mr. Aster during a piano lesson at his Teaneck home. Mr. Aster was charged with aggravated sexual assault and endangering the welfare of a minor.

Mr. Aster, who has a wife and a 21 year-old son, also taught music at Manhattan College.

William Schmidt, the Bergen County Prosecutor, said other children might have been involved and the investigation was continuing.

------------------------------------------------------

TAMPA - A northwest Hillsborough man who taught piano and guitar lessons from his home is being held without bail in the county jail, charged with fondling two 10-year-old music students on separate occasions starting in March.

Barton Arthur George, 53, of 9616 Clubhouse Lane, was arrested Thursday at his home on two counts of lewd and lascivious molestation, jail records show

Need I go on? I think we can safely assume it does happen, unfortunately.

Violinia

I think you are going overboard here, Violinia.

Should we all start posting our "So-and-so had a private music lesson today, had a great time, learned a lot and wasn't molested" posts?

They might take up rather a lot of space

I will start the ball rolling. Heidi had a sax lesson this morning with Bill, her teacher. She had a great time, learned a lot and wasn't molested.

Steve

Unfortunately bad things happen. I think that's why the MTNA (music teacher's nat. assoc.) in the USA offers liability insurance to its members. Just in case we get sued for whatever. Besides that, political correctness is taking over everything here. I can't escape that especially in the higher education area.

Personally, I'd prefer a male teacher. The profs that have given me the most problems have been women. I don't know why. I studied piano with a female teacher when I was growing up. I'm not sure why she doesn't talk to me much anymore. I have tried to be nice to her but sadly.. My piano profs in my undergraduate and master's were men. My master's prof is like a dad to me. I have a lady teacher now in my doctoral program.. she is very sweet and grandma-like. Yes, she is very strict too!

As a teacher, I usually let parents observe me whenever they want to. I do prefer a studio where there are windows and people can observe from there. I also enjoy teaching at a student's home... no misbehavior as the parent is just an earshot away.

I agree, and the constant posting of stories like the above from the press only goes by worsen the situation - what if parents are reading this thread or students? It doesn't give the right impression.

David

- dcmbarton

OK, point taken, and I was having the same thought myself. It does go on in a tiny minority of cases, but the vast majority of instrumental teachers are genuine and safe, so parents really shouldn't worry unduly.

However, I believe the best policy for a parent is - if you don't know this teacher from Adam, ask to stay with your child in the lesson at least until your gut instinct tells you this person is OK. Or get them to teach in your house. Or get a recommendation from a couple of other parents - it can't do any harm, can it?

Violinia

I think you're absolutely right.

The woman in question sounds like a typical "Did you read the Daily Mail yesterday?" person.

The facts are that there have always been child molesters around. For decades, everyone stuck their heads in the sand and pretended it didn't exist, while teachers and workers in childrens' homes did the most awful things.

Now we have an over reaction which is fuelled by the tabloid press. Never ever forget that the tabloids are there to MAKE MONEY! The name 'newspaper' is, to my mind, an insult to our intelligence. They decide what news to tell us, with one eye on the potential profits from increased sales.

We will see the bare facts from time to time, like your child is far more likely to be hit by a car than ever meet a 'dirty old man', but these headlines won't be read by the 'brain-dead' masses that the tabloids target.

Sadly, there's not a lot we can do. Just carry on being professional and try to set an example.

Very sad!

Steve

I've had 1 female music teacher, and I've had about 10 males in all (academic and instrumental). My violin teacher I've known so long it makes no difference that he's a man...he's just my teacher and really cool. My drum teachers, the first was unknown to my parents, my father stayed for the first lesson and then never again, he was the best, most inspiring teacher I've ever met and although I was 13, still never thought of him as a male. My next drum teacher was about 19 and I was 15. I got on worst with him actually, even though we should have had a more friend-like link.
Although there is one male music teacher who I know and learn from who is suspected to have had an affair with a pupil. But who knows...

During lessons that's what's important, I think I'm more comfortable with male teachers actually. One of my friends had some very perverted jokes regarding g-strings and dampness (violin lesson) from a female teacher which made her very uncomfortable.

I'll tell you why I prefer male teachers, just realised the reason. It's because you just have to get on with it, with females you can chat about girly things and be a bit more wishy washy, I reckon men get on with it more and make me work a lot harder.

Ho hum!

I have the same piano and singing teacher. He's ok, sometimes he can be a bit odd but he's really passionate about music so at the end of the day, he gets on with it! My vio teacher is only 21 and she just came out of uni, i think i could talk to her all day about girly things like bohemian said! But i see that as a good thing, not bad because then you feel more relaxed i guess?

Yeah, if relaxed is your style I think younger or female teachers are better for you, but I don't like to be hanging around chatting during lesson time. Until recently I would have agreed with you though tiger_vio.

Yeah!
I think im lucky though, because when my teacher does teach (ive had 4 previous teachers) she is REALLY good! So we can afford to talk a little Im just one of those people who can get nervous & freeze around people, so i guess a teacher of that type is better for me. I always seem to end up with the talkative teachers, hehe.

To be honest, I would be very disturbed if my child was kissed or touched on the buttocks out of public view by their music teacher. I can see no need for this. Maybe I'm prejudiced, but because of all the child abuse from priests I would be even more concerned if the teacher was a single middle-aged male.

It's how things are these days. Any kind of private teaching of pre-teens falls to the same problem (so includes childminding where males can be qualified to the hilt but are shunned by parents).

What worries me about this thread is that it isn't always MEN. Just that women are less often "exposed" which could possibly be due to the inherently different relationship between a female teacher and pubescent males, than vice versa.

To a newcomer, reading this thread would reinforce the misperception that only dirty old men exist in the private teaching arena, which is simply not true.

It's part of the price we pay for allowing the media to shape our attitudes and perceptions, dependent as most people are on sensationalist press (who know very well how to sell newspapers, hyping up a juicy moral scandal) and television, rather than word of mouth in the "community", which we don't have any more unless we're lucky enough to live in an isolated village.

W

I agree about that sort of touching, however making a sweeping generalization like 'even more concerned if the teacher was a single middle-aged man' I feel strongly is not valid. I have been CRB checked but the majority of parents don't expect that - it's a bonus for private cheating. Some may say that the credability of that system has been called into question in recenet years. We don't want to come to a situation where all middle aged single men are outcasts from society because of what they might do. You have to remember that those who abuse their positions in the suggested way, are in a very very minute minority. I should think a child would have far more chance of being run over by a bus.

David



Exactly the point I made earlier - it isn't just men. Similarly, as I said some of the things posted on this thread are not the image we want to be portraying to prospective parents, who will believe what they read.

David

Sorry, if I gave the wrong impression, but I was talking very generally, and certainly not specifically about music lessons.



From priests?????

I think the rampant abuse in schools, childrens homes, borstals, detention centres etc up to approx 1985 was far worse than the few priests that were finally caught.

So what about young male teachers in your local school.

Not married yet= bad. Married=good?

Steve

A study by the John Jay College of Criminal Justice, City University of New York, found 4,400 priests accused of abuse between 1950 to 2002 (10,670 individuals reported abuse). This corresponds to a rate of about 4.4% of priests. 80% of priests were over 30 at the time of first offense.
http://johnjay.jjay.cuny.edu/churchstudy/_pdffiles/exec.pdf

Um, abuse is um, somewhat widespread amongst priests! A lot of it is covered up!

Or didn't you know this?

http://www.npr.org/news/specials/priests/

I must stress that this is no way because they're Catholics - Protestant priests, rabbis, etc etc do it too - any potential abuser with access to children can be tempted. However, my own view is that it's more likely amongst the priesthood of any denomination than amongst lay people such as music (or any other) teachers, because such total devotion to an (apparently) ascetic life can sometimes be symptomatic of an unease with the world at large - which may in turn mask other problems.

Violinia

Are you talking religious people who hide themselves away in devotion to God of whom we know little about and make wild guesses, or those wonderful people who selflessly devote their lives to their parish and to helping the members of the community (and I'm not talking about us wonderful musicians) ?

I really think you'd better stop there.
These sort of people cross all of society. Sadly, it is not uncommon for parents to have warning letters from school about the latest incident of a child being stalked on their way home by e.g. a silver car with two men inside. In a more recent incident a child managed to get away from a man who tried to grab her on her way home from school and pull her into his car.
These people are hidden in society and not 'sitting ducks' for surveys.
I think we are getting away from the 'thread' here.

Going back to the thread, I think Violinia was just being honest when she said how some people feel about male teachers. I would be unhappy leaving my daughter alone in a room with a man for a piano lesson, of whom I know nothing about. Sorry about that...but I would. It's just common sense.

John you are very sensible - by having a pupil's parent in the room when you teach you have someone to witness your behaviour. I am rather concerned at the moment about the problems that can happen to male teachers because a collegue of mine has recently been prosecuted and is now not allowed to teach children....he was teaching in the pupil's home and touched the child in order to stop her falling off the piano stool. The parents took the teacher to court and he is now not allowed to teach under 16's for 10 years. He did not have to go to prison because so many parents of past pupils and collegues wrote in his defence. He is nearly 60 and his career has ended. He feels so bad that he is going to move away. It is a terrible situation and he is completely innocent, just naive to think that he could touch someone as a reflex and only to stop them from falling.. this is so unfair and he does not deserve what has happened to him. This is a very sad situation.

At the festival I accompanied recently (described in another thread) one of the adjudicators is also an senior AB examiner. He described an incident where he was administering an exam for an obviously ill teenager. During the aural, the teenager fainted and fell towards the piano. The examiner's choices were; catch the girl by leaning across the piano and man-handling her; allow her to brain herself against the piano.

Happily, he adopted the former, but then found himself stuck. To free himself, he would have to let the child fall. To maintain his position looked bad (and must have felt worse - aching arms, legal action and all that). Happily the steward was within hailing distance and was able to come to the rescue quickly.

Filling in the resulting forms took a couple of hours, the examiner told me.

He also said that, when he first started examining, instructions and guidelines included, "Putting a warm arm around a candidate can make them feel at ease." Stll would, if they were allowed to do so.

Perhaps the wheel will finally start to turn after some poor child is allowed to die because some poor individual is too terrified to take the necessary actions to save her.

It will not be a child for whom I have responsibility, but then I live in a sane part of the world.

Steve

To be honest Steve I think most of us do live in sane parts of this world the biggest problem is that people need to be able to point the finger or blame.

There are horrible people around FACT however is it any worse than when I or my dad or his dad were children no its not if anything it probably better, the Victorians for all their self rightiousness were not the best of societies where children were concerned.

I believe we need to take a step back and asess the risk, then decide what we believe is acceptable and act accordingly. This lady believed her child would be happier with a female teacher which she believe is approriate. We can not judge why that is but accept it as a decision and hers to make as of right. I happen to disagree with it but again thats is my decision to make.

We actually dont know why this lady came to this choice if it was either of my girls they would have prefered a male teacher but that says more about them than the teacher i.e. they believe they would learn more i.e. less chat more down to earth and get on with it! Yes I am aware of the generalisation but I am not the only one making them!

I say this as a father of three, two girls and one boy. It saddens me to see the lack of freedom afforded to children in this day and age and virtually all down to over worry. As parents we need to get things into perspective. Has horrible has these people and the crimes they committ are, they are less likely to happen than a child being run over. Do we ban cars? Do we stop speeders from driving? Do we stop manufactures making death traps. No we dont we educate.

This mother probably found a closer teacher or cheaper teacher and didnt want to says that. Or maybe she told the truth and her daughter would feel more comfortable witha lady teacher. It still doesn't reflect on the abilities or actions of the rejected teacher just on the mother and daughter........ I for one if I was the teacher would put it down to experiance and move on.

As an aside I have given up coaching badminton and rugby because of these very issues. But of more concern was the worry at being sued if someone injured themselves etc lets hope music teacher do not find themselves being taken to court beacuse the piano lid fell on a students hand!!!

How absolutely awful! And I suppose that if he'd just allowed the child to fall off the stool the parents would have sued him for that instead - the poor man! It sounds to me as if they just thought they could make some money out of the situation - what dreadful people, to ruin someone else's life over what they MUST have known was nothing sinister at all!

I also add to the question of -

"Why always men?"

Not only can women be as culpable and not always with the opposite sex.

pms, what a horrid thing and it shows that procedure has taken over from common sense. Is it that common sense is now missing from the domination of our lives?

Kai

P.S. I can't think why anyone would want the risk of tutoring children privately. As potential child-tutors realise the pitfalls, music will suffer as it is not taught usefully in schools now. Other private tutoring subjects must follow: reading, mathematics, languages among others.

Some of the contributions to this thread suggest that abuse is very common, but as Steve Hopwood points out, nobody reports "non-happenings" - because they are not newsworthy. I don't think that the gender makes any difference - what counts is the personalities of teacher and pupil - they do need to be compatible. There are female teachers out there who are bullies or over-critical, but does that mean that all women teachers are like that? Of course not. I find it very sad that our culture has such a high degree of prudishness and prurience, fuelled by the press, which wants to sell copy, and ourselves when we are gullible enough first to buy it and then to generalise it to all males, or all priests, or all of whatever category of people is under the spotlight.
I do think there are other very good reasons for parents to sit in on lessons, not least if they wish to provide support to their child(ren) in learning, but I have also found that from time to time it helps with communication with the teacher too - sometimes a teacher will try explaining something one way which does not make the most of the way the child processes information, for instance.

The case of the teacher (pm's colleague) being banned by the courts from teaching under-16's for 10 years because he physically rescued a student from falling off a piano stool is utterly appalling. One can only wonder at the sanity of the parents for reporting it, and the judge for making the decision he/she did. And what about the excessive paranoia of the child for even mentioning it to the parents? This sounds like a case of paranoia gone into over-drive with catastrophic results, and the parents concerned should be ashamed of themselves for ruining a career in this way.

I do suspect that sanity in this department is soon to be restored - too late for pm's friend, tragically - in that teachers are soon to be given permission to physically restrain pupils. Once can only hope that by extension this will also restore the right of teachers to touch pupils where appropriate, as in say correcting a pupil's faulty musical technique, putting a reassuring arm round an upset child, or preventing an accident. Even a spontaneous hug on occasion wouldn't go amiss at times.

What on earth happened to common-sense?

The problem here is that the vast majority of teachers are non-abusers; however, the tendency to silence around abuse leading to situations where cases have gone unreported for many years is probably what has led to the recent culture of paranoia where innocent teachers have been accused and had their careers ruined in the process, as well as the right people being arrested.

In one-to-one situation with no witnesses, innocent people do sometimes get accused and tragically, mud sticks; this is just as bad as the guilty people getting away with it. What to do? Work towards lessening the unnecessary paranoia, which hopefully will occur when this new legislation is in place. I think things are begining to improve here, in that you no longer hear of over-zealous social workers frequently dragging children away from genuinely innocent parents. It's just so hard sometimes to get the balance right, where you protect the innocent - both the children and the teachers.



I would have thought my careful use of the words 'sometimes' and 'may' made it clear who I was talking about - no of course I don't mean those (genuinely) 'wonderful people who selflessly devote their lives to their parish and to helping the members of the community'!

Violinia

The unfortunate thing these days is that if an accusation is made (whether true or false) the teacher is deemed guilty until proven otherwise, but even after having been proved otherwise, there is no real going back to the way things were before. I had a male colleague of mine accused by a little ***** once, and although it was false and she later admitted that, it affected him badly and he left teaching shortly afterwards.

One of the things which has frightened me most about this thread, is the sweeping generalizations that people seem to be making - especially from people who are well aware of the precarious situation that we find ourselves in the 21st century.

David

Happy Birthday David!
(A thread has been started in the Forum's cafe wishing you happy birthday)